Chapter 3 On Her Own
ON HER OWN
“Are you set for your trip?” Jocelyn asked her mother the next day. “Anything you need to show me?”
“Now you want to ask me nicely,” her mother said. “A few days ago you said you had it all handled.”
She didn’t need the reminder that she did those things. Tell rather than ask. Assume rather than question.
She didn’t see herself as bossy, but concern for others often made her sound that way.
Her mother had been there for her through it all taking care of her when she needed it most. From painful breakups to fending off her meddling brothers from seeking a few well-deserved moments of revenge on her exes.
She just had poor taste in men. Two men she’d been in a long-term relationship with who her parents never cared for. You’d think she’d listen to them.
“I was wrong,” she said. “I admit it. There. Happy?”
Her mother reached her hand over. Jocelyn was standing behind her mother’s desk while they looked at the screen. They’d been talking about an order for Jocelyn to monitor next week.
“It’s hard for you to admit that,” her mother said, giving her fingers a squeeze. “I know that.”
“I just want you to enjoy life more. You did your job. You raised us. Both of you. You’ve worked hard too with the business. And in the past several years it’s grown even more with the investment in the rental properties with the Fierces, Olsons, and Kennedys.”
“And got your brother married and a baby on the way.”
She gave a little shoulder wiggle. Last night Gabe and Elise, who owned Kennedy Construction with her father and brother, announced they were having a baby mid-March. She was going to be an auntie!!
She had to admit, she’d been shocked her brother ended up with Elise. For years the two of them couldn’t be in the same room without biting each other’s heads off.
Sure, they had some meddling help from her parents and other sources, but she was positive her brother did it on his own. The way it should be done.
“Yep. And you’ll have a grandchild you’ll want to spend time with,” she said, lifting her eyebrows.
“I know where you’re going with this. I’m not volunteering to babysit.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not sure of their plan, for one. Two, I raised three kids and am not sure I want to do it again. I want to enjoy my grandchildren, not be watching them day in and day out.”
“What if they ask you to do it?” she asked.
“They won’t,” her mother said.
Gabe wouldn’t. She knew that. Elise either.
Elise’s brother had a daughter who was in daycare most days, sometimes in the office where Elise, Royce and their father, Richard, took turns keeping an eye on Willow who would be three in a few months. They were expecting a son in January.
Over the years she’d gotten close with all the groups associated with the rental buildings her family firm had invested in. People she hadn’t known who were part of her work family now.
Many married and kids all entering the equation.
Fierce matchups. Her brother being one of them. Royce Kennedy another.
Walker Olson added to that list. They’d just had their second child a few months ago. A little boy named Christian.
When was she going to find her man and have a baby?
If those thoughts filled her mind too often, her mother might read them and start shooting flares to get help matching her.
No, thank you!
She wanted to do it on her own.
Even if her own provided some shitty results.
“No,” she said. “But, if you’d like to show me some more things in time, I’ll gladly learn, and together maybe we can figure out a way to delegate more for you.”
Her mother laughed. “Jocelyn, I felt the pain it caused you to say those words. Did your father put you up to it?”
Caught.
She could lie.
She wasn’t good at that either.
“Maybe. Are you going to give him a lecture too?”
“I wouldn’t think of it. Besides, your father knows if I cut back, then he has to.”
“Good luck there. Gabe has tried.”
“I know you kids mean well,” her mother said. “But your father and I have a plan and you have to trust us on it. He’s not working as hard physically and he enjoys the new ventures and dealings. He enjoys talking to people and getting contracts in place.”
“And Gabe likes being on site,” she said. “I know.”
“Your brother needs to do office work to have a better understanding of the other end of the business. Just like you do. I appreciate how concerned you are.”
“It’s not my only concern. Don’t you just want to not worry about work for a day? Get up and go play pickleball or drink mimosas with breakfast, have a latte and an ice cream cone for lunch, then go home and watch Hallmark movies in the afternoon?”
Her mother was laughing so hard there might be tears in the corner of her eyes. “Oh God, Jocelyn. That doesn’t even warrant a reply. Now I know you’re joking with me.”
She really hadn’t been but laughed along with her mother. Maybe there was a part of her that had this perfect dream retirement she felt her mother deserved.
The only part of the description that might be true was ice cream in the afternoon.
Sometimes she let silly things fill her brain. Ideas she thought were what her parents should do in retirement. Just the same as where she’d thought she’d be at thirty-four.
A married woman with a baby. Maybe two. Running the family office like her mother had done while managing a household and raising children.
She was none of those things.
Not married and nowhere close to it.
No kids. Not that she’d have one without being married. Unless she got desperate and saw her clock ticking faster than it was.
Didn’t manage the office or anything more than a department at work, either.
She didn’t count running her household. Her thousand-square-foot condo barely took much to maintain.
“That’s me,” she said. “A joke a minute.”
Her mother moved back and she returned to the chair in front of the desk. “What’s on your mind?”
She shrugged. “Not much.”
Her mother sighed. “I know when my daughter is letting her mind wander and take control. I know you’re thrilled for Gabe and Elise.”
“Of course I am,” she said, her eyebrows rising.
“But you’re thinking of where you thought you’d be in your grand plan.”
“Maybe.”
“Stop planning it all out, Jocelyn. That’s when you get down on yourself. Life is about mixing it up. Living in the moment. Experiencing things out of your comfort zone.”
“No, thank you,” she said.
Her mother rolled her eyes. “That’s your problem. Life throws curveballs. Fast ones. Ones you can’t jump out of the way from quick enough, and the only way to handle them is to end up kissing the dirt, or take one to the face to get your attention.”
“What the hell, Mom. That’s kind of harsh of you.” Her mother could be blunt, but this was more than she was used to hearing.
“It is. You need that in your life too. Stop beating yourself up for not being where you thought you’d be. For trying to find the right guy rather than the guy that makes you happy.”
“The right guy will make me happy,” she said, grinning.
“He will. But the harder you search and wish for it, the more impossible it feels. You’ve built up this idea in your head of what’s right and perfect, but no one is. Least of all you.”
“Hey!”
Her mother laughed. “Just saying. Open your eyes. Take what is in front of you and learn to work around it. You know, master the art of compromise.”
“I guess there isn’t anything you want to show me in terms of work. You realize I know exactly what you’re doing.”
“What’s that?” her mother asked, lifting her chin.
“Trying to annoy me enough to move on and go back to my office and leave you alone.”
“I always knew you were a smart one.”
Jocelyn stood up and walked toward the door. She could take a hint.
“I got it from my mother.”