50. Epilogue 2
Epilogue 2
Cam
I stood nearby, watching the small boy with blond hair race across the grass. Ivy was as beautiful as ever—radiant and happy. Her red hair shined from the sun, and my heart ached.
People thought that when you were gone, you vanished, leaving pieces of you behind. Others thought you lingered if you had unfinished business. The truth was, I would never be at peace. When I was in the hospital the first time that Ross had tried to kill me, I had the most vivid dreams about Ivy.
She had stood in front of a stove cooking something. What it was didn’t matter. The only thing that did was the fact her stomach gently swelled beneath her clothes. I knew the baby was mine in the dream, probably because it was what my heart wanted. The way I came up behind her and enveloped her in my arms. It was just the two of us. She leaned back into me and allowed me to breathe her in. Our bodies fit together perfectly.
And the dream felt so real. There was no hurt, no harsh words, just us existing like everything was okay. It was normal, and we were happy.
That had been my greatest wish. It took me a lot of time to figure that out. When I was still alive, I just wanted to make things right. To apologize and erase all of the hurt I had caused her. I’d tried, but it wasn’t enough. Even the Hope Diamond wouldn’t have been enough to fix us.
And then, after the explosion, I had a lot of time to think as I watched her continually, not knowing what else to do. I watched her sleep, eat, and fold clothes. I watched as she slowly pulled herself from the bottomless pit she’d been thrown into. I watched as her stomach swelled, and I wasn’t able to be there. Not like in my dreams.
It was funny that I had called her little ghost now. I was the one haunting her. If I could tell her anything, it would be I love you. That I was so proud of who she was. I was so happy that she had survived. I couldn’t, though. Instead, I tried to write words on the bathroom mirror as she showered, hoping I would somehow be able to one day.
I clung to shadows, watching as Phoenix grew and Ivy grew older.
And then there was Niko. He strolled into the backyard and smiled at Ivy. I was so happy that they had one another, as well as Caleb and Trey, even if I was sad I couldn’t be there for any of them. My son would never know the real me, but it had to be enough.
I moved closer, hearing the hushed words, and knelt by the child who would become my mirror image. I reached out to touch his cheek, and my fingertips passed through him. He glanced up, almost as if he could see me and wasn’t another apparition. The wind ruffled his hair. “Daddy.”
Ivy scooped him into her arms and smiled at him. “Who are you talking to, silly?” she asked, planting a kiss against his cheek.
I couldn’t stop myself from standing and moving closer to her. I placed my mouth near her ear. “I love you, Ivy. For the rest of eternity. No matter what, my heart belongs to you.” Then I uttered the words I always did. “I’m so sorry. I’ll spend forever telling you that one day. Just not too soon.”
For a moment, it was like she could hear me. Her brows furrowed, and a tear rolled down her cheek. Niko placed a hand on her wrist. “Everything okay?”
She cleared her throat, and the corners of her mouth lifted. “Yeah. For a moment, I thought I heard something. It must have just been the wind.”
I smiled even though my heart was breaking. Maybe one day she would hear me. She would know that I had never left her side—had never wanted to.
I turned to Nikolai, my first love. I’d been foolish not to realize it at the time. He was everything that I had ever wanted, and I had been blind to it for so long. The wind blew as I kissed the skin beneath his ear. “And you. I wasted so much time. I’ll never stop loving you. Even though you hide it, I know you’re hurting. If I could, I would take it all away, I would. I’m never far away.”
If I could cry, I would, but death had taken that ability from me. I’d haunt them until my last breath.
Until forever met the end.