F*ck It

1. Chapter One

Chapter One

You have twenty-four hours to decide if you want to go out with me again tomorrow.

That was the very first message I received from Tom, my husband, back in December of 1999 after our first night out.

It was supposed to be a casual night out with a few of my schoolmates. I didn’t expect to meet the love of my life that night.

I was twenty-one. He was a year older and so much cooler than me. I was the shy, reserved girl with the perfect grades and virtually no friends, always eager to please, and desperate to fit in. Tom was the outgoing, popular guy with tons of friends and the one who was always down for anything.

He had a wide social circle he introduced me to. I had only my sister as company. Born and raised to be good Christian girls, we went to church and were instructed to always turn the other cheek if someone wronged us.

Tom looked different from boys his age and even though he wasn’t my type, with his gangly frame and piercing gaze, he had a gentleness and nobility that made him stand out.

I liked him. I liked how he made me feel noticed every time we were together, so, when he asked me to become his girlfriend that Christmas Eve, I said yes. And just like that, he became my first boyfriend. And he knew what he was doing, slowly sweeping me off my feet until I couldn’t resist him anymore.

I had told him I was a virgin, of course, we had made a promise to always be honest with each other. It was like he was on a mission to fulfill my every wish. And I fell for him. Hard. Not from the beginning, but slowly, as I got to know him. It’s amazing how everything looks and feels different when you’re in love and are loved back. He gave that to me in spades, loving me back with a passion so fierce it made me wonder how I was ever living without him.

I will never forget how he loved to go down on me every chance he got, smother me with kisses and caresses while we were in public, or how his eyes glowed when he told me that he’d wait patiently until I was ready for him to make love to me.

I held on to my virginity for seven months before I finally decided he was the one. I don’t remember much of the warm summer night we first made love, but I remember how overwhelmed I was to finally feel him inside me. I remember how we struggled to fit inside the back seat of my car, and I remember how tears started rolling down my cheeks while he was inside me, trying to make me feel as comfortable as possible in the cramped space.

After that, we were inseparable. He owned my heart, my body, and my soul and I thanked God every day for bringing him my way. When he asked me to marry him after he finished his studies in electrical engineering, I was the happiest girl on the planet. We were finally going to live together.

I was over the moon.