Chapter 5
Padraig eased the door closed behind him once his father, Innes, and Duncan preceded him into the laird’s solar. Innes rounded on him and leaned so far forward their noses nearly touched.
“Disgraceful,” Innes hissed. “If she says one more word aboot my lass, the wedding is off.”
“Hold on now, Kennedy,” Micheil intervened. “The lad has had his eye on Myrna for years. It came as a surprise that the king ordered Padraig to marry your daughter. He needs a period of adjustment, a chance to get used to the idea.”
“He’s had two bluidy moons to get used to it!” Innes erupted.
“Two moons? Nay. I learned of the betrothal a fortnight ago,” Padraig corrected.
“Then that is between you and your father, but this betrothal was set and signed two moons ago.” Innes cracked his knuckles as he continued to block Padraig against the door.
Padraig wasn’t about to test who would win if it came to fisticuffs with his soon-to-be father-by-marriage.
The man might have been smaller than him, but Innes was an irate father.
The only thing scarier would have been Collette staring him down.
He hadn’t been able to meet the woman’s eye after Myrna began taunting Cairren.
The woman’s disgust radiated from her, and Padraig had felt like the direct recipient of her disdain.
Rightly so. I doubt I could have mucked this up any more if I’d tried. I didna mean to hurt the lass’s feelings or dishonor her, but I certainly managed that and more. I need to sort things out with Myrna and send her to Balnagown until I can see her again without upsetting the apple cart.
“Guilty is written across your face,” Innes growled.
“You’re planning to set Myrna aside long enough to marry Cairren, then you’ll figure out how to see her.
Don’t you think my daughter wanted something else for her life than a mon who rejected her before you even met?
If King Robert hadn’t insisted, I would have taken her just aboot anywhere but here. ”
“This is my home, and you will not insult my family,” Micheil insisted, but he snapped his mouth shut when Innes rounded on him.
“And this is now my daughter’s home, and she is part of your family.
Yet neither of you have protected her.” Innes turned away from Micheil and looked back at Padraig.
He lowered his voice, so only Padraig could hear.
“She doesn’t deserve this. If you hurt her, I will tear your clan asunder.
You may not ken, but I am Tristan Mackay’s godfather.
His father and I fought together in France.
Our clans are allies. With the Mackays come the Sinclairs and Sutherlands, who now count the MacLeods as allies too.
That seems to name most of your neighbors. ”
Padraig narrowed his eyes, not appreciating being threatened within his home, but he wisely remained silent. While he chafed at the warning, he understood the man’s need to ensure his daughter’s wellbeing. “Lady Cairren will be well taken care of, I assure you.”
Innes’s look of revulsion made Padraig feel like a chastised wean. “How very pretty of you to say. You still haven’t promised to set your other woman aside. I don’t think you’re yet mon enough to be a husband.”
Innes pulled folded parchments from his doublet and moved to the table in the center of the chamber.
He spread out the contracts, and the conversation shifted to the practical discussion of how Cairren’s dowry would be delivered since they hadn’t brought everything.
There was also discussion over the bride price.
Without saying it in so many words, Micheil tried to negotiate that Padraig was receiving less than the finest quality goods.
Innes stood to his full height and stared at Micheil until the Highlander backed down and mumbled an apology for insinuating Innes’s daughter was an unsatisfactory object.
Padraig remained silent throughout the meeting as he watched the difference between his father and Innes.
Micheil was patronizing and condescending while Innes’s temper settled, and the latter came across as the more reasonable man.
Innes’s insistence on the terms the two lairds had already brokered were in Cairren’s best interest. He seemed unconcerned about their impact on his clan, and Padraig realized how much more financially stable the Kennedys must have been than the Munros.
Ongoing animosity with the Mackenzies had cost the Munros greatly.
Razed fields along with dead and stolen cattle depleted their funds and made Padraig’s marriage to a woman with a substantial dowry a necessity.
Without the income, it would be several years before his clan rallied again.
It would keep them weak, and with the Mackenzies and Camerons breathing down their neck, they couldn’t afford to lose.
Padraig had to admit that he respected Innes’s forthrightness and savvy negotiating skills.
