First
Right after Luke did yet another disappearing act, the storm I’d been working on finally gave, reenergizing me. I did an hour HIIT workout, cleaned the loft, took a shower, paced the floor, and finally gave in and called Zeke. His voicemail picked up and I didn’t leave a message.
I’ve avoided calling out of sheer guilt—a new emotion for me.
I don’t owe anything to Zeke, especially given his secrets, but I do feel guilty in general for the way I acted when Luke appeared.
I didn’t conjure him, but I didn’t push him away either.
A part of me wants to continue to lash out and blame Luke for my actions, but he didn’t do it.
I felt no magically engineered pull. He didn’t cause me to act like I did.
That was all me, and I’m ashamed. I all but humped his damn leg, the need for his touch so strong.
I’m ashamed because after everything, I still haven’t learned my lesson.
Everything is different with Luke. When I’m around him, he sucks the air from my lungs, while simultaneously serving as my oxygen. The strong emotions have been there with Zeke too. Butterflies, tingles, all of it. The pull I feel to each of them is night and day.
Where Zeke’s my calm, Luke’s my storm. Zeke soothes, while Luke’s pull threatens to undo me.
One is safe and the other puts me in free fall.
At least, there had been a sense of security with Zeke, up until Leeanna forced me to examine Zeke without the rose-colored glasses.
I didn’t question my feelings for him, because I believed they were genuine.
With Luke, I second-guess everything. Is he manipulating me?
I question it because he has the ability to do such things.
Now, both of them have me second-guessing myself.
My head and heart are at war as I battle my yo-yo thoughts.
“Ugh,” I yell, and the force of it echoes off the walls.
My phone rings and I jump toward it. Zeke’s name lights up the screen, and I can’t answer it fast enough.
“Where are you?” I say, forgoing a simple hello. He doesn’t deserve it right now.
“Hey, gorgeous. I’m on my way to Savannah.”
“Savannah?” I bark. “Georgia? Why?”
“One of the hunters you met at the death house got a tip. Apparently, there’s a coven in Georgia that knows what’s happening and I’m going down with Chad to shake them down.”
“You mean Nephilim,” I correct harshly.
“Yeah, well, you know. Old habits.”
“That was a really fast talk you had, if you and Chad are on your way to Georgia. I thought you were headed to Blaine?”
“Maeve intercepted me before I had time. She said I had to act fast.”
“Maeve? The redhead?” I shriek, wanting to come through the phone and single-handedly beat Zeke senseless.
“That’s the one,” he says hesitantly. “But she’s not coming along. I’m meeting back up with her when I get back.”
“Great,” I manage to muster through my haze of rage.
“To debrief with the whole group, Tor. Please trust me.”
Trust.
It’s funny how such absolute truths can be crushed in one instant. I trusted Zeke with my life, and he literally stomped on that trust and doesn’t even realize I know.
“Where were you before?” I sound like one of those insecure girlfriends who is always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I hate it. That’s not what this is. This is calling him—well, trying to—on his shit.
He groans. “Running errands.” Lies. “This is the first chance I’ve had to call you.”
My stomach rolls, knowing that he’s leaving out the part about seeing Leeanna. The secrets keep adding up. All of the insecurities I’m feeling boil over, and tears well in my eyes. These damn human emotions are for the birds. I wipe the tears away roughly and decide to call him on it.
“Are you sure you weren’t with Lee?”
“Baby, stop. What’s this all about?”
Now he’s diverting.
“Were you with her?” I press, needing him to come clean. Withholding this key piece means he’s not to be trusted, and that will break me.
The line is quiet for a second, only managing to stress me out further. “Yes. But only because she asked me to meet her to discuss the humans—Nephilim.”
“What about them?” I cluck my tongue and wait for him to explain.
“She stressed that they could only know so much. It was a warning.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that to begin with?”
He sighs. “I know she’s a sore spot right now. I didn’t want to leave with us on bad terms.”
“You lied to me. I know you’re hiding things, Zeke.”
“Please don’t do this. You know you’re the only one I want.”
These new emotions are too overwhelming. They’re creeping in on all sides, and I’m about to burst. “It’s not about that. Don’t you get that I know you’ve known about the Nephilim this whole time? I know you lied to me and you just keep lying, Zeke.”
Putting myself out there like this is making me feel vulnerable.
My heart is pounding and my stomach is flopping.
Caring for someone is the worst in moments of uncertainty.
Will he own his mistakes and offer understandable and forgivable reasons?
Or will he continue to bury what could’ve been between us under his mountain of deceit?
His harsh sigh gives me hope that he realizes it’s time to own it.
“You’re right. I’ve known for a long time.
I didn’t say anything because I couldn’t.
Leeanna and Michael told me. They said if I helped get the army of Nephilim trained and ready to fight, they’d consider allowing me—us—back in after the war. ”
I gasp at this revelation. “W-what? They did?”
“Don’t get your hopes up, Tori. We have a long road ahead of us.
” He takes a deep breath. “I’ll tell you everything when I get back.
But right now, I need to focus on the task ahead.
When Maeve got the call, it was stressed that time was of the essence.
The coven is planning on going into hiding.
I’m sorry, baby. I can’t have this conversation right now. ”
My chest deflates and a random tear drips down my cheek.
Those teen girls on TV have nothing over my weak ass.
I cringe at the truth in that. Elation and irritation war for prominence in my jumble of emotions.
