20. Slave Over It
20
SLAVE OVER IT
“ I love this bracelet,” CeeCee said on Sunday afternoon. “It’s so sweet of you to get it for me.”
“I saw it and it reminded me of you,” he said.
It was a silver cuff with the word “strength” carved into it in a script font.
That was his sister.
Strong. Full of strength.
Still smiling through it all and walking around her apartment giving him and his mother shit for hovering.
If he knew his mother would be here today, he wouldn’t have stopped.
Not that he didn’t love them both, but he wanted to talk to his sister about Tori. He knew CeeCee would appreciate him confiding in her.
“Where did you find it?” his mother asked.
“Did you bring cookies?” he asked his mother. He saw the container on the counter. “You don’t bring me cookies when you visit.”
“You didn’t break your back,” CeeCee said, slapping his hand when he went to grab one.
“No,” he said. “And I’m not going to in order to get cookies, but that also means you can’t catch me if I want to run with these.”
He picked up the container and dashed past her.
She picked up her pace and as happy as he was she was moving so well, his mother yelled, “Hyde James!”
He halted and handed the cookies to his mother.
She opened it up and gave him one. “Sorry,” he said. “But it was nice to see CeeCee try to take off.”
“She’ll chase you and you know it, and though I don’t think she can hurt her back, she can hurt other muscles.”
“I hate this,” CeeCee said. “I feel so good and can’t wait to get back to life, but then I try to do things and am like ‘yep, that’s not working right.’”
“Don’t push it too much,” he said. “How is PT going?”
“Great,” CeeCee said. “Cody is awesome. It’s kind of nice having a bit of a connection to him through your relationship with Ryder. He asked how Ryder was as a kid.”
“Just what he doesn’t need to know,” he said, smiling.
“I won’t say too much,” CeeCee said. “And Ryder is a different person now anyway. So are you.”
“I’m trying,” he said.
“What’s going on?” CeeCee asked.
“Don’t think I didn’t notice you avoided my question on where you got the bracelet,” his mother said.
She was sharp like that.
“At the festival yesterday.”
“You went to the art festival by yourself?” CeeCee asked, frowning.
“No,” he said. Might as well tell them the truth. “I went on a date. I’m seeing someone.”
“Who?” his mother asked.
“Does it matter?” he asked.
“A little,” his mother said. “As far as I know you haven’t been interested in anyone since Shana. I’m not saying you haven’t dated or done things I don’t want to know about, but not seeing someone.”
His mother wasn’t wrong. “It’s time to move on,” he said. “Nothing is going to bring Shana back. Not my guilt either.”
“There is nothing for you to feel guilty about,” CeeCee said. “She made that decision to go out that night because she thought you were doing something you weren’t. You can’t spend your life convincing people you’re someone you’re not.”
“Normally people say that when they are trying to be a poser,” he said, frowning. “Or being something out of reach.”
“In this situation, you’re trying to show a positive from a negative. It shouldn’t be hard. You shouldn’t have to slave over it your whole life, Hyde,” his mother said. “You made poor decisions in your past like a lot of people. And now you’ve got one more thing to carry around your neck. Enough is enough.”
Not what he wanted to hear even if it was the truth.
Already going in, he was feeling as if he was working twice as hard with Tori for her to know he wasn’t the playboy cad of his past.
“It’s my life to deal and worry about,” he said.
“Does that mean you’re worried about it with this person?” his mother asked. “Who is it?”
He debated telling his mother and sister everything, but figured, what would it hurt?
“It’s Cody’s wife Raina’s best friend, Tori.”
“Oh,” CeeCee said. “That’s great. So then she knows other people who know you. You get along well with Raina at work, right?”
“It’s not as simple as that,” he said.
“What did you do, Hyde?” his mother asked.
He told them everything.
Well, not everything.
No way he was sharing the night he had with Tori and how hard it was to bring her back home and leave last night.
But he didn’t push it. That he wanted to go back to her place and maybe spend the night.
They’d had a great day together with minimal negativity in his eyes.
She gave him one hell of a kiss at the door and said she’d talk to him soon.
It was noon and they hadn’t talked once today and he wasn’t going to be the person who reached out first.
