Chapter 14
Elena
I never had this kind of moment. A moment where he takes complete control of a situation and dominates me, taking my oxygen away from me.
And Gabriel isn’t making it easier for me by doing all of that because all of those things make everything in me go on overdrive and do something to my body that I didn’t know was possible.
His breathing becomes sloppy as he steps closer to me and I can feel the bulge of his pants on my stomach and the knot in my stomach tightens and I can feel my core pulse.
I press my thighs together to get any kind of friction going on there. I will not lie when I say that I had a fantasy of this and might have had an orgasm at the thought of him. He is making me do things I never thought were for me. I never think of a guy while I get myself off.
But he is making me do that.
This is so wrong.
I could potentially lose everything if anything between us goes wrong. Imagine if a ruined future flashes before my eyes about how hard life could turn out if I don’t stop him from getting closer. As much as I love kissing him, and even him railing me up, I can’t risk my future for feelings I have for my boss that will eventually pass.
I place my hand on his toned chest and push him away, taking much needed breaths. I breathe as if I have been holding my breath and am in need of oxygen. “We can’t.”
“Hmm.” He mumbles. He leans his forehead against me and we breathe the same air as our chests rise up and down at the same time in an uneven rhythm.
“This is so wrong.” I add.
“How can it be wrong when it feels so right, Lena?” Five times.
Why am I still keeping count?
But he is telling the truth.
Why does it feel so right when it is so wrong?
I silently groan at the situation I got myself in and the mess I created with developing feelings for my boss and even agreeing to this stupid agreement. I melt into the touch of his hands that he keeps on my cheeks. It doesn’t even cross his mind to give me a moment to myself because it seems as if he is glued to me to the fact that he doesn’t move a centimetre.
My short nails hover over my fair skin and I glide it up and down my arm as if it will help to scratch my skin to build my anxiety down. It doesn’t. My eyes go back to Gabriel who is waiting for me to get my thoughts together.
Up and down. My eyes go up and down as he is just standing in front of me with the softest look on his face that I have ever seen. I can’t multitask, so trying to fight between looking into his eyes or his lips is a fight. The back of my eyes slowly start to hurt from the fast moving from my eyeballs. I stop. I take a much-needed deep breath and open my eyes again, deciding to look into his mesmerising grey eyes that caught my attention the first time we met. Dark and hiding so many secrets.
A knock on the door interrupts our staring moment.
“Co- come in!” I shout and push Gabriel away from me, feeling his warmth leaving me empty and cold?
The door slowly opens and I hear a dog walk in and Reneè shout out my name. “Lenaa. Your favourite friend is here!”
“Technically, you are my only friend.” I say as I straighten my trousers to seem presentable to my best friend. One wrong thing on me and she will notice right away that something just happened before she came in.
“How dare you leave Zanders out?” she gasps dramatically and walks in with a box of probably cupcakes in them and with Fluffy - yes, she named her dog Fluffy - on the leash.
“Right, Zanders. I forgot about him. Haven’t seen him in a while. Where is he?”
“Enjoying his time in Paris.” Jealousy coats her voice.
“Jealous much?”
“Of course, it’s Paris. The city of love.”
“Funny coming from you, you commitment phobe.”
She mocks me and places the cupcake down on the desk. “My favourite cupcakes.” I acknowledge.
“Miranda, Anna, and Lily are all at work today which means I don’t need to be there today and I have the day off. But I will need the money for these because these are our most expensive cupcakes.”
“That’s awesome. But I have work and don’t worry, I will give you your money back.” I remind her and take all my stuff from his desk and walk her to my office. I asked her to bring me some of her best-selling cupcakes one day to work so that I can sort of win over my co-workers' hearts because for some reason, they don’t like me that much.
“Just flash him your boobs and he will be compelled to let you take the afternoon off.”
“As funny that would be,” It would not be. “I already have the afternoon off because you and I are going dress shopping.”
“Uhh, what’s the occasion?”
“Venice.”
“Ughh.” she throws her head back in annoyance. “Don’t remind me of the fact that I won’t see you for two weeks. And you’ll be in Venice. We should go there sometimes together.”
