Chapter Twelve
Aster: Hey Joel, it happened. Beardy farm boyfriend has happened.
Joel: I knew you’d do it you little slut!
Joel: congrats, are you happy?
Aster: ecstatic, happy is not a good enough word. I am over the moon and full of joy and love Joel: gross
Joel: does he have a brother?
Group chat has been renamed to Foggy Basin Friends
Aster: Good morning everyone! Isn’t it a wonderful day? Aren’t you just ecstatic about the world itself??
Tane: did someone give Aster drugs?
Mickey: I most certainly did not
Harlow: what is this about, I am very busy and important
Dillon: beats me. We did the protest and it’s all sorted, right?
Aster: correct! We outwitted Big Language Learning Machines, Big Tech and shady town council members and we have SAVED OUR LAKE, that’s worth celebrating
Harlow: seriously? Some of us have jobs to focus on. What celebration are you suggesting?
Aster: I’m suggesting everyone come out to Cooper farm on Sunday to celebrate with barbeque and to hear our exciting news
Mickey: what? You’re not going to tell us now?
Dillon: oh is this about Aster and Mickey dating?
Aster...
Aster: what
Aster: you knew?
Harlow: I mean, you kissed right in front of me
Dillon: and you’re not exactly subtle about your crushes
Aster: what?
Tane: OH MY GOD YOU’RE DATING??? THAT’S AMAZING, CONGRATULATIONS YOU TWO!
Aster: I don’t need your pity surprise
Harlow: I totally already told them
Tane: okay but I am genuinely happy for you?
Mickey: Aster is pouting
Dillon: aw, don’t pout baby bro, I love you!
Dillon: I’m so happy for you! Harlow: lol, he’ll get over it
Tane: Aster, I wrote a song about you
Mickey: wait, what?
Mickey: use your own phone, Aster
Aster: you better not be messing with me Tane!
Tane: I’m not. I think you could use it for a drag act. I’ll email you the demo, see what you think
Dillon: Tane are you bribing my little brother?
Tane: No! I genuinely wrote it for Aster
Aster: oh my god, you’re the best!
Tane: you’re so welcome
Mickey: ...
Aster: you’re the best after Mickey, my incredible and cute and strong and amazing BOYFRIEND
Harlow: I am leaving this group chat and deleting all of your numbers
Aster: no you are not I will add you back, bitch
Harlow: Mickey, Aster is bullying me!
Aster: am not
Dillon: So, what time Sunday and what should we bring?
Mickey: I’ll let you know the details asap