Chapter 8
ROWAN
After breakfast, I went right back to my room, claiming I was “stomach-achingly full” as an excuse, which apparently Iris took as a compliment to her syrup-to-batter pancake ratio she recommended. She even waved me off with a flourish like she’d just cured the common cold and chaos in one meal.
Now, several hours later, I’ve gotten acquainted with the joys of breaking bones and animalistic tendencies.
The super fun things to look forward to now that I apparently have a wolf inside me.
The book Liz left on my nightstand is basically Wolf Shifter 101: So You’ve Sprouted a Tail, complete with hand-drawn illustrations and footnotes that are either mildly threatening or accidentally erotic—I honestly can’t tell which.
I’m halfway through the chapter, which might as well be titled “Managing the First Shift Without Screaming (Much)” when I seriously consider setting the pages on fire and just winging this new life like a feral raccoon.
Because apparently, before the first transformation involves enough excruciating pain to rival full-body electrocution, a sudden craving for red meat, and a possible side-effect of emotions that swing harder than a caffeinated toddler on a jungle gym.
So far, I’m checking two out of three.
I close the book with a groan and flop back against the pillows, stomach growling like it wants to pick a fight with the fridge.
“I could devour a whole cow,” I mutter to the ceiling, which does not care. Or does it…
The tiles blur and then create an image of a motherfreaking cow.
“How about a starry night?” I say next because it’s the most logical thing I can think of that belongs above me.
Another shimmer and sure enough, the constellations are alive and well, right inside this bedroom.
All right then. At least not everything here wants to kill me.
As I’ve so often done since arriving here, I remind myself that maybe I should have been more grateful for my life that no longer exists.
One where I was blissfully ignorant of wolfie things and only slightly aware that there was more out in the world waiting for me. Though if I’d known just how much was waiting out here…
Sigh. I could’ve lived out my days eating drive-thru tacos and pretending my weird dreams were just the result of binge-watching supernatural dramas.
But nope. Fate had other plans—ones with claws, cryptic grandmothers, and rogue wolves who look like they’ve stepped out of a fictional novel with a murder complex.
My mind traitorously drifts to Cade—again. His voice. His stare. The fact that he moves like he’s both stalking prey and guarding a kingdom. Infuriating and hot in equal measure.
I keep trying to blame these thoughts on the animal I can feel growing stronger within me and the mate connection I’ve learned more about from the book, but I also read that finding your mate doesn’t mean you lose control over yourself and desires.
The bond only amplifies what naturally occurs.
Which I took to mean I already found Cade hot and lickable, but because we’re meant to be mates, those emotions are now making my skin feel like it’s on fire whenever I think about him.
Have I mentioned how fun this new life is for me?
I have so many regrets.
I press the heel of my hand to my chest, right over where that strange hum sometimes starts up like a whispered war drum.
My wolf—I think that’s what this is anyway—has been oddly quiet the last hour or two.
Which is probably not a good sign for me.
Either she’s sulking, plotting, or saving her energy to hijack my body the next time someone breathes aggressively in my direction.
Because to make matters worse, if I don’t find a way to control the beast within, yeah, she can take over whenever she damn well pleases.
There’s a faint rustle by the door that pulls me from my bitchy thoughts. I sit up sharply, heart thudding once before I see a small, familiar blur dart into the room. Archie hops onto the end of the bed with a huff, dragging something behind him with his little teeth.
A folded piece of paper, tied with an unnecessarily sparkly ribbon.
I eye it with the kind of suspicion usually reserved for glitter bombs or potentially expired food. “Who’s that from?”
“Liz. Don’t worry, it won’t hurt you.” Archie nudges it closer, waiting ever so patiently for me to stop being so paranoid.
In my defense, I was blown up while trying to deliver a bottle of whiskey. I’m officially in my ‘trust no one, not even stationary’ era.
I untie the ribbon and unfold the note, bracing for impact, but there’s nothing out to get me. Just an elegant script written out.
Rowan,
When you’re ready, come meet me out front.
I promise, there will be no crazy grandmas or
brooding men present for what I have planned.
Only answers and opportunities.
See you soon!
XO,
Liz
Well, color me intrigued.
“We like her, right?” I ask Archie, since he knows more about this place than I do.
He nods. “We do. Liz was actually friends with your mother.”