“Let’s save money for the Singapore Grand Prix and then we can talk about other destinations.”
“Oh my god yes. I have looked at the prices and I don’t think we can afford Paddock Passes. The prices are really high.”
I press my lips into a thin line and direct her to the seat in front of me for her to sit down. “I wasn’t expecting us to be able to afford those.”
She agrees with me and crosses her arms over her chest, leans back on her seat. She stays silent there for a moment before her face lights up as if she just came up with a great idea.
Oh boy.
“Why don’t you ask your husband?”
“I was expecting a great idea.”
“How isn’t that a great idea? He is a billionaire.”
“I was hoping you’d say millionaire because he feels insulted by that.”
She points a finger at me. “Ohh. I should have.”
I nod. “Dress shopping. I will be done with work by one. I will not take a break today, which will give me more time to finish this stack of paperwork.” I grunt and hit the stack of folders next to me.
A delighted expression on my face. I’m kidding. I am everything but delighted.
“You seem happy to do that.” She comments, a smile on her face.
“I am.” I joke with a fake smile on my face.
“Do you want me to stay here for emotional support or shall I leave and come back at one?”
“Stay here.” I answer without a second thought, receiving a weird look from her.
Normally I would want her to leave but I do not want to end up in another situation with Gabriel where our tongues are down each other’s throats.
He is a good kisser though, and from what I felt he does have a big dick.
“Okay. What am I going to do for the next…” she counts the hours with her fingers. We do have a lot in common because I do that too. “Four hours.”
“Keep me company.”
“Can I talk to your fiancé?”
“No.” I shout. “He is busy.”
“Busy standing at the door and watching you?”
“What?” I panic and look up to actually find him there standing, a file in his hand and when he sees that I noticed him, he winks at me and walks right up to us.
The fake smile I put up when I saw him falls off and I look over to Reneè who smiles at me and wiggles her eyebrows at me.
I will murder her.
“Speaking of dress shopping.” He says as he places the folder down and I open it to sign it and hand it back over to him. I still don’t get why Gabriel always needs my signature for projects that I have no idea of. I panic before I look back into the folder, making sure I didn’t sign a marriage certificate. You can never be too sure.
He gives me a neutral look and reaches behind his hands and takes out his wallet. He searches through his wallet and pulls out a card and throws it on the desk.
Holy mother Teresa. It’s a black Amex.
“The pin is 3492. Buy yourself a pretty dress for me, darling.” He winks again and leaves the silent office with having left so many things around it. He turns around as he reaches the door.
“Wha- wha-?” I stutter as I stare at his card, his name and IBAN and what not. “What?” I shout out before he reaches the door, confusion written all over my face. “What do you want me to do with this?”
“Buy yourself a dress for Venice. Maybe check out the Maleny boutique I told you about.” He grins before he makes his way out of my office.
“Wait, Gabriel.” I shout after him. He peeks his head through the door. “I can’t accept this. And even if I did, you do know that the boutique only offers dresses five grand and up.”
“Money is spent well if it’s for you, love.” he shrugs his shoulders.
“Exc- Excuse me?” I stuttered again at his words that left me starstruck.
“I have paperwork to finish but have fun shopping.” He leaves the office and my mouth still hangs open. I hear Reneè chuckle next to me.
“Did I just hear that right but you did mention five grand and up and he said that?”
“Uh-huh.” I mumble, my mouth still open in shock and my eyes still haven’t left the closed door.
I hear a low hum coming from her followed by the clap of her hands. “I say let’s take advantage of that.” She takes the card from the stack of files and admires it, a huge smile on her face. “I have seen one of these before because my ex used to be a billionaire.” She mumbles the last sentence and clears her throat.
I get back into my consciousness and close my open mouth. “We will not take advantage of his money.” I argue with her and snatch the card away from her fingers. “It’s wrong.”
“it’s actually your right to do it if you have the chance. You know what they say. Your money is your money and his money is your money.”
“As much as I love that quote, my answer is no.”
“You are so weird. Do not be like those kind of girls in books that decline the chance to spend the billionaires money because they think it is wrong.”
