Stay
Demons soak into the earth, being dragged back to Hell, where they belong. A few tombstones are overturned, the aftermath of yet another run-in with evil.
Except this time, it wasn’t a sanctioned fight, and that truth alone could put me in front of the Divine Council for crimes against God. I managed to escape that fate once, but I’m pushing my luck.
“You came,” a masculine voice speaks from between two mausoleums. As he steps out under the moonlight, his face is illuminated, and my breath catches at the sight.
He’s more handsome than I remembered, standing here in a simple pair of gym shorts and a black T-shirt. He’s tall and lean, a work of art.
“What are you doing in a cemetery at night?”
“I am visiting an old friend,” he explains, stepping closer to me. “It’s peaceful at night. Nobody around to distract me.”
I sit, trying to regain my strength. Battling six demons took a lot out of me. I typically have my brothers at my back, but tonight, I came alone. Because he called out for me.
“Why did you call for me?” I ask, looking out the corner of my eye at him.
He takes a seat next to me, spreading his muscular legs out in front of him and leaning back on his elbows.
“I found myself in need of help,” he said, sucking in his cheek, giving away the lie.
I raise my eyebrows in challenge, and he grins.
“Okay, so it’s a little more than that,” he admits, and I can’t keep the smile off my face.
“Well?” I press, wanting him to say what’s on his mind, hoping there’s more to it than him simply needing help but knowing how wrong it is that I hope for such things.
“I can’t stop thinking about you, Victoria,” he says, turning toward me. “I’m going crazy.”
My eyes close, savoring the way I feel at his admission. Too good. Too happy.
Foolish.
I let out a breath and open my eyes. “This is crazy. I don’t even know your name. Yet I come running when you call out mine. This is dangerous. You know that, right?”
He grabs my hand, placing it in his lap, and the strangest sensation washes over me. My stomach is in a freefall, chills racing across my skin.
“Luke,” he says, so softly I almost miss it.
“What?” My head snaps to him.
“Call me Luke.” He smiles coyly, as though it’s not something he shares with a lot of people.
I know that’s not the case. Humans throw their names around like it’s no big deal, because on Earth, it isn’t.
Perhaps Luke’s current manner is a result of remorse, because he recognizes the position he’s put me in.
My name is sacred, and anyone other than celestial beings having possession of it is forbidden.
That ship’s sailed. He does know my name and he did use it. Even if that’s wrong, I don’t want to think about it while I’m here with him. He’s shared something with me, and I’m going to cherish that for the rest of my existence, because nobody has ever shared anything with me.
“Luke,” I say, testing the name out and loving the way it rolls off my tongue.
The quiet of the cemetery washes over us, but it’s not unnerving in the least. Crickets chirp and the leaves on the trees rustle, creating a soothing melody that calms me for the first time in centuries.
I could stay here forever with Luke at my side, and that reality is what finally has me snapping out of the fantasy I’ve allowed to play out for far too long.
“I have to go,” I say, attempting to stand, but Luke pulls me down.
I trip and land on top of him. He rolls me so that I’m under him, breathing heavily and looking up into his deep green eyes, wanting things I shouldn’t for the first time in my entire existence, with a human I’ve met only twice.
His eyes roam my face, and I squirm under his intense scrutiny.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispers, cupping my cheek in his hand. I lean into his touch, basking in his compliment, never wanting this moment to end. “You’ve bewitched me, Victoria. I don’t know how to move on from this feeling.”
I turn away from his passionate gaze, cheeks heating.
I’m probably caked in demon blood, and that thought makes me self-conscious, a sentiment entirely foreign to me.
My hand runs back through my hair, trying desperately to tame the errant wisps that escape my braid, wishing I’d spent a little extra time putting myself together today.
Never have I worried about such trivial things.
He rolls off, lying beside me on the ground, looking up at the stars overhead.
I refuse to think about who could be looking down to see this. I’m going to enjoy what little time I have left here with Luke, because it’ll be the last time I see him. I know this can’t happen again, no matter how badly I wish otherwise. I don’t want to leave, and that’s a very big problem.
His fingers graze mine, and I can’t help but interlace mine with his.
We lie there in the dark quiet of the night for what feels like hours.
Words aren’t necessary, as his touch tells me everything I need to know about the man beside me.
He’s gentle, capable of love, and he would be all mine if only it were possible.
As if sensing the direction of my wayward thoughts, he speaks, “I can’t hide how I feel, Victoria. I want to know you better.”