My throat tightens. Part of me was hoping she was more human than supernatural. “What is she?”
His eyes spark with mischief, a first since I tried to run from this house and he had to protect me. “I’ll let Liz tell you about herself. Just trust that she’s not a threat to you, nor do I suspect she ever will be.”
My fingers drum over the book in my lap. “I guess I should go see what she wants.”
Plus, the curiosity of what she is might just kill me.
Setting the book down, I start to stand, but Archie stops me with his next sentence.
“I was also friends with Jocelyn before.”
I freeze, my pulse spiking. “My mom?”
He hops down onto the arm of the chair next to the bed, tail flicking like he’s nervous to speak his next words. “Long before you, I was meant to be a familiar, bound to a witch. Only she decided she didn’t want me. She wanted a cat.”
There’s an air of disgust in his tone that might be funny if his words didn’t sound so damn sad. They send a pang of sadness that stirs in my chest, sharp and uninvited. “She rejected you?”
Archie shrugs in the way only a ferret can—half whiskers, half wiggle.
“It sounds worse than it was. Familiars are supposed to be…connected. I wasn’t, and that meant I was free.
Free enough that when Iris found me thirty years ago and bribed me with a permanent home at NightShade, with the option to come and go as I pleased, I said yes. ”
“So, you knew Mom just before I was born?” I’m not sure how I feel this, but it’s probably another oddity I just need to roll with.
His nose twitches. “I did. Iris wanted me to distract Jocelyn. But the moment I met her, I knew no one—not even her own mother—could stop Jocelyn from loving that shifter, forbidden or not.” He pauses, softer now. “I wish I could tell you more about him, but I never really met him.”
I press my lips together, my throat tight. I long ago gave up asking about my father. Maybe that’s something I can talk to Iris about later.
“When Jocelyn left to keep her pregnancy a secret, I decided to go, too. I drifted around for a while—different manors, covens, places that were never mine. Until Iris tracked me down again.” He lets out a tiny, humorless chitter.
“This time, I didn’t need a bribe. I would’ve followed Jocelyn anywhere, even if it meant pretending to be a house pet.
She was still the closest thing I had to family until you picked me up that first time. ”
Damn this sweet, sweet ferret. He’s going to make me cry. I reach for him, holding him to my chest as my eyes burn and he continues.
“You looked at me with bright eyes and grinned and giggled, and I knew where I belonged.” He lifts his head, gaze sharp and startlingly earnest. “Not because of magic, not because of a bond, but because the love I felt from you and for you wasn’t anything that could be forced.
Iris was furious with me, but there was no way I could help her get to you.
Not once I saw the sacrifices Jocelyn made to protect you. ”
The ache in my chest splinters, half grief, half warmth. “Archie…”
He nudges my hand with his nose, voice quiet. “Just remember, no matter what happens or what you learn, your mother loved you more than her own life, and as long as I’m still breathing, you’ll never be alone.”
I can’t hold back the tears any longer. I hold my best friend to my chest and sob like I’m five again. Nothing is held back in the privacy of my room with the one being I know understands me, maybe even more than I do.
His warmth soothes the heartache from deep within, and by the time I’m done, I actually feel better than I have in days, maybe even weeks.
“Thank you,” I tell him, stroking his little head with one finger. “I wouldn’t make it here without you.”
“We’re in this together,” he promises before wiggling out of my grasp. “Now, go meet Liz. I’m sure she can answer more questions for you as well.”
Reluctantly, I let him go, smiling as he curls back onto the bed. If only I could sleep most of the day away with him.
With one hand on the door, I glance back at Archie, who’s still watching me. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Rowan.” His little fangs poke out like he’s smiling, but it doesn’t last. “Don’t forget.
No wandering alone outside the manor. Iris may have kicked everyone out, but that doesn’t mean people won’t stop by.
If someone you haven’t been introduced to tries talking to you, don’t engage. ”
My stomach twists. For a few hours, I thought my worst problems were going to be transitioning into a growling animal, but Archie’s words quickly remind me, I also have some sort of prophecy to contend with. One I should probably learn more about, sooner rather than later.
“Got it.” I nod, reaching for the door. “I’ll do my best not to get killed between here and meeting Liz.”
I’m mostly joking, but the ruffling of his coat tells me he doesn’t find this funny. Though if I can’t find a way to laugh about all this, I might actually lose my mind.