“Because it is.”
“Stop being such a pushover.”
“I am not a pushover.”
“You are.”
“How am I a pushover?”
“No offence.” She starts and I cut her off.
“Which means I will take offence to it because you are going hard core on me.”
“Yes but you are the worst person ever. You might seem nice and all yes and you are but you are too nice. You let people walk all over you and never and I mean never take advantage of these kinds of situations.”
“What does that have to do with being a pushover?”
“A lot. So, stop being a pushover and spend the money he says you can.” She lightly bangs against the table. I raise my eyebrow at her. “I will not apologise for that because that will mean I attracted the people pleaser disease from you and I cannot have that.”
“Got it.” I point my thumbs up and rub the spot where she banged her hand on.
“I didn’t break it, don’t worry.”
“No but the table is fragile and you are strong.”
“What kind of table is that?”
“A fragile one.” ??
***
I am being held at gunpoint.
Figuratively, not for real because I would be dead by now if it were a real gun. I would run my mouth about how nervous I am and cry until my makeup smeared all over my cheeks and the shooter would just shoot me dead and who would tell my poor mum and dad that her daughter was murdered because she has a big mouth. She would lecture me in hell for talking too much.
Fun imagination if you ask me. Not that she would be in hell but I would.
But seriously, the one person holding me at gunpoint is my one and only best friend Reneè.
And Zanders who Reneè called on Facetime because he is free now and she wants to talk to him and lecture him for rubbing Paris in her face because of all the pictures he posts in his social media.
Most of them are sponsored. She is mad that he is doing his job. I love it when they fight.
“I am telling you the green one doesn’t go. I know it is your favourite colour and all but don’t.”
I turn on the circle cut out platform and watch myself in the mirror, admiring the satin light green dress that melted into my curves and perfectly complements me.
“But it is either that or the white one and I am not getting married for me to wear white.”
“No one fucking cares if you wear white because they will all be too busy spending their money in art exhibit there.”
“I know but you know what I mean. I would stand out.”
“You are not that special.” She comments.
I turn my head to her and gasp dramatically. “Rude.”
“Rude.” Zanders comments on the phone. She tsks at him and turns the phone to her, facing the camera away from me and holding it close to her face. “Goodbyeee.” She says in a baby voice and hangs up the phone.
“I know it’s rude - God forbid I cannot be honest to you but seriously. No one cares. And you said that the jewellery he bought you which by the way are from the Sofia Calvetti brand are pink. And expensive. Sometimes I wish I had said yes to his proposal for his money.” she lets out a huff. I laugh at her and shake my head at her.
I step down from the platform and get back in the wardrobe, dramatically closing the curtain in front of her.
“Do you think I should text her back?” She shouts from behind the curtain and I scrunch my eyebrows together in confusion. I peek my head through the curtain.
“Who?”
She lets out a laugh. “You sound like an owl. Who?” She mocks me. “Nora. The girl I have been talking to.”
My eyes widened at her words. “Hold on a moment. Let me put on the dress really quickly and I will be out in a moment.”
Closing the curtains, I hurry and I step out of the green dress and hang it up again and get into the white one that Reneè suggested. It is a similar style as the green one but just in white, obviously. I close the zipper on the side, lift up the skirt of the dress and sprint out of the wardrobe to the empty sofa next to her.
“Okay now you can go.” I tell her, completely out of breath.
I slurp on the champagne the lady gave us while Reneè tells me all about that Nora girl she has been talking to.
“She is a beauty, but a moment of truth. She doesn’t seem like your type.”
“You sound homophobic.”
“Wha- Hey! I have been your biggest ally ever since you came out sophomore year and even got you on multiple dates with girls from my classes. You cannot say that I haven’t been your biggest supporter.”
“Oh yeah. My whore phase was fun back then.” She lets out a low laugh and scroll through Nora’s Instagram and shows me more pictures of her.
“I wouldn't call it a whore phase. More like exploring your type.”
“Nah, definitely a whore phase. I had sex with all of them. I even caught chlamydia because of one of them.”
“Oh. Which one?”
“No idea. I never hooked up with any of them again.”
