Chapter 26 #2
When he smiles, this time there’s only relief. “I know. I…” He pauses again, but this time his eyes don’t leave mine. “Thank you. Just, thank you. So, can I bust you out of here now?”
“Please,” I say, practically groaning the word. “I hate it here and this gown is itchy and I would give a limb for a Sprite with tons of pebble ice. The hospital ice isn’t bad, but all they have is ginger ale and that isn’t the same.”
“I’m so glad to hear that.” Drew reaches down, coming up with a giant to-go cup I didn’t notice until now and hands it to me, then flips me a mini-Snickers he takes from his pocket. “Figured you might be thirsty.”
With my eyes on his, I take a sip from the straw and let out a moan the second the most perfect drink on earth hits my taste buds.
“Holy shit, this is the best thing I’ve ever tasted,” I mutter, sucking more from the straw then unwrapping the candy and popping it in my mouth.
“You are my favorite human on earth,” I say effusively.
Palming my leg over the blanket, Drew rubs circles over my calf with his thumb, his eyes holding mine, his expression serious.
“I’m really happy to hear that because I’m pretty sure you’ve been my favorite everything since I ran into you in a New Orleans night club seven months ago, and I think the spot on my chest where you lay your head when you sleep was made for you alone.
I don’t understand it, and I can’t tell you I’m not a little bit afraid of it, but there it is anyway.
” He pauses, shaking his head. “Sorry, I don’t mean to put my shit on you when you’re literally lying in a hospital bed.
Again. Put my shit on you again.” His face falls just a little, a haunted look passing through his eyes.
“Hey,” I say, reaching out a hand for his.
“I would take your hand right now but using my stomach muscles is a nonstarter for the next couple days, so you’ll have to give it to me.
” When I wave my fingers towards my palm in a come here gesture, he smiles, putting his free hand in mine.
I lace our fingers together, setting the cup between my legs and laying my other hand over our joined ones.
“It’s never the wrong time to tell me anything.
It matters to me what you think. How you feel.
It matters, Drew,” I repeat, squeezing his hand and watching as something like gratitude swims into his gaze.
“We’ve slept in the same bed and you’re picking me up from the hospital after a surgery no one close to me except for you knows I had.
I think after all that, we can try to tell each other the truth from now on, okay?
Even when it’s not something we’re used to doing.
Even when it’s hard. Do you think you can? ”
Drew nods, squeezing my hand back. “I think, with you, I really want to try.”
When I bring his hand to my lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it, I see him swallow hard, fight with the emotion trying to surface, and I feel an uncharacteristic swell of tenderness for this beautiful man.
The one who has a past full of loneliness and what I’m starting to understand is pain but is the kind of person who rescues me from a bathroom floor and braids my hair when I’m too tired to do it myself and beams from the field when he sees me in the stands and stocks his freezer with my favorite ice and ten different ice cream flavors even though he didn’t know if I would ever be there to eat it.
Who buys businesses to remind him of the happy parts of his childhood and bakes sourdough with a starter from the mom who’s been gone for decades and puts millions into a trust fund for a girl he hasn’t really known since he was eighteen years old.
He came here when I called and didn’t ask me a million questions about why I didn’t say anything before, just accepted that asking for help is my hardest thing and looked at me like I was the sun when, for my whole life, I’ve always been more darkness than light.
The way he’s looking at me right now.
The way I’m looking right back at him.
“I’d like to try too.”
Drew smiles and stands, moving to sit on the edge of the bed with his hand still caught in mine and leaning in, kissing my forehead and brushing my messy hair behind my ear.
“So, what’s your truth right now, Catie?
” he asks, tugging the hair tie off my wrist and standing, gathering my hair up into his hands and finger-combing it before weaving it into a braid.
The simple act of care sends a shot of warmth through me, and I ease back, leaning just slightly against him, then wince when the movement has an ache throbbing in my belly.
He bends, pressing a kiss to the top of my head and retaking his seat.
“Everything hurts and I can’t decide if it would be worse for the doctor to tell me she found something or they went in there and didn’t see anything at all, and I really want to put my underwear back on and get the fuck out of here. ”
Drew’s eyes light with interest. “You’re not wearing any underwear?”
I roll my eyes because every man in the world is the same. Even the really, really good ones. “Keep your dick in your pants, Pretty Boy. I’m closed for business for at least a couple of weeks. You may not even want me anymore by the time this is all over.”
He smiles, taking the cup from between my legs and holding it up for me to take another sip.
“Catie, I’m pretty sure there will never be a time when I don’t want you.
But I also want to take care of you and feed you and make sure you have all the ice cream and pebble ice you can possibly eat.
I want to give you your medicine so you won’t be in pain and braid your hair when you’re too tired to do it yourself and go to sleep with you at night if you’ll let me because I think the only time I can sleep is when you’re next to me.
” He shrugs. “There are so many parts of me that are broken, and there are times I don’t know anything at all.
But I do know I want you. And I think you want me too. ”
I take as deep a breath as my current situation allows, letting Drew’s words settle over me, memorizing them to take out and examine later, knowing that I won’t forget them for as long as I live.
“Can I come to your house?” I ask, surprising myself because I had no idea the thought was even in my head, but now that it’s out there, I find I like it quite a lot.
“Now, I mean. It’s okay if that’s too much for you or you have plans or don’t want me all up in your space today when I probably can’t even get up from the couch without help, but I was just thinking I like your house so much better than mine and I like being with you there and I liked sleeping next to you too, a whole lot more than I like sleeping alone, so…
yeah.” I finally slam my mouth shut to stop the torrent of words, my eyes looking anywhere but at him.
Drew grips my chin, turning my head towards him. “Catie, wherever you are, that’s where I am. I can’t think of anything I’d like more than having you all up in my space. My house feels a whole lot happier with you in it.”
I let out the breath I was holding and nod. “Okay.”
Drew grins at me. “Okay. Now, what do we have to do to get you out of this place?”
I shrug. “No clue. I’m sure the nurse will be back around soon making sure I actually did call someone to pick me up this time and we can ask her.
But in the meantime, I would really love to get dressed.
” I gesture to the plastic bag sitting on the rolling table with the clothes and shoes they made me take off before surgery and then look back at Drew.
“My stomach muscles feel like they’ve been through a meat grinder, so I could probably use some help. ”
When he leans in and smacks a kiss to my cheek, I can’t help but laugh.
“Help you get dressed? It would be my fucking pleasure. I’d tell you I won’t look because it feels wrong to ogle you in a hospital even though I’ve already seen every inch of you, but we’re in the truth telling business right now and that would definitely be a lie.
I don’t think there will ever be a time when I don’t want my eyes all over you.
And all my other parts too,” he says with an exaggerated wink.
I scoff. “I have four incisions in my stomach that are all stitched up and weird, and I’m pretty sure I’m partially dyed orange from the iodine they used during surgery and I’m not allowed to shower until tomorrow. Not one single bit of that is sexy.”
“Those are some of the lies we’re not doing anymore,” Drew says, running his hand up the outside of my leg.
“It’s you, so it’s sexy as fuck.” He reaches across the bed and grabs the bag, taking my clothes out of it.
When he sees the blue lace underwear laying on top of my leggings, he flashes me a grin. “Like I said, sexy as fuck.”
I shake my head, snorting out a laugh. “There’s something really wrong with you.”
“Catie, if thinking you’re the hottest woman alive is wrong, then I don’t want to be right. Now strip it off, baby. Let’s get you dressed and get you home.”
Home.
Something warm and sweet gusts through me at the sound of that word coming from his mouth. And I think that maybe I’m already home, because Drew is right here with me.