Feel the Music (Gray Wolf LEGACY #7)

CHAPTER ONE

“We can’t afford to feed them or give ‘em clothes anymore, Roy. We gotta take ‘em somewhere. Drop ‘em off at the fire house or somethin’.”

“Are you nuts, woman? We do that and we’ll be arrested for sure. It’s better if we just put ‘em to bed and disappear.”

“But, what if someone comes in durin’ the night and hurts ‘em?” asked Annie.

“I’ll put all the locks on, hun. I promise. We can leave a note for the girl,” he said without appearing to possess any compassion whatsoever. Yet she knew in her heart that he loved his children and her.

“The girl has a name, Roy. She’s your daughter and he’s your son. Just ‘cause he can’t hear don’t change that. At least remember their dang names,” she said with sad eyes.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Annie. You knew how I felt about havin’ kids.

I ain’t had no good upbringin’ myself. My old man was mean as a snake and I was worried I would be too.

Besides, work don’t come easy for us. We ain’t smart and we don’t have no skills.

Kids is expensive and we can’t afford ‘em anymore. We gotta give ‘em away.”

“But you aren’t mean. You’re wonderful with the kids and we could keep tryin’. I’ll see if I can find somethin’ at the grocery down the street,” she said feeling hopeful.

“I’m losin’ my patience here, Annie. We got no jobs, no food in the house and nowhere to go. We can travel light and leave the girl, leave Sutton instructions for her and the boy, for Pippen.”

“She’s just ten, Roy. Ten years old. Do you know what men might do to her if she goes out there beggin’?”

He at least had the decency to let that sink in and realize that his wife was right. He might be a shitty father but he wasn’t a child molester and he’d kill any man or woman who touched his kid in that way.

“Okay,” he said shaking his head as he walked toward the kitchen sink, staring at the other doublewide piece of shit in their mobile home park. None of the places were worth the rent they charged but most didn’t leak and had clean water and heat.

Of course, in the summer they battled the cockroaches and lack of air conditioning, nearly suffocating in those tin cans. You could open the small windows if the screens were good but if they weren’t, you were risking more bugs.

It was getting to be that time again. Looking down, he realized there was a cock-roach searching for a scrap of food, but even he couldn’t find anything. He slammed his hand over it and then rinsed off the bug’s guts, wiping his hand on his pants.

“There’s an orphanage as we head outta town. I’ve seen it before. It’s probly’ run by a church or somethin’. We’ll leave ‘em there, tell ‘em we’ll come back for ‘em when we can. Pip can’t hear a damn thing anyway, so Sutton’ll have to make him understand.”

He wasn’t going to tell Annie but he had no intentions of coming back for the children. He truly never wanted to be a father. He tried. He wasn’t cruel, he wasn’t abusive, but he also had no education and no desire to be tied to one place for very long.

Kids required work, lots of work and love he didn’t know how to give. He watched Annie with them and saw the love and attention she was able to give them. He wasn’t built that way. He just couldn’t.

When Pippen began having severe ear infections as an infant, the doctors at the free clinic all said they knew what to do. They said the boy was deaf already but he didn’t believe it.

Whatever they did left his son unable to hear. He was no help around the house, no use for gettin’ a job anywhere and just another mouth to feed.

He and Annie could start over. Go somewhere that maybe had good work and good pay. The orphanage took kids that couldn’t hear or speak. He’d asked someone in town, and they knew exactly where to send him.

He hadn’t told Annie but he’d had the free clinic snip him good. There’d be no more babies from him.

Annie leaned over the tiny body of her son, too small for his age. Roy picked up Sutton, holding his daughter close, surprised at the wave of emotions and sadness filling him.

Neither child woke, both exhausted and hungry, it was easier to stay asleep than wake and want what wasn’t there.

While they drove, Annie wrote a note in her broken print handwriting, with words misspelled, and stuck it in the small brown grocery bag she put the children’s belongings in.

It wasn’t much, but it was theirs. When Roy rang the bell of the orphanage, a woman answered, smiling and nodding as he explained their situation.

“It’s alright, sir. We’ll take the children for as long as you need. We’ll need you to sign over rights in order for us to deliver medical care and such.”

“I-uh. Okay,” he said.

He didn’t want to tell the woman he could barely read and his chicken scratch signature wouldn’t be worth much. When they lifted the children from the car, Sutton woke, staring up at her father.

