Chapter 5 Geneva

Geneva

Sunday came and I found myself staring down at the only four outfits that I assumed would be appropriate for the luncheon. And by appropriate, I mean that they fit.

A turquoise sleeveless summer dress; a black linen flare skirt with matching camisole top; a pair of white capris and a floral orange and green sheer poncho; and a red and white Captain & Tennille sort of getup. All size eighteen.

I looked down at my bulging gut and slapped it in dismay. “Why won’t you just go away!” I wailed, and then reached over and plucked a sugar-coated doughnut from the green and white Krispy Kreme box on my nightstand.

Turning back to my sparsely filled closet, I stared at my out-of-date wardrobe. The only clothes I owned that fit perfectly were sweatpants, T-shirts, and my work uniforms.

“Shit!” I bellowed.

“Shit!” echoed behind me, and I spun around to see Charlie standing there, mimicking my stance.

“Don’t say that, baby,” I said as I bent over and tweaked her nose before walking around her and back toward the bed.

“Why?”

“Well, it’s not a nice thing to say,” I mumbled, examining the waistline of the black skirt to see if there was a secret dart there that I could open.

“Is it a potty word, Mommy?”

“Yes, it is.”

No dart. Damn.

“Then why you saying it then?”

“Mommy made a mistake.” I reached for the turquoise dress and pressed it up against my body for the fifth time.

“Why?”

“Why what, baby?”

“Why can you use potty words and I can’t?”

I gave her an exasperated look. “Because I’m an adult.”

Charlie considered my response, and then her face scrunched up tight. I tossed the dress down in favor of my pack of cigarettes that sat alongside the doughnut box.

Reaching for the matches, I looked down at Charlie and said, “Go on to your room, baby, so Mommy can have a cigarette.”

Charlie pinched her nose and began her nasal chant, “Secondhand smoke kills, secondhand smoke kills,” as she marched out of the room.

I lit my cigarette and inhaled the calming nicotine. Three puffs and my mind cleared. “I know what I’m going to do,” I mused out loud to the curl of smoke. “I just won’t go.”

Proud of my decision, I picked up the phone and called Crystal’s apartment.

The phone rang twice and then her recorded voice came on. Hanging up, I racked my brain for the number to her cell phone. Another three puffs from my cigarette and it magically comes to me.

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