Chapter 20 Best Version Of You
BEST VERSION OF YOU
Jayce pulled into the driveway of Farrah’s house after work.
He’d had time to run home and shower quickly, then dash back out the door.
His mother hadn’t asked what he had going on and he hadn’t volunteered. Just said that he wouldn’t be home for dinner.
When he heard the laughter in the back of the house, he detoured that way.
Getting the text on Sunday of Archer shooting hoops in the backyard of Farrah’s reminded him she wasn’t one to let sand get in her shoes.
When she wanted to do something, she went with it.
Made up her mind, made a plan, and took off.
The girl he remembered had the same traits as an adult.
“Hey,” he said. “Pass me the ball.”
“Jayce!” Archer shouted. “I just asked Mom when you’d be here.”
“I’m here now,” he said, caught the ball, jumped up and sent it flying through the air and off the backboard into the net.
She’d put it where he would have. Past the garage that turned toward the house and into another flat area hidden from view for now.
Sure, if Archer went out further to shoot, he’d be seen, but the hoop wouldn’t be where someone driving by would know kids lived here.
She took precautions and he could appreciate that, but he’d be willing to bet that Archer wasn’t outside alone much, or at least in the driveway rather than the fenced-in yard.
“Isn’t my new hoop awesome?”
“It sure is,” he said. “Maybe we can play some one on one, unless your mom wants help with dinner.”
“Go ahead,” she said. “I just put the chicken on. We’ve got about fifteen minutes and then I can finish up knowing you’re out here.”
It’d been his plan. She’d told him before she rarely could do things without worrying where Archer was or what he was getting into.
Not that it was a hardship for him to play with the kid. He found he enjoyed the time.
Would he have liked to go up and kiss Farrah in a welcome over a high five with Archer after he sunk his shot? Yeah, he would have.
But once his palm touched Archer’s, he realized the need for both was equal.
“You know,” he said when Archer took another shot, then rebounded the miss. “With your name and all, we should work on your arch. It’d be fitting, don’t you think?”
“Yes! I’m going to tell Mom that. Maybe I can get some cool nickname.”
He laughed. “That happens when you get older. Someone will notice it right away and give it to you.”
“Can’t I give it to myself?”
“Nah,” he said. He leaned down and lowered his voice. “That’d be a little too full of yourself.”
“It’s not like my father is going to give it to me like dads should,” Archer said, dribbling. “All he does is yell at me over my grades.”
“Sorry about that,” he said. “Are your grades bad?”
“My lowest is a B+ in science. Everything else is As and A+’s, but it’s not good enough. I’m trying. I told him that, but he’s like that.” Archer stopped and looked around. “Mom said I can’t change him, but I have to be respectful. I’m trying, I really am.”
It took more strength than he thought he had when he heard that.
“Those are great grades,” he said. “Much better than I ever got.”
“And you played basketball in college. I want to play a sport in college. I don’t know yet what. I might not be tall enough for basketball.”
He ruffled the kid’s hair. “Height isn’t everything, but it’s a part of it. And you’re young yet and might find another activity you love doing more. Seems to me you’ve got a lot of talent.”
“Thanks,” Archer said. “Dad doesn’t think so. He hates sports. I get it all from Mom. Is it bad if I say I like that better?”
Farrah was on the patio now and close enough to hear the conversation.
He wasn’t sure how to answer these things. What he wanted to do was slam Archer’s father, but that wouldn’t be good for anyone.
“I think you need to be the best version of you. You’ve got traits from both of your parents but hone in on a combination of them and what works for you to be happy.”
“Mom says that too. That I have to be me and not her or Dad.”
“That’s right,” he said, looking over to see Farrah grinning as she turned the chicken. She heard what was said but was pretending to not pay attention.
He wasn’t sure if that was good or bad and was just going with it.
“Did you play a lot of sports? Mom did. She played basketball and volleyball and ran track and then played softball some years.”
“Your mother was wonderful at a lot of sports and changed it up. I tried a bunch, but basketball and baseball were my two favorites. The rest was just fun.”
“Did you want to play baseball in college? What position? I don’t want to be a pitcher or one of the bases. I like to be in the outfield.”
Which was odd for most kids. They liked playing one of the hot spots for attention.
“I played first base because I could catch well. Just stand there and catch most of the time. But I was in the outfield for a bit. I was good, but not good enough. I played to my strengths. Maybe I liked the contact of basketball and the activity level more.”
“Jayce had a lot of energy to spare. Kind of like you, Archer.”
“Your mother was the same,” he said. “Which is why she didn’t play softball long.”
“Jayce is right. I didn’t like standing around. I’d much rather play a sport that has me active the whole time I’m in.”
“Let’s get our game in before dinner,” Archer said. “You go first.”
He loved how the kid wasn’t selfish in the least.
“This time,” he said. “Next it’s you.”
The two of them went back and forth scoring points. He went light on Archer because he wasn’t a dick, but he didn’t give the game over easily either.
It was more about the interaction that the kid seemed to crave who obviously never got it from his father and might never.
“Dinner is done,” Farrah said. “Archer, go wash your hands.”
“I need to do it too,” Jayce said when Archer ran ahead of him into the house.
“Not yet,” she said, turning her head to make sure her son wasn’t around, then laying her lips to his. “Thanks for saying what you did to Archer.”
