Chapter 24 #2
Padraig wiped his blade on the man’s leine and sheathed it. He ran up to the battlements, looking for Cairren. He couldn’t see her near the loch or toward the tree line. She wasn’t within sight in the village. He was starting to panic.
“Padraig!” Matthew ran up to him. “She’s in the shade by the loch.
She likes to sit on the rocks and splash her feet in the water.
I dinna ken where she went earlier. She went much further than usual and I couldnae follow her, but she usually doesnae go beyond where she can still see the keep’s outline. ”
“How do ye ken?”
“I keep an eye on her. Timothy wouldnae let any of us accompany her, even though there are a few of us who disagreed with him. Ye ken Meg’s ma cousin, and I ken what Lady Cairren’s done for wee Katie and the other weans. I dinna think it’s right that she nae have someone guarding her.”
“And why didna ye come and inform me of this?” Padraig demanded, but he knew the answer before Matthew answered.
“I didna ken how ye would react if I did. I figured it was better to keep an eye on ma lady than to have ye say nay one should.” Matthew shrugged, embarrassed.
“Are ye the only one who watches out for her? Would ye agree to be her guard?”
“I would be honored to. And nay, I’m nae the only one.
Henry, Peter, and Dougal take turns with me keeping watch.
” Matthew looked sheepish for a moment before he lifted his chin.
“We’ve followed her before, Padraig. Nae because we suspect her of aught, but like I said, it didna sit right with us that she was outside the wall alone. And well, we feel sorry for her.”
Now that Padraig knew where Cairren was, and his heart slowed, he wanted to know more about what Cairren did when she left the keep. He took a deep breath, and his burr slipped away as easily at it had appeared. “Does she leave for very long?”
“Before the Kennedys visited, she would leave before the morning meal and come back as the sun set.”
“That long?” Padraig looked out at the loch. “What did she do for that long?”
“Walk mostly. A large circle around the keep, village, and loch. Like I said, never so far that she canna see the keep. But Padraig, we didna realize what she was doing for several sennights. Someone could’ve nabbed her or killed her with nay chance of making it back to the keep.
I dinna ken that anyone would go to her aid if she cried out.
Henry, Peter, Dougal, and I make sure we’re never on patrol together anymore.
As least two of us accompany her whenever we can, even if she doesnae ken it.
At the least, we watch her from the battlements. ”
“Besides going for walks, how else does she spend all those hours?”
“Sometimes she rides. That makes it harder for us to follow without her noticing, but when she sees us, I think she assumes we’re on patrol.
She sits in the meadow a lot, daydreaming sometimes, reading others.
She paddles in the loch and picks flowers.
I’ve seen nay one skip a stone as many times as she does. ”
Padraig continued to look out at the loch.
The youthful man standing next to him knew more about how his wife spent her days than he did.
Matthew and three other men had cared more for his wife’s safety than he had.
He’d assumed that she asked for a guard and was escorted everywhere she went beyond the village.
It never dawned on him that any of the guardsmen would dare turn her down.
But Innes’s words came back to him: where you lead, they will follow.
Timothy said very much the same thing. They assumed he didn’t care enough about her.
But to know that members of his clan thought he would welcome her demise so he could marry Myrna was more than he could bear.
He still wished he was married to Myrna, though the sentiment seemed to grow weaker each day, more a familiarity than an emotion, but he never wished Cairren would come to harm.
The consuming protectiveness that he only seemed to experience with Cairren surged through his veins.
“You, Peter, Dougal, and Henry are now my wife’s personal guards. I don’t want her to go beyond the village without the four of you with her. She’s not to pass through the gates without at least one of you when she goes to the village.”
“Yes, Padraig.” Matthew pulled his lips in as he considered sharing one more piece of information. “Padraig, she cries every day. Sometimes it’s just tears, but many times it’s sobs.”
Padraig patted Matthew on the shoulder and smiled. “Thank you.”
“If it were ma wife out there, I wouldnae want Catriona wandering alone.”