I huff. “That’s impossible, Luke. It’s forbidden for a reason.”
He sits up, turning toward me. “What if I were to need your assistance again?”
I eye him skeptically. “Playing with fire.”
Those piercing green eyes seem to dance. “For you, I’d walk right through it,” he declares, leaning over me and placing a kiss on my temple. “Tell me I can see you again.”
The answer is simple. No is the only word that should slip from my lips. We can’t do this; it’ll only bring trouble to both of us. If for no other reason, I need to protect him. But that’s not what comes out.
“I-I’ll try,” I lie, knowing it’s a promise I can’t keep.
Luke frowns, as if he knows I’m simply placating him.
“Will you stay with me for a few more minutes?” he asks, sounding far away.
I squeeze his hand in answer, not wanting the moment to end. If I could stay forever, I would.
My eyes flutter open, and I sigh at the memory. Two nights in a row, Luke has commanded my dreams, and as much as I want to lie and say I hate it, I don’t. A part of me will always crave him, because he wills it so. That’s exactly why I need to keep Zeke at arm’s length.
I roll to my side, taking in the sleeping form of the fallen angel next to me. His dark blond hair is matted to his forehead. My hand comes up and swipes the errant strands away, wishing I didn’t have to complicate things.
“You’re awake,” his deep, groggy voice says with a hint of a smile to it.
“I had a nightmare.”
It’s not a complete lie. That memory might’ve been one to hold on to if it were anyone other than Luke it had been shared with.
“What’s going on in that head of yours, pretty girl?”
I sigh. “Too heavy a conversation for this early in the morning,” I admit wearily. “But one we definitely need to have soon.”
Zeke props himself up on one elbow, looking down at me with concern. “Trust me, Tori. Tell me your secrets.”
He has no idea what he’s asking for. The truth will send him packing. He might’ve fallen, but my story is too much for even him to handle.
Trust him.
If I tell him and he runs away, then I can get back to life, hunting and being utterly alone. Or I could confide in someone for the first time, and maybe he’ll understand. Maybe he’ll still choose to stick around.
I don’t say a word, lifting myself from the bed and heading to the single-serve coffee machine sitting on a desk in the corner.
I’m not much of a coffee drinker, but every now and then it’s necessary.
This is one of those times. I can’t make decisions about sharing my deepest secrets while I’m still half asleep.
I can only hope it’ll buy me time to think.
Thankfully, Zeke gives me the space I need, not saying a word. I go about making the coffee, carrying out the mundane steps needed to start the machine. All the while, I can feel his eyes burning a hole into my back. I don’t dare turn around.
I stretch my arms up over my head, stretching out the kinks. Maybe I can distract him enough that once my coffee is done, the subject will be changed to sex. Seems like a great change.
“Tori.” My name’s drawn out in a scold as though Zeke read my mind. “Stop avoiding.”
Luck is not on my side, apparently.
“I’m making coffee, Zeke. Can’t you just be patient?” I call out over my shoulder, not actually making eye contact with him. I’m such a damn chicken.
He grunts but doesn’t say another word, and for that I’m thankful.
The machine beeps, signaling my coffee’s done and time’s up. I take the piping-hot mug from under the dispenser and turn slowly. My eyes connect with Zeke and I take a sip, trying to buy myself even more time.
“Gah!” I screech as the entirety of the inside of my mouth is scorched from the far-too-hot liquid that’s now spilling onto my hand. “Ahh!”
I slam the cup down on the counter, grabbing a rag and covering my hand.
“Come here,” he says, motioning to the spot next to him.
My tongue moves across the roof of my burned mouth, feeling the bubbled top and wishing I hadn’t been such an idiot.
“Tori. Come sit.”
I expel a breath, making my way to the bed and taking a seat.
“Are you okay?” Zeke places his hand on my cheek, looking deeply into my eyes.
I sigh at his touch and the gentleness in his tone.
No matter how far I try to run, he’s always there to make me second-guess my actions.
He’s shown me in so many ways just how much he cares.
He’s the one person I can trust, and there’s a large part of me begging to confess my sins to receive absolution.
Deciding to put my faith in Zeke, I take a deep breath and dive in.
“During a battle on Earth, I stumbled across a woman who was badly injured in the cross fire. There was a man with her.” I pause, taking another breath, and forge ahead. “He asked me to intervene. He knew what I was, Zeke, and it didn’t scare him.”
