Chapter 28 Mixed Emotions
MIXED EMOTIONS
“What’s going on, Jocelyn?”
She debated a few seconds before she told her mother. She needed to talk to someone she could trust.
“Well, how much time do you have?”
“All the time you need. I saw Chance go into your office, then leave a few minutes later.”
It was hard to avoid those things when her mother’s office was across the hall and she’d gotten up to shut the door.
“We got a surprise visit last night at his place.”
She filled her mother in on what happened.
“Wow. First, how do you feel about him right now? What you two have?”
“I feel good,” she said. “What we have is fun and I enjoy his company. I believe he feels the same way. I’m developing deeper feelings and I can catch glimpses of it from him.”
She hoped but wouldn’t add that part.
“So now about the child. It’s important you’re in a good spot with him. How do you feel about that news?”
“It’s something that happened years before me. It’s not as if he knew and he was pissed he didn’t.”
“I’m glad you’re taking that stance. Did he tell you about that relationship?”
“There wasn’t much to say. He said they dated for about a month. To the best of his knowledge she wasn’t doing drugs, or if she was, he hadn’t seen it, but he works a lot too. Baylee liked to drink; they met at a bar. They just parted ways after a month. No special reason why.”
“That seems to be what he does, right?”
She sighed. “I think that, but he says no. He’s not like that. He’s always working and most women don’t care that he can’t give them undivided attention. He said Baylee wanted to be together all the time when he wasn’t at the firehouse. He couldn’t do that. Even back then he had other jobs.”
What she gathered was Baylee was needy and Chance wasn’t someone to tolerate it.
Or what they had was only sex.
Probably a combination of both.
“So Baylee is in jail now?”
“Yes. We didn’t talk too much about that situation. What he knows is from talking to Nettie this morning, but he didn’t stay long either. Took care of everything for the DNA test, said a few words, saw Maverick and then left.”
“Kind of cold, don’t you think?” her mother asked.
“He’s in shock. He doesn’t want to open himself up to a child that might not be his.”
“What do you think?”
“I think the child is his and deep down he knows it. I’m making a list of what he needs to buy. I told him that and he appreciated it. He said he doesn’t even know how to change a diaper.”
“It’s not the only thing to worry about. Chance is a stranger to this kid.”
“He’ll still take better care of Maverick than what was being done. I’m going to take the rest of the week off and help get him set.”
“You’re getting ahead of yourself. You don’t even know the results.”
But she felt it in the pit of her stomach.
Mixed emotions.
A tiny bit of excitement just because it was a child and she wanted children.
A massive amount of fear that Chance was going to distance himself from her without even trying because he’d put Maverick first.
She wouldn’t let the distance happen and she hoped what she’d said to him sank in. If not, she’d keep saying it with as many anchors as she could lasso around him for them to take root and not be moved.
“I’m preparing myself for it,” she said.
“Don’t get stars in your eyes. That this is a ready-made family for you to save the day.”
“Please,” she said, waving her hand. “No way that can happen. This is an odd situation.”
“And it’s only going to get more complicated. Ask yourself if you want to get wrapped up in it.”
“I’m not leaving him alone to do this. He’s been alone most of his life.”
“Feeling sorry for someone isn’t the reason to stay with them.”
“I’m not doing that, Mom. I care for Chance. I told you I had feelings for him.”
“Are you falling in love with him? We barely got you to admit you were dating him.”
“I’m not sure if it’s love. I’ve felt that before and both times it’s ended poorly. This is different.”
“Different, how?” her mother asked.
“I can’t explain it. It’s fast. It’s urgent. The need to see him and worry when he’s at work.”
“Which job?”
“The firehouse. I don’t worry about him at the bar. Not that I think he’s flirting or anything like that.”
Which was funny considering his background and what had happened yesterday, but she remembered the comment between two strange women with her that one night she sought Chance out. That he was great for a night and nothing more because of what he did for a living.
Chance could see right through that and wouldn’t lower himself.
She believed he was an honorable guy. She always thought that when others turned their nose.
But she’d seen parts of him that many didn’t when they were in school.
Skyler Jones, class nerd being picked on, and Chance standing up to the bully doing it. Chance got suspended for fighting, Skyler never defended him.
Back to no one in Chance’s corner.
She wouldn’t be another number in the tally.
“I’m glad you feel that way. You know your father and I will help any way we can.”
“I know,” she said. “I’m sure Chance will appreciate it. I’ve got so many questions but don’t want to bombard him with them. Getting him in touch with Monica will take care of things from a legal standpoint. She’ll make sure Maverick doesn’t go into foster care.”
“Is there a concern if he’s with his grandmother?”
“Nettie showed up because she said she couldn’t do it anymore. Baylee was arrested Saturday night. Nettie didn’t know until a few hours before she showed up at Chance’s. I guess it’s a good thing Baylee had been to Chance’s before to say where she thought he’d lived and Nettie found it.”
“I don’t know why this woman would have kept that information from Chance. Relationship or not, she probably could have used the financial support.”
“Your guess is as good as mine. I’m positive Chance will find out what he can as soon as he can. For now, I’ve got a cart full of things to have at my apartment also. So it’s easier than bringing things back and forth.”
“And there you go. Planning things the way you always do. Don’t get yourself in trouble over that.”
“Thanks for the warning, Mom. But this time, Chance needs someone in his life to do it. I know. And if he doesn’t see it, I’ll make sure he does.”
Her mother shook her head. “I don’t want to give you advice.”
“Then stop. Because you are.”
Her mother rolled her eyes. “You always do things your way.”
“And I won’t stop now. I know what I’m doing.”
When she returned to her office, her phone dinged on her desk and she saw it was from Chance asking if he could see the list she was making.
She grinned, went to her notes section, copied and pasted it for him.
Her phone rang a second later.
“There are almost twenty things on that list,” he said. He sounded in pain.
“That’s just the tip of the iceberg,” she said.
“Jesus,” he said. “I don’t remember any of those things when I was a kid.”
“And you wouldn’t. At least you don’t need a crib. Nettie said Maverick sleeps with her.”
“I’m not doing that.”
“I didn’t think so, which is why there is a toddler bed to start. Or you can get a twin bed with rails. Your choice, but you don’t have a lot of room.”
“I’m moving shit around now,” he said. “I don’t know how I’m going to fit anything in this place.”
“One day at a time, Chance.”
“I know. I know.”
He sounded stressed. With reason.
“Do you want me to come over and help you?”
“No. I’ll need your help soon enough. I know it. Jocelyn?”
“Yeah.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” she said softly.
She hung up and saw her mother standing in the doorway. “You’ve got this.”
“That’s right, I do.”
Until she saw the text from her twin pop up wanting to find out more about this guy she was dating.
Talk about shitty timing.
She didn’t understand why he was so interested now and she wouldn’t be bothered explaining when half the time Jayce was too preoccupied with his job to even listen to her talk.
A problem for another day.