36. Sina
The road grew steeper over the last few miles, winding along the canyon ridge before opening into a gravel pull-off overlooking the cliffs.
By the time Kiron killed the engine, my thighs buzzed from gripping the bike through the curves of the last few hours and my knees were stiff when I swung my leg off.
I pulled off my helmet and shook out my hair, flexing my fingers as sensation prickled back into them.
“Ow,” I complained, rolling my shoulders. “I see why you like this drive, but my legs might file a complaint later.”
Kiron huffed softly behind me. “I’ll give you a massage.”
“Promise?” I asked over my shoulder, already stepping toward the edge, boots crunching on loose gravel.
“ Yes , princess. I’d never pass up an opportunity to have my hands all over you. Now be careful. It’s a long way down.”
I smiled and turned back to the view, and my breath caught.
“ Wow! ”
The cliffs dropped sharply toward dark rock and restless waves, white foam exploding where the ocean met stone before being dragged back into endless blue.
Beyond that, the marina curved along the shoreline, boats scattered across water painted in streaks of gold and pink.
The sun hung low, turning the whole sky molten, softening everything into something almost unreal.
For a moment, the fear and confusion that had followed me since the night I’d gotten to Ash Harbor felt impossibly far away.
Wind lifted my hair, cool and clean, carrying salt and pine, and I hugged my arms loosely around myself, just breathing it in. For a second, it felt like the world had paused just for us, and I didn’t know what to do with that feeling.
“Come here, Sina,” Kiron said behind me, his voice low and rough. I walked back, gravel shifting under my boots. He was still on the bike, one boot planted, forearms resting on the handlebars. He scooted back and tapped the fuel tank in front of him. “Climb on.”
“You want me to sit in front of you?”
He nodded, a slow smile curving his mouth.
I stared at the bike like it had personally betrayed me. “I don’t know how you expect me to get— Kiron! ”
I squeaked as he grabbed me without warning, lifting me like I weighed nothing and setting me down in front of him. His hands settled at my hips. My breath caught as the heat of the engine hit between my thighs. I braced myself on his shoulders.
“ Damn .” He shivered softly, fingers digging into my hips. “Hearing you say my name like that does things to me.”
“Being manhandled does something to me too,” I quipped.
“You needed my help.” He shrugged like it was no big deal. My glare only made his smile grow. “Fine, I’ll ask next time.”
His hands slid down to my thighs, thumbs pressing into sore muscles. The slow, deliberate pressure made my eyes flutter shut. The massage should have been innocent, but it wasn’t. Every pass of his hands sent warmth pooling low in my belly, my body reacting as my mind turned to mush.
“Does that feel better?”
I nodded, biting my lip as I looked back out at the marina below. The world looked like it was on fire in the prettiest way possible, gold and pink light catching on the water until everything shimmered.
Yep . This definitely felt like a date. Shared meal. Check . Romantic drive ending with watching the sun go down. Double check.
Now if he would just kiss me again.
“The view is beautiful. I can see why you love it here.”
“Yeah, v ery beautiful,” he murmured .
I glanced sideways and caught him staring at me. He wasn’t talking about the horizon. Heat crept up my neck. My brain short-circuited a little.
Smooth bastard.
“Why did you bring me up here, Kiron?”
His shoulders lifted a fraction, like the question made him uncomfortable.
“That’s okay, you don’t have to answer.”
“No. I want to. It’s just… I’m fucking bad at this, Sina.” He dragged a hand over his beard. “I really need you to trust me. And the only way I know how to prove I’m worthy of you is by telling you how I got turned… and I hope you don’t look at me like I’m some shitty excuse for a man.”
Something in my chest twisted at how his words tangled.
“Okay. Take a breath,” I said softly, taking his hand.
“When you know the real me, you’ll be terrified of me. Like everyone else is.” His eyes searched mine. “It would fucking devastate me if you feared me Sina.”
I cupped his jaw, and he leaned into my touch, eyes falling shut.
His beard rasped against my palm. I’d seen the way people looked at him.
From that first night at Jack’s to the wary glances at the diner today.
I knew what they saw when they looked at Kiron.
A threat . Something that could turn violent in a heartbeat.
But I’d never been afraid of him. Not once. All I felt when I looked at him was the steady, bone-deep certainty that this man would tear the world apart before he ever let it hurt me.
“You’re not the monster in my story, Kiron. If anything, you’re the one who makes me feel safer.”
He rested his forehead against mine, his big, warm hands spread out across my thighs. “You won’t feel that way when you know everything. ”
“I might think the worst for a second,” I admitted, “but whatever it is… you deserve the chance to say it. Trust me, if anyone understands having demons in their past, it’s me.”
“I’ll kill them all .”
I believed him.
I let out a shaky laugh.
“See what I mean? How could I fear you when you say things like that? So please… try . Give me a chance to prove myself too.”
“I brought you here because it’s where it all started. My brother and I used to come up here when we were kids. Thought we were kings of the world from this spot. Sometimes when I come to visit, I’ll find him drinking our favorite vodka in my honor.”
My heart ached.
“I don’t know how you stay in the same city as your human life. I’ve always been the type to run. How do you not get recognized… or go crazy trying to avoid your old life?”
“I didn’t really have one.”
“What do you mean?”
“I died before I ever had the chance to live it.” His jaw flexed.
“I went from group homes to juvie to a ten year stint in county. I was a dumb kid who hated the world and used his fists more than I should’ve.
By the time I found my way back to Ash Harbor, I was twenty-eight and I didn’t know how to do anything else. Be anyone else. But trouble.”
A bitter laugh escaped him. “I had a couple good months here. Working at my brother’s bar. Trying to pretend I hadn’t wasted my youth behind bars. Then I made the ultimate mistake. Picked a fight with some asshole in an alley behind the bar. It’s my fault. You don’t bring fists to a knife fight.”
My throat burned. Self-loathing clung to his voice and I hated it .
“Harlow found me in that alley and changed me. But sometimes I wish he hadn’t. I hate having to watch him suffer because of me.”
“Why not tell your brother what really happened?”
“Him believing I’m dead keeps him safe. I keep my distance so I don’t put him in danger.”
“That’s… really lonely.”
“My life was lonely. Until I met you.”
God, this man was a smooth talker when he wanted to be.
“None of that was your fault. You were a kid who lost everything. You didn’t fail him.”
His eyes searched mine, like he wanted to believe that.
“You ask me why I stay in Ash Harbor. Maybe it’s to torture myself. Punish myself for causing the only person who ever loved me that much grief.”
The words broke me. I didn’t even realize I was crying until a tear slipped off my chin.
“Don’t cry for me, princess,” he murmured, wiping my cheek. “I don’t deserve your tears.”
“You’re the one who suffered and you’re comforting me?”
He gave me a sad smile.
“I’m sorry, Kiron.”
Words failed me after that, so I did the only thing I knew how to do. I slid fully into his lap and wrapped my arms around his waist. Physical affection I could handle. Words were harder.
I rested my head against his chest, listening to the steady thud of his heart under my cheek. He lowered his chin to the top of my head. We both exhaled, tension easing.
His throat worked .
“I should’ve stayed gone. It would’ve been better for Jackson to lose his brother once than to get me back just to lose me again.”
There was way too much to unpack in that statement. I leaned back to look at him, my eyes wide. “Wait… Jackson? As in my boss ?”
Kiron nodded once, jaw tight and my stomach dropped.
“That’s why I brought you here. Something happened at the bar last night, and I really need you to trust me.”