“He asked you to save his wife?” Zeke’s eyes are narrowed, giving away the fact he likely already knows the answer.
I shake my head. “They were together, but not … together. She was a single mom.”
“So you helped her?”
“I did. But that’s not even the worst of it. He asked my name, and I gave it to him.”
Zeke’s eyes widen. “Why would you do that? You know how serious that is.”
“You’re right. I did know. But it didn’t stop me. I gave it willingly, and I only just barely regretted it.” I tell the truth, because why lie? If I’m going to come clean, no sense in leaving out the minor details.
“Why didn’t you care, Tori?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. At least … I’m not sure why that first time didn’t shake me.”
“There were more times?”
I chew on my lip, not loving his accusatory tone.
“I’m sorry. I’m just … surprised.”
“Yeah, well, it surprised me too.”
“So, let me get this straight. You gave your name to a human, and he used it every time he found himself in harm’s way.”
“Sort of,” I say, trying to skirt the whole truth. I’m not ready to divulge it all to him, despite my early confidence. His reactions have me backpedaling that notion. Baby steps.
“Sort of,” he repeats.
“In truth, he only called out my name twice. Once was for help, and another was just to see me.”
“Let me guess—the mortal fell for the angel,” he said, lips turned up into a knowing smile. “Can’t say I blame him.”
I lower my head, feeling small under the weight of Zeke’s stare. He doesn’t seem surprised or bothered by any of it, and that has me questioning what his story is.
Or I could just be satisfied that he’s not running.
My conscience can be such a condescending brat.
“The question is, did you fall for him?”
It’s the one question I knew he’d ask but hoped he wouldn’t. Isn’t it obvious? I fell from Heaven. For what other reason, given my story, would I choose that fate? This isn’t him not knowing. This is him wanting me to say it out loud. Needing me to admit my greatest sin.
“Yes,” I say, so quietly Zeke has to lean in to hear.
He whistles, and I glare at his reaction.
“I had my suspicions, but I never saw you being the type.”
I bristle at his words. “The type?” I grate.
“Sweetheart, stop. I don’t mean it like that. It’s just you’ve always been such an independent woman. It’s hard for me to hear that another man was enough to make you give everything up.” He sits up, back against the headboard. “If I’m being honest, I hate that a guy had so much hold over you.”
His deep frown and his arms crossed tightly over his chiseled chest give him away.
“You’re jealous,” I accuse, not able to mask my smile.
“Hell yes, I’m jealous.”
I lean over and place a kiss on his mouth. “Trust me, the joke was on me.”
Zeke relaxes, dropping his arms to his sides. “Will you tell me what happened?”
I groan but relent. “One night after I left him, I found Michael waiting for me back in Heaven. He dragged me in front of the council, and I was put on trial. They ruled that I gave my name. I argued it was given only under duress from the battle I’d just fought, and that the human had used it against me.
They rejected my argument but spared me damnation.
God stripped me of my rapier and banned me from fighting on Earth. ”
“Woah, that’s … surprising. I’m shocked you weren’t banished right then and there.”
“If I had been one of the weaker angels, I probably would’ve been.”
Zeke winced, and I realized my mistake. He was one of those weaker angels.
“I’m sorry, Zeke. I didn’t mean it.”
He shook his head. “Don’t apologize for speaking truth, Tori.” He may have waved off my apology, but his tone was laced with bitterness. “Tell me how you ended up falling.”
I want to refuse based on his current mood, but instead, I allow the words to spill out.
“He was in danger and called my name. Having had it stripped from me, I didn’t feel the pull to go because of otherworldly powers. This time, I chose it all on my own,” I admit, lowering my head in shame. “I fell because I loved him, and I couldn’t allow him to die.”
“Love, then,” Zeke says, a hint of sadness underlining his words.
“At that time, I thought so.”
We sit in quiet contemplation for some time. I think back on all the moments that led up to that night. My brothers’ stern talks after my trial, warning me to fear the fall. Looking back, it’s almost like they knew it was inevitable but didn’t attempt to sway me.
If only one of them had shaken me and forced me to see the truth that I had been missing. I was about to fall for someone who could never truly love me back.
Zeke feels miles away, and I wonder if I’ve just put myself in a similar situation. Zeke might want me, but love is something else entirely. It isn’t an emotion that one chooses, knowing how harshly it can tear you apart when it’s gone.
No matter what happens between Zeke and me, this time, it won’t break me. That was already accomplished with the fall.