Chapter 15
ROWAN
It only takes a second for my wolf to rein in her hormones. That doesn’t mean they vanish—oh no, they’re still simmering under the surface—but at least I’m not in immediate danger of embarrassing myself by, say, lunging at Cade like he’s a steak dinner. Small victories.
Except Cade is still frozen in place, and by judging the look on his face, he might be the one with bigger problems for once.
I try to ask him if he’s okay, but then I remember I’m not me. I’m her, the wolf. And yet, that doesn’t feel like two separate things anymore. Every step she takes, every thought I try to form, stitches us tighter together, thread by thread, until it’s hard to tell where Rowan ends and wolf begins.
If you hadn’t spent so much time thinking you were human, maybe this wouldn’t come as such a shock, that same voice from before says with a sprinkle of snark. She sounds a lot like me, but at the same time, older and more refined and possibly more bitchy.
First off, manners, I snap back. Nice to meet you, too. Second, it’s not like I knew what I was and avoided it.
She huffs, and I swear I can see her wolfish eyes roll. But you wanted to. You didn’t want our mate. I’m going to change that.
Ah, so she has a bone to pick with me already.
Or is it that I have a bone to pick with myself?
This is going to be interesting.
I think we got off on the wrong…paw, I start to say but she cuts me off.
Not now. Her attention, which becomes mine as well, zeroes in on Cade.
And okay, fair. Because the man is staring at us with this perfect storm of reverence, patience, and hunger that makes my new fur bristle in ways I did not authorize.
We move closer, silent paws on the earth, breath syncing like we’ve always done this. Her head lowers until there’s only a whisper of space between us and him.
He closes the gap, pressing his forehead against the side of our face, his voice a low rumble that hits harder than any command. “I knew you could do it.”
Right. I almost forgot how supportive he’d been when I was failing at what everyone said would be natural for me.
If you hadn’t…
This time I cut my inner bitch off. We’re not doing this now, remember?
I feel her mood shift, begrudging but intrigued, like she’s testing me. Good. She wants to see me take charge? Then I’ll give her something to watch.
“Do you sense what you are yet?” Cade asks, and my stomach knots because…no. I haven’t the slightest clue what he’s talking about.
I wait for the wolf-girl commentary, but she stays quiet. And somehow, that silence is worse than her sass.
I want to talk to Cade, to ask what I’m supposed to do next, but my words don’t echo out loud in this form. Just empty air and the sound of my own breathing.
Oh, no.
If I can’t talk to him, how am I going to ask how to go back into…me?
You ask me.
Great. I’m left to trust the being who doesn’t seem to really like me for reasons that aren’t even my fault. I’m going to be a wolf forever.
You’re right, she says and defeat washes over me before she continues. About before. You didn’t know, but you also don’t know how long I’ve waited for this moment. I’ve been trapped for twenty-nine years, and for most of that, I didn’t understand why.
There’s a sadness in her voice that guts me. I’m sorry. If I’d known…
Thank you.
Before I can figure out what else to say, Cade’s voice cuts in, low and rough. “Do you want to run with me?”
The question snatches the breath from my lungs. Do I? My wolf’s answer is immediate—pure excitement that surges through my veins like lightning. And honestly, I can’t deny it. Sprinting through the forest sounds like freedom and release.
Even though the shift nearly shattered me, there’s a pulse thrumming inside this body that’s dangerously addictive. Like I could get lost in it and never claw my way back to human. All the heavy questions, the betrayals, the prophecy—they fade until it’s just the three of us.
Four of us, she corrects. Cade has his wolf, too.
She nips at his hand, an action to me that seems to come out of nowhere, and I’m certain he’s going to be furious, but then, a smile graces his face that leaves me breathless.
Oh, that’s dangerous.
No, that’s ours.
“Then let’s go,” he says. While it’s an answer to his previous question, it also feels like a command that makes my fur bristle and not in a good way.
That’s because he’s not our alpha, Wolf says. Nobody is.
I’ve read about the packs, about how there are six of them, each with their own distinctions, but I haven’t gotten to the hierarchy of what it means to be a part of one yet. Something I should probably do soon.
So, does that mean when he tells me what to do, that’s going to be a turn-off from now on? I ask her, hoping she doesn’t choose this moment to make fun of me, because I’m thinking what a disappointment that will be…
She actually laughs, but not harshly. Not necessarily. Once we’re used to this power that’s growing within us, we’ll be able to control it better.
As Cade backs up, presumably to start his shift, I ask her one more question. How do you know this if you’ve been trapped all this time?
After she said that earlier, I expected her to only know as much as I did.
Archie, she says. When he first arrived, I wanted to eat him for a snack, but then his energy ignited my own.
I still don’t know how, but his presence awakened a piece of me I didn’t know existed.
I was able to transcend to my ancestors.
I couldn’t communicate with them, but I could access their knowledge for a short time.
Well, that’s going to be helpful. No wonder she was so smug before.
I glance at the forest beyond us, the dark line of trees feels both welcoming and terrifying. Our paws itch against the dirt. The energy inside bouncing like a kid at recess.
We’re ready for this, she says confidently.
Easy for you to say, I mutter. I’ve been a wolf for five minutes, and last time I checked, my cardio was limited to climbing three flights of stairs without dying.
Well, that might be a lie. I don’t remember being worn out after trying to run from NightShade the other night.
Her answering chuckle moves through me, wild and delighted. Trust me. This is what we were made for.
Before I can panic further, Cade’s body starts to glow, and he crouches low.
I want to look away because I remember how badly this hurt, how it felt like I was going to turn to ash, but I’m captivated by him as his shift begins.
The sound is brutal—bones breaking, tendons snapping, a ripple of muscle tearing before reforming—but somehow, I sense his peace, and more than that, it’s over in heartbeats. In his place stands a massive wolf, dark russet fur gleaming, eyes the same molten gold as his human ones.
The sight steals my breath. He’s terrifyingly beautiful. So much so that I’m not sure what to do with myself.
His wolf brushes past me, his flank warm against mine, and nudges my shoulder with his massive head. A challenge. A dare. A promise. All wrapped up into that first initial touch.
My wolf doesn’t hesitate. She bolts forward, claws tearing up earth, lungs expanding with wild air.
For a terrifying second, I think I’ll stumble.
But it doesn’t take long for everything to click.
This new form finds its rhythm, all four legs stretching farther than I thought possible, paws eating the ground like I was born to this.
The forest starts to blur past. The wind lashes against my face, cool and sharp, and I feel unstoppable. Invincible. Free.
Cade is at my side in an instant, his stride effortless, his presence steady as a heartbeat. He nudges me again mid-run, and instead of faltering, I surge faster, exhilaration bursting through me.
See? my wolf crows, triumphant. This is who we’re meant to be.
I would have never agreed before, but damn, if I can deny it now.
Deciding to stay, to face whatever is coming, just might be the best decision I’ve ever made.
Because with Cade keeping pace beside me and the night wrapped around us like a secret, I’ve never felt more alive.