35. Ready For A Confession
READY FOR A CONFESSION
“What was so important that we had to come over today?” her mother asked the next day.
Micah was napping and she’d planned it this way on purpose.
She knew if she brought her son to her parents’ house, he’d want to be entertained. He’d be a distraction when she was ready for a confession.
“I need to talk to you both. Micah is napping. He just went down. It will give us some time.” She took a steadying breath. “No one is sick. Don’t worry about that.”
She could see the fear in their eyes. “I’m glad to hear that,” her father said. “But the way you’re wringing your hands tells me it’s not going to be good news.”
“I don’t know what kind of news it is, but not good,” she said. She turned to look at Baker next to her on the couch.
That was what a loving, caring, strong partner did.
He didn’t flinch when you fell apart.
He held you while you cried. Wiped away the tears you couldn’t stop. Let you break without trying to fix you.
And when the storm passed, when you could finally breathe again, he looked you in the eye and said clearly, firmly, and without hesitation, that he wasn’t going anywhere.
He was standing by you. That he had you.
She threaded her fingers through Baker’s and held on. Because she needed that anchor.
She needed his strength and support.
“Are you pregnant?” her mother blurted out.
“God, no,” she said. That was all she needed right now. “I’m going to tell you about Micah’s father.”
“Oh.” Her mother’s face said it all.
The shock. The questions. The concerns.
“Why now?” her father asked.
“I’m going to cut to the chase first. I never told Micah’s father I was pregnant. He didn’t know.”
Her mother’s mouth opened. “Tasha. How could you not tell someone they were expecting a child?”
“Mom,” she said. “I need to tell it all to you.”
“You don’t look surprised, Baker,” her father said. “Did you know this?”
“I’ve known about Micah’s father for a while.”
Her parents exchanged glances. Part hurt, part confusion.
“Tell us then,” her mother said.
“His name was Shane Rogan. He lived in Atlanta and worked there and here in Charlotte for his uncle, splitting his time. We dated for about two months, but I only saw him every two weeks.”
“So one of those long distance things?” her mother asked.
“Yes. We talked on and off while he was gone. I never suspected anything and I should have. I found out that he was married and had two kids.”
Her father’s face flooded crimson. “Married but separated? Or married and cheating on his wife?”
Her foot was shaking on the floor, her knee bobbing with it. “Cheating on his wife. The night I found out—when I found his second phone and she was trying to call him—I ended it right then. I stormed out, he came after me, I told him what I thought, felt, and what he could go do with himself.”
“Good for you,” her mother said, nodding her head.
“Then a few weeks later I found out I was pregnant. We’d been protecting ourselves, but maybe the condom leaked or broke. I don’t know. It doesn’t even matter now.”
“It doesn’t,” Baker said. “That’s all in the past.”
“So what changed?” her mother asked. “Not that I’m not thrilled to know who the person is and I know I’ll have a lot more questions.”
“He showed up at the school yesterday. He said he’d been trying to find me, but I’d moved and I’d blocked his number.”
“What the hell does he want?” her father asked.
She reached for Baker’s hand and held it, felt his reassuring squeeze, giving her the courage to continue.
“Well, he and his wife split, he said things were messy and I didn’t ask nor care. He’s in Charlotte now working until they cool off. He just thought we’d pick up where we left off.”
“Asshole,” her mother said.
“That’s one of the more polite names I’d call him,” Baker said.
“I told him exactly what I thought of him and the situation with his wife back then and now. I told him I was in a relationship too. I don’t think he’s going to go away. He’s not the type. He’ll want to check out Baker to see if he still has a shot.”
Her father looked at her boyfriend. “And your thoughts on this?”
“I’m just waiting. Maybe even itching for it,” he said.
“No fights,” she said. “I don’t want that.
But the thing is, I’m not sure I can hide Micah’s existence now.
I always knew the time would come when Shane would have to be told.
