Chapter Three
“I can’t move,”
Jamie groaned, slumping back in the kitchen chair. He’d never eaten anything so good in his life. Or so much of it.
“Look at my food baby.”
He lifted his shirt, pointing at his gut.
Cesar’s intense gaze focused on Jamie’s stomach as he slid his tongue over his teeth.
“No tienes idea de lo mucho que me tientas, colibrí.”
“You’re talking smack about my belly, aren’t you?”
Jamie grinned. He had no idea what the guy just said, but he really liked how it sounded in that low, gruff voice.
It still didn’t seem real that he was sitting next to his crush after eating a meal they’d made.
That Cesar had ninety-eight percent made. Jamie had cut peppers and helped with plates and something to drink.
And he still had his fingers.
“No room for dessert?”
Cesar smiled softly at him, making Jamie’s palms sweat. He’d just known his beefcake was a sweet guy whenever Jamie watched him shop on Sundays.
The way he gently squeezed melons and smiled whenever he said thanks.
Jamie knew there was more to somebody’s personality than melon squeezing and smiling, but dealing with all the crap in his life, Cesar had been the only bright spot in it.
Thank goodness the fantasy matched reality.
“Depends.”
He leaned forward, resting his chin on the heel of his hand.
“I might convince my gut to make room if the dessert’s as good as dinner was.”
Cesar leaned toward him, his tropical eyes a little darker now. Jamie’s breath hitch, unable to stop himself from doing the same. Up close, Cesar’s eyes were even more incredible.
They also looked like they had earlier, with an amber glow. But Jamie couldn’t blame it on the lighting this time. The kitchen was well lit, and the windows and back door were open, letting in plenty of sunlight.
Jamie licked his lips, just in case Cesar kissed him. There wasn’t anything he could do about garlic breath, but his cupcake would have it too.
“Why’re our faces almost touching?”
Jamie whispered, his eyes lowering to Cesar’s lips.
“Forgot what the hell I was gonna say.”
His knuckles gently brushed down Jamie’s neck.
“Tan hermoso.”
“Are you going to tell me what that means?”
Jamie said under his breath, his heart beating like crazy as his body tingled.
“Got a ton of orders!”
a guy hollered as he entered the kitchen.
Two short men strolled in behind him, making their way to the fridge.
Jamie wished life could’ve waited ten more minutes to come crashing back. He was almost sure Cesar was about to kiss him.
Instead, Cesar winked.
“I’ll get that dessert for you.”
But Jamie didn’t want to eat it alone. Unfortunately, his honey bunny had to get back to work.
“Set the orders on my workstation, Chopper,”
Cesar instructed.
“And you two.”
He glanced at the two smaller men who seemed just as out of place in a biker bar as Jamie.
“Clean up any messes you make.”
“I was hoping you had some wings and fries stashed somewhere,”
the guy with the dark hair huffed.
“I just want a sandwich,”
the blond said.
“Noel, Elijah, this is Jamie.”
Cesar gestured with his thumb.
“Colibrí, this is Elijah and Noel.”
He pointed at the two.
“No omelets.”
“I said chicken. Jeez. Jared tries to burn down a kitchen one time, and now you think everyone else will.”
Noel turned to smile at Jamie.
“It’s nice to meet you. Whatever this guy tells you about me, only half believe it.”
“Believe everything he tells you about me,”
Elijah said with a smile.
“Hi, Jamie. Cesar treating you right?”
He sniffed the air.
“He’s damn sure feeding you right. What is that smell, and how can I get some?”
“Garlic shrimp and there’s none left.”
Cesar grabbed the tickets off the counter as Jamie glanced between them, trying to think of something witty to say. It was clear from the way they interacted they were either close friends or family.
Which made Jamie think of Grant. He couldn’t avoid home forever. Jamie would eventually have to deal with his brother, but he prayed really hard Rowan wasn’t there.
