Chapter 11 #2
Alex pulled her into a corner. "Okay. No more bullshit. What's this about?"
"I just... I spent time in there — in here. You know? And Candace is just..."
"She's just what?"
"Different."
"Different how?"
"Can we just go?"
"No," Alex said. "I need you not to freak out every time you see Candace."
"It's not Candace."
Alex blinked.
"It's President Reid," Claire said.
Alex sighed. She sometimes forgot the depth of what Claire had shared with John Merrow — or maybe she chose to forget. The truth was, the people closest to her all moved through each other's lives like overlapping tides, leaving behind tangled lines of affection and regret.
She'd felt it herself, sharper than expected, when Hawk and Claire first got together.
Not longing. She hadn't been in love with Hawk, but she had loved her.
And Claire... Claire mattered more than Alex liked to admit, even now.
They'd each nudged the other toward something like more honesty — toward Cassidy, and El, and toward facing things they each preferred to bury.
But John Merrow had done that too. Jim had told her once how much John had seen in Claire — past the arrogance, past the damage. He'd seen someone worth saving. Someone who might surprise everyone. Alex had seen it too, and then deliberately looked away.
All these connections lay quietly between them, felt but unspoken.
This building, the office, maybe even Candace herself — they weren't just reminders of power.
They were echoes of John. And for Claire, they also traced the road she'd walked to get here.
Painful turns. Frightening turns. Worse, lonely ones.
Alex softened. "Claire."
Claire looked away. "Don't."
"I didn't say anything."
"You're thinking something."
"I'm always thinking something."
"Unfortunate for everyone."
Alex smiled. "Candace isn't John."
"I know that."
"She isn't measuring you against anyone — or the past."
Claire's eyes moved back to Alex.
"That's the problem, isn't it?" Alex asked.
Claire shook her head.
Alex nodded once. "Yeah."
"Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"See things."
Alex almost laughed. "You're mad at me for seeing things?"
"Frequently."
"Fair."
Claire crossed her arms. "It's not that I don't trust her."
Alex leaned against the wall. "I know."
"I'm not here because she wants something from me."
"Claire, I don't think John was using you."
"He was."
Alex sighed.
"Come on, Alex. Let's just be honest. Things have changed since we met. Maybe we have changed."
"We have."
Claire nodded. "But what's required of us — it often demands that we use people — people we care about. That's why we're called assets — not people."
Alex wanted to argue. She wanted to. She didn't. Claire was right.
"Candace isn't like that," Claire said.
Alex nodded.
"She's not part of this — whatever this thing is our families started."
Alex waited.
"Maybe I should say she wasn't part of it. I don't know. John meant something to me. He didn't lie to me. And he tried to... well, he tried to warn me. Not control me. Just..."
"I understand."
"I don't want to let the president down."
Alex smiled.
"You know, he wanted her to be his vice president," Claire said.
"Yeah. I know."
"If she had been? If Candace had been vice president? I don't think my father would have had John killed."
Whatever Alex thought Claire might say, this wasn't it.
"It's true," Claire said. "Candace doesn't answer to anyone — not in our world. She doesn't take orders or 'directives' from people like my father or yours. She's in control, but she doesn't use people."
Alex studied Claire for a moment. "She does."
Claire's eyes snapped to hers.
"She does," Alex repeated. "All leaders do."
"That's not what I mean."
"I know what you mean."
"Do you?"
"Yeah." Alex leaned more heavily against the wall. "She asks. Even if it is actually a demand — she asks. And she listens."
Claire sighed. "It makes it harder, Alex."
"Yeah, I guess it does."
"I worry."
"About?"
"People in our business? They like predictability. She's a wildcard, Alex."
Alex laughed. "Don't tell her that."
Claire's face paled.
Alex laughed harder.
"I'm glad you're amused."
"Nah. I get it. More than you think I do. Candace has always understood the stakes — not for herself or for some organization. For her kids. For people." Alex shook her head. "The thing is, Claire, you and I aren't so different."
"Uh-huh. If you count the lesbian thing. And the spy thing."
Alex rolled her eyes.
"Not what I meant."
"But true."
Alex shook her head. "Quit trying to avoid a real conversation."
Claire groaned.
"What I mean is we both told ourselves stories about why we went into this business. What our mission was. You wanted to please your father — then you wanted to dethrone him. That's what you always say."
"Yeah. And you?"
"I always say I wanted to serve something bigger than myself."
Claire nodded. "You should put that on a T-shirt."
"Claire."
"Okay. Sorry. Go on."
"I think it's partly true. What we told ourselves. The larger truth is that we like the challenge. And it gave us a place to avoid certain things."