He easily backed Padraig’s hotheaded father into a corner more than once.
But despite his growing appreciation for Innes, Padraig sensed the man’s estimation of him continued to sink.
Padraig couldn’t name why that bothered him, but he found he disliked the sense of disappointing Innes.
When they concluded their business, Innes left to find his family, and the Munro men remained in the laird’s solar.
“Catch the bitch in heat and get her with child. Once you have your son, you can ignore her. Perhaps a croft in an outlying village would suit her,” Micheil huffed.
Padraig couldn’t believe his ears. His father’s words stunned him.
He’d never heard his father speak of a lady in such a vulgar manner, and he couldn’t believe he was advocating Padraig abandon her.
“You can’t be serious,” Padraig spluttered.
“As serious as a wart on a witch’s lip,” Micheil snarled. “The king never mentioned he’d be sending us some brown bitch to pollute our clan. She’s a disgrace. How Innes Kennedy can show either of those women’s faces in public is beyond me.”
“You don’t even know her,” Padraig argued. “How can you be so certain she’s that horrible?”
Micheil surveyed his son before sneering. “Let your cock have its fun. Swive her until you tire of her. But she’s naught more than a disgusting heathen.”
Duncan had remained silent throughout the meeting but chose that moment to voice his opinion.
“I wonder if her mother taught her the tricks of French courtiers? It’s obvious the woman is Saracen.
Perhaps she’s taught your wee bride how to service a mon like the women do in those harems the Crusaders tell stories of.
” The speculative gleam in Duncan’s eyes made Padraig wary.
His brother already had a wife, and Duncan was far too excited about Cairren for Padraig’s taste.
He glared at Duncan until his brother took the hint.
“I’m going for that walk with Myrna,” Padraig announced.
Padraig breathed easy for the first time since the Kennedys arrived.
He strolled along the loch with Myrna’s hand safely tucked in his, just as they had done for the past two years.
They’d met as children, and their parents made it clear that they expected a match between them, but Padraig had waited until Myrna was of an age to marry without him feeling like he would bed a child.
Now at eight-and-ten, Myrna was a desirable woman ready to marry.
Padraig glanced down at her and couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t been in love with her.
Myrna stopped and turned toward Padraig, tears brimming in her eyes. “This is just wretched. It’s so unfair, Padraig. Tomorrow’s wedding is supposed to be ours. What will I do without you? How will I go on?”
“Wheest,” Padraig cooed as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her temple. “This is just as hard for me, and I am just as heartbroken.”
Myrna jerked away. “I doubt that. I saw how you looked at her. You want to bed her. You desire her,” Myrna accused.
“I will have to bed her, Myrna. She’ll be my wife. But that doesn’t mean I’ll enjoy it, nor does it mean I want to.”
“That’s not what it looked like to me,” Myrna argued. “It looked like you want her more than you do me.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Padraig scoffed.
“Is it? I have never objected to you coupling with other women. Men have needs. I wasn’t old enough to wed. But now I know whose bed you’re going to. I’ll have to watch you during the bedding ceremony. Another ceremony that should have been mine,” Myrna wailed. “You’ll have to touch—that.”
Padraig attempted to console Myrna, but the more he tried to sooth her, the more distraught she became. It was an hour’s ride to the Ross’s keep, and Padraig considered taking Myrna home, but when he suggested it, she erupted.
“You’re kicking me out? How dare you! You want to be able to tup your little bride without having to look me in the eye the next morning. You’re abandoning me for—for—that!”
Myrna’s repeated referral to Cairren as “that” chafed, and Padraig stood to his full height. “I was trying to spare you and protect you, just as I have sworn to always do. I would keep you from being hurt by everything that will happen tomorrow, Myrna.”
“I don’t trust her,” Myrna seethed.
“Don’t trust her? What is it you think she’ll do?”
“She’s already trying to seduce you.”
“Seduce me?” Padraig was incredulous. Cairren appeared more likely to tear off his head and spit down his throat before inviting him into her bed. “Hardly.”
“You haven’t denied that you’re eager to bed her,” Myrna countered.
