Chapter 35 Something Different
SOMETHING DIFFERENT
“How is it going with the little guy?”
Chance turned his head from where he was looking at his phone. The next shift was coming in and he’d be off for six days now.
“Better,” he said.
It’d been almost a month since he had known of his son’s existence. Daycare was in place quickly, which allowed him to get Maverick used to it before he started back on his rotation.
In thirty minutes he’d be out of here for six days and could work at the pub and relieve his grandmother some.
“Where is Maverick at night?” Justin asked.
He wasn’t one to always air out his personal life, but this was something that couldn’t be hidden. He could have taken another rotation off, but there wasn’t a need for it. He’d rather save his time for the future. Maybe he needed the routine back in his life also.
“With Jocelyn,” he said. Which he hated. But his grandmother took Maverick one night and he could tell it didn’t go well.
She needed her sleep and Maverick didn’t want to go down. They had nights like that and it was still a work in progress. But he and Jocelyn were young enough to handle it, his grandmother not so much.
And maybe he remembered he hadn’t always gotten a gentle hand as a child growing up. Did he turn out okay? Sure. But he wanted something different for his son.
Something he’d always craved. That wasn’t horrible of him to think that way.
“Things seem to be moving pretty fast there,” Justin said.
No shit. In a little over two months he had his first relationship in years. Someone he trusted enough with his child and leaned on more than he had any other person.
She held his heart in her hands, but he hadn’t said it once. Hadn’t even led on to it.
“I guess,” he said. No reason to let on anything he was feeling. He never had with anyone before.
Justin laughed. “I have to say we were all shocked when we found out you had a son.”
“No shit,” he said. “Try being me.”
“Hey, if you need anything, you can call on any of us. Some wives on the squad would watch him. You know that. We are in this together.”
He knew, but no one had ever offered it to him before. “Thanks, man. I appreciate it. I’m still afloat, which is better than I thought a few weeks ago.”
“Got any plans for Thanksgiving? Or are you working at the pub?”
“I’m closed tomorrow,” he said. He was open last year and didn’t have a huge turnout. It was best to give his staff the day off.
He’d be crazy busy tonight though. Blackout Wednesday or Drinksgiving was always a big day at the bar.
“Just going to be you and your son?”
“I’m going to Jocelyn’s for the holiday with Maverick,” he said.
His grandmother told him she had plans with friends to go to dinner. He encouraged her to go and said he wouldn’t be alone. She was invited to the McCarthy’s also but had declined.
That might have been moving too fast in his eyes, but right now he was lucky his brakes worked if he needed them.
He turned when the first guy for the next shift came in. “You go,” Justin said. “No one is going to care and half aren’t even down yet.”
Normally he was the last one to leave, sending others before him, or at least one of the last. This time he was going to take Justin up on it.
“Thanks.”
He grabbed his things out of his locker, then drove to Jocelyn’s to get Maverick to bring to daycare. Jocelyn had offered to do it for him and there might be a day he’d have to take her up on it, but for now, they needed to get his son used to seeing him and then being dropped off.
The first day hadn’t gone so well with Maverick crying. Just seeing him and then dropping him off, but the last few times Maverick was happy to go to daycare.
He wished he knew what went through his son’s mind, but at two, he was lucky he could understand the jabbering that was coming more frequently.
Hearing the doctor say that Maverick was behind developmentally had been another kick in the gut. Every day he and Jocelyn were reading to Mav, teaching him simple things like animals and letters and colors. Every moment was a learning opportunity in his mind.
Daycare was working out better than he thought since they were teaching the kids too and not just entertaining them or letting them run around and free play or watch TV.
In his mind, that was what he thought of with childcare. A home setting more than a structure. Would have been cheaper he was sure!
Ten minutes later, he was knocking on Jocelyn’s door. She opened it and Maverick came running.
“Da, Da, Da,” his son said.
If anyone told him his heart could swell ten times the size over hearing those syllables, he’d tell them to get the fuck out.
“Hey, Mav,” he said, picking him up and putting him on his hip. “How was he last night?”
“Good,” she said, moving forward for a kiss that he easily handed over. “He was excited to see me when I got him at daycare, then we had elbow pasta and meatballs. He had two bowls.”
“I saw the pictures,” he said. He liked her sending him pictures at work. Maverick was eating pasta with sauce all over his face and hands. He was glad he didn’t have to clean that mess up, but Jocelyn never seemed to mind.
Or that her apartment had almost as much stuff in it as his place had. He understood her not wanting to stay at his house when her things were here.
He wasn’t so sure that if he went home he’d want to leave to bring Maverick to daycare either and would have tried to push through with little sleep. Not smart on his end either.
“Then he took a bath and we read two stories.”
“Book,” Maverick said.
“Hey,” he said. “That’s right. Good job.”
“He comprehends more than we realize. He’s picking up a lot of new words too.”
“I’m glad to hear that. Feels as if he’s putting some weight on too.”
“With the way he eats, definitely,” she said.
Maverick was in the top percentile for height but the lowest in weight. Just another thing he walked away from the doctor pissed about. But that was an easy fix in his eyes.
The hardest part was not overfeeding his kid because Mav wanted food so much.
“Okay, buddy. Dad is getting tired and needs some sleep.”
“No nap,” Maverick said, his eyebrows pushing up.
He laughed. “Not you. Me. You get to go play with your friends.”
Maverick bounced on his hip. “I think he likes it there. Here is his bag and his lunch all set.”
He gave her one more kiss. “I’ll talk to you later and we’ll figure out what time you want us to come over tomorrow.”
“You’re not coming back tonight?”
“No,” he said. “I want him to spend more time in his room and home. I wonder if he’s getting confused moving back and forth between places like this.”
Her head went back and forth. “He seems fairly adaptable, which is a great trait for sure.”
“Yeah. I’ll talk to you later.”
She smiled when he turned to leave. He knew it was forced and would try to get to the bottom of it later.
He pulled the door open to the daycare with Maverick walking next to him holding his hand, his little backpack on his shoulders.
“Morning, Maverick,” Miss Anne said. “We’ve got a fun day scheduled today.”
Maverick let go of his hand and took off running for the worker who greeted them. He should be happy his kid was so happy to be here, but there was part of him that wondered if everyone was just entertainment.
Did that mean his son wasn’t getting attached to him now?
“Bye, Mav,” he said.
His son turned and gave him a toothy smile while Miss Anne took the backpack off and led him past the security doors.
It was the best feature of this place to him. No way did he have to worry about Nettie coming to get his son without his knowledge.
Not that he feared that nor that Nettie even knew where Maverick came daily.
Nettie stopped over for one visit in the past three weeks, said Maverick seemed settled and it was best if she let him get used to his new life.
Relief and anger fought a battle within him over that.
He didn’t know which he wanted to win.
His son deserved better than being abandoned, but he also knew it was for the best that they forged their lives.
A life that he was seeing not alone. And not just with a son in it.
But he wasn’t so sure he had the courage to let Jocelyn know.