“This is the woman who gave you crap about looking at your phone when you tried to apologize for being a jerk the first time,” his mother said. Then she laughed. “I need to meet her.”
“I’m not sure we are there yet,” he said.
“It sounds to me as if you’ve had a bit of a rocky start,” CeeCee said. “How do you feel about it?”
“We’ve both said and done things we regret, but we are past it. It’s all good.”
“Are you sure it’s all good?” his mother asked.
“I think so. We had a good time on Friday and Saturday. We are both being open-minded and we’ll see how it all lands. Can’t do much more than that, right?”
“No,” his mother said. “And she knows about you and your past. Everything with Shana. So no secrets or surprises there.”
“Does she know about Hilary?” CeeCee asked.
“No,” he said. “You shouldn’t even know about Hilary.”
CeeCee was like eight when he was dating Hilary at the end of his senior year. No reason she should know anything that happened.
“CeeCee likes to eavesdrop and has big ears,” his mother said. “She should keep her words to herself like you said about Coop yesterday. He never changes.”
“Nope,” he said. “He doesn’t. Just one more example of my past in front of Tori too.”
“How did she react to it?” CeeCee asked.
“Not bad. I expected worse. So maybe she is being more open-minded. She admitted that knowing what she did about me made her jump and hated herself for it.”
“That’s something you two need to work out,” his mother said. “Why do you think she’s like that? I’d think differently with her job.”
“I would have too,” he said. He’d told them enough already, no reason he couldn’t say more. He trusted them. “She doesn’t have any relationship with her father at all. I don’t think she’s had any positive male relationships. During one of our disagreements, I told her she does a lot of self-sabotage.”
“Hyde,” his mother said. “That’s mean.”’
“I was annoyed,” he said, frowning.
“I’m not sure how you two started dating when it sounds like you’ve done more fighting than most people who have been married for ten years,” CeeCee said.
His shoulders dropped. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear that. “It’s not the same thing.”
“That’s for your brother to determine,” his mother said to his sister. “But I’m not disagreeing with CeeCee either.”
His sister stuck her tongue out at him. “I’m right.”
“I didn’t say you were right. I said I wasn’t disagreeing,” his mother said. “There is a difference.”
“I’m not sure if there is or not,” he said. “But it’s something Tori and I will work out. She has to be willing.”
He wasn’t sure if she was yet but didn’t want to admit that.
“How long are you going to try to see if she is?” CeeCee said. “I’m not sure I like you could be putting more of an effort in than her. That isn’t what a relationship is about.”
“It’s not,” his mother said. “But it’s Hyde’s business too.”
“That’s right,” he said. “My business. I’ve got it covered. Or under control.”
“I doubt that,” CeeCee said.
“Don’t be a brat,” he said. “You’re only able to get away with so much because we feel sorry for you.”
“Now you’re being mean and a brat,” his mother said. She was smiling though.
“It’s the truth and you know it.”
“Maybe a little,” his mother said. “And it’s not like your sister has had much serious dating history that she can hand out expert advice.”
“Burn on you, CeeCee,” Hyde said.
“When do we get to meet Tori?” CeeCee asked. “I want to meet the woman who is making you doubt yourself and make sure I set the record straight. I don’t like she did that to you when you were in the hospital worrying about me.”
His sister had her arms crossed and he knew he made a mistake saying that part. “Don’t be mad at her. She had her reasons and I don’t want you holding it against her.”
“CeeCee,” his mother said. “Don’t get in the middle of this. It’s Hyde’s life. The fact he hasn’t looked at his phone once since he’s been here means that some positive things have changed.”
He laughed. “I shut all my notifications off other than texts. Not because of Tori, but because it’s the right thing to do. It’s not that important that I know everything going on in the world.”
“I’ve been telling you that for years,” his mother said. “You need to figure out what is important in your life and then focus on that more than anything else. You’re on the right track.”
“And I don’t want to see you knocked off it,” CeeCee said.
“I won’t be,” he said.
“I hope for your sake you’re not,” his mother said. “Because I’ve seen you put a lot of effort into a relationship in the past and then get burned. I’m not going to be happy if it happens to you again.”
Neither would he, but he’d be watching out for it now.