Chapter 2 #2
“It’ll stop feeling weird once you call her.”
Michelle huffed.
Cassidy raised her eyebrows.
“You’re just like Mom,” Michelle said.
“What?”
“Do you always have to make so much sense?”
Cassidy laughed so hard she had to hold her sides.
“What?” Michelle asked. “Cassidy! I’m serious!”
Cassidy coughed as she laughed. “I know. That’s what makes it funny.”
A rap on the doorframe pulled Cassidy’s attention from Michelle.
“Sorry if I’m interrupting,” Alex said.
“You’re not,” Michelle said. “I have a meeting in ten minutes, anyway.”
Alex smiled.
“I’ll catch up with you later,” Michelle told Cassidy.
“Not if I catch up to you first.”
Michelle shook her head. “I got the message, Cass.”
Cassidy smiled.
“What was that about?” Alex asked.
“Nothing related to national security,” Cassidy replied lightly.
Alex flopped into the large chair in the corner of Cassidy’s office.
“Okay, Alex. Spill.”
“Can’t I just stop by to see my wife?”
“Yes. But you don’t usually walk into my office looking like someone ate all your tacos.”
Alex laughed. “I’m fine.”
“You’re full of shit,” Cassidy said, rising to close the door. She leaned against her desk. “Spill it.”
“Mom came over while I was working.”
“And?”
“She always defends my father, Cassidy.”
Cassidy nodded.
“It’s indefensible!”
“What is?”
“What he did. What he was doing. The money he moved to fund wars and assassinations. To?—”
“Alex,” Cassidy interrupted gently. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“I realize you didn’t know him well.”
“Listen, give your mom a little credit.”
Alex groaned.
“If you can’t give her that, give her some grace.”
Alex blinked.
“Your dad was the love of her life.”
“Who cheated on her.”
Cassidy sighed.
“I’m sorry,” Alex said. “I know she’ll never see him for who he was.”
Cassidy nodded once.
“Don’t tell me you think my mom is right.”
“I think we both know our parents’ pasts are more complicated than we’d like to believe.”
“It’s not an excuse.”
“No, it isn’t,” Cassidy agreed. Part of her wanted to dive deeper. Alex’s wounded expression stopped her. It would be good for Alex to spend time in Connecticut. And Cassidy looked forward to having some one-on-one time with Helen.
“You’re not going to argue with me?” Alex asked.
“Do you want to argue?”
“No. I just?—”
“I’m not about to tell you how you should feel about your father, Alex. I can barely sort out my feelings about mine,” Cassidy said. “For what it’s worth, your mother would never lie to you.”
Alex sighed. “I know.”
Cassidy smiled and went to Alex. “I know you’re nervous about this trip. It’s something you need, love.”
Alex nodded. “What are you going to do with your free week?”
Cassidy stepped back and blinked. Free week? Did Alex forget they still had four kids at home?
“Well?” Alex asked.
“I doubt any week with four children living at home qualifies as free.”
Alex chuckled.
“Your mom is staying at the house. I’ll spend some time with her,” Cassidy said. “And I think I managed to convince Candace to come over on Saturday for a few hours.”
“See? Free time.”
Cassidy rolled her eyes.
Alex leaned close and kissed her softly. “I’ll try to be home in time for dinner,” she said, getting to her feet.
Cassidy watched her go. “Free week?” She laughed. “I’d settle for a free minute.”
Westport, Connecticut
Eleana held back a chuckle as Claire shifted in her chair.
“You okay?” Eleana asked.
“Huh?”
“Claire?”
“Yeah. Sure. I’m okay.”
Eleana smiled. “You look like you’re waiting for someone to hand down a sentence.”
“I’m good.”
“Well,” Dr. Breslin said, smiling as she adjusted the monitor. “Let’s take a look.”
Eleana reached for Claire’s hand.
The doctor moved the wand over Eleana’s belly, pressing lightly, her gaze narrowing at the screen.
Claire sat forward. “What? Is she okay?”
Eleana turned her head slowly and looked at Claire.
Claire blinked. “What?”
“She?” Eleana asked softly.
Claire’s mouth opened, then closed. “I don’t know. I just…”
The doctor turned and smiled. “She looks nice and comfortable.”
Eleana looked back at the screen. “It’s a girl?”
“It’s not a boy,” Dr. Breslin replied lightly.
Claire’s face lit up. She stood and leaned over Eleana to get a better look. “That’s her?”
“That’s her,” Dr. Breslin said.
Claire stared at the screen as if she were trying to memorize every shadow and flicker. “She’s moving.”
“She is,” Eleana said softly.
Claire’s grip tightened around Eleana’s hand. “That’s wild.”
Eleana laughed. “Wild?”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. There’s like a person inside you, El.”
Eleana bit her lip to keep from laughing.
“What? What did I say?” Claire asked.
“There is,” the doctor agreed.
“I mean...” Claire shook her head and kept her eyes on the screen. The baby turned, moving in a slow, smooth roll that made the image shift. “She’s got feet.”
“She does,” Dr. Breslin said. “And hands.”
