4. Abby
FOUR
ABBY
Spencer calls me in for a one-on-one meeting as soon as I get into work. My clit flutters in anticipation. I was vaguely disappointed when I woke up after the clinic in my own bed, with Spencer nowhere to be seen, but surely this will be the start of it.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about yesterday. I hope it was as significant for him as it was for me.
His blue eyes darken, hungry, as he watches me walk into his office. I feel his attention on me, immediately.
If he really wanted me in this way, before, surely I would have noticed. I can’t have been so oblivious. The way he’s looking at me makes all the new sensations I felt yesterday race through my mind on a loop.
The overwhelming flicker of his tongue on my clit… The way he groaned when he tasted my juices… The relentless movement of his hand inside me, guiding me through my orgasm even as I lost myself to pleasure…
Then he breaks his stare and wipes a hand over his face as if he’s stressed. The look that made my pussy tingle disappears. His wide jaw is tense, and I see there are shadows under his eyes.
“I went too far yesterday, Abby. I shouldn’t have done that. I lost control, seeing you like that.”
Oh.
He regrets it.
I stare at the floor, scared to ask what I’m thinking. Surely things can’t go back to normal, to my hopeless crush on my boss, not after yesterday…
I work up the courage to ask the question. I desperately need the answer. “And does our agreement still apply?”
I cast a quick glance at him. His expression is unreadable and stern. The way he looks in a difficult business negotiation.
He heaves a heavy sigh. “I went about this whole thing in the wrong way, Abby. I asked too much of you before you were ready. It was… inappropriate.”
I don’t know what he means by that, but I feel too disappointed to clarify.
The truth is, I was excited by what happened yesterday. I want more of it. I just don’t know how to tell him that.
I leave the meeting feeling confused as hell.
My head spins as I try to match this morning’s conversation with the filthy memories of what happened yesterday. I barely get any work done. The whiplash of finally having what I’ve wanted for years, then being sent back to square one, has me stunned.
I have to vent to someone, so I invite Kathy out to lunch. She’s not my closest friend, but she’s all I have at Thelion.
If I don’t speak to someone about this, I’m gonna spiral all day, and she’s all I have right now.
“You fucked Spencer?” Her jaw drops open. “What was it like?”
Obviously, I wasn’t totally honest with Kathy when I explained the situation.
I told her we had sex, which is not strictly true. Spencer and I didn’t really have sex… it was more like, he ate me out until I saw stars and then came all over me. I conveniently left out the unprotected sex part and the fact that he wanted me to have his child.
Instead, I skim past the details of where we were or how it started and go with “I slept with my boss and now he’s being weird about it”. That explanation feels way less complicated, and yet Kathy’s face is lighting up like I’ve just given her the juiciest piece of gossip ever.
“Tell me everything,” she demands. “I mean he’s a total sex god, Abby! Was it good?”
“Not that I have much experience to draw on… But yes, it was good.”
“Specifically?”
My face flames. Obviously, I’ve never had any experience to share like this, and I didn’t realize she’d want so many details. “He was really good with his mouth.”
She leans back, satisfied with this detail. “I’d bet. Older men have more experience with that kind of thing. So what’s wrong?”
“The thing is, he’s acting like he regrets the whole thing. This morning he said it was inappropriate.”
Kathy laughs at that. “I mean, of course it’s inappropriate, Abby. He’s your boss and he’s old enough to be your dad. But isn’t that what makes it hot?”
My face flames. I do like how much older Spencer is, but I’d never admit that so openly.
Kathy gives me a knowing smile. “He’s probably feeling bad because HR are really pushing this new workplace relationship policy.” She makes a face. She’s been complaining about the policy for months because of her situationship with Kevin in IT.
“What do you think I should do about it?”
Kathy thinks for a second, sipping her iced coffee.
She purses her lips. “Look, I’m not endorsing this relationship, Abby. Fucking your boss is a minefield. An absolute recipe for disaster.”
“So I shouldn’t?”
She sighs. “Objectively, you shouldn’t. On the other hand, considering that it’s Spencer, I get it.”
I sigh. “He made it clear he regrets it.” I don’t think he wants me, not after our conversation this morning.
Kathy rolls her eyes. “Have you seen yourself? There’s no way he doesn’t want you. That man is feeling guilty as hell. He’s worried you don’t want him.”
“Okay, but he wasn’t listening to me when I said that.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “I think you need to prove it. Show him that he was wrong. I don’t think he’ll be able to resist if you show him that you do want him, Abby.”
This is what Kathy meant, I think. She’s a million times more experienced than I am with workplace romances, so I trust her.
Still, this feels… bold.
I feel a wave of nerves rising in my stomach anytime I think of Spencer walking in and finding me like this. What if he laughs? What if he thinks I’m ridiculous?
The only way I can relax is when I think about what happened yesterday. Spencer’s firm touch. The way he groaned at the taste of me. When I remember his movements as he finished, he was so filled with urgency. Some part of him wants me, even if he feels bad about it.
I want that. I want it again. The thought that I might lose a relationship like that with Spencer, all because he feels guilty, is what drives me on. Maybe if I can remind him that he does want me, that will be enough to stop whatever second thoughts he’s having.
I slide my panties off and unbutton my blouse, then lie back on Spencer’s desk, sliding a hand between my thighs as I replay the moments from yesterday that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.
Now he’ll see exactly how much I want him.
I get so lost in my fantasies that I don’t even notice the door open until Spencer’s standing right in front of me.
His blue eyes are unreadable as he looks down at me and at first I wonder if I’m making a fool of myself. I’m half-naked in my boss’s office and he hasn’t said a word about it. He just stares for a beat, his eyes raking over my body again and again.
Then I hear his voice, which is strained with desire.
“What are you doing, Abby?”
“Thinking about yesterday,” I reply.
“Fuck,” he sighs, staring at where my fingers press inside me, just the same way that he touched me yesterday.
“I want you to do it again, Spencer. I want your cum inside me again.”