Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CAITLIN
“What the fuck is happening right now?”
Maya’s voice breaks me out of my Drew-induced trance, and I whip my head around, away from his brown-eyed gaze. All five of my friends are staring at me, leaving me wishing I could cast a spell that would immediately cool my heated cheeks and erase the last two minutes from their memories.
Was it only two minutes where I couldn’t look away from Drew?
It felt like a century.
“What do you mean?” I ask, and even I can hear how lame the question sounds.
Emmy gives me a sly grin. “What she means is why is Drew Ellicott staring at you like you’re about to disappear and why are you staring back?”
“And he winked at you,” Sophie says with a grin, smoothing down the front of the Hansley jersey she’s wearing. “Sideline winks are so hot, and that one was epic. One for the ages.”
“Seriously.” Sarah fans herself dramatically. “That was ridiculous. Totally incinerate-your-underwear hot, and I know you thought so too because you’re blushing. You. Betray no emotion and never let them see you sweat Caitlin Parker. Blushing.”
I scoff halfheartedly because fuck, it really was that hot and I do have the heated cheeks to prove it. Betray no emotion? Never let them see you sweat? If only they knew how much emotion and sweating goes on beneath this surface. “That wasn’t for me. He could have been winking at anyone.”
Maya crosses her arms and stares me down, all badass in black leggings and a leather jacket, Renegade T-shirt underneath and black combat boots on her feet.
“He could have been, but he wasn’t. What’s the deal, Cait?
I thought you hated him a little. Or at the very least, he’s been a thorn in your side for reasons I’ve never been able to figure out. ”
The boos from the crowd as Denver kicks a field goal give me a thirty-second reprieve to get my shit together, but that’s not nearly enough time.
Because then the noise level drops below deafening and all five of my friends are still watching me, and just like with Jack and then my dad last week, I feel the words pushing themselves up from my chest. The urge to tell my friends about my weird and confusing feelings for Drew and let them help me figure out what it all means.
The uncomfortable admission that maybe, just maybe, I don’t always have to work it out on my own.
But this time what stops the words isn’t hesitation, it’s the sudden realization that there is one member of my little girl gang who has yet to say a word. And with startling clarity, I know exactly the reason why.
“You know?” I ask Maddy, not sure if I’m relieved since it’s one less person to tell or if I want to punch Drew in the dick for telling one of my best friends the things I probably should have told them all myself.
Maddy’s grin tells me that not only does she know, she’s not the least bit sorry about it. “The right question isn’t whether I know. The right questions is why didn’t you tell us yourself?”
“Tell us what?” Sarah demands, propping her hands on her hips. Her hair is pulled back in a high, bouncy ponytail, and her ears are covered by pink, fluffy Renegades earmuffs despite the fact that it’s fifty degrees and sunny and she looks so ridiculous I can’t help but smile.
“Oh my god, you’re smiling,” Emmy says, grabbing my arm. “What is happening?”
Reaching down, I grab a loaded nacho to give myself a beat, surveying my friends as I eat it and, despite myself, relishing this moment a little bit.
Because Drew winked at me from the field and my world tilted just a little on its foundation and I don’t have my period and nothing hurts and for the first time in a long time, I think I really like this day.
I give myself another second, forever unused to being the one to share, but when the words come, they’re easy. “I kissed Drew.”
Silence.
Complete and utter silence.
Five faces stare at me with expressions ranging from glee to disbelief, and I wish idly that my phone wasn’t in my bag under the seat because I really want a picture.
“Drew,” Maya says slowly, as if trying the name on for size.
I nod.
“Drew Ellicott.” Sophie’s voice is a little stunned, and she glances down at the field and back to me.
“The one and only.”
“Oh my god,” Sarah squeals, quite literally jumping up and down. “Tell us everything. Where did it happen? When did it happen? Was it good? Do you like him? Are you, like, dating or something? Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”
I laugh at my over-enthusiastic cousin and feel a rush of love for all five of them.
Somehow, I got lucky enough to have friends and cousins who are sisters, who love me more than I love myself most of the time, and everything about that feels like wild luck.
I may not know quite how to tell them all the things, but I can tell them this.
Despite it all, I want to tell them this.
“In my office during a meeting. A couple of weeks ago. It was the best kiss I’ve ever had. I’m not sure if I like him, but I think I kind of might. We’re not dating. And…” I pause before I say the next thing, wondering if I should.