“Tiny ones.” Claire’s voice grew quiet in a way Eleana had only heard a few times before. It was the kind of quiet that meant something was happening behind the carefully maintained wall.
Claire studied the screen, mesmerized by the tiny person in black and white.
“Can you feel her?” Claire asked.
Eleana smiled. “Not yet.”
Claire looked at her curiously. “Seriously? She’s got feet, El! Don’t they kick?”
Dr. Breslin shared an amused glance with Eleana. “She’s still a little small for El to feel the movement.”
Claire’s brow creased. “Too small?”
“Not at all. All her measurements look excellent,” Dr. Breslin said, moving the wand slightly. “Heart rate’s right where we want it. Growth is tracking exactly on schedule. I would imagine you’ll start feeling her presence in a few weeks, maybe sooner.”
“Oh, El’s felt her presence. For a few weeks, I thought we were in the X-Files.”
Eleana laughed. “It wasn’t that bad.”
Claire shrugged and looked back at the screen. “We get a picture, right?”
“I’ll print you a few,” Dr. Breslin promised.
“My mom’s going to be so excited,” Claire said, more to herself than anyone else.
Eleana squeezed her hand.
Claire glanced at her. “What?”
“Nothing.”
Claire’s gaze softened, then she quickly looked back at the screen, as if meeting Eleana’s eyes for too long might reveal too much.
“She looks all squinched up in there.”
Dr. Breslin chuckled lightly. “I think your daughter is quite comfortable.”
Claire looked at the doctor, startled, then back at the screen. “Well, if she’s like her brother, she’ll want to stretch. He takes up an entire king-sized bed!”
Eleana watched Claire stare at the screen, all nervous energy and wonder, trying to make sense of something too big by wrapping it in her unique, colorful commentary.
It was one of the things Eleana loved most about her.
Claire didn’t always know how to put her feelings into words. But she showed them—in her questions, her jokes, and the way her thumb moved gently over Eleana’s knuckles while she kept her eyes on their daughter.
The thought nearly stole Eleana’s breath. It was almost too much for her to process.
“She needs a crib,” Claire said.
“Babe, we have a crib.”
“No. Eva has a crib.”
Dr. Breslin looked away to keep from laughing.
“By the time this baby arrives, Eva will be in a bed,” El said.
“And? You can’t make her share her sister’s crib, El. That’s just… I love Cass, but I wouldn’t want to sleep in her bed. It’s like leftovers. You can’t give a new kid leftovers.”
Eleana stared at her.
“What?” Claire asked.
Dr. Breslin cleared her throat, but the corners of her mouth twitched. “Well, before we figure out the crib, why don’t I get you those pictures?”
“Right,” Claire said. “Pictures. Yes. Good.”
Claire helped Eleana sit up, then glanced toward the machine as if it might change its mind and keep the photos.
“They take a second,” Eleana said.
“I know.”
“You’re staring at the printer.”
Dr. Breslin returned a moment later with several glossy black-and-white images. “Here you go.”
Claire accepted them carefully, suddenly reverent again. “She’s so small.”
“She won’t stay that way for long,” Eleana said,
Claire flipped through the photos, studying each one. “Mom is going to be so excited.”
Eleana smiled. “I’m sure she will be.”
Claire cleared her throat and handed Eleana the photos to put in her bag.
“I’ll let you get dressed,” Dr. Breslin said. “I’ll see you next month,” she said as she closed the door.
Eleana got off the exam table and pulled on her jeans, amused by the excited energy Claire was trying to hide. “Claire?”
“If you don’t want to tell anyone that it’s a girl?—”
“I don’t care who knows,” Eleana said. “Maybe you should call Cass on the way home.”
Claire shrugged. “That’s up to you.”
“Claire?”
“I think we should tell Ian and my parents first.”
Eleana smiled. “Okay,” she said, opening the door.
Claire followed her through. “But you probably want to call Helen. And maybe we should wait. I mean, we should—I mean, you should tell everyone together. Maybe have a party. Don’t they do that?”
Eleana chuckled softly as she walked toward the exit.
“El?” Claire asked when they reached the parking lot. “It’s okay if you want to?—”
Eleana turned to Claire and shook her head. “Claire, my parents are gone.”
“I—”
Eleana pressed a finger to Claire’s lips. “I’ll call Helen on the way home. I’d like to tell her. She’s the closest thing I have to a mom.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“But then I think we should tell everyone at home. Grandparents and siblings get to know before aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends.”
“I just want?—”
“Let’s go home and tell everyone about our daughter,” Eleana said, starting toward the car again.
Claire stopped just short of the car.
“Claire?”
Claire stood frozen.
Eleana smiled. “Let’s go. Your daughter is hungry, and so is your fiancé.”
Claire took a breath and nodded. She opened the car and slid into the driver's seat. “I think we should stop and get donuts.”
“Donuts?”
“Yeah. You know that donut shop on Main Street?”
“Uh-huh.”
“They have blueberry and strawberry donuts. I know because Alex always wanted to stop there in the morning. She likes the ones with frosting inside. Don’t tell Cass. We used to sneak them to Kenzie.”