Dealing with one monster was terrifying enough. Any time Rowan was at his apartment, Jamie stayed in his bedroom with the door locked. But it wasn’t only the way Rowan made him feel. It was the glances he gave Jamie, that unmistakable look of lust, like the creep was always undressing Jamie with his eyes.
In a moment of anger, Jamie had blurted out how Rowan looked at him. Grant had simply shrugged, saying Jamie wouldn’t be able to do any better and maybe he should sleep with Rowan.
Jamie blinked, the room suddenly back in focus. Cesar was frying something that smelled like chicken, while Elijah stood at the counter making his sandwich.
Turning his head, Jamie startled when he saw Noel sitting where Cesar had during their dinner.
“Sorry.”
Noel held up his hands.
“I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
He lowered his voice.
“Just want to know if you could teach me to dance like that? It would drive Tomas crazy.”
“You saw me dancing?”
Jamie had become so lost in the song he’d let the rhythm take over. It wasn’t the first time, but he’d never sunk that deeply before.
Or had done it in public. Seeing all those eyes on him, knowing they’d witnessed a private moment, made Jamie panic.
“Honey, it was hard to miss. I think you mesmerized half the bar,”
Noel said.
“Cesar’s eyes were glued on you.”
Jamie glanced across the kitchen, watching the way Cesar moved like he’d been born with tongs in his hand. Jamie always tried, but most of his meals turned out garbage-worthy.
Even so, he’d loved experimenting, celebrating the small victory when he’d gotten something right.
But ever since Grant showed up, Jamie avoided the kitchen, afraid his brother would ruin one of the few things that made Jamie happy.
“I would love to show you. It’s just that…”
Jamie shrugged.
“I don’t know how. It just flows through me, and I live in that moment.”
He curled his lips in after he word-vomited all over Noel. “Sorry.”
“For what?”
Noel’s brows were furrowed, looking at Jamie like he couldn’t understand why he apologized.
Jamie glanced toward Cesar. The stud muffin was cooking, but he was being way too obvious that he was trying hard not to stare.
“I sometimes talk too much, too fast when I get excited,”
Jamie confessed.
“Drives most people crazy.”
Grant had threatened more than once to duct tape Jamie and toss him inside a closet, saying his nonstop chatting and moving tested his patience to the limit.
“It doesn’t bother me.”
Noel patted his hand.
“Don’t ever let anyone steal your voice, Jamie.”
He smiled.
“I like your excitement. It’s like watching a wind-up toy.” Noel snickered.
“You do?”
That would be a first. A lot of people, including his coworkers and boss, became annoyed if Jamie talked longer than thirty seconds. He’d overheard two of his coworkers laughing at how Jamie waved at every customer when they walked away from his register.
You never knew what kind of day they were having, and maybe his enthusiasm might help someone who just needed one thing to go right. Jamie had plenty of those kinds of days, where a smile or kind word made the difference between sinking into depression and feeling that glimmer of hope.
“Would you rather we sit here awkwardly, trying to figure out what to say to each other?”
Noel snorted, making Jamie grin.
“It would be like reliving my first date all over again.”
“I’ve never had a date!”
Jamie said with way too much emphasis. Cesar glanced at him, but Jamie couldn’t tell what that look was about.
Elijah just snickered as he chewed, quietly jerking his head toward Cesar.
“This wasn’t a date?”
Noel frowned, gesturing at the table. “My mate—”
His brows shot up.
“My boyfriend, Tomas, told me Cesar’s never brought anyone into the kitchen before.” With a wide grin, he tapped Jamie’s knee.
“I think you just had your first one, buddy.”
This… was all wrong. It was happening again, dang it! Someone treating him like he couldn’t tie his own shoes. The pat on the knee and the word “buddy”
were condescending, something Jamie totally hated. His chest tightened, but he refused to show his hurt as he stood and walked out the back door.
* * * *
“What did I say wrong?”
Noel stared in confusion at Cesar.
“He’s a sweet guy. I was just—”
Cesar didn’t hear the rest. He was sprinting out the back door after Jamie, just as baffled. He’d been trying to give his hummingbird space as he talked with Noel.
