11. Harlowe
Ididn’t know Misha, but I knew what a panic attack looked like and so did JaToya. It was why neither of us said anything when we saw his face after he crashed into her. And then he froze when he realized he knocked her down.
He was holding his breath, which was just going to make things worse, but he also didn’t know me for me to try to help him.
So, I did the only thing I could think of to get him to breathe again.
I distracted him by pretending to trip and dump my coffee down my shirt.
That was the nice thing about having a penchant for black clothes.
They didn’t stain, and these clothes were headed for the laundry anyway after traveling all day in them.
Cullen and Rue didn’t say anything about what happened with Misha and Cullen seemed to really like gossip.
I could appreciate that. I didn’t really like it when I helped Mom out of a situation and people were saying stupid shit where she could hear it.
We were out of earshot of Misha and everyone else and they still had the decency not to make any kind of shitty comments.
Isobel wasn’t talking because she didn’t like me. I got it. It had been such a whirlwind since Halloween in the subway that I hadn’t really considered how late it was in the semester. Some pretty big strings were pulled and the only way I’d pass my finals were if I got grades I didn’t earn.
Isobel might be friendlier to me once I got put on probation and had to claw my way back up.
I’d be a lot gentler with myself if that happened.
I didn’t want to pass any of my classes because someone ordered my professors to give me good grades.
I wasn’t going to grovel to get her to like me, though. I didn’t ask for any of this.
We peeled off and went to my dorm room. JaToya flopped on my bed, put her hands behind her head, and leveled her gaze at me.
“Listen, Miss I Can Fix Him, we aren’t doing that here.
You can fuck anyone here except those Immortal Nightmare boys.
I didn’t like the way two of them were staring at you and the third is just not in a good place.
Find some nice, tortured emo boy who paints or writes poetry or some shit, but I’m going to break out the spray bottle if you start sounding too interested. ”
I just laughed and flipped her off. My best friend knew me, but she also knew I never chased. They didn’t like me and they were staring for the same reason everyone was. They probably didn’t like me for the same reason Isobel didn’t.
“I need a plan. This all happened so fast I didn’t even think about how weird it was that the train ticket was for now instead of next semester.
I was on the Dean’s list every semester in undergrad and I still practice every day, so I’m not completely hopeless here, but I basically missed my entire first semester.
I missed juries, papers, and exams. Even if my finals are super weighted and I manage to pass them all, I’d have zeros on everything from the rest of the semester. ”
“Check the app to see what your classes are. If Luca owns the school and strong armed your admission, this Faustus guy deals with the day to day shit. His hands may have been tied about when to let you in, but I can’t believe he’d set you up to fail.”
“He might,” I said, pulling up the app. “I think everyone here is pretty annoyed with this.”
Huh. JaToya was right. Dr Faustus wasn’t trying to sabotage me.
I didn’t have a full roster of classes. He had me meeting with two advisors several times a week and then there was time blocked off for independent study.
I couldn’t play in the orchestra for the production of The Nutcracker they were doing, but I was going to be an assistant to the conductor so I could still participate in my own way.
I loved composing. It was something I’d been doing since I was a kid, but I always considered myself more of a performer.
I took a few classes in undergrad for my electives and I loved them.
I never considered doing anything with it because it was just how I liked to express myself sometimes.
And other times, there just wasn’t a piece I could pull out that fit the emotions I wanted to get out when I picked up my violin, so I wrote one.
“Looks like they also want me composing while I’m here.
They didn’t fuck me over, but I don’t know if this is going to help my case with the students.
I have two advisors. One for violin and one for composition.
I don’t have any classes, just blocks set aside to book practice rooms for violin and to write music. ”
“I mean, good. You’ve got the look and the talent. If you didn’t look like Lurch when you try to dance, you could be as famous as those idiots staring at you while you were eating.”
“You could be my backup dancer, but you’re going to design a robot that can go through a black hole or some shit.”
“Or some shit because that’s not possible. I know you’re going to want to confront this Faustus guy on your own about security, but do you need me with you?”
“No, I think I can handle it without getting kicked out on the first day.”
Because that was a problem sometimes. Professional me knew diplomacy and how to handle difficult people. You had to learn that early in the arts. But professional me had her limits if my safety was at stake and when I didn’t have that hat on, people sometimes thought I was being mean when I wasn’t.
“You sure about that, cupcake?”
JaToya spoke fluent Harlowe. Both my words and my resting bitch face. She could always swoop in so I didn’t make it worse, but I managed without her when we went to different schools for undergrad and I could handle this.
“I don’t think he wants me kicked out. I don’t think he had a choice about when I was admitted, but he handled it in a way that doesn’t put me on probation and no one can say I didn’t earn my grades. I still don’t quite understand why I couldn’t just come next semester, but it works.”
“Good. Then get some sleep because you aren’t even remotely a morning person and a complete dick when you have to be.”
She wasn’t wrong.