“Not even Sara?”
She dramatically turns her head to me and a weird expression covers her face. “God no. She was the worst of them. Her boob job was so bad and it was hard. I am not saying anything to girls getting boob jobs, I would too but hard boobs?” Her expression twists into confusion and she scrunches her nose.
“You mean the boobs and not the nipples?”
She nods.
“How hard?” I ask. I have never been more intrigued in someone's sex life than Reneé’s.
Her sex life is a mess and this conversation gives me a deja vu feeling of when we were back in college, sitting in our dorm beds with our pyjamas or sometimes even just in our underwear and a t-shirt.
Good old times.
The time before we had to get back to reality. Life.
“Okay, real question. I have had that question in mind since college and I just need to let it out.” I tell her and her eyes leave her phone and she gives me her full attention while messages keep flowing on her device. “If you had to date me or Zanders, who would you choose?”
she gapes her mouth open in an ‘O’ shape. “Do you think I should break it off with her?” She changes the subject and my mouth falls open.
Traitor. How dare she?
“What?”
She groans. “Okay, fine. Neither. Hard truth. You are not my type.”
“Wha- but Nora is. She is literally a copy and paste of me.” I argue with her and I have to be honest if she is disrespecting me like that.
“I- That is different.” She argues back, her voice pitching high.
“How?”
“Well, first in comparison to you, she is gay.”
“And? I asked if you would date me. Not that I would actually do it.”
“What?”
“You can insult me and I can’t?”
“Sounds homophobic if you ask me.”
“Oh my god. Fine. I will never ask you something like that again.” I yell at her and the receptionist clears her throat in the distance. “Sorry.” I apologise.
We stay there in silence for a moment, both of us with our arms crossed and not speaking a word. “I knew you like Zanders more than me.”
I know I am being petty and that they have known each other longer but I have been there. Through everything and I call it bullshit that she would choose him over me.
“Oh my god.” She groans, throwing her head back. “I like neither of you. Let me explain it to you. I like people I am attracted to. You know, people I feel like are pulling me like a magnet to them and I want to just smash them against the wall and have the hottest make out session ever. I don’t want to do that with you because I see you as my best, best friend.”
“Oh.”
“Do you get it now?”
I nod in understanding but the one sentence she said keeps snagging the worst space in my brain. Do I have that feeling with Gabriel? “What do you mean by magnet?”
She clears her throat, shut her phone, and turns to me.
“It’s like that with me so I don’t know how it is with you but how I see my attraction to people, how I mentioned it - is like a magnet. I am the magnet and they are the magnetic field. They are this special magnetic field that pulls me to them and makes us want them. Picture normal magnets. If you put plus and plus together they don’t collide. That is, you and me. But if you put plus and minus together, they pull each other closer and collide.”
“Are you saying you and I are the same?”
“Girl. We are. You are just shy but if you weren’t. I bet you would be freaky. I bet you even are.”
“Me? Freaky?” My voice pitches high as I repeat her words. I wave off her assumption. ”No…”
She raises an eyebrow at me and shuts me up real fast because I cannot lie to her. I would not say I am freaky. Just like specific things in bed.
“What kind of stuff are you into, freak?”
“Do you really believe this is the right place to talk about that?”
“It’s now or never and by the amount of champagne you gulped down, you will have no struggles saying anything.”
“I didn’t have that much.” I argue with her.
“You had four glasses.”
“Really?” I take my glass from the little table between us. I lift up the glass and look through it like a magnifying glass. The bubbles of the drink swim up to the surface and pop at the top.
Shit.
“Spill the tea.”
“No. At least not here.” I mumble the last bit of my answer and like the shot of a gun she jumps up from her seat and hurries me to take off the dress and pay so that I can spill anything about my sex life. I have never done that and that might be the biggest reason she is all ears to hear. Reneè is the most sex positive person I have ever met and would never judge anyone for what they like in the bedroom.
The exact opposite. She encourages people to try things they haven’t and explore their likes and hates in the bedroom department. If you ask me she would be suited better as a sex therapist or something like that than a baker but whatever makes her happy and baking seems to give her the kick of happiness.