Chapter 32 Seat Of Their Pants
SEAT OF THEIR PANTS
“Why won’t he go to sleep?” Chance asked.
“It’s a new place,” she said. “And Nettie said he slept with her at night.”
“I’m not letting him sleep in my bed,” he said. “I can’t do it.”
She sighed. “I won’t disagree with you. Everyone parents differently. I think the only reason Nettie did that was because he had nowhere else to sleep and it was just easier for her to monitor him at night than worry he’d be running around the trailer after getting out of bed.”
“Fuck. I didn’t think of that.”
They were lying on their backs in bed while Maverick was crying in the room next to them. She wondered how thin the walls were here and if he’d get a neighbor complaint.
Nothing she could do about it. Maybe the tears were getting on her nerves too, but it wasn’t her kid to tell Chance what to do either.
“He’s never been in bed by himself,” she said. “So he’s in a room, in a new place, in the playpen again. Maybe it’s not that comfortable.”
“He napped in it.”
“Because he was exhausted,” she said. She threw the covers back.
“Where are you going?”
“To get him and walk around. If I can get him to fall asleep on my shoulder again, I can lay him down like last time. Some kids need that. We don’t know any of those things.”
Because Nettie hadn’t volunteered. She asked as many questions as she could while she was there but didn’t want to text without Chance knowing.
There was a line she was trying hard not to jump over. Not even tiptoe over.
Chance got out of bed with her.
“Maybe I should do it,” he said. “He has to get used to me. You won’t be here every night.”
She wouldn’t let those words bother her. They were the truth.
It was a fact.
She didn’t expect them to spend every night together, even if she was looking at more of a future with him than she had any other man.
More than she had even days ago.
She didn’t want to think Maverick had anything to do with it. Or that Chance would need her so much that he’d fall in love with her for those reasons.
Stupid on her part and it just told her she was as exhausted as the child was.
“You should,” she said.
He had to bond with his son at some point. She knew he was trying through his anger.
The looks she’d caught Chance sending Maverick. The two of them playing on the floor together, Chance fixing dinner, then watching carefully how he cut up the pieces of chicken, cooked carrots, and mac and cheese.
The toddler plowed through the food again and she worried that maybe he hadn’t been given enough before.
Between the two cups of milk with dinner, and what she thought was a full plate, then snacks later, she worried they’d have another bellyache on their hands.
Maybe that was it again.
It’d been an hour of tears that didn’t want to let up, so Chance pushed the door open. Maverick was standing in the playpen, his arms out reaching for them the minute he saw them.
Chance had his son in his arms, and the toddler quieted down almost the minute he was held, gripping Chance’s neck.
“He’s scared,” he said. “At least I think so. I don’t want him in bed with us, but do you think it’d hurt to put the playpen in there?”
She was going to suggest that but didn’t know if that might start bad habits that would be pushed off and have to be dealt with in the future or not.
“You could,” she said. They were walking around the living room with Maverick settling into soft sniffles and a few sighs.
“Or you can sit in the room with him so he knows it’s safe.
He’ll learn it’s his room and not yours.
My mother used to lie in my bed with me when I couldn’t sleep.
I’d fall asleep with her there but wake up in the morning and she’d be gone. ”
“I like that idea better,” he said.
The longer they walked around the living room, the quieter Maverick got.
“I think he might be sleeping,” she whispered.
They moved back to the toddler’s room, Chance leaning down and setting his son down in there, then covering him with the blanket. “Do we go back to my room or stay here now?”
Her head went back and forth. “Let’s just sit here a minute and see what he might do.”
They sat on the bed together that had to settle for a day, and watched as Maverick turned a few times, made sure his pacifier was still in his mouth from when Chance grabbed it as they walked around the room.
Maverick’s eyes opened and locked on Chance close by, then shut, his little body almost sighing into a deep sleep.
Ten minutes later, Jocelyn stood and nodded her head, the two of them leaving the room and shutting the door, just leaving it open a crack. There was a nightlight plugged in because she imagined no young child wanted to sit in the dark in a strange place.
“How long do you think that is going to last?” he asked when they climbed back in bed.
