Chapter 20
Love Is Hard
ZARA
It’s impossible to hide the pain in my voice when I tell Mom how I feel.
Like Scott, she has been blaming motorcycles and the racing lifestyle for Dad’s shortcomings. But I’ve been thinking a lot about him lately, and the truth is what I just told her.
“If that’s true,” Mom argues. “Then why do you want to race? Why are you always trying so hard to impress him? Nothing you can do will keep his attention longer than a fleeting moment.”
She’s right. “I want to race for me. Because I love it. I love everything about it. The power, the speed, the control. I love my dad, even if he isn’t perfect.
But I admire him as a racer. He was the greatest, the Sidney Crosby of racing.
” I say, looking at my stepfather. “And I want to be like him. I want to be better than him one day. And before you say anything, I know it’s gonna be ten times harder for me because I’m a woman.
That doesn’t change what I want. So, I want to race when the new racetrack opens. Not as JJ Smith, as myself.”
Mom shakes her head. “You know I can’t support that. But you’re an adult now, so I can’t tell you what to do or send you to boarding school.”
“Really?” I’m surprised she isn’t putting up more of a fight about this. “You aren’t going to cut me off financially?”
“No. As long as you promise to keep going to school.”
That’s not a hard promise to make. “Deal. But I want to study engineering. I want to design my own motorcycle one day.”
Mom rolls her eyes. “I guess that’s fine. At least you’ll have an excellent degree if what you want doesn’t pan out. But can I ask you a question?”
The fact that she doesn’t believe I can be even greater than Dad hurts, but she’s reacting better than I expected, so I decide to choose my battles. “Sure. What do you want to know?”
“Why JJ Smith? I don’t get it.”
Wren asked me the same question.
“Maybe it isn’t that obvious, but it shouldn’t be that hard to figure out for you, Mom. Remember, you used to call me John Junior when I was a kid because I wanted to do everything Dad did? That’s what JJ stands for. And Smith is your maiden name.”
The emotion in Mom’s eyes changes. “So it was a tribute to both of us?”
I scoot forward to grab her hand and squeeze it. “It was.”
“Like I said,” Mom sighs. “I don’t like it, but I can’t stop you.”
I smile, relieved that I can pursue my dream without having to hide it anymore.
“I’m sorry, princess.” I let go of Mom’s hand, turning to look at Ares. “But you aren’t racing.”
My stepbrother’s scowl reminds me of when we first met. He’s sitting right next to me, and he’s looking at me as if I were a piece of hairy gum stuck to the sole of his shoe.
“Why not?” My glare is just as though as I stare him down.
“Because someone is trying to hurt you, that’s why.” He bites out. “We’ve always wondered if the intended target of the masked rider was JJ Smith or if they knew about JJ’s identity.”
His tone rubs me the wrong way. “I know. I’m not an idiot, Ares. I don’t think it matters if they knew at this point, right? Since the last race, my identity was officially out in the open.”
Ares agrees with me way too easily, and I know it’s a trap.
“Exactly.” He looks at our parents. “It can only be her ex. Fox bears a grudge for being rejected, and he hired someone to hurt you. It’s the only thing that makes sense.
JJ Smith appeared out of nowhere right before you broke up with Fox.
The day after, the masked rider made his appearance.
And it isn’t a coincidence that Fox is here the second time around too.
Sorry, princess, but you have a target on your back. I can’t let you race.”
God, I love Ares so fucking much that it hurts. But sometimes I want to hit him just as hard.
“It’s not up to you.” My tone is as harsh and unyielding as his own.
Scott intervenes. “Zara, Ares is right. You had to race because of Morelli, but now that he can’t blackmail you anymore, we would be crazy to let you risk getting hurt if that bike comes back.”
Ares nods. “I don’t think it’s an if. I think it’s more of a question of when. I’m sorry, but it’s too dangerous.”
“Yes,” Mom agrees. “How did I not think about this? I guess I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything that has happened. But it’s too dangerous to race under the circumstances.”
Chance and Lev agree with Ares and our parents. Traitors.
“Zee, I know you want to race. But I have to side with Ares on this one. Without Mason forcing you to race, you have to think about your own safety.”
“Baby,” Chance laces his fingers through mine. “They’re right. You’d be a sitting duck waiting to be taken down.”
I pull my hand out of Chance’s hold. “But don’t you see? That’s exactly what I want. The person who has been trying to hurt me is the same person who hurt Atlas. If I stop racing, they’ll disappear again. I should race, and we should be prepared for when they come back. I want justice for Atlas.”
There’s a hard glint in my stepfather’s eyes, but it’s fleeting. “That’s very honorable, Zara. And we want justice for my son. But I agree that it’s too dangerous.”