Brave, I think again.
“I didn’t say anything because it’s…complicated for me. I don’t always know how.”
I hold my breath, waiting for the questions that never come. Instead, Maddy reaches over and takes my hand, squeezing tight. “Proud of you,” she says quietly. “I know that wasn’t easy.”
I turn to Maddy, my throat tightening at the softness in her face.
The love and understanding in her words.
The acknowledgement that even though it’s not all, some is more than none, and they’ll be there when I’m ready for the all.
I squeeze her hand back because it might not be everything, but for now, it feels like enough.
“He’s looking at you,” Emmy says, wonder in her voice. “Like, literally he’s staring at you right now.”
My head snaps around, and despite the fact that I’m four rows up and Drew must be at least fifty feet away, I feel his gaze like a caress, his smirk sexy as fuck.
And when his eyes lock on mine and then drop deliberately to my chest before coming back to me, I hear the words in his head as if he spoke them right out loud.
That’s not my jersey.
I stare moodily back at him. When I said no men’s names, I wasn’t fucking around.
He crosses his arms over his chest. One day, Princess. You’ll be begging me for my name on your back.
I put my hands on my hips. Don’t hold your breath.
“Well holy shit.” Sophie’s voice is a mix of amusement and glee. “It took Tyler and me years to figure out sideline communication. One kiss and you and Drew are having a whole damn conversation. Are you sure you guys aren’t soulmates? That’s impressive work, Cait.”
One kiss, one rescue mission in a hospital bathroom, the best omelet ever and all the ice cream, a night spent on my couch, and days and days of text messages actually. But that’s a story for another time.
I tear my gaze away from the hot-as-sin wide receiver and turn my attention to Sophie, feeling myself smile. “It was a really good kiss. Like, maybe the best kiss ever.”
“Fuck yeah!” Maya says. “This is queen behavior, Cait. Absolute main character energy. Can I be you when I grow up?”
I roll my eyes because I couldn’t be less of a main character. I’m more of the useful sidekick. “You’re literally four years older than I am. I’m pretty sure you are grown up.”
Maya scoffs. “I don’t think you can call me grown up when I’m still going on dates where I see him texting another girl while he’s sitting across the table from me.”
I shake my head. “You deserve better, Maya,” I say, for what feels like the millionth time.
And she does. Maya is one of the very best people I know, and she deserves someone to sweep her off her feet.
To turn her life upside down and give her all the love and romance she’s been waiting for.
It’s one of the more frustrating parts of my life that I can’t fix this for her.
Save her from this never-ending parade of dating horrors.
“There is no better,” she says darkly. “It’s bleak out there.”
“I don’t know,” Maddy says a little dreamily, and when we all turn to her, she’s looking down at the field where Cam is blowing her a kiss and making a heart with his hands.
Not to be undone, Tyler waves his hands in the air and yells, “I LOVE SOPHIE SULLIVAN,” wide grin plastered to his face, and Sophie tosses back her head and laughs, happiness and love pouring out of her. “It doesn’t feel that bleak to me,” she says, her eyes never leaving Tyler’s.
Maya lets out a long-suffering sigh, flopping down in her chair. “Literally the only reason I haven’t totally given up is because you found those two.” She gestures down to the field. “And if there are two, there are probably more.”
“Of course there are more!” Sarah says, sitting next to Maya and wrapping an arm around her shoulders before sliding her eyes to me. “I mean, there’s at least one more because it looks like maybe Cait has found her match too.”
I roll my eyes, even as a little thrill runs through me at the thought of it. “It was a kiss. No one is getting married.”
“Not yet,” Emmy says with a smirk. “What are you doing after the game?”
I shrug. “Going home? I have a thousand things to do before tomorrow, and this week is going to be insane.” It’s not a lie.
I packed this upcoming week full so I could clear my schedule for surgery and the few days after, since I don’t know how long I’ll feel like crap, but they don’t need to know that yet.
Baby steps.
“No, you’re not,” Maddy and Sophie say in unison.
“What do you mean I’m not?” I look back and forth between them. Both of their faces have the same look, and it says scheme.
Maddy chuckles, linking her arm with mine and turning me towards the field where Drew is, amazingly, still looking up at our section. “That man down there hasn’t taken his eyes off you for the last ten minutes. There’s no way in hell he’s letting you go home.”