I don’t know how he’s going to react. I want nothing from him and I’m going to be very clear about that.
I’d actually prefer not to get anything. ”
“Tasha, he has a child. He should support that child,” her mother said.
“I don’t need his support, financially or his presence in Micah’s life. But I don’t know how he is going to feel about it. And he has paternal rights. I called an attorney yesterday when I got home. I’m meeting with her after work on Monday to find out what I can about this situation.”
“You’re at least being smart about this,” her mother said.
“I don’t need the sarcasm, Mom.”
“What could you have been thinking dating a married man?” her mother asked.
“She just told you she didn’t know he was married,” Baker said.
“How could she not know just based on the little she’d said? If you’d told us about him back then, Tasha, I would have raised those questions.”
“That’s right,” she said, throwing her hand up. “Because you always doubted everyone I ever dated. The one person you liked was James and he was boring as all hell. I didn’t want to settle down with him, but you pushed and pushed like it was my fault I let him get away.”
And having this conversation in front of Baker wasn’t making anything better.
“I don’t doubt everyone you date,” her mother argued. “Did I have opinions? Sure, I did, and I do. I doubt nothing about Baker and I’m not just saying that because he’s sitting here.”
“Gee, thanks for that,” she mumbled.
“Are you going to tell Shane about Micah?” her father asked. “I think it’d be better if you did rather than him finding out.”
She turned to look at Baker. He said the same thing to her.
“Once I talk to my attorney on Monday, I’ll make that decision.
Right now, I just didn’t want you to find out from someone else.
I know you’ve got a lot more questions, but I don’t have answers.
I don’t want to answer questions about my past with Shane.
It was two months and it’s over. I was an idiot for not seeing the signs, and the minute I found out, I ended things. If this comes out…”
“It’s going to come out,” her mother interrupted. “You know it.”
“I don’t know any such thing. It’s all going to depend on what Shane says or thinks when he finds out.
I never planned on keeping this a secret forever.
The fact he’s out of the state for things to settle down tells me he might not even be seeing his own kids.
I have no idea what kind of a father he is.
It’s not like we talked about those things. Remember, I didn’t know he had kids.”
Which was just another thought flowing in her brain that no dams could slow down.
“Why don’t we let Tasha and Baker have some quiet time before Micah wakes up?” her father said. “I’m sure there is a lot they need to talk about and not much for us to go over.”
Her parents stood even though she was positive her mother wasn’t happy. “I’m sorry, Mom. I was hurt and upset and everything was happening at once. I wanted to get through the pregnancy and then time just went on.”
“As you’ve told us before, you’re an adult and can handle it. I just hope you can.” The words were so final that she almost cringed as if she was slapped.
“Meaning I’m on my own for this?” she asked.
“No,” Baker said. “You’re not. I’m here.”
“We’ll be there, Tasha,” her mother said, letting out a long sigh. “But I need time to process this.”
Her father ran his hand down her arm. “Let us know if you need anything. Help with Micah, the attorney. Anything. I’ll talk to your mother.”
She nodded and gave them both a hug, then closed the door when they pulled out of her driveway.
“That wasn’t too bad,” he said.
She moved over and flopped on the couch next to him. “It could have been a lot worse. I know that. My mother is hurt and I don’t blame her. She was judgmental as I expected.”
“Not nearly as much as my mother would be. I told you what she thinks of Brittany and Emme.”
She let out a much-needed laugh, even if she didn’t find any of this funny.
“I know. Life is going to get complicated. I’ll have a better grasp on things once I talk to the attorney on Monday.”
“Do you want me to go with you?”
She wanted to say yes, but instead said, “I need to do this alone. At least this time.”
“You know where I am if you change your mind. Even if you do it walking into the building.”
She leaned in to give him a kiss. “Thank you for everything. It just makes me love you all the more that you’re not upset over this.”
“It’s your life, Tasha.”
“Maybe I want it to be more than just my life.”