"You mean like feelings?"
Alex shrugged.
Claire huffed. "Maybe."
"No maybe."
"I just don't want to mess up again," Claire said.
"You will. Not in the same way."
"Gee thanks."
Alex chuckled. "I will, too... if it's any consolation."
"Strangely, it is."
Alex rolled her eyes and pushed off the wall. "Let's go," she said. "We have a former First Lady to find, and a dead man who needs an apartment."
Claire snorted. "Sounds easy enough."
"Try not to say that in the Oval," Alex said.
Claire followed her. "No promises."
Cassidy turned and collided right into Joshua.
"Sorry," he said.
She smiled. "How are you holding up?"
He sighed. "I don't know what to think, Cassidy. She asked for space. What can I say? Finding out about her father just... she hasn't been herself since."
"I understand."
He groaned. "Ah, hell, Cassidy. I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
"I saw Alex with Claire earlier," he said.
Cassidy smiled. She knew that Alex intended to keep Joshua in the dark about her plans—the plan to bring Nika Kapralov closer and that she'd reached out to Pete Ferro. She also knew Alex was about to make some bold suggestions to Candace.
She didn't like secrecy.
Secrets led to lies.
And lies led to more secrets.
"I don't know where Jane is," he said.
Cassidy took a breath. "I know."
"I'm not sure Alex believes me."
"I don't think Alex knows what to believe. And you know her well enough to know she keeps all her options open."
"I do," he said. "Cassidy?—"
Cassidy sighed. "I don't know what to think, either," she said.
"I don't think she went to the ski slopes."
Cassidy nodded.
"You were close to her. Before we?—"
Cassidy smiled softly. "She's one of my closest friends. But there is one thing I have learned, Joshua."
"What's that?"
"In this life? This world of constant secrecy? You can't always be sure that the person you know is the only person someone is."
He flinched. Just slightly. Enough that she noticed.
She touched his arm and smiled. "I need to find Shell."
"Cassidy?"
Cassidy turned back.
"Do you think she's coming back?"
Cassidy shook her head. "I don't know. I hope so."
Alex and Claire reached the foyer of the Oval Office.
"Director Toles," Susan said.
"Hi, Susan."
"Major Brackett," she said. "I know the First Lady was pleased to hear you'd be visiting."
The formality surprised Claire.
She smiled.
Alex was pretty sure she saw Claire blush—just a little.
"She is in with HHS and the Director of the CDC," Susan explained. "They should be wrapping up."
"Problems?" Alex asked.
"I don't think so," Susan replied. "At least none that have made me sound the witch warning."
Claire looked at Alex.
"Ask Shell," Alex said.
The door to the Oval Office opened, and Candace's voice filtered into the foyer.
"Have Luke set something up for us to meet with Senator Wyatt."
Deborah Thomson laughed. "Byron Wyatt isn't my biggest fan."
"Well, he isn't mine either—if you watch cable news," Candace said. "He's a pain in the ass. He also knows a thing or two about our agricultural challenges."
Deborah saw Alex and smiled. "Alex."
"Deb."
"Sorry if we ran over," Deborah said.
Alex shook her head.
Candace smiled. "We'll speak after the holidays."
Deborah nodded. "Have a nice Christmas, Madam President."
"Enjoy the break," Candace replied, turning her attention to Alex. "Well, come in. We don't stand on ceremony here."
Claire chuckled.
Candace and Alex looked at her.
"You kind of do," Claire said.
"Do?" Candace asked.
"Stand on ceremony."
Candace laughed. "I suppose we do."
"Everything okay?" Alex asked.
Candace sighed, kicked off her heels, and sat on the sofa. "You mean other than the fact that a former First Lady is missing, I'm inviting the former—dead—Russian president to Washington, and these torture contraptions have given me blisters?"
Alex bit back a grin.
"Things are great," Candace said. "We seem to have a new bug to deal with."
"Like a virus?" Alex asked.
"No. A bug. A fly, from what I understand. It's wreaking havoc in Mexico. Too cold to tell how invasive or destructive it might be here."
"That doesn't sound good," Alex said.
"No. But it's something we deal with more frequently given the flow of trade. Containers often carry unintended hitchhikers," Candace said.
"Or someone decided to give them a lift," Claire commented.
Candace and Alex looked at her.
"What?" Claire asked. "What did I say?"
"Interesting observation," Candace said.
"I'm just saying, they might be traveling on a first-class ticket."
"Claire, not everything is a conspiracy," Alex said.
"No. But there are a lot of ways to infiltrate an adversary, Alex. All I'm saying is it wouldn't be the first time."
"Go on," Candace said.