Lielit
Eight Weeks Later
He looked genuinely horrified and rocked Owain a little faster.
Didn’t you tell me he had multiple women he paid for sex? Bouda asked.
Yup.
So why is he acting like he’s never fucked before?
I glanced at Anaya and sighed.
Because he’s off his rocker.
“Don’t say things like that in front of the children,” he whispered.
I want you inside of me. It’s been two months.
Bouda sniggered.
When you fall asleep, I’m going to suck you off and ride you like a doped-up jockey.
He paused mid-rock, glanced down at Owain, then looked at me.
“I watched Dr Moore stitch you up,” he said quietly.
I’ve been given the all-clear—for all three holes.
He rolled his eyes and resumed rocking Owain.
How did this become my life? Where was the sanctity of a guaranteed Friday night fuck?
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, Bouda said, watching as I stroked Anaya’s plump cheek.
His dad mode was obscenely sexy. The shirtless burping—sure. But more than that, when one of them spat up or needed a fresh nappy, he forgot all about scent and germs because they were ours.
I watched him place Owain in the cot, then leaned down to kiss Anaya’s tiny hand before he came to collect her. Owain always fell asleep first. It had taken time to find a new rhythm once two became four—or six, if we counted Bouda and Fenrir.
You always get what you want in the end, Fenrir reminded me.
I glanced at Blaidd as he walked back toward me, arms already reaching for Anaya.
True, I murmured.
He took her from me, rocking her gently against his chest the same way he’d done with Owain.
That night, I kept my promise—and Blaidd didn’t hold back.
I gained an entirely new respect for the leg strength of professional jockeys.
**
**
**
I yawned as Blaidd manoeuvred Owain onto the pillow before adding Anaya.
“You know I vowed to myself that I’d never deny you,” he murmured, stroking their heads as he spoke, “but watching you give birth to them freaked me out.”
I thought back to the labour and remembered the helpless look in his eyes. Even then, I’d suspected he might faint—or throw up.
“Did you forget that we heal faster?” I whispered.
The day we came home, he made sure I was able to rest between feeding the twins.
He was the one who stayed calm while caring for them.
Fenrir practically worshipped the babies, but he’d never thought he’d find his mate, let alone have pups.
Obsession and control had somehow made them perfect fathers.
“I know we heal,” he said, glancing up at me, “but watching you endure hours of labour… it stayed with me. Until you raped me in my sleep last night.”
A laugh burst out of me, disturbing the twins.
Please. I have bruises on my hips from you bouncing me up and down on your dick, I replied silently, switching modes since he objected to foul language anywhere near the twins.
“Just wait until I get them down,” he said. “It’ll be payback—and to make up for lost time.”
He leaned over the babies to kiss my cheek, then paused, inhaling my scent as his face dropped to my shoulder.
“I missed us,” he said quietly. “Then I felt guilty for not thinking about the twins.”
You should have made him go to therapy, Bouda commented.
We’d learned how to control and direct our thoughts because oversharing caused far too much friction, which meant Bouda was free to speak her mind with me again. Fenrir was an exception to the rule since the power from his bloodline came from the gods.
“Why would you feel guilty?” I asked, pushing his head back so I could look him in the eyes.
“I didn’t want a nanny around them, and I didn’t want you stressed,” he said. “If I started thinking about my needs, where did that leave Owain and Anaya?”
This man left still managed to leave me speechless.
I’d felt useless as a mother because he seemed to do everything so naturally, but as I pieced it together, it began to make sense. The books on baby care and development. The late-night laptop research. Falling asleep mid-chapter.
“So you made me feel like nothing but a milking machine by becoming the perfect daddy?”
“What? No.”
He was nothing like the man I’d first met. The old Blaidd would never have put anyone before himself. I wondered if pregnancy hormones affected men too—or if this was a wolf thing.
Both, Fenrir replied. I’ve benefited considerably from him trying to do everything for our pups.
So you just let him suffer?
Didn’t we make you suffer?
Good point.
“Blaidd,” I said softly, “I told you we’d do this together. You can let go a little.”
He looked relieved at my response as all the tension drained from his shoulders.
“Look at them. They’ll need both of us,” I said, glancing down at our children. “How we raise them will be forever imprinted in them. What do you see for their future?”
“A leader and a warrior,” he said without a thought.
“Which one?” I asked, arching an eyebrow at him.
“Both of them. They’re Prothero-Toleras,” he said, pride threading through his voice. “They come from two ancient bloodlines.”
He doted on both of them, but I was glad Anaya wasn’t diminished for being a female.
My parents and grandparents never made me feel less for being a female.
It could’ve been because after me, my mum couldn’t have any more children.
Listening to friends from high school and university, I knew not everyone’s family thought like this.
“They’re falling asleep,” he said.
I glanced down to see they’d stopped suckling.
They weren’t identical, but both had a mixture of our features.
Anaya had Blaidd’s eyes, and Owain had mine.
I’d been worried about how they’d get along since the hyena side didn’t tolerate siblings, but they were both content, and I had to credit Blaidd for that.
His routine for them was rigid, but it meant they were fed, rested and clean at all times.
“Let’s put them down,” I murmured.
Owain was closest to him. He carefully scooped him off the pillow while I did the same with Anaya. After a quick nappy check, we placed them in their double cot.
He slipped his hand into mine as we stood over them.
We were still navigating through my family, work and us. Neither of us was weak-willed—and these were exactly the conversations we needed to keep having, for our family and for my sanity.
I didn’t see this as problematic since discovering new layers to Blaidd and Fenrir was enlightening. The wolf was pack-oriented, but the hyena wasn't.
It was also the downfall of the old Blaidd.
The irony wasn't lost on me.