“Not if I’m prepared. The last time I outran the bike. I can do it again, and this time we can be prepared to go after it. We can let Mr. Morelli know what happened, and his security will be ready to react. I’m sure he isn’t going to want anything to put his new business in jeopardy.”
There’s a beat of silence, and I can see clearly that I’m about to lose this argument.
“I want to catch the person who killed my son,” Scott is the first to break the silence. “But I can’t risk another life to do it. I appreciate your willingness to help, Zara, but I have to side with everyone else on this.” He squeezes Mom’s hand, and she rests her head on her husband’s shoulder.
She mouths the words “thank you.”
“So that’s it?” I laugh in disbelief. “You’d rather not catch the person who took so much from you than trust my skills?”
My stepfather sighs. “To me, that isn’t a choice, Zara. I want justice for Atlas, but your life can’t be the price.”
“It doesn’t have to be.” Ares clears his throat.
“Because I have a plan. I’ve been working hard to find the person who stole Fox’s bike for two years.
That’s why I had joined the sheriff’s department.
When I couldn’t get anywhere as a civilian, I decided to try to investigate my brother’s death from inside the system.
It still didn’t lead me anywhere. But Zara is right that this person came back the second we started racing again.
We’ll use Zara’s Ducati as bait as soon as the new racetrack opens its doors. ”
I don’t understand. “Ok. So you want me to race? I don’t get it.”
Ares’s gray eyes darken with determination. “No, you aren’t racing, princess. I am. I’m going to race on your Ducati, in a race suit similar to yours. I’m going to be JJ Smith. And when that dirt bike comes back, we’ll have people waiting for it.”
Chance
“Who the hell is we?” Zara frowns.
“I might have quit my job, but I still have friends at the sheriff’s station. They were ready to help me even if our petition had been rejected.”
Dad doesn’t look happy. “So I was the only one who was in the dark about the illegal races?”
“No, Dad,” Ares reassures him. “I spoke to a couple of my colleagues this morning. Believe me, they weren’t happy either. That’s why I quit my job. If I were going to race illegally, I didn’t want to tarnish the reputation of Star Cove’s sheriff’s department.”
“Don’t you think that getting your cop friends to help you with an illegal investigation, while you were committing a crime, would still tarnish our police reputation?”
Ares shrugs. “Not if they got to arrest me at the end. That was the deal. But now that the ban is lifted, I wouldn’t be breaking any laws by racing, and they’re still happy to help me.”
“That’s bullshit.” Zara stands up, ready to leave the room, but Ares stops her.
“Princess, try to understand.” He pleads, closing his fingers around her forearm.
Zara doesn’t back down. She looks Ares straight in the eye, her chest heaving with fury.
“No, Ares, I don’t understand. How can you say you don’t want me to risk my life when you’re ready to risk yours?
I could never live with myself if something happened to you.
And you aren’t racing on my Ducati. It’s my bike, and if we use it to catch the person who killed Atlas, I’m gonna be the one riding it. It’s either that, or nothing.”
Ares pulls her closer, letting go of her arm to grab her chin. “Would you really not let me use your Ducati? It’s the only way to draw out that dirt bike.” He says, staring into her eyes.
Zara shrugs him off. “I told you. I’m not letting you ride my bike. Besides, you couldn’t pass for me. You’re a foot taller than me. Even from far away, you wouldn’t fool anyone.”
Shit.
Zara is right.
I’m relieved when Dad agrees with her. “Your sister is right. And like I can’t allow her to risk getting seriously hurt, I can’t allow you to do that either.
None of you are going to race. I know I can’t force you anymore now that the ban is lifted.
But if you care about me and about this family, you’re going to respect my wishes. ”
“But Dad…” Ares insists.
“Scott…” Zara pleads too.
Dad rises from his seat. “That’s my final word.
I’m not going to discuss this any longer.
Now, I don’t know about you all, but I’m starving.
I could eat one of Morelli’s lasagna and some garlic bread.
That will also give me a chance to speak to Enzo and make sure that his nephew is really kept under control. Who wants to join me?”
Kelly’s smile is too big to be entirely believable. “I’m in.”
This went better than I expected, but I’m under no illusion that our parents aren’t disappointed in all of us after everything that transpired today.
“I’m in too. What do you say, Zee?”
Zara nods. “I’m starving; I could definitely eat.”
What the hell, I can always eat. “Yeah, I’m in too. Ares?”
My brother rolls his eyes. “If Dad’s paying… but be warned, I’m hungry.”
Dad nods. “Of course I’m paying. It’ll be good to have dinner as a family and show our faces in town after the spectacle we offered earlier.”
Lev and Zara are already outside, and Kelly has her purse in her hands, ready to leave.
“My love, before we go, there’s something I would like to discuss with the boys, and I think you might want to be present for this conversation.
Do you mind telling Lev and Zara that we’ll meet them at the restaurant? ”