Chapter 18 Past #2
He turned his head towards me and gave me a tired smile. “Killed my elder brother.” His tone was so casual that it made me wanna laugh.
“When?” I asked.
“Yesterday.”
“You seem relaxed about it,” I remarked.
“He deserved it,” Jayce said. “I delivered justice where it was due.”
“Care to elaborate?”
He scratched his jaw and rubbed a hand over the side of his neck, as if bracing himself for what he was about to say.
“Jeremiah was the golden kid of the family,” Jayce began.
“The eldest, the smartest. My family is dirt-poor, but he never let that affect the way he carried himself: with style and an air of humble superiority. He always knew what to say or what to do, and Jenny and I looked up to him as if he were God or something.” He let go of a humorless laugh.
“I’ll cut to the chase,” he then said, and cleared his throat.
“He got into drugs last year, and, as usual, it started messing with his head. He got fired from his job at the insurance company he worked at, and because he was home all the time, he started being salty about it. Jen and I had school, and she worked part time at the diner next to our house, and that didn’t sit well with Jeremiah.
He began lashing out at us, and even our parents.
Then, as a revenge of sorts, he got Jen hooked on the same drugs he was on.
He tried forcing me to do them too, but I knew better than that.
Jen, on the other hand, didn’t. She loved him; admired him.
And, because he meant so much to her, she didn’t hesitate in indulging his demand.
” Jayce closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, and his expression was so full of pain that it made my chest feel heavy.
“I found out too late,” he all but whispered the words, then opened his eyes and looked at me.
“I found out too fucking late that she was addicted. At first, she missed school and work every two weeks or so, and seemed completely alright when I asked her if everything was okay. But then she started skipping classes and shifts every other day, and that worried me enough to confront her about it. It was a fruitless effort, really, because it was like my words simply weren’t getting through to her.
She’d turned into Jeremiah, and he thought it was okay for her to do what he was making her do.
Our parents thought both him and Jen were lost causes, and refused to help me in getting them into rehab.
It will bring shame to the family name and leave us disgraced in the eyes of peers and elders alike, they said to me, and simply gave up on two of their own children.
” Jayce ran a hand over his jaw and blinked at me.
“Jen was fifteen, Dorran,” he told me. “Fucking fifteen!”
The hair on the back of my neck stood at the pain in his voice. “Was?” I dreaded asking that, especially because Jayce looked about ready to fall apart before me.
“She OD’d last week,” he stated, then gritted his teeth.
“Fucking Jeremiah didn’t even attend the funeral.
He was at home – high as a damn skyscraper.
” He sniffed, and his eyes gleamed in a way that made goosebumps prick my skin.
“I left the chapel early and drove home. I was mad, upset, and so fucking broken. Jen was gone, and Jeremiah didn’t even care enough to be there when our parents and I buried her.
” He shook his head as if he still couldn’t believe his brother had done that.
“I found him on the living room couch, half asleep and barely coherent.” Jayce paused and ran a hand under his nose.
“It was so easy, Dorran,” he told me, then laughed.
“I didn’t even hesitate; I just did it. I grabbed the landline’s receiver, wrapped its cord around his neck, and pulled.
He barely fought me, and it was over so quickly that I couldn’t even believe it at first.”
“How did you get arrested?”
“My dad saw me doing it,” Jayce said. “Called the cops and had me taken away. Apparently, he’d seen me rush out of the chapel in a fit of anger, and had decided to follow me in case I did something stupid.”
“Jesus,” I breathed. “But he knew Jenny had OD’d because of Jeremiah, and he still called the cops on you?”
Jayce shrugged. “I had killed my own flesh and blood.”
“Is that the reason he gave you for having you arrested?”
“Uh huh.”
“And what Jeremiah did to Jenny – wasn’t that killing your own flesh and blood?”
“According to Daddy Dearest, that wasn’t intentional. He said that Jenny had brought her death upon herself by choosing to take drugs.”
I scowled. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”
“Yeah.” Jayce scoffed. “And Mom was here yesterday. Gave the other prisoners quite a show, too. Called me an abomination; said she hoped I rot in this cell for the rest of my days.”
“All because you ended a worthless life.”
“Exactly,” Jayce conceded. “Sucks when your own family fucks you over, huh?”
I scoffed. “Don’t I know it.”
Again, a blanket of comfortable silence fell over us, but this time, I let it wrap itself around me.
I guess I found a shred of solace in the fact that I wasn’t alone; that I actually had someone I could talk to – albeit temporarily – about the things I felt, and the things I’d done.
Honestly, it was more than I could have asked for.
Kind of like an oasis in a desert, but better.
“Hey.” Jayce touched his shoulder to mine. “You wanna get some sleep?”
“Yes please.”
He gestured a hand toward the bunk bed. “Pick one.”
“Well, I ain’t climbing in this dress,” I said to him.
“Of course. I’ll just have to be a proper gentleman and let you take the bottom bed, then.”
I snorted and got to my feet. “Go fuck yourself, man.”
He laughed. “Aye-aye, brother.”