30. Out Of His Hands
OUT OF HIS HANDS
“Give me a kiss,” Tasha said the next morning as she handed him his travel coffee mug and pushed him out the door.
“I’ll talk to you later,” he said.
She waved her fingers at him, then turned to the couch. “Micah, say bye to Baker.”
“Bakeeeerrrrr,” Micah said, standing on the couch and leaning over, his arm waving. It just lit him up how every few times Micah stretched his name out as if he was just learning to say it again.
But then he’d burst into a fit of giggles.
He walked out the front door, climbed into his SUV and started it up. Tasha would leave almost an hour after him. He was used to getting in around seven to start his day.
He thought they might be in the other’s way getting ready, but they weren’t.
He was up first, in the shower, then she followed, he had breakfast ready for them when she got out, then she woke Micah and took care of her son.
He would have gotten Micah up for her, but she’d never asked once and the last thing he wanted to do was break her routine.
What a night they’d had.
Not the sex. That was always wonderful.
Not even her saying she was on the pill giving them that added freedom there.
It was the words expressed.
That she loved him as much as he loved her.
That she knew he was struggling and took it out of his hands.
That maybe she had him as much as he professed to have her.
And all it did was remind him how fucked up a marriage his parents had and that his mother was just full of shit to call that love.
That was control in his eyes.
When his sister’s name lit up on the screen, he hit the button to answer. “This is an early morning call.”
“Yeah,” Brittany said. “I know you’re up and probably on the way to work.”
“Leaving now. Let me guess. You talked to Mom and she told you what an asshole I was.”
Brittany laughed. Emme was in the background and he assumed his sister’s girlfriend heard the comment. “We talked. She didn’t say you were an asshole.”
“Not explicitly, but the underlying meaning was there.”
Brittany sighed. “She doesn’t know any other way to be. She thinks we should feel the same way she does about Dad. Do we love him? He’s our father, but I don’t love, not even like, one thing he does where it concerns her.”
He was glad to know he wasn’t alone. “Do you talk to Dad? Did Mom want you to tell him it’s okay to have that going on with him? That it’s normal and shouldn’t make him feel like less than a man?”
His sister burst out laughing. “Like I’d know the first thing about what it’s like to be a man or even be with one. No. She got her digs in about that too. I might have said some of the same things you did. That maybe he won’t stray from home if he’s afraid his parts aren’t functioning as well.”
He snorted. “Are we horrible people?”
“No,” Emme yelled. “You’re not.”
“Thanks, Emme.” He realized now his sister had him on speakerphone. It was hard for him to tell, being in the car.
“We aren’t the horrible ones. I think we are pretty damn normal considering what examples we have. Did you talk to Tasha last night about the call?”
“I did.”
“Good for you, Baker. You never did before.”
The fact his sister stopped short of saying Alexa’s name meant she had to know about the engagement too.
That was one thing he hadn’t brought up to Tasha. He didn’t need to.
The last thing he wanted was her to worry that he was still harboring any feelings for his ex.
There was nothing left there at all. He was almost dead inside when it came to Alexa.
His mother wasn’t so wrong about that.
But he wasn’t like that now.
“Why didn’t you tell me Alexa was engaged?”
There was silence for a heartbeat. Then another. A third. “I didn’t think it’d matter,” Brittany said.
“It doesn’t. But I didn’t appreciate Mom throwing it in my face as if that whole thing was my fault. Or what happened to me I’m holding onto and will be a lonely old man the rest of my life.”
“Mom said something to you about it?”
The shock in his sister’s voice told him his mother had left that part out. “How else did you think I’d find out?”
“I don’t know. I figured you still talked to people back home now and again.”
“Not really and no one who would bring that up. Have you known for long?”
“I noticed it online a few weeks ago. You’ve got something so much better than her. Don’t let her get in your head.”
“Oh, she’s not,” he argued. “Never again.” And to prove his point. “I love Tasha.”
“Yes!” Emme yelled. “Did you tell her? I like her a lot.”
“I told her. Last night. She said it back. Or actually, she said it first, but I’ve felt it. She has too.”
“I think you’ve both felt it for a long time. I’m surprised it took you as long as it had to say it.”
“Not so long when you know our history.”
“Good point. I’m so happy things are going well. And Micah is such a doll. I just love how he comes to you like you’ve always been part of his life.”
“He’s something else,” he said.
“Where do you think things are going with you two?”
“Now you’re getting ahead of yourself,” he said. “Let’s go back to Dad.”
“And ruin my morning? I don’t think so,” Brittany complained.
