Chapter 17 Not Being Alone
NOT BEING ALONE
Spilling one’s guts normally came at a price.
Farrah expected the floor to be messy, but instead, it was clean and sparkling.
No one had gotten the explanation she’d just given to Jayce. She’d never felt the need to.
Maybe it was because he wasn’t a stranger to her. That her son knew him and they’d spent time together and bonded.
Now she’d like to bond with him but had to figure out how that could work with no one getting hurt.
Which meant Archer more than anyone.
She’d been hurt enough in her life. She could handle it.
“Well,” he said. “We can keep chatting. I’m good with it. Or we can chill out and relax and have this be more like a date.”
She laughed. “I’d like that. I mean, I got the kiss and it was everything I hoped it’d be.”
He winked at her. “You’ll get another when I leave,” he said.
“I’m banking on that. How about I start dinner?”
“Do you want me to light the grill for you?” he asked. “You said you’d go do it and then I hit you with conversation.”
“Good thing too or I’d be burning it out there for no reason. But you can start it and I’ll get the fish on the planks.”
Jayce walked out her back door to the patio while she pulled the planks out of the water, put oil on two pieces of salmon, then sprinkled them with seasoning and set them aside.
“All set. Have you thought about a basketball hoop yet for Archer?”
“It’s hard not to think about it when he bugs me daily. I thought I’d get one poured into concrete, but then decided it might be easier to just order and have one delivered that can move around and be weighed down.”
“That was going to be my suggestion and you can adjust the height of it.”
“I’ll get that done this weekend. Or at least get it ordered. The obstacle course thing isn’t happening. As much as Archer might love it, I don’t think I want to give up my backyard for it. I’d rather take him back to that place when he wants.”
“See, guys don’t think that way. It’d just be less lawn maintenance if that took up space.”
“Like you had lawn maintenance living in a condo,” she said, grinning.
“Fair point. There was a reason for it, but it’s not as if I don’t know how to mow the lawn. I did it enough as a kid. We all did.”
“We had a service here for years and then when Tucker moved out, I canceled it.”
It’s not that it was a money issue; it just felt wasteful when she had no problem going outside and spending thirty meaningless minutes pushing a mower over the grass and disconnecting her brain.
Maybe it was a little bit of therapy to put the world behind her while Archer sat on the deck or played in the yard on the other side.
She’d never been afraid of hard work a day in her life. Not like her ex who didn’t like to break a sweat unless it was for something he deemed was enjoyable.
Sure the hell wasn’t sex. Once she was pregnant and showed, her sex life was easily described as quick and not fulfilling. At least for her.
When the baby weight was gone, Tucker was more interested. Guess she should have gotten the hint then that things were changing.
“You like to do things yourself,” he said.
“I do. I was doing everything back then and, to me, Tucker could handle a few things. That was his way of doing it. That’s fine, his choice, but when it became mine, I decided something differently.”
“And now you’re doing it all yourself anyway.”
She shrugged. “It’s better that way. I’m going to show Archer how to do it soon. He’s been asking, but I still think eight is a tad young to push the mower.”
“I think I was around eleven,” he said. “Can’t remember for sure. I know I was on the riding lawn mower with my father much younger than that.”
“Yeah, Archer says I should get one. Please, I can get this done in twenty minutes back here and the front is about five. Only a few passes.”
“I’m surprised they don’t care for those things in the development.”
“Tucker wanted a place that did, but I liked having more space between the houses here than the other places he looked at. Plus there are amenities here. Not that we use the pool often, but Archer does like to swim.”
It was a time factor more than anything. During the week, there was way too much going on to get to the pool. On the weekends, she was doing other chores and they had to balance it all.
She knew the day would come that Archer would want to go down alone with friends, but that wasn’t going to be for a long time.
“My parents have a pool,” he said. “We aren’t that far from here.”
She smiled. “I remember your parents’ pool. We had some good times in it.”
Not just the two of them kissing and reaching for each other when no one was around, but friends over for weekend pool parties.
“We did.”
She grabbed the fish and Jayce held the door for her, then lifted the lid on the grill and she put them down and looked at her watch.
The minute she put her arm down, her watch started to vibrate. “Archer is calling me.”
She ran into the house to get her phone. “Hi, buddy. What’s going on?”
