Chapter 35 Had Some Reflection
HAD SOME REFLECTION
“There you are,” his father said to him a few hours later. He’d left the office at eleven, then left Farrah’s a little before one. Longer than he’d thought he’d be gone. Not that anyone was clock watching. At least he hoped not, but wasn’t so sure with that comment.
“Everything okay? I had to run an errand.”
His father smirked at him, as if they knew exactly what errand he’d run but wouldn’t admit it.
“Grant and Garrett are going to be here with Richard and Royce in an hour. Gabe will be back and Jocelyn will be in the meeting too. Thought you could join us. We’re going to look at the plans and the work that will start in a few weeks.”
“Sure,” he said. “I’m game for that. I’ve got a few ideas too to get tenants if you guys want me to step into that arena. If you’d rather I focus on McCarthy’s that’s fine also.”
“I don’t have a problem with you drumming up business for open spaces and I doubt anyone else does either. Do you want to share your ideas with me or just wait for everyone?”
“I can wait. Nothing so farfetched unless you don’t trust me.”
“We trust you, Jayce. I see how hard you’re working since you’ve been home. I know this isn’t the fast-paced environment you are used to.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s not, but I’m good with that. Maybe I should have been good with it before, but I’m seeing the other side of it. Things are going to get busier. I know that spring and summer are crazy.”
“They are picking up now,” his father said. “Gabe is gone a lot and it’s bothering him with the baby, but he knows the job, just like Elise.”
“I can step in. I mean, it’s not like I’m going to do well as a project manager on site.”
“Your brother would appreciate it. Here is the thing, some of it is managing and organizing teams and employees.”
“I’ve been doing that for over a decade,” he said, laughing.
“Exactly. Wrap your mind around people not duties or what they do. That’s where you’re going to be helpful for your brother.”
“I want to be,” he said. “For everyone.”
“Sit,” his father said.
This was where he was going to get a lecture.
He sat behind his desk, his father going to the chair in front of it. It wasn’t as if his office was big enough for him to have a table or other chairs in it to sit off to the side. No one had that much space. It wasn’t how his parents operated.
They didn’t flaunt their status to those under them and never had. Not like he was used to at his last job where the bigger the office meant the bigger the paycheck.
“What did I do this time?”
His father laughed. “Nothing bad. How are things with Farrah? If I don’t ask you first, your mother is going to.”
“I’d rather talk to you,” he said. “This had to do with bringing Mom flowers when I got home, huh?”
“That and taking us out to dinner. She appreciated the gesture, but she’s biting her tongue to ask what is going on.”
“And you decided to do it instead?”
“It will be fun for me to have this over her.”
He grinned. “Good for you. Things are good. I love her. She loves me.”
“I’m glad. We liked her when you were kids. She’s always been friendly to us when we see her at the doctor’s.”
“Is that going to be awkward for you two now?”
“If it is, we’ll request someone else, but we only saw her if there was an emergency. We didn’t schedule her for annuals.”
He knew how it worked at Farrah’s job. “I didn’t think it’d be a problem but wasn’t sure where you were going.”
“Just that we are happy to see parts of the old you back. We all change so I never expected you to be that kid again.”
“No. Those days are long gone. I’ve had some reflections that I’m almost embarrassed about.”
“Anything you want to talk about?”
He sighed. “That maybe I said some hurtful things to you and Mom when I was younger. Not to or at you, but just my thoughts of not wanting to be part of the family business. Looking back, it might have insulted you or made you think I looked down on the business.”
The multimillion-dollar business that gave him a free education and a lifestyle he tried to elevate even higher.
Maybe, deep down, he’d just wanted to be more than his blue-collar father and brother, and that was his first mistake.
The expensive suits, the endless schmoozing with pro athletes, the ass-kissing for the biggest wallets. It had all looked like success, but it felt hollow. It even made him bitter at times and it should have been the first clue it wasn’t right.
For years, his world had been a glossy shell, him straining to fill it and trying to be someone he wasn’t. It was exhausting. Stressful. A slow, suffocating lie to himself and everyone around him.
He couldn’t believe how much effort it had taken to hold on to something that had never really belonged to him, and he still didn’t know why he’d clung to it for so long.
“I’m not sure we were insulted, but your mother and I, we always knew you wanted something different. We were fine with it.”
“But you wanted me back at the same time?”
“Every parent wants to hand off their legacy. But no one said you had to be part of it. Gabe and Jocelyn were and are doing just fine.”
“Ouch,” he said. “And that’s for me to know that if I decide it’s not what I want, they will do just fine without me again?”
“You said it,” his father said, laughing. “But we’d like you to stay. Seems to me you’ve got another reason to, but you have to do what makes you happy, not what you think makes everyone else happy.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I can argue until I’m blue in the face, and you’ll just say it’s new yet, and you’re good if I change my mind.