“Sorry. I’m not dealing with this. It’s not anything serious. It’s not like Dad is making an effort to call me. Never has. Not even a text.” There was more silence there. “What aren’t you telling me? Do you talk to Dad?”
“Not really. I do more than you. He lets me in on the financial stuff. You know that. But once he talks about life in general I normally cut him off. Your name never comes up. I think... never mind.”
“Nope. Say it. I’m a big boy and can handle it.”
“I think you cut ties,” Brittany said gently, “and he’s refusing to take the next step. And I think Mom is pushing you because she doesn’t want to rock the boat with him. She still lives with him. She wants you to make the move so she doesn’t have to.”
He put his blinker on and turned sharper than necessary, the motion tilting his SUV.
What Brittany said made too much sense.
“You’re probably right. But she might as well save her breath because it’s not happening. Not anytime soon.”
“She needs a reason to call,” Brittany said. “She knows you don’t tell her much about your life. She doesn’t want to tell you much about hers. We criticize too much in her eyes.”
“With reason,” he said. “I’m not one for talking just for the sake of it.”
“I told Mom that.”
“And it’s not as if she ever asks what’s going on in my life. Do you know the last time she did?” he asked.
“No. When?”
“No clue. That’s how long it’s been. So for her to make assumptions on my life is a crock of shit. She calls when she’s depressed, upset, or wants to complain about Dad. She never calls to ask how I’m doing or if I’m seeing anyone.”
“If you’re in love?” Emme shouted. “We care though.”
Damn. He was thrilled his sister found what he had.
“I’m glad you care, Emme. I care about you both too. My sister should have told me sooner about you though.”
“Don’t take her side,” Brittany said when he heard more laughing. “Anyway. I wanted to see how you were doing. Mom didn’t tell me everything and she never does. But what she did sounded pretty harsh. I’m positive you felt like shit after even though it all had to be said.”
“I’m feeling less like that than I used to.”
But it’d never go away completely. It almost couldn’t.
They were still his parents, but it didn’t mean he had to agree with anything they did.
“There you are,” Jolene said, her smile painted on as wide as she could make it.
It’d been darn hard to not ask more questions yesterday, but she’d managed it.
Today was a new day.
Baker’s shoulders dropped with her tapping her foot outside his office door.
“What the hell, Jolene? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”
She moved aside for him to put the key in the door and open it. Gavin had a master key. She could have stolen it for the day and been sitting in there, but that might be a little too much even for her.
“You weren’t scared.”
“Don’t bet on it. What are you doing here this early? Did you really get up just to get details about me and Tasha?”
There. He’d said the words. Their names as a couple. Just as she wanted him to do.
“Actually, the world doesn’t revolve around my matchmaking.”
“Did you practice saying that in the mirror? No way you could pull it off on the first try that seriously.”
And that was another reason she liked Baker so much. He wasn’t afraid to give it to her like any of her children.
“I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve.”
“More than a few.”
“I have to pick up Mason’s kids and bring them to school. Jessica has an appointment and can’t do it and Mason should be here soon with them.”
Which meant it was perfect timing for her to slide into his office and give him a hard time.
“Then you better go before you miss them.”
“Not happening.” She looked at her watch. “He’ll be here in ten minutes. Yesterday was a free pass. Today isn’t.”
Might as well be right in his face with it now. He’d expect no different.
He put his laptop on his desk, opened it up and sat down, then started typing into it. “What is it you want to know?”
He didn’t look up at her.
“You’re giving me a free pass?”
“Hell no,” he said, laughing. “You can ask, but it doesn’t mean I’ll answer.”
“How many questions can I ask?”
He lifted his eyes under his lashes. “Two.”
That was twice what she was hoping for.
“Do you and Micah get along well?”
“We do.”
Which meant he spent a lot of time with the toddler. She just had to phrase the questions properly.
She was tapping her finger to her chin. Her last one was going to be hard.
“You thanked me for knowing what you needed when you didn’t. So that means you’re in love.”
“That’s not a question,” he said when she looked at him hopeful.
She pursed her lips. “How does your family feel about Tasha?”
“My sister really likes her,” he said.
Nothing about his parents and she’d let that go since she was here yesterday when there was drama. Mason either didn’t know what any of that meant or he wasn’t saying.
Probably the last.
That was fine. The fact that Baker introduced Tasha to any family member meant that the next phase was falling right into place.
She nodded her head and took a step backwards. “Then I can pat myself on the back.”
He laughed. “Your work is done.”
“Nah,” she said, waving her hand. “It’s never done.”
Then she got out of there before she said too much.
When to push, when to take, and when to know she did the right thing.