“Daddy? Where are we?” Somehow, somewhere deep in her small brain, she knew. She knew they had no money, no food, no home, nothing.

“Honey, your mama and me we gotta go find work in another state and we can’t afford to feed all of us right now. This place is gonna take care of you and feed you. We’ll be back in a month, maybe two. You just take care of your brother.”

Her eyes filled with tears as she stared at her father. She knew that he was lying. He lied a lot. It was usually to make Pip and Mama feel better but Sutton knew.

“Okay, Daddy,” she said in a shaky voice. “I can do whatever you need me to do. I’ll look over Pip.”

He set her down on the soft chair inside the door and stared at her face. Damn her. He could see it. She was too smart for her own good. She knew. She knew it all.

“I wish I coulda’ been a better daddy for you, Sutton. I just…” He turned away, cursing himself for shedding tears. Sutton reached out and hugged her father’s neck.

“It’s okay. We’ll be okay. I promise. I’ll take care of Pip.”

“Don’t you let ‘em separate you, ya’ hear? Whatever happens, Sutton, you stay with your brother. Okay?” He was shocked by his own demands, his own words to his child he was leaving behind.

“Yes, sir. I hear ‘ya.”

Annie could barely look at the children, hugging them both, kissing Pip as he slept soundly on the soft chair.

Sutton stared at her mother, angry for some reason.

She could have done more. She could have helped more.

She didn’t give Pip the medicines when his ears were hurting, instead selling it to other mama’s whose babies were sick.

Why? Her own baby was sick. Why didn’t she help him?

“I’m sorry, Sutton. I’m truly sorry,” she said leaving the children.

The door closed, and Sutton stared at her brother’s sleeping face. She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream. She wanted to run after them. But she knew it would all be for nothing. Once Daddy made up his mind, it was done.

“Sutton? My name is Miss Farmer. Everything is going to be okay, honey. You both look as though you could use some food and a nice hot bath,” she said with a smile.

“Yes, ma’am. That’d be real nice,” said Sutton swallowing her tears.

“Alright, let’s get you upstairs. For the time being, we’ll keep you and your brother in the same room.”

“Oh, he needs to stay there permanently,” said Sutton. “My brother doesn’t hear. He doesn’t know that sign stuff and he doesn’t speak.”

“Oh,” frowned Miss Farmer staring at the door as if an answer were going to enter sometime soon. “Your parents didn’t mention that.”

“Sorry, ma’am. He won’t be no bother.”

“Any bother,” she smiled. Sutton tilted her head. “He won’t be any bother.”

“Yes, ma’am, that’s what I said.”

“Come with me child,” she smiled.

Sutton woke her brother and tried to make him understand where they were and what had happened. It took much longer than she expected to get him to see that they were together and would be alright.

The big bath tub was filled with steamy hot water, bubbles and the best smelling soap Sutton had ever had. When they were bathed, their hair washed and even their nails clean, Miss Farmer put a plate with two sandwiches in front of them and a glass of milk for each.

“You eat that and go to bed,” she smiled. “I’m sure you’re tired. I’ll come wake you both in the morning when it’s time for breakfast and we’ll start to figure things out.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Miss Farmer closed the door to the small bedroom and frowned, shaking her head. Those poor children had no idea that their parents weren’t returning. They didn’t even realize how filthy they were. She half expected to find lice on them but there none, thank goodness.

She turned off the hall lights and stared at the ticking clock. It was nearly two a.m. As she walked down the stairs, there was a knock at the front door, then someone ringing the bell.

“My goodness, it’s a busy night,” she thought. When she opened the door, she knew. Dread filled her body as she stared at the state troopers, their hats in their hands.

“Ma’am. Are there two children here, recently dropped off? Sutton and Pippen?”

“Oh, no,” she said shaking her head.

“We’re sorry, ma’am. We’re not sure what happened but the car was suddenly swerving according to witnesses. They think maybe the couple was fighting but it went right over the bridge on the Atchafalaya.”

“Damn,” she whispered. “How did you know they’d be here?”

“The wife was alert long enough to whisper to a man that was trying to rescue them. She gave him the names of the children and then said orphanage. Those poor kids are gonna wake up tomorrow and not have parents.”

Miss Farmer looked back up the stairs, remembering how brave the little girl had been.

“It’s alright, officer. I’m not sure they had parents before tonight.”