Chapter 11 Making Life Easier
MAKING LIFE EASIER
“This is fantastic,” Chance said while they were sitting at Jocelyn’s table and eating dinner.
He’d set the plates and silverware out while she put the food on platters.
She was still on her first drink, and he appreciated that she thought enough to pick up beer, so he switched to that.
He was half expecting wine. He could put it down like the next person, but it wasn’t his preference.
“It’s pretty good if I say so myself,” she said. “We talked about you at the firehouse and taking on all the other duties there too. What made you want to buy a bar? Just security for your grandmother?”
He got paid more for everything extra he did at the firehouse. It wasn’t a hardship for him. He hoped to move up in ranks before he retired and build that pension that Jocelyn picked on him about. Maybe he sounded like a boring desk jockey talking about those things.
But for a guy who might have to dig his own grave just to afford a burial, it was time to get his shit together. If not for himself, then to make things easier on his grandmother.
“My grandmother has worked there for twenty years,” he said. “The owner was selling it and she wouldn’t be able to find another job and she wasn’t ready to retire. I don’t even know if she has enough put away for it.”
Though he started a fund for her without her knowledge. Not a ton. Every little bit helped and with all those second jobs he had before the bar, twice a year he put a lump sum in an investment account for her.
“You wanted her to work less and by owning it you could accomplish that. You said that before. It’s a big ask to take on that risk and liability.”
“It was. It is. I’d been working behind the bar there for years.
I knew that part of the business. My grandmother has run everything from the front to the back end but never got paid for her dedication.
She’s the bar manager now. It was supposed to get her off her feet, yet she’s still doing what she was and then extra. ”
They’d gotten into more than one argument over her not having to work more just because he was paying her a salary she’d never gotten before.
He couldn’t run that business without her. Hell, half the changes made had been her idea and the place was thriving more than it had with the previous owners.
If it stayed afloat and covered all his expenses, he was happy enough.
“She wants you to succeed. Can I ask about your parents? You talk about your grandmother.”
“Because my grandmother is the only mother I ever knew and who raised me.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be intrusive. I didn’t know that.”
“Not many knew about my life.”
“And you don’t want to talk about it. Got it.”
He never talked much about his past with anyone. He didn’t have tons of friends back in school. Or not people he saw now.
All his friends as an adult just knew a summary of current events, not what he went through. He put that past life behind him.
But Jocelyn was part of that life.
“It’s history,” he said. “My mother got pregnant when she was sixteen. I don’t know who my father is.
I’ve never heard his name or seen it on a birth certificate.
She was more into partying than raising a kid and left me with my grandmother.
One night when I was thirteen, there was a knock at the door and it was the police. She’d OD’d.”
Jocelyn reached her hand over. “I didn’t know her and I won’t say I’m sorry for your loss. I won’t insult you by thinking I know what you could have gone through or that you may or may not have been close to her.”
“Not.”
She nodded. “But you had your grandmother and she’s done a damn good job with you.”
“She did the best she could.”
“Not everyone’s best is perfect,” she said. “The best is just that. And people should be proud of it.”
“I’m proud of my grandmother. She’s not so proud of the life we had and I hate that. I want to give her more. For that to happen, I have to give more to myself first.”
“Don’t be embarrassed for saying these things,” she said.
“I’m not,” he said, cutting more of his chicken. If he stuffed his mouth, he’d stop talking and feeling exactly what he’d just lied about.
“You totally are. Your face is flushed. There must be something about that age. My mother was diagnosed with cancer when I was thirteen. I remember thinking how horrible it would be if I lost her. Watching her go through chemo. It was hard on everyone. We all stepped up to make life easier, but she didn’t want that either. ”
“Women have their pride too,” he said.
“Yes. If I’d known, you and I could have talked about it back then. Been a shoulder for each other.”
He laughed. He thought she was joking, but she wasn’t. “Jocelyn. Don’t kid yourself. You would have only made a bad name for yourself if you’d done that.”
“Do you think I care all that much?”
“Maybe not now that I turned into something more, but back then, you would have.”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to argue about it either. I’d like to think I wouldn’t have fallen for the peer pressure, but the truth is, I might have at some point. I lost some friends in high school for standing up for people they didn’t think were worthy.”
“And you would have lost even more.”
“You’re right, it’s in the past.” He wasn’t sure he liked how quickly she dropped it, but he’d expected it. “Where do you live? There are apartments above the bar right? Do you live there?”
“No,” he said. “I could but chose not to. The rent I get there is higher than what I pay and those two apartments are both smaller than mine. That money goes toward the mortgage on the place and reduces my costs.”
“Look at you talking all businesslike.”
