You’re Somebody Else
YOU’RE SOMEBODY ELSE
My back slams against the cold concrete building in a dark alley outside of the bar we just left.
A bar. Who am I even?
Luke’s tongue begs entrance to my mouth, and I give it willingly, moaning in response to his expert abilities. I don’t want to even think about how much experience he’s had to provoke such pleasure.
Luke holds my hips pressed against him as his tongue massages mine.
I love the feeling. All of the intense emotions felt here on Earth are overwhelming.
Every touch I feel to my bones. Every kiss sends my stomach free-falling.
I’m on the verge of tears and I have absolutely no idea why.
Pure joy is the only explanation I have.
This night is everything I never thought I needed but wouldn’t be without now that I’ve experienced it. It’s been all I hoped for. What I fell for.
We spent the night dancing, bodies pressed tightly together, our lips fused, cementing our budding relationship.
Budding. I laugh to myself. We’re so far past that. It’s as if I’ve known Luke my entire life. He makes me feel things that I never thought possible.
“I’m never letting you go, Victoria.” He says my name like a prayer, and butterflies take flight in my belly at the reverence in his voice. “I’m going to love you until the day I die,” he vows, and I smile, feeling his words in my soul, because I feel the same way.
The hairs on the back of my neck stand erect, signaling danger is close by. Apparently, there are some things that even falling can’t take from me. Demon radar being one of them.
“What’s wrong?” he whispers, placing a kiss on the curve of my neck.
“Something’s coming. Something dangerous,” I explain, and he doesn’t appear bothered in the least.
“It’ll be fine, Victoria. Stay here with me,” he croons.
The certainty in his voice and my eagerness to please him has me relinquishing my concern and giving myself over to him for safekeeping.
I’m lost in the feel of his hands wandering my body when I’m jerked out of his grasp. My body is hurled toward the ground, and I smack hard into the asphalt of the alley floor. When I look up, two glowing red eyes meet mine. Feral and out for blood.
A demon.
I scramble back, unsure what defenses I still possess. I just fell this afternoon, and I lost my blade in the process. A feeling of absolute helplessness invades my troubled mind. How can I save us?
Internally, I berate myself. I’m still a celestial being. That’s something that not even the fall can take away from me. These creatures have crumbled under my touch for centuries. While I’m busy psyching myself up for this fight, the demon lunges toward me, dagger in hand.
I yell out, curling into a ball, trying to protect myself, but the impact I expect never comes. My arms fall to my sides, and when I look up, dread fills me completely. The air is sucked from my lungs and my heart stops.
“Luke?” my voice wavers, eyes opening and closing, trying desperately to unsee what’s laid out before me.
Luke—my Luke—is hovering off the ground, a pair of raven wings protruding from his back.
His eyes are the color of night, and his face is twisted in a menacing glare that has even the demon cowering.
In a voice unrecognizable to me, he instructs the demon to go back to Hell, and it obeys.
Its head lowers and it slinks into the shadows, reprimanded and submissive.
Luke’s gaze turns to me and I know.
“Lucifer.”
My hands fly to my mouth, covering my pathetic moan of guilt and betrayal.
“Victoria.”
My head shakes back and forth violently as my hands cover my ears to drown out his deceitful words. Never allow the devil to whisper in your ear; you’ll fall victim every time. I’m proof of that.
With a flutter of his wings, he disappears, leaving me alone in the alley.
I curl back into a ball, weeping, praying to God to end my existence.
His mercy never comes.
Zeke’s phone blares to life from the nightstand, jarring us both.
The memory of the night I fell makes me sick. I fly from the bed, falling to my knees at the base of the toilet, spilling the contents of my stomach. I heave as my diaphragm clenches. Bile trickles from my lips.
I’ve repressed the truth for so long. Luke was Lucifer in disguise.
The ultimate trickster convinced me to fall in the false name of love.
The reminder of my idiocy has me hurling into the porcelain god again.
When I think I’m finished, I lay my cheek against the lid and try to get my racing heart under control.
As much as I want to come clean to Zeke, I’m not ready. I haven’t admitted to anyone that I fell for the devil.
“What?” Zeke’s hard tone filters into the bathroom, drawing my attention and giving my mind a short reprieve. “I’ll be there within the hour. Be ready,” he says, before everything goes quiet.
I stand, making my way to the sink. Looking in the mirror, I cringe at my reflection.