Jamie needed friends, and Cesar was more than happy to share his. Now he just needed to figure out what triggered the male into walking out mid-conversation.
“Stop,”
Cesar commanded when he spotted Jamie heading down the alley. He was chasing after the human way too often.
“I’m not going through that again!”
Jamie fisted his hands, yelling while his head rocked back and forth.
“Going through what?”
Cesar asked, keeping his voice level while Jamie kept shouting. Something had set him off, and Cesar couldn’t help if he didn’t know what the fuck happened.
Jamie paced in front of the dumpster, angrily swiping tears from his eyes. Whoa. And here Cesar thought the human all sweet and cheerful. Jamie had displayed a wide range of emotions in the course of a few hours.
He was a firecracker.
“Jamie, tell me what’s going on.”
Cesar watched in alarm as Jamie started jamming his finger into his temple, jaw clenched tight. He didn’t answer, just kept making wounded animal noises.
Fuck this. Cesar circled his fingers around the male’s wrist, stopping Jamie from driving his finger through his skull, but that only made him even more agitated.
“How do I help you?”
He cupped Jamie’s face, trying to make his hummingbird look him in the eyes. But he just struggled to get free, moaning loudly.
“Jamie!”
His eyes darted around like ping-pong balls, but Cesar could see them slowing down.
“Focus on me,”
he encouraged, feeling like his fucking heart was breaking. Jamie curled his fingers around Cesar’s wrists, gripping them until his knuckles turned white.
“I’m right here, cari?o. Listen to my voice. Let it fill you the same way the music did. No one is going to hurt you, Jamie. I just need you to come back to me.”
Cesar wasn’t gonna stop talking until he had Jamie’s attention. Screw the food, the customers, and everything else. Right in that moment, Jamie was all that mattered.
“Just a little more,”
Cesar crooned when Jamie’s eyes started flicking to him before darting away.
He was fighting to come back, listening to Cesar tell him about how he’d met Noel, how the little pistola had kicked Tomas’s ass, and how they now called Noel baby seal, though not to his face.
Everyone was afraid to get their asses kicked next.
Gradually, Jamie’s breathing slowed, his eyes starting to lose that wild edge, and his grip on Cesar’s wrists loosened.
“You with me, sweetheart?”
He brushed his thumbs across Jamie’s soft skin. His features were more feminine than masculine—sharp cheekbones, pert nose, and a soft jawline that curved with soft angles.
“I think—”
Jamie focused on Cesar’s chest, his breathing steady but shallow.
“Jellybean—”
He drew in a breath.
“I’m sorry.”
Cesar folded Jamie into his arms, wondering just how deep his trauma was. He’d suffered from multiple head trauma, emotional distress, and panic attacks, this one much worse than in the bar.
What else did Janie suffer from, and how much of his trauma had his brother caused? A wolf shifter’s life was harsh. The only light in Cesar’s darkness had been his abuela. She’d protected him as best she could, keeping him in her kitchen and out of trouble.
But who did Jamie have? Who fought to keep him safe when the monsters attacked? Cesar had stood in that checkout line, watching the exchange between Jamie and his brother. The guy had gotten off on terrorizing Jamie.
The other human though? The one Jamie had warned Cesar about? He was the true threat. Soulless eyes and a malicious smile that would make even the devil think twice.
Cesar held Jamie more firmly, probably giving him a sense of safety he hadn’t felt in a very long time.
“Are we still friends?”
Jamie murmured against Cesar’s chest.
“Why would you ask me that?”
He’d never felt such an overwhelming need to protect someone the way he did the human. Jamie had no one fighting for him, no one he could call at three in the morning just because he didn’t want to feel so alone.
“I’m a wreck,”
Jamie said with sarcasm.
“Apparently I love falling apart in front of you. Not exactly endearing qualities, huh?”
“I don’t know, cari?o.”
Cesar squeezed his arms just a little.
“Gives me an excuse to hold you.”
