Chapter 19 #2
Padraig ran his hand through his hair and decided honesty might work for once.
“Because I want to see you in my plaid. Because I’m furious that I had to watch another mon hold you in his arms and watch you offer him smiles I’ve never seen before.
I’m angry at my family and Myrna for how they’ve treated you.
I’ll kill whoever’s been making threats against you, and I will find out who.
I’m disgusted with myself for being such a cowardly bastard for not treating you properly.
Because I just want one night for you where you aren’t scared or abused.
You deserve far more, but that’s what I can guarantee you right now. ”
Cairren was about to take pity on Padraig when she recalled what she’d heard that morning as she slipped out of the keep.
She’d spotted Myrna entering her chamber as her maid opened the door.
In the silent keep, her voice carried. “I barely made it out in time. He wouldn’t let go!
” Cairren’s eyes swept over Padraig’s bed.
The one where she’d spent one night, and Myrna seemed to have spent all the others.
She walked to the door, but before she could pull it open, Padraig’s hand covered hers on the handle.
She ripped hers away and shoved his chest.
“Leave me alone,” Cairren hissed. “Don’t crowd me and don’t trap me here.”
“Trap you here? I’m trying to keep you safe, and we agreed you would stay here while your clansmen are visiting.”
“I agreed because I didn’t know what else to say at the moment, but now that I’m here, I can’t stay. Besides, what will Myrna say if she shows up, and I’m here? Or does she know to expect you at her chamber?”
“What’re you talking aboot? Do you mean so she kens when we’ll leave in the morn?”
“No, I mean so you can bed her like you do every night.”
“Bed her? Now you’re just making shite up.”
“I am not,” Cairren seethed. “I’m not the liar of the two of us.”
“Neither am I. I’ve been honest aboot the situation from the start.”
“Selectively, at best. But you are lying now. I’ve heard her talking aboot it.”
“You’ve been spying on Myrna?”
“That’s rich. You assume I’m in the wrong. You’re not denying that you’re bedding her. You’re accusing me of spying. Go to hell.” Cairren reached for the door again, but Padraig stepped in front of her.
“How else would you know what she’s been saying? Mayhap not spying, but eavesdropping.”
Cairren held up her forefinger. “The first time I heard her, I was going downstairs while she and her maid were aboot to enter her chamber. They were discussing the miraculous things you do with your tongue. Apparently, it’s so good, she’d steal the crown jewels for it.
I wouldn’t ken.” She held up a second finger.
“The next time, I was trying to hide from Duncan when I heard them in the passageway outside the storeroom. I learned she likes it when you take her against the wall.” She held up a third finger.
“And this very morn I heard aboot how she barely made it out of your chamber in time. You couldn’t keep your bluidy hands off her.
She’s expecting you tonight, so you should go and avoid being late.
” Cairren stepped back and crossed her arms, her toes tapping, and her eyebrow cocked.
She appeared bored as she waited for Padraig to move.
“You’re lying, and it’s ugly,” Padraig accused.
“Oh, because it’s not possible that you’d forsake your vows so you can rut with your pretty and perfect lady.”
“It’s not possible because I haven’t. Other than that kiss you saw in the garden, I haven’t touched her. Or at least, there have been no other intimacies.”
“Then how do you explain what I heard?”
“You must be mistaken.”
“It’s always so much easier to believe I’m wrong than to accept that she’s not perfect. I hate you.” Cairren snapped her mouth shut, not having intended to hurl such a venomous phrase, but in that moment, she meant it with her whole heart.
Padraig straightened and looked down at Cairren.
Her words stung, and he wanted to lash out, but he forced himself to stop and think for once before he acted.
Cairren wasn’t a liar, and it was easier to believe she was wrong than try to wrap his mind around what she told him.
It was easier to paint her as the villain and keep his pristine image of Myrna intact.
“Perhaps she knew you were there each time and was trying to hurt you.”
“And that makes it all right? That you’re not actually bedding her. She just wants to cause me pain.” Cairren shook her head.
“Mayhap. It’s not right, and I’m not excusing it, but I know I have slept alone every night that I haven’t been with you since you arrived. I have never coupled with Myrna. I’ve never done more than kiss her.”
Cairren’s lips drew in tight as she nodded her head.
“No wonder you want to couple with me. You don’t dare defile her, but you’re frustrated that you can only kiss her.
Why not use your wife to slake your lust?
I’m telling you now, like I told you the night you visited my chamber before my parents left.
Leave me alone, or I will scream this keep down. Move.”
“And where will you go?” Padraig demanded. “To Alex?”
“Yes!” Cairren hurled at him. She didn’t know where she intended to go, but she wanted to hurt Padraig.