“It’s right up your alley, isn’t it?” he asked. “The numbers queen. I remember you were good at math. But not so great with a paintbrush either.”
“I hated art class. It was my lowest grade. I think it sucks how they grade us. Not everyone has the same talent.”
“Life isn’t fair. I learned that.”
The hard way too. He wasn’t positive Jocelyn had too many hard things in life other than her mother being sick.
“It’s not,” she said. “I won’t pretend my life wasn’t pretty sweet growing up. That’d be stupid of me knowing where I came from and where I work.”
“That’s right.”
“I’ve had too many to count want to be around me for the name,” she said. “Which sucks. And I know, where is the violin?”
“Nope,” he said. “Being used isn’t a good feeling either.”
“Thanks for that. It’s not. My brothers have dealt with it too. You know who Gabe is married to, right?”
“Elise Kennedy,” he said.
“Of Kennedy Construction.”
“And your family and theirs, Olson Law, and Fierce Engineering all have a stake in those two buildings. I know.” He’d seen all the paperwork filed on it. “Some big-named friends you've got.”
“I guess. I don’t have many friends. Elise might be one of my closest now, but she’s family. She’s also pregnant so it's not like I’m going to ask her to do a bunch of things with me.”
“What about the woman you were with days ago?”
“Sara? She had to do that for her job and needed someone to go with her. I figured, why not? I should know it. Especially with a niece or nephew coming. That’s the only reason I went. It’s not like we are all that close. I sure the hell wouldn’t call her to go out for a drink or dinner.”
“Why?”
“Because she’s silly and high maintenance and judgmental. I can only take her in small doses.”
“I heard some whispering the other night. What was that about?”
He wanted to see if it had anything to do with him.
“Sara was making comments about people in the room. How they were doing things and what they were wearing. She said that you were looking at me as if you wanted to eat me alive when you had your hands on me.”
“She’s perceptive,” he said.
Jocelyn laughed. “Did you see the same look back?”
“It’s the only reason I agreed to come to dinner.”
“Oh, now I’m hurt. The only reason?”
“I found out you’re an excellent cook.”
“Considering there are only five foods you won’t eat and they are on my list too, I’m thinking you’d eat a peanut butter sandwich if I served it.”
“Who doesn’t love peanut butter sandwiches?”
She laughed. “See.”
“I know you fill your clothing out well and aren’t too fancy with it.”
“There is no reason to wear anything other than jeans most of the time at work.”
“I don’t do well with high-maintenance chicks.”
“I don’t do well with being called a chick.”
He laughed. “So noted.”
“Do you want some more?”
His plate was cleaned. He’d been eating while they talked. Most of hers was done.
“I’m good. It was great. Thanks again.”
“You’re welcome.”
She stood up and grabbed her plate; he did the same.
They cleaned up together. He liked she didn’t tell him he didn’t need to. It saved them both the argument that he’d win.
“Do you have dessert?” he asked when the dishwasher was on.
She turned to lean on the counter. “I do. A couple of things.”
He stepped in, closing the space between them, invading her personal bubble with deliberate intent. There was no point in pretending anymore, not with everything they were both feeling simmering just beneath the surface.
She’d already called him out on the way he was looking at her days ago. She was doing the same.
“Can I take the one I want?” he asked, his voice low as his hand brushed her cheek, then slid into her hair. The strands were silky against his knuckles and dangerously soft.
“I expect you to,” she said.
His mouth found hers without warning. She met him head-on, parting her lips without hesitation. There was no softness, only fire he hadn’t expected but damn sure welcomed.
Her tongue invaded his mouth first, tangling with his.
He pulled her roughly against him, her chest pressed to his, their hips aligned in a way that left no doubt what he wanted. Or hoped she did.
She let out a low groan, fueling him to deepen the kiss harder, rougher. His lips nearly crushing hers as his hand gripped the back of her head, holding her right where he wanted her.
Her hands slipped around his neck and held on, her nails digging through his shirt.
He was going to lose control of his body any minute if he didn’t step back.
Jocelyn McCarthy might be a lot of things, but a woman who slept with a guy on the first date wasn’t one of them. He was positive of that fact.
And maybe there was part of him that didn’t want her to be like all the other women he’d been with.
He stepped back and gave them both a breather.
“How was that?”
“Better than I imagined it to be,” she said.
“How long have you been thinking of it?”
“For years in school. I always wondered how you’d kiss. I’m positive you’ve perfected your technique in that time. So now I’ll say since I saw you again when I was picking up food. How about you?”
“The same,” he said. “Years ago it was about messing you up some.”
“And now?”
“Now I know you could handle it.”