Chapter 20
Lisa
The hallway outside the surgical wing feels too bright and too quiet at the same time.
It’s the kind of quiet that doesn’t calm you but instead makes every small sound feel sharper and more important than it should be.
I realize after the third time I walk past the same vending machine that I have absolutely no idea how long I’ve been pacing back and forth in front of section A.
Time stopped making sense the moment they wheeled Blake away from me.
I saw him for less than ten seconds. Less than ten seconds.
Somehow, those ten seconds keep replaying in my head over and over again, like I missed something important that I should have said before they took him through those doors.
He was pale. Too pale. Still trying to smile at me anyway. Still trying to make it easier for me, not himself. Still apologizing for scaring me while they rolled him away for surgery.
I don’t even realize I’m crying again until I hear footsteps behind me.
“Lisa?” Zane’s voice reaches me before I turn around. “Is everything ok?”
The question alone is enough to break whatever fragile control I had left.
Almost instantly, my hands fly to my face as the sob escapes, unable to stop it. My shoulders are shaking while I try and fail to breathe normally again.
Zane closes the distance between us immediately and pulls me into his arms without hesitation. He’s holding me the same way he used to when we were kids, and I fell on the ice too hard and couldn’t stand up right away.
“What’s going on?” he asks quietly, looking over my shoulder toward Gwen with confusion written all over his face.
“Nothing,” I say automatically, even though the word feels ridiculous the second it leaves my mouth. “I just feel bad for him.”
It isn’t a lie. It isn’t the whole truth either.
“Did you hear anything?” Zane asks, looking around the hallway as if a doctor might appear just because he wants one to.
“The doctor came earlier,” I explain slowly, forcing myself to speak clearly even though my throat still feels tight. “His shoulder is in a pretty rough state. They’re operating now, but she said there’s a chance he might not be able to play anymore.”
The silence that follows feels heavy enough to sit down inside my chest.
“What?” Zane says, finally, running both hands through his hair before dropping into one of the plastic chairs, like the floor shifted under him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look that stunned.
“Here,” Gwen says softly, handing me a tissue from her purse.
I take it automatically and then pull her into a hug before I even think about it. I suddenly need something solid to hold on to while everything else feels uncertain.
“He’ll be ok,” she whispers gently.
I nod even though I don’t know if I believe that yet.
“I’m going to see if I can find a doctor,” Zane says abruptly, pushing himself back to his feet like sitting still is making things worse instead of better. “Anyone who can give us an update.”
He disappears down the hallway before I can answer.
“Are you ok?” Gwen asks once we’re alone.
I nod automatically. Then another tear slips down my cheek anyway.
“I don’t know why I can’t stop crying,” I say, laughing weakly through it.
“Because you care about him,” she answers softly, “that’s normal.”
“I’m worried,” I admit as I sink onto the plastic bench beside her, suddenly exhausted in a way that has nothing to do with sleep. “I only saw him for a second before they took him in, and he was in so much pain.”
Gwen’s hand settles gently over my knee.
“Poor guy,” she murmurs. “What exactly did the doctor tell you?”
“She said the images looked really bad,” I whisper. “Part of the bone shattered, and there’s muscle damage too. She wasn’t sure he’ll get full strength back.”
The words feel heavier every time I repeat them.
“Let’s wait and see how it goes,” Gwen says carefully. “Shoulder injuries look terrifying at first. It doesn’t mean it’s permanent.”
I nod, but the fear doesn’t leave. Because what if it is permanent? What if the last time he stepped onto the ice was tonight? And what if that happened because of James?
Footsteps echo around the corner. I look up automatically. Tess appears first. Leo right behind her.
“Hey,” Tess says immediately, wrapping me in a hug so fast I don’t even have time to prepare for it. “Are you ok?”
The question alone makes my eyes fill again.
“I’m alright,” I say quickly, wiping at my face before the tears can fall again.
Leo hands out coffee like he expected we’d all be here waiting.
He gives Gwen two cups, one for her and one for Zane.
“Don’t you want any?” she asks.
He shakes his head.
“Where did Zane go?”
“He’s trying to find a doctor,” Gwen explains. “Anyone who can tell us something.”
Leo nods and sits beside us.
We’ve barely been sitting for a minute when more footsteps approach from the other direction. This time, the man who rounds the corner is unmistakable, even though I’ve only ever seen him on the Jumbotron before.
“Coach,” I say, standing automatically.
“Any news?” he asks immediately.
I shake my head. He sighs and sits down beside us like he belongs here just as much as the rest of us do.
“Those assholes hit him way too hard,” I say before I can stop myself.
“I’ve already told the board to review it,” Coach replies quietly. “That wasn’t hockey.”
“You think it was revenge?” Gwen asks carefully.
“I’m not making assumptions,” he says. “But I didn’t like what I saw.”
Neither did I. Not for a second.
“Coach?” Zane’s voice appears from the hallway as he returns. “What are you doing here?”
“Same as you,” Coach replies easily. “Any news?”
“I found a nurse,” Zane says, sitting beside Gwen again. “The surgery’s done. The doctor’s coming in about fifteen minutes.”
Fifteen minutes suddenly feels like hours.
We wait together in silence that stretches longer than it should.
Leo and Coach are talking quietly about the last period while Tess tries to distract me with stories about bakery disasters that somehow involve flour explosions and burnt croissants.
I try to laugh at the right moments, even though my mind keeps drifting back to the image of Blake in the hospital bed.
“I’m going to the bathroom,” Zane says eventually, squeezing Gwen’s hand before standing again.
“I always get lost in hospitals,” Coach mutters, following him down the hallway.
The moment they disappear around the corner, I hear footsteps approaching again.
This time they belong to a doctor.
“How did it go?” I ask immediately.
She doesn’t soften the answer.
“He took a very hard hit,” she says. “The bone is fractured, and the surrounding muscle tissue is torn. We won’t know yet how much strength he’ll recover.”
My stomach drops.
“Is he awake?” Leo asks quickly.
“He’s very sleepy,” she replies. “But he keeps asking for his girlfriend.”
The hallway goes completely silent.
“Which one of you is his girlfriend?” she asks.
For a moment, I can’t move. Can’t breathe. Can’t think. I look around the room and feel eyes burning my skin. Then I step forward.
“It’s me,” I say quietly.
The doctor nods once.
“Follow me.”
And before I can look back at anyone else, I follow her down the hallway toward Blake.