Tilting his head back, Jamie frowned at him.
“You don’t need an excuse, honey bunny. You can hug me anytime you want.”
He did not just say that.
“Careful, colibrí. Tell me I can hold you and I might not let go. Ever.”
A soft, sweet grin lit up his breathtaking gray eyes. He bit his bottom lip as a flush swept through his cheeks.
“It’ll make doing my job a lot harder but worth it.”
Cesar threw his head back and laughed.
“You’d lug my big ass around, colibrí?”
“Are you kidding?”
Jamie bounced in Cesar’s arm, smiling so wildly a set of dimples showed. Damn he was beautiful.
“I would carry you everywhere.”
He squeezed Cesar’s sides as his face turned a deeper shade of red.
“Are you seriously trying to lift me?”
he asked in astonishment. The guy couldn’t weigh more than a hundred five, maybe ten pounds.
“Babe, I’m two hundred and forty pounds of solid muscle. The only thing you’re gonna lift is your back off the ground.”
“You could at least pretend,”
Jamie whispered.
“Oh, sorry,”
Cesar whispered back.
“Try again.”
When he did, Cesar pushed to his toes.
“Ah! Put me down!”
Those slim arms shook, as if Jamie were really trying to lift him. He’d lost his goddamn mind if he thought he could pick up a muscled wolf shifter.
“What’re you guys doing out here?”
Chopper called out from the kitchen doorway.
“We got another one who likes to kick ass?”
If one more person interrupted his time with Jamie, Cesar was gonna starve them.
“Put me down.”
He tapped Jamie’s arm, afraid he might actually hurt himself.
“If you’re that hellbent on lifting something heavy…”
His lips twitched.
Jamie’s arms flew from around him so fast Cesar nearly stumbled.
“I was only kidding around,”
Jamie said.
“About lifting you. Not about you hugging me any time you wanted. But it was hot pretending to boost you cause I got to grab your butt.”
His eyebrows tried to crawl into his hairline.
“Please tell me I didn’t just confess that to you.”
“You don’t need an excuse, guapo. You can squeeze my ass any time you want,”
Cesar murmured in his ear.
Jamie patted his ass then gave Cesar’s left cheek a firm squeeze.
“You can hug me if you want,”
he said with a smirk.
“You’re not as innocent as you let on, are you?”
All this time he’d assumed Jamie was some shy, but excitable twink. He’d never spoken to Cesar in the grocery store, except to tell him to have a nice day and wave. But there was a flirty little menace under that guileless mask.
He blinked at Cesar.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, cupcake.”
With a wolfish grin, Cesar watched Jamie head to the kitchen door, hips slightly swaying.
Motherfuck. If his colibrí didn’t watch out, he would be lying under Cesar before the night was over.
* * * *
Jamie found Noel sitting at the far end of the bar, nursing dark liquid in a tumbler. He glanced up when Jamie approached, no judgment in those blue eyes. Just curiosity.
“Hi.”
Jamie slid onto the stool beside him then ran his fingers back and forth over the hem of his shirt.
“I wanted to say I was sorry. You know. For just... walking out like that.”
Setting his drink aside, Noel turned to face him.
“You don’t need to apologize. I obviously said something upsetting, though I’m not sure what it was.”
“Oh, no! You didn’t say anything wrong.”
Jamie forced himself to slow down, to take a deep breath before he turned into a caffeinated squirrel.
“It’s just...”
Relax. Count if you have to. Once he was sure he wouldn’t vomit his words, he continued.
“My brain was hurt. A lot.” He paused to blow out a breath, to keep talking slow and calm.
“People treat me like…” He frowned.
“Well, like I’m talking to you right now. But imagine everyone treating you that way, all the time. Like you didn’t know how to tie your own shoes and needed a buddy to constantly hold your hand.”
When Miguel walked over, Jamie ordered a Sprite. His mouth had gone bone-dry, his heart racing. Aside from doctors, and a note in his file at work, Jamie had never told anyone about what his life with Grant was like. There were some days he really wished he had a friend to hold his hand, especially when his brother turned into a monster.