Cairren leaned against the rock to her side as she twirled circles in the water with her big toe.
She’d walked even further than she realized, and her feet were determined to punish her.
The cool water eased the blisters she’d worn on the balls of her feet and her heels.
She wished she could slide all the way into the water, but she hadn’t been for a swim since before her parents left, and the air was far too chilly for it now.
She’d needed the walk to clear her mind and work through her grief from losing Wynda and watching her friends ride away.
She had no way to know if she would ever see friends or family again.
She’d only wound up with more to cloud her mind and heart when she stumbled upon Duncan and Myrna.
The walk back to Foulis had done little to resolve her conundrum.
Without Wynda, and solely reliant on Padraig, crushing loneliness threatened to consume her.
She swiped away the freshest batch of tears that trickled off her chin.
If only I could slip away under the water, mayhap find a world with selkies rather than people.
Or mayhap walk to the end of the world, never to lay eyes on Foulis again.
Would that I could walk to Dunure. Perhaps it will come to that in the spring, but I’m likely to freeze into a standing stone if I set off now.
Cairren sighed as she watched the sun shine through the leaves of the tree branches that hung low over the water.
She heard someone approach and scrambled to her feet, pulling her dirk free from her belt.
She crouched, prepared to defend herself.
She knew she’d been followed more than once, but no one ever came this close.
When someone pushed aside the branches to her hidden spot, she raised her arm, ready to thrust.
“Put that down!” Padraig lurched backward. “It’s me, Ren.”
It took Cairren a moment to register what Padraig said and that it was her husband. She stepped back and lowered her knife. She reached for a leaf stuck in Padraig’s hair before retaking her seat on the rock. “You found me.”
“Were you hiding?”
Cairren shrugged. “Not from you.”
“Your guardian angel told where to find you.” Padraig smiled.
“My who?” Cairren’s brow furrowed.
“Four of the guards have appointed themselves your protectors.” Padraig scooted closer and lifted Cairren into his lap. He needed the contact after learning that she had gone unprotected for so long. “Why didn’t you tell me they refused you guards?”
“Because what the mon told me made sense.”
“Oh, Ren. I never intended for you to be unprotected. I assumed that as my wife it would go without saying that you were to have an escort any time you left the bailey. I had no idea that you were away from the keep for so long each day. Why didn’t you tell me this is how you spend your days?”
“What would I have to do if you refused me the guards or permission to leave the walls?”
“So you figured it was better to wander in an unfamiliar land alone? This isn’t Kennedy land, where everyone kens you’re the laird’s daughter.”
“I never left Dunure’s bailey without at least two guards. Never.”
“Then why would you do something so risky? You could have been taken or killed.”
Cairren looked him straight in the eye, lifting her chin. “Would that really be so horrible?”
“What?” Padraig’s eyes widened. “How can you say that?” But he knew how asinine the question was as it came out of his mouth.
“It was go on my own or remain a prisoner. I liked my odds better on my own. At least I’m likely to see my attacker coming out here.”
“You make it sound as though something happened in the keep. Has someone tried to hurt you?” When Cairren tried to look away, he pulled her chin toward him despite her resistance. His voice held a warning. “Cairren.”
“Duncan has tried to approach me a few times. I ducked away most of the time, but he pinned me against a wall once and has made lewd comments a few times.”
“I’ll do more than break his fucking jaw.”
“No, you won’t. Let it go, Padraig. I keep my distance from him. You’ll just turn your parents, Myrna, and the clan away from you. It’s not worth it.”
“You mean you’re not worth it. Cairren, you’re my wife. I’m tired of having to remind you and everyone else of that. No one has a right to threaten you.”
Cairren blew out a puff of air from her nose as she turned her head to look out at the water.
“Until a sennight ago, you were still courting Myrna. The Church may say I’m your wife, but everyone kens I’m more your leman than aught else.
” She sighed. “My kinsmen are gone now. You need not play host to them. We can return to how things were, and I’ll stay out of the way. I don’t need the escort.”