Chapter 8
Chapter
Eight
Hollis
I didn’t think Feliks would let us leave the house.
When he stood from the breakfast table and offered to give us a little bit of time to get ready before we left, I wasn’t prepared with a snarky response.
I didn’t even have an argument when he refused to say where we’d go.
Now, I’m here, at my place surrounded by my things in the home I’ve made for Dru and myself.
So I guess it’s a good thing I wasn’t a bitch to him about the surprise.
“This place is nice. I can see why you have been in such a hurry to get back here,” he says.
My eyes rake over him, searching for the lie in his words.
I find none in the way he looks around at the space I’ve curated, a place where the past I’ve overcome isn’t obvious to anyone and where my daughter gets to have a real childhood.
It’s more than the pathetic fate my parents predicted when they kicked me out for getting pregnant just before I turned fifteen.
“It’s home,” I say simply. The words are so small, but the weight of them lands between us with all the gravity I don’t explain.
It’s not that I’m ashamed of my past. My impulsive choices landed me pregnant with my daughter and put me on the path to having her in my life.
I wouldn’t hesitate if I had it all to do it all over again, even knowing how shitty the beginning was.
I’d still choose being Dru’s mom over being my parents’ daughter.
“I know you don’t want to stay at my place, but it’s more secure. I can’t ignore the pakhan if he calls, and I can’t leave you here without me. Your security is shit.”
Thankfully, Dru’s already scampered off to her bedroom to visit her stuffed animal family, certain the things were feeling abandoned in her absence.
There’s so much to unpack in what he just said, and I’m glad she’s not around for the conversation we’re about to have.
Little ears pitching or whatever that saying is.
“First of all, don’t say pakhan like I won’t know what that means,” I say, starting with the most serious issue. Feliks has no business telling me such dangerously secret information.
“Of course, you know who the pakhan is. You’re very intelligent.” The way he boasts about me being smart shouldn’t feel like praise, but I feel myself flushing with pleasure anyway.
“Exactly. Which means you shouldn’t be telling me his business.
That you’re his. There’s no way he’d be chill if he knew you were out here gossiping his secrets to random strangers.
” His loose lips could land us both in hot water.
I’m under no illusion about what that hot water would mean, either.
People who piss off mob bosses go missing.
Entire families do. I’m not trying to get Dru and I killed.
Last night notwithstanding, I live a pretty quiet life.
Sure, the work I do online is the opposite of boring, but it’s safe.
People judge sex work and look down on it, which is why I don’t usually tell people what I do for money.
For a runaway high school dropout, teen mom once forced to turn actual tricks on a corner, though?
My life these days is safe, mundane, and stable. Exactly how I want it.
“He won’t be mad. He’ll love you. And his wife, Irina, will go mad when she meets Dru.
She’s been on all of us for years to give her grandbabies.
Her only daughter has sworn not to have any, so Irina has turned her attention to us.
” The way he speaks of a man so powerful he’s only whispered about, as if he’s a regular family friend married to a sweet little old lady, is mind boggling.
“Stop telling me things!” The demand bursts from me, my panic on a higher level than last night’s mayhem approached.
Every detail about the criminal organization he’s obviously an integral part of is another brick of risk dropped like a Lego on the floor of my life, little landmines waiting for me to step on when I least expect it.
Very deliberately, I ignore the tiny voice inside me that urges me to embrace his danger and the protection it could provide Dru and me.
Besides, a dark arousal shivers deep in my core when all that controlled violence and leashed power locks on to me. I really thought I was past being the girl with terrible taste in men, but here I am again, deluding myself and turning red flags into capes.
“It’s okay. You can know things about the family. When you’re my wife, you won’t be able to testify. So you’ll be safe.” That little bomb drops into my living room with all the grace of a water buffalo tripping on acid.
“Excuse me?” I sputter.
Feliks steps into my space with a familiarity that steals the next words right out of my mouth. His right hand cups my throat, a move that should feel intimidating but only feels smoothly sexy. With his thumb under my jaw, he tilts up my face until I can’t avoid making eye contact with him.
“I’m keeping you, Champ. Reconcile yourself to that. You? Mine. Dru? She’s my daughter now, too. You’ve been mine since you broke something inside me the second I watched you take down that stupid mudak last night.”
“Mudak?” I copy the harsh spit of syllables. Feliks has such a slight accent, it’s easy to forget English isn’t his first language. Less easy to ignore the Bratva part, which makes no sense but my brain frequently doesn’t logic well anyway.
“Asshole. A dead one the second he put my woman and child in danger.” There’s no hesitation in the way he claims both me and my little girl. Instead of terrifying me as it should, the tingles of desire from earlier return with a vengeance.
I can’t help it. I like being claimed by this roguish nerd, maybe even because of the criminal nature existing dually with his obsession over me.
Maybe, it’s a holdover from the times when females needed the protection and hunting skills males provided, I don’t know.
I wasn’t a good student before I dropped out, and its not as if I’ve had the time to delve into the subjects now that I’m responsible for a tiny human’s survival. Bills gotta be paid and whatnot.
“You don’t really know me, though.” The warning slips out, my insecurity showing after a lifetime of being kicked aside when people get close enough to be disappointed at the reality of me.
“There is something inside me I didn’t know existed before last night. Irina would maybe say it is a dusha. I never felt it before in all my life. Until I saw you. And then, I knew.”
“Dooshah?” Another unfamiliar word.
“Dusha. It is like a soul, but bigger. The innermost being, perhaps. Maybe, for me, it was a sleeping monster. Because there was nothing inside me before I saw you, and now there is the certainty I will keep you. And your daughter and the future babies we will make together. All mine.”
His explanation is halting, an unexpected vulnerability in his eyes as they search mine.
It cuts through my insecurities and makes me realize we’re navigating uncharted waters together.
That eases some of my worries. Maybe, I shouldn’t be so convinced he’ll judge me for the way I survive. After all, he’s no blushing innocent.
Beneath the softness he’s allowing me to peek at right now, there’s still the vicious bratva fuckboy I’ve seen murder a man.
When he’s literally a criminal, can he really fault me for the things I’ve done to survive?
I guess we’ll find out, because it’s obvious he won’t let me walk away.
And to be fair, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to anyway.