I get it. I appreciate it. I made my bed by being so vocal in the past and it’s something I’m fighting now with Farrah.
But in the past month I’ve never been more relaxed.
I’ve never had so much free time and I’m still working over forty hours a week.
Closer to fifty-five if I count what I’m doing at home. ”
“That’s your problem. Don’t count the hours, just get it done.”
“I’m not counting, I’m just saying that I find myself doing more because I like it, not because I have to do it or get it done. My work is done pretty quickly, the extra is me digging in.”
His father nodded. “There you go. Gabe, he has other headaches. He’s out there trying to keep people on track, getting supplies to show up, filling staff.”
“I might have a smoother handle on dealing with some of that with vendors or even clients.”
“There you go,” his father said. “Your mother handles it now. It’s tiring for her. She’s always hated playing nice like that but does. She’s better than Jocelyn.”
“Jocelyn doesn’t have enough of a filter,” he said, smirking. “We both know that.”
“We do. Where I’m going with this is, being the owner doesn’t mean you only work on one section. It means you do it all.”
“I’ll talk with Mom and start getting that switched to me. I can schmooze with the best of them.”
“You always could. And maybe that bothers you because people still see that part of you when you’d rather they don’t.”
He knew it would get turned back to this. “It does. I worry Farrah doesn’t believe me when I say I’m staying, just as much as I worry you don’t either.”
“Stop worrying about everyone else and focus on yourself. It takes time for people to change their minds or opinions. If they don’t, it’s on them. Your actions are going to speak louder and that takes longer. Just remember that. Nothing worth having in life is easy nor is it fast.”
“I’m really learning that,” he said. “I don’t think I thank you and Mom enough for always being in my corner, even when I didn’t deserve it. The last year was a rough one and I was distant and kind of a jerk.”
“Yes, to both things.”
Nothing like his father being brutally honest. “I’m not anymore.”
“We see it. What does Farrah know about why you left your career and life behind in Charlotte?”
“The basics. The truth. I was burned out, I thought it was something other than it ended up being and I held on hoping to find it. When I was feeling sick, it was just time to end it.”
“I expected she knew that. Does she know about the incident with Levi and his girlfriend?”
“No. It’s irrelevant. It was a tiny part. If everything else hadn’t built prior, I would have laughed that off and moved on with that job. I mean it. I’ve accepted that. I’m guilty of nothing there.”
“No one thought otherwise, but I will tell you one thing about relationships—don’t have secrets. It’s never good for anyone if they come out.”
Since he wasn’t guilty of anything, in his eyes it wasn’t a secret.
Did he convince himself of this because he didn’t want to deal with it? Maybe.
But this was his life now, not what was in the past. The rest could just stay there.
“So fill us in with Jayce,” Grant said at the end of the day.
His son had just left along with Gabe, Richard and Royce. It was Jim and the two Fierce men, exactly as he’d thought it’d be.
“Not much to say. You saw for yourself. He’s got some great ideas. He’s diving in. If you want him to back off some on the rental properties, he won’t take offense.”
“Nonsense,” Garrett said. “We are all trying to slow down some in our lives. It’s time for the next generation to step in.
If Jayce likes getting out there and mingling, shaking hands, and being the nice one to take clients to lunch and boast of all the good features we offer, who are we to hold him back? ”
Jim nodded. It was exactly his thought on it.
This venture with the other three businesses had been a very profitable endeavor, but all of them in their early to late sixties were ready to not work as hard. At least that was his and his wife’s opinion.
“That’s my thought. I know the Olsons have never gotten more involved than all the legal parts and that’s one less headache for us.”
“Most of the work falls on the three of us,” Grant said. “You guys do the upfront work, then move on.”
“Royce, Richard and your firm,” he said. “I know.”
The Kennedys did all the interior work, all the repairs, and Fierce did all the drafting, blueprints and anything else to get it to code. All McCarthy’s was responsible for was getting the structure ready for everyone else.
It was the perfect pitch to them. The rest was them just staying involved.
They were all getting to a point in their life when their kids could start to take over more. He was on board with it and more than thrilled all three of them were diving in.
“It’s a special feeling knowing we can sit back now and relax, isn’t it?” Garrett asked.
“Stacy and I were talking about that.”
“Which brings us back to Jayce. Last we talked there might be something with someone?”
“He’s dating an old classmate. Someone he had a brief relationship with in the past. Stacy had been doing some tiny poking, not even meddling, but nothing major. It’s working, but I’m trying to stay clear of it other than offering fatherly advice.”
“It takes the fun out of it for us, but maybe there comes a time we slow down there too.”
“Well, you guys have a lot more fingers in pies than we needed to. Two of my kids are on the right path and I think Jayce is darn close to getting there. Just has to not trip up too much.”
Like him not being completely transparent with Farrah, but his son had to live his life, and Jim’s job now was to be there when he was needed.
Even if his son didn’t want to admit it.