“Thanks.”
Jamie accepted the drink from Miguel and took a long sip then stared down into the bubbles.
“So when you patted my knee and called me buddy, it felt like—”
“Like I was asking if you needed me to tie your shoes.”
Noel tossed back the rest of his drink, a strange look appearing in his eyes.
“The last thing I would ever want is for you to think I’m being condescending, Jamie. I’m really sorry I did that.”
The genuine regret and sadness in Noel’s tone made Jamie want to hug him.
“You didn’t know. That’s why I feel bad about storming off. You were just being nice, and I made it all weird.”
“Trust me, you didn’t make it weird.”
Noel’s laugh was soft but bitter.
“I know what it’s like when people treat you like you’re broken. Maybe not the same way, but...”
He slowly glanced around then leaned in.
“My ex used to tell me I was too stupid to survive on my own. That I needed him to take care of me because I’d never make it by myself.”
“That’s awful.”
And sounded like something Grant would say. Sadly, Jamie had learned the world had more bad guys than good. He just hated Noel had to meet one too.
“Brian was awful in a lot of ways.”
Noel traced the condensation on his glass with his fingers.
“Took me six months of running and hiding to finally get away from him. He was... very persistent.”
“Running and hiding?”
Jamie’s eyes widened, imagining the heck Noel had to have gone through.
“Like, he was chasing you?”
Noel nodded then seemed to consider something. After a moment, he lifted the hem of his shirt just enough to reveal a small, puckered scar on his side.
“He shot me and my boyfriend a couple weeks ago. Bullet went through Tomas and lodged in me.”
“Oh my god!”
Jamie’s hands flew to his mouth.
“He tried to kill you?”
“Pretty much.”
Noel let his shirt fall back down.
“But I’m okay now. We both are. And he’s... well, he’s not gonna bother me again.”
Jamie stared at him, processing. This guy who looked so sweet had survived something so horrible. There’d been a handful of times Jamie was sure he was going to die after one of Grant’s more violent attacks. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure how he’d made it to the hospital. Jamie hadn’t been in any condition to call an ambulance.
“I’m really glad you’re okay.”
Jamie patted Noel’s knee then yanked his hand away when he realized what he’d done.
“Thanks.”
Noel smiled.
“Can I ask what happened to you? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
“My brother,”
Jamie said softly.
“He’s been knocking me around since we were kids. Usually it’s just his fists, but sometimes...”
He touched his temple absently.
“My boss thinks I’m mentally disabled because of it, but I’m not. I just process things a little differently now.”
“Your brother sounds like a real piece of shit.”
Jamie blinked then burst into surprised laughter.
“Yeah, he really is.”
They sat in comfortable silence for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts. Then Noel turned to him with a hopeful expression.
“I know this is sudden, but... would you maybe want to be friends? I mean, real friends?”
Noel grinned and knocked elbows with Jamie.
“I’ve never really had any before. Always been too busy surviving, you know? But I’m finally laying down roots, with Tomas and this place, and it would be really nice to have some friends.”
“Really?”
Jamie gripped the edge of the counter, holding on to stop himself from zipping around the room.
“You want to be friends with me?”
“Hell yeah.”
Noel grinned.
“We both know what it’s like to have people underestimate us. Plus, you seem pretty cool, and I could use more cool people in my life.”
“This is the best day ever.”
Jamie practically launched from his seat but forced his butt to sit back down.
“I’ve never had a real friend either! Well, except maybe Cesar, but I don’t know if he counts since I have this huge crush on him and—”
He slapped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide, while wishing he would learn to keep things to himself.
Noel’s eyes sparkled.
“Oh, this friendship is going to be fun.”
From the other end of the bar, Cesar caught Jamie’s eye and gave him a soft smirk that made his stomach do somersaults. His pookie had been watching them.
Jamie grinned so hard his dang cheeks hurt.