“Thanks for the kiss,” he said, giving her another one. Which meant this was still not out in the open in front of her son. “And what did I say to Archer? You’ll have to be more specific.”
“We had a call from Tucker when we got home and Archer was on the receiving end of a lecture over his grades.”
He should have weighed his words but found he couldn’t. “They seemed pretty decent to me.”
“They are. But it’s the fact that you told him to hone his skills and do what he’s good at. He is. Life is a balance and I’m giving it to him. If Tucker doesn’t like it, he can be more active in his son’s life.”
Not what Jayce wanted to hear. “Do you want that?”
“Selfishly, hell no. But I want what is best for my son. I don’t believe that is it, but I can’t deny it.”
“You look troubled,” he said, staring into her chocolate eyes. They weren’t happy right now and it told him something else happened, but he wasn’t so sure he’d get the opportunity to find out what.
“Long day. I’m glad you’re here though.”
“Me too,” he said, another kiss landing on her lips. “Better go wash my hands. I’ll set the table too.”
“It’s done,” she said. “And it was nice to do it and not worry I was going to drop a plate looking out the window to see if Archer was staying out of trouble.”
“My mother used to say that too, but I always had someone else outside with me.”
“Archer would love that. There are a few kids around the corner he plays with a lot, but not at night during the week.”
“Your turn,” Archer said. “Bathroom is yours. I had to pee too.”
He laughed over the extra shared piece of information. “Did you wash after that too?”
“Always,” Archer said, wrinkling his nose. “Mom said it’s gross to touch your privates and not wash. That germs get in your food and then crawl around in your belly. I don’t want germs and bugs in me.”
“Bugs in the belly sound pretty gross,” he said and walked into the bathroom grinning.
She was pretty funny in getting her point across and teaching her kid things.
The three of them sat at the long island, filled their plates and talked about Archer’s day at school.
Farrah asked questions, he did the same, and somehow Archer could eat and talk at the same time until his plate was cleared and he was asking for more.
“I’m going to help your mother clean up dinner,” Jayce said when they finished.
“Why don’t you go outside and practice shooting where I can see you,” she said. “When we are done, we’ll come out and play a few games of HORSE.”
“You read my mind, Mom,” Archer said and got off the chair and ran outside.
“He’s a good kid,” he said. “Do you want to tell me what happened with Tucker or is it me that is causing you to look worried?”
“I don’t want to unload my drama. It’s all good.”
“You’re not and I asked,” he said, moving closer to her. Their shoulders touched, his body warmed up not in arousal but in need to offer her the same amount of comfort she’d given to him.
The support he’d gotten since he’d been home. That they gave each other years ago and he was dying to return. If she’d let him.
Sometimes she’d open the door a crack, others she turned the locks and held it in.
“It’s just more of the same. Report cards came out almost two months ago. The next one is in a week and yet he has to call and lecture Archer over something he just bothered to look at.”
“Sounds like nitpicking to me.”
“That and more. He’s not into sports.”
“So you’ve said. Not sure how you two got along when it’s always been such a part of your life.”
“Yeah, well, we grow up and become adults and have less time for those things. I missed it, but it wasn’t eliminated. I didn’t have the time to play like I used to.”
“Be honest with me, do you wish you had more time like we’ve had doing things with Archer?”
She sighed and turned to face him. “Yes. I mean, what we have with him is what I always wished for when I had a family. And I’m not saying that to put anything on you. You asked a question and I answered it.”
“I’m enjoying it just as much as you,” he said. “Can’t we just go with that for now?”
Even if he wanted more.
Even if what he craved was just one night, hell, a few hours, alone with Farrah, where the world wasn’t pulling at her every second. Where she could look at him without distraction and without walls.
Sometimes he caught the flicker in her eyes, the way her breath hitched like she felt the same. That hope twisted in his chest until it hurt. But then she’d pull back, bury herself in duty and convince herself she didn’t get to want more.
He ached to tell her she did. That he wanted to be the one she leaned on, the one she reached for when everything else was too heavy.
But he didn’t know if he was strong enough to risk it because pushing her too hard might mean losing the only thing that felt right in his life for the first time in years.
And when she snuck another kiss in quickly before he left for the night, he told himself that maybe being patient was the way to play this all along.
“I think Jayce might be seeing someone,” Stacy said later that night.
“You’re not going to ask him, are you?” her husband asked.
“I want to but won’t. I bet it’s Farrah.”
“You might be right, but you can’t push him if he’s not ready to talk. We are going to be seeing him at the office and then later at night. He’s thirty-four and not comfortable living here. We have to give him his privacy.”
She sighed. “I know. He knows he can come and go as he wants and I’ve got to just dial it back.”
“You’re doing a great job of it,” he said.
“You’re just humoring me,” she said. She knew her husband’s tricks. “I think he’s only hanging on now because he wants to move into Jocelyn’s place and it doesn’t make sense for him to rent an apartment for a few months.”
“Let him figure it out. He’s done a good job with his life so far.”
“If he had, he wouldn’t have come home the way he did.”
“Our children all have to figure life out themselves,” he said. “We did our job as parents, it’s time to be grandparents.”
“I’ll relax more once Jayce is settled.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I’m going to be that mom who meddles some more. I did it with the other two and it worked out. What could it hurt?”
“More than you realize, so be careful,” he said.