“I just wanted to call and say goodnight now. Grandma is taking me to the movies so we won’t get out until close to nine and then I’ll go right to bed. She thought you might be tired and sleeping, but I said no.”
She laughed. Her mother knew she was with Jayce right now. She hoped her mother didn’t think Jayce would be spending the night. No way.
Not yet.
“Sounds like you’re going to have a fun night. You might be the one who is tired after today.”
“I’ve got more energy than you,” Archer said, giggling. “And Grandma made me spaghetti and meatballs. Now I’m stuffed, but I said I want popcorn and chocolate.”
“Glad you’re spending the night there and not here then.”
“Are you okay by yourself?” Archer asked. “You’re not bored? You could come with us.”
She looked at Jayce, who was grinning. She’d bet he could hear the conversation. Archer always talked loudly.
“I’m not bored,” she said. “And you know I have no problem being by myself.”
“It’s your me time,” Archer said. “I know. Have fun.”
“I will. You have fun too. Love you.”
“Love you too, Mom.”
Archer hung up. “Your ‘me’ time?”
Yep, he’d heard that.
“You see how much energy he has. It’s nice to have peace and quiet.
My me time is sitting on the couch and doing nothing.
Just sitting there and not having to hear feet pounding in the house, my name called, or having to prepare food for someone other than myself.
And if I want to have a bowl of cereal for dinner, no one is going to question it. ”
“We could have done that too,” he said. “I could have made it for you. I hate that you’re cooking now.”
“Don’t. I wanted to do this and I like not being alone right now.”
He pulled her next to his body, their chests hitting. “I like not being alone too.”
His mouth slanted over hers, the heat of his body relaxing her, her arms going around his neck.
Their lips were hungry for each other, their tongues tasting what her body was craving but telling her she needed to keep it all in check for now.
Their time would come, when she was ready.
And three hours later, she was getting ready for bed. Alone.
Dinner had been nice. They’d watched an action flick with the lights off, her under his arm like she had done when they were teens.
They didn’t make out like they had back then. Rather, they watched the movie, had some snacks, and he left, giving her one more scorching kiss to keep her more awake than tired even though her body was exhausted.
The minute she pulled the covers back, her phone rang. She thought it was Archer and leaned over to grab it, saw it was Tucker and decided to get this over with.
He never called at what she considered appropriate times.
“Hello,” she said.
“It’s Tucker.”
“I know,” she said. “Your name comes up.”
She didn’t understand why he always had to say his name.
“I’m calling to let you know the two weeks I want Archer.”
She scrunched her nose and tried not to grind her teeth. It didn’t work that way. He didn’t get to call and say when. They worked it out and if he canceled like he often did, she had the right to decline another week.
But she never wanted Archer to get upset if he couldn’t see his father and she didn’t want to be the one blamed for no relationship between them.
In her eyes, her ex did a good enough job of ruining that on his own.
“When is that?”
“I looked up when school ends, I’ll take him that Saturday and bring him back two weeks later on the following Saturday.”
“So June thirteenth and you’ll return him on the twenty-seventh?” she asked as she looked at the calendar on her phone. “You’ll have him for Father’s Day this year too.”
“That’s right. We’ll go to Florida then. Or maybe I’ll take him to Disneyland in California.”
“He’ll be thrilled either way,” she said. “But I’ll hold off telling him just yet.”
Tucker sighed. “I’m not going to cancel again.”
He said that all the time, but he normally didn’t cancel on the rescheduled date. “Just the same, I don’t want his hopes up to only get squashed again. It’s still two months away at this point.”
“You always do whatever you want anyway, but the next time I talk to him I’ll bring it up.”
“As you should,” she said. But it’s not like Tucker talked to Archer much so it’d still be another month, she was positive. The most Tucker did was email Archer that he replied to on his iPad.
She promised him a phone for his tenth birthday, but maybe she’d do it before his trip with his father. Archer was a wild child but responsible with his electronics.
Just another thing to add to her list of things to do.
“That’s all I’ve got,” Tucker said. “Bye.”
“Bye,” she said and hung up. She was just as happy not to have a long conversation with him. They were cordial for their kid and nothing else.
She crawled under the covers, pulled her iPad onto her lap and shopped for basketball hoops. Dang, it could be delivered tomorrow. The perfect surprise for her son.
Just like she got one hell of one on her first real date with Jayce.
The question was, when would the second be?