“Who knows? We should try to get some sleep if we can.”
She’d noticed that it was eleven when they were walking around. Maybe they had put Maverick to bed too late, but he hadn’t wanted to go down.
His nap was two hours long and he got up at four. Then she’d played with him while Chance put the new bed together.
Dinner wasn’t until close to six, then Maverick was busy exploring everything in the apartment, playing with new toys, and seemed to have a good time.
They’d bathed him and put his clean new pajamas on, gave him his pacifier, but the boy wanted no part of it, rather wanted to run around the house.
Neither of them wanted to be too forceful, but they’d have to figure those things out.
Or Chance would.
It was like flying by the seat of their pants.
“Do you think I should call Nettie tomorrow and ask more questions?” he asked in the dark. She’d thought he was trying to sleep since a few minutes had gone by.
“That’s up to you,” she said.
“I don’t want to. I should, but I just feel as if there was no routine at all. If there was, don’t you think she would have volunteered it?”
“I agree with you.”
It was something she was grappling with. That this woman was so easily ready to hand the kid off and not even give them a quick rundown of what he liked to eat, what time he went to bed, any stories or shows, nothing.
It broke her heart some to think Maverick might have been ignored more than interacted with.
“I know you like kids, but it’s not as if you’ve got a lot of experience with this either, right?”
“Right. I’m sure your grandmother could be more helpful. My mother too if you want to let her.”
“I’m willing to let everyone do what they can. And I don’t let many in.”
She turned and put her head on his chest. “You let me in.”
“I did,” he said, sighing. “I’d be lost right now if you weren’t here and taking control of everything. And trust me, you have no idea how hard it is for me to say that.”
She kissed his chest, her hand moving around his abs. “I know. I’m good like that.”
He let out a forced laugh. “Not cocky in the least.”
“Just stating a fact. It’s going to be rough, you know that.”
“I do. It’s not the first or the last difficult thing that will cross my path.”
“Not even close.”
He yawned. “I’m used to not getting much sleep, but the last few days have been draining.”
“Emotions can wear on you more than physical fatigue. Where is the lavender you told me about? Maybe we should try it.”
“Really?”
“Yep. You’re tense and need to relax. I know another way to do it, but I think you need comfort differently. I could be wrong.”
“For tonight, you’re right.”
He got up and turned a light on, opened a drawer and pulled out a spray bottle.
“What’s that?”
“Lavender oil that is diluted. I spritz it around the room and on the comforter so if I pull it up close I can smell it. Not so much on my pillow.”
“Go on, give me a lavender rain dance.”
He laughed. “You’re ridiculous.”
“You like me that way.”
He walked around the room spraying the scent. She had to admit it was soothing to her senses. He didn’t overdo it on the sheets, but it was a pleasant smell.
Once he was done, he climbed back into bed. “Not too much?”
“Nope,” she said. “They have bubble bath for kids with this scent. I should have gotten it. I didn’t want to overdo anything not knowing what he might tolerate.”
“We can try it another time.” He pulled her closer to him so she was under his arm. “Jocelyn?”
“Yes.”
“I’m really messed up in the head right now. You should know that.”
It took a lot for him to admit that. “Aren’t we all?”
“I know you’re trying to make me feel better. I don’t know if anything can. But I don’t want to hurt you just because my life is out of control.”
“Maybe I don’t want to hurt you either.”
“I’ve got more to think about than just myself. More on the line.”
“And it’s sexy,” she said.
He laughed. “Really?”
“Guys with kids and dogs. Total turn on. Don’t you know that?”
“I didn’t. Not that it would have made me go out and get either of those things.”
“You’ve got one now,” she said.
“Just wish I knew two years ago,” he mumbled.
“Don’t harp on the past, Chance. The man I know now doesn’t. You’re only going to let it take you down if you do.”
He pulled her on top of him.
“You’re right. I’m feeling sorry for myself when I should focus on my son.”
She smiled in the dark. He couldn’t see her. “That’s right. Focus on your son. He needs you.”
Just like I do, but I’d never put that on your shoulders.