Clammy skin and an ashen complexion stare back at me.
My hands press into the cold counter as I continue to inspect my face.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. A once beloved angel of Heaven has been reduced to a sick-looking girl, hardly fit to walk Earth.
I want to scream at the top of my lungs.
I want to rage at Lucifer for making me this pathetic girl.
What would that accomplish?
I grab a towel from the counter and wipe my mouth roughly, then quickly brush my teeth and swish with mouthwash. All to buy myself some time to pull it together. When my body is finally done shaking, I walk back to meet Zeke.
“Are you okay?”
“Fine. My stomach is just a bit queasy. No big deal.” I try to brush it off, but Zeke’s narrowed gaze tells me he’s not buying it. “Where are you going?” I push forward, sounding tired and weak.
“Blaine’s group has more questions. They showed up here last night, but we were already gone. I need to fill them in on what happened in the cemetery. It’s likely we’ll encounter arcs again.” He purses his lips in thought. “They need to know the whole truth.”
I sigh. “Do you think there will be repercussions from Heaven for telling them?”
He runs his palms over his face. “We’re going to need more than two fallens to take on whatever’s coming, Tori. What other choice do we have? The archangels are inconsistent with their help. We can’t rely on them. We’ll all die anyway.”
I hate to admit that he’s right. Whatever war is upon us, we’ll need all hands on deck. The human men have proven to be decent allies, but will they be enough?
“Leeanna barely allowed me to fight next to her. What do you think she’ll do if humans get involved?”
“I’m not worried about Lee. She’ll do what’s best for Heaven and Earth.”
“You have that much faith in her after everything?” The edge in my voice seems to strike a nerve. Zeke’s eyes darken and his lips form a hard, straight line.
“We’re not talking about Lee, Tori.”
My teeth clench and my hands ball into fists.
The need to rage is so intense that I can feel my face heating with all the pent-up anger.
Inhaling and then exhaling, I bring myself under control.
It’s not only this conversation that has me ready for a fight.
My dream is playing a key role, and because of it, I don’t want to go down this path. It’s not relevant to the issue at hand.
“I think it’s time we start looking for other fallen angels.”
Zeke groans. “There are none. I’ve looked.”
His total disregard for my suggestion does nothing but reenergize my ire.
“Maybe they’re better at hiding than you are.”
He turns on me, red-faced and completely unlike Zeke. “Why am I never good enough for you, Tori?”
“W-what?” I ask, slinking backward, trying to put as much distance as possible between us.
Zeke’s reaction to a simple statement is so unlike him.
The day has gone downhill ever since the mention of Leeanna’s name, and I have to question why.
Why does the mention of her elicit such an intense negative reaction, still?
“I never said that,” I say, voice rising to meet his.
“You might as well. You insinuate it all the fucking time.” He takes two giant steps toward me, and I step backward in response.
My hands come up to forestall his advance. “Please stop. You’re scaring me.”
His glare retreats, regret left in its place. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“Is this all because I mentioned Leeanna?” The question is asked before I can consider whether I really want the confirmation. I already know, but hearing him say it will sting even more.
He grimaces, and that confirms it. “Don’t bother,” I say, turning my back and bending to retrieve my shirt. I pull it over my head, shielding my nakedness from Zeke, needing the armor.
“Tori, please. I’m struggling.”
My hands come to my hips. “You’re struggling? From what, Zeke?
“Everything,” he grates. “Your reason for falling. Our run-in with the arcs.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me. Now you want to bring up my reason for falling? How about you just admit the damn truth?” I spit the words. “Let’s not sugarcoat what really has you all bent. This is all about your feelings for Lee.”
His face falls, and a small portion of my anger disintegrates at the look of utter self-loathing in his eyes.
“My feelings for you are …” He runs his hands roughly through his hair, which I’m coming to find is a habit of his.
“It’s intense. I don’t know how to handle it.
It’s more than what I ever felt for her. ”
“Don’t,” I say, shaking my head and grinding my teeth. “Don’t pretend this is about you and me.”
His shoulders slacken and tears—freaking tears—well in his eyes. I don’t know how to handle this side of Zeke. I’ve only ever known the strong hunter. The relentless pursuer. The intense lover. This side of him is something entirely foreign.
“It’s everything, Tori. Since I fell, there were only two emotions plaguing me. Lust and anger. Since you came into the picture, it’s so much more. It’s suffocating me.”
“More? What more is there?”