“I didn’t realize I needed to, since that isn’t the case.
” Well, ma mind might nae be eager even if ma body is.
Myrna needs to go. What will I do if ma cock points at Cairren tomorrow eve right there with Myrna watching?
She’d never forgive me. But if today’s been any sign, it’ll be at full attention before the chamber door closes.
Myrna sobbed, “Don’t kick me out. Please, Padraig. Let me stay. I just want to be near you.”
Padraig’s heart ached for the desperation in Myrna’s voice, and he couldn’t bring himself to deny her anything.
“Very well. But Mother’s lie can’t become the truth.
You won’t be able to stay here permanently.
If for no other reason than it would destroy your reputation to remain after I marry.
People will speculate that we’re carrying on an affair. ”
“Would that really be so bad? I mean to have an affair. It’s the closest—”
“No,” Padraig interrupted. “Absolutely not. I will not take you as my mistress. You are a lady, gently bred, who must be a maiden when she weds.”
“If I can’t marry you, then who would want me? Obviously, I don’t have the dowry needed to make a clan want me.”
“That’s not true. Oh Myrna, I don’t want to imagine you in the arms of another mon. It tears at my soul, but one day you will be another mon’s wife. I can’t take what isn’t mine. Your maidenhead will belong to another.”
“It belongs to me!” Myrna hissed. “Why don’t you want me anymore?”
“I do. I’ll never stop wanting you,” Padraig insisted. “But I won’t ruin your future. I love you too much.”
Myrna whimpered, and Padraig pulled her back into his embrace, but she pulled away once more. Padraig’s stomach clenched at the gleam in Myrna’s eyes.
“If you must bed that whore because it’s your duty, I can overlook you being with another woman. If I return to you no longer an innocent, then you won’t have wronged me.”
“What?” Padraig’s arms dropped from Myrna’s waist. “You would toss your skirts up for some other mon just so you could slip into my bed next?”
“If I’m no longer an innocent, then you won’t have taken aught that doesn’t belong to you. Someone else will have.”
“No.” Padraig shook his head.
“No?” Myrna mimicked. “Are you suggesting you’ll be faithful to the heathen?”
“What? No. Yes. I don’t know.” Padraig shook his head, unable to keep up with Myrna’s unexpected train of thought.
He’d always intended to be faithful to his wife, but until a fortnight ago, he’d always thought he’d marry Myrna.
He hadn’t considered taking a leman, and he’d never imagined making Myrna his mistress.
None of it sat right with him. He might not want to marry Cairren–in fact he dreaded it–but even he could see she didn’t deserve an unfaithful husband.
If he couldn’t offer her his heart, at least he could offer her fidelity.
“As much as I despise what I will have to do, I will make a pledge before God to keep myself only unto my wife. That will be Cairren. And I won’t disgrace you, Myrna. ”
“So, you’re choosing her over me,” Myrna demanded.
“I’m choosing honor,” Padraig countered.
Myrna squinted. “Honor won’t pleasure you the way I hope to.”
Padraig’s eyes widened. They’d shared many kisses over the two years he’d courted her, some less chaste than others, but they had never gone beyond that.
“Don’t look so horrified. I have two married sisters. They’ve explained things to me.” Myrna’s eyes narrowed once more. “I probably still know less than your slattern bride.”
Padraig opened his mouth, but his thought died when movement in the distance caught his eye.
He turned to see Cairren and Collette returning to the keep, each with a basket of wildflowers over their arm.
Half a dozen Kennedy guardsmen surrounded them.
They weren’t close enough to hear Myrna and his conversation, but it was likely the mother and daughter spotted the couple before Padraig noticed them.
He knew how incriminating it would appear.
As the women drew nearer, he observed Cairren’s chin notch up an inch, but she studiously ignored him.
Collette didn’t spare them a glance either.
“We should go,” Padraig muttered once the women had their backs to Myrna and him.
“Chasing after her already like she’s a bitch in heat,” Myrna snapped. Padraig stared at Myrna for a long moment before he took her arm and steered her toward the keep in silence. Myrna and Micheil both described Cairren the same way, but the only one who seemed like a bitch was Myrna.