I don’t want to wait to have this talk. I’m desperate to know everything about this deal with Leeanna and Michael.
Could there really be a chance of going home?
“I promise. We’ll talk as soon as I get back.”
“Fine,” I concede. “Zeke, be careful. Call me when you know something.”
I don’t want anything to happen to Zeke, no matter what’s going down. I can’t do this alone, and despite the current situation, I care about him.
“Promise. Get some rest, Tori. I’ll be home soon.”
Home.
Everything is changing. He’s calling me baby and referring to my loft as home, but considering there are still major secrets between us, none of it feels right anymore.
We’re nowhere close to having our shit figured out.
A future with Zeke sounds like a fantasy concocted in some romance novel I’d never read.
Now that there’s talk of getting back to Heaven, the idea seems ridiculous.
Why start something that has no happily-ever-after for us?
Would I even still want that if it was possible?
I’m angry, and a lot needs to be worked out. There’s no sense in torturing myself until Zeke gets back. I need to get out of here for a bit. Zeke isn’t the only one who can dig for answers. I have my own connections to local covens, and chances are, answers are closer to home than Zeke realizes.
Before I go chasing leads, I need to get my shit in order, and I need to live a little for me if my time here could come to an end soon.
I suit up, knowing full well that once the sun sets and the moon is overhead, I’ll be hunting.
Perhaps before sunset, if the other day was any indication.
Zeke would not be pleased, but he’s not here.
Solis at my back, I throw a black leather jacket over my shoulders to try to conceal the lethal weapon.
Tonight, I’m going to enjoy all aspects of the city, and then I’m going hunting for demons and answers.
I toured New Orleans like any other human new to the area would. The city’s different in the light of day. It gives off a false sense of security, considering what’s been roaming the area lately. Regardless of the evil that lurks, the city is alive and thriving.
My tour ends at Café Beignet on Bourbon Street.
I’m seated outside, enjoying the music provided by a local jazz artist, when a small child lively dancing to the music catches my eye.
Children have never been a source of entertainment for me.
In truth, they annoy the hell out of me on a good day.
This particular little girl, with her chestnut ringlets and bright brown eyes, has me captivated.
The longer she dances, the farther away she strays from her mother’s side, and the woman doesn’t even realize it.
My eyes dart around to see if anyone else is paying attention, and when they land back on the girl, she’s just disappearing out of sight around the corner.
When her mother doesn’t move to go after her, I spring to action. Why? God only knows.
She’s got a good head start on me, and based on the size of the crowd loitering in the area, I have to appear human, which means she’s getting farther ahead of me than I’m comfortable with.
My head is screaming at me to not make this my business, but I can’t do that.
This city is magical, but it’s also dangerous.
I can’t knowingly allow a child to venture away from her parent.
Why didn’t I just alert her mother? It would’ve been the smart thing to do.
Alas, here I am meandering through throngs of people, chasing after a girl I’ve never seen before in my life and have absolutely no connection to.
She rounds corner after corner, steering us farther away from the crowds and into darker, even more dangerous areas of Bourbon Street.
When the last pedestrian is out of sight, I pick up my speed and run after her.
We’re on a back street. Every streetlamp’s bulb has been burned out or busted out, leaving us in darkness.
The only light I have is from the moon overhead.
There’s not a person around, and not a single light shines in any of the windows of the surrounding buildings.
The girl is sitting with her back turned to me in the middle of the street. I approach slowly, not wanting to alert her to my presence, for fear she’ll take off and the chase will start all over. The closer I get, the more I choke on dread. Something isn’t right.
The instant I have that thought, a high-pitched cackling sounds surrounds me.
The screeching comes from every side, yet it’s still just me and the girl.
My head turns back to the spot in the road, but the girl is gone.
In her place is a box sitting innocently, but its mere presence indicates it’s anything but.
I make my way to that spot in the street, bending to pick up the box while my head swivels to keep an eye on my surroundings. It’s a plain wooden box with no etchings or decorative painting. My instincts tell me to put it down and vacate the area, but when have I ever run from a potential fight?
My right hand goes to my back, patting Solis to affirm I’m not alone in what’s to come. Without overthinking it any longer, I pop the top of the box and stare down to find a bloody, beating heart.
I drop the offending object and take a colossal step away from it. What. The. Hell.
“I see you got my gift.” An unfamiliar voice sounds from behind me, and I spin around to come face to face with a creature that’s undoubtedly an upper-echelon demon.
At first glance he appears human. Chiseled cheekbones, raven hair, devastating smile—it’s all there.
But I know what to look for. That shimmery glamour just at the edges gives him away.
If I focus for just a few seconds on that shimmer, it’ll start to fade away and the demon’s true identity will be revealed.
This particular demon is strong. After several seconds of trying to uncover the glamour, I’m only able to capture glimpses.
“Who are you?” I ask, grabbing for Solis.
The demon tsks. “Is that any way to repay me? I think a thank you is in order.”
I do the most unladylike thing I can think of and spit at his feet. “There’s your thank you, demon.”
“I’m going to enjoy enslaving you,” he sneers. “I see why Lucifer is so taken with you. You truly are a rare beauty.”
Definitely top rank, if he knows my past with Lucifer.
“Good luck. You have no idea how much trouble you’re in. Coming for me alone? Big mistake.”
He chortles. “You think I came alone? Oh, no. I brought friends.”
He whistles, and the shadows all around me start to form into creatures that get uglier as they materialize.
He brought a horde, and that isn’t good for me.