Chapter 10 Pegged One Way
PEGGED ONE WAY
Matt stilled at her words that she wasn’t getting close tonight. She was only speaking the truth.
Then he laughed when it registered that she more or less said it was dinner and conversation tonight.
She wasn’t ready for anything else.
He had a lot of ground to make up for her to think of him as someone more than a childhood tormentor having matured.
That was a far cry from a guy she was interested in getting to know on a more personal level.
“I like this new you who isn’t afraid to speak her mind. I’m going to want to know why you changed too.”
“You want to know a lot,” she said. “Are you going to share with me?”
“Absolutely. I told you I would.”
Her head went back and forth. She wasn’t sure how much she’d share exactly. It’d be a fine line she’d have to not break.
But when she looked at him as a full-grown adult who had only gotten sexier with age, her secret schoolgirl crush was the angel on her shoulder screaming to open up.
The devil teenager was standing on the other shoulder jumping up and down and saying he’ll make her cry again, it’s not worth it.
“You asked what I liked to do. I’ve been trying to figure that out for years. What I want to do is find something that is sustainable for the long term. School wasn’t for me. It never was.”
“It’s not for everyone,” he said.
“I’ve had a lot of different jobs.”
“Like what?”
She wouldn’t be embarrassed about her work history. “I’ve done several customer service type things. Office jobs. In a hospital checking people in. A doctor’s office. I’ve done customer service for cell phone companies. Anything that required sales I struggled with.”
“And you ended up in real estate?”
She grinned. “Ironic, I know. I wasn’t thinking of it that way. I don’t push my clients enough. I bend over backwards for them and it bites me on the butt from time to time. The thing is, as much as I hate sales, I really enjoy helping people find their dreams.”
“It didn’t bite you for the owners here,” he said. “At least not from my viewpoint.”
“No. But most times clients don’t care that they are demanding. They have the mentality that I work for them and have to earn my commission.”
“It’s not right, but I understand it. Attorneys are thought of the same way.”
“I don’t think it’s of the same caliber,” she said.
“You should always treat people with respect and I’m assuming that hasn’t been the case?”
“Not even close. It took me a long time to get my first sale. I had dollar signs in my eyes and that was wrong. I had to stop thinking of what I could make and focus on what they needed. It’s a lot of work.
Yes, when you get that big commission check it feels as if it was all worth it.
Almost like a gambling addiction to make you go back for more. ”
“I think most people in sales relate to that.”
“I don’t know if I have what it takes, but I’m stuck.
And being stuck really sucks. If real estate was more reliable or I wasn’t living on my own, I’d stay, but that isn’t the case.
I applied for the job at Fierce. I didn’t think I’d get it, but I saw Ben when I was leaving.
He recognized me and asked what I was doing there. ”
“He would have put a good word in for you,” he said.
She knew Ben got her the job. There was no doubt.
She even thanked him multiple times. One day he joked he felt he owed it to her for Matt being such a dick to her as a kid.
At least the oldest Kelly sibling saw what was going on.
She worked even harder to not let Ben down.
“He did. I really appreciated it. Justin has told me if I wanted to be full time he’d make it happen.”
“Why don’t you?” he asked.
“Because it’d be one more short-term career in my portfolio. I don’t want to keep doing that. I’m afraid that I’d settle for now because the tips would be good. It’d feel like the easy way out even though it’s not a simple job. But it’s a fun one.”
“So you want a job that is fun,” he said. “Do you like dealing with people?”
“I do,” she said. “Most times they aren’t jerks, but it depends on the situation.”
“What other likes do you have? Fashion? Hair? Fixing things?”
“Are you trying to give me career advice?” she asked. The last thing she needed in her life was someone telling her what to do.
He put his hands up. “I wouldn’t dream of it.
I’m trying to act more like a sounding board.
You know, if you like styling your hair and trying new things, and like people and getting tips, making your own hours, how about a stylist?
Or if you like laying tiles or painting, why not look for construction jobs that specialize in that? ”
“Like you’d date someone that worked in construction?”
He looked offended. “I’m not sure how many times I have to tell you I don’t care what the person does. I’m not the one doing the job. It’s more important to me they see the good in someone and can appreciate those traits than a career they may or may not love.”
Which told her he must have suffered more burns than he admitted.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I meant nothing by it.”
“You’ve got me pegged one way.”
“It’s hard not to when I’ve only known you that way.”
“And I’m trying to show you another way,” he said. “There are a lot of careers out there helping people. Lots in the medical field with some training. Trade fields like hair and nails, spa, massages.”
“I have thought of that,” she said.
“Of what?”
“Massage therapy,” she said. “I looked into it. It’s a six-month course full-time, twelve months part-time.
If I could swing another shift at Fierce, I could handle that for six months.
But then you’ve got to have a bunch of hours of practice before you can get licensed.
I’d be working for free for another six months easily. ”
She ran the numbers in her head and she’d be giving out over twenty-five free massages a week for six months before she could get her license.
So it’d be a year of doing that and working at Fierce. If she could make ends meet.
Then she told herself it went back to seeing the money earned rather than the enjoyment in a career. It was no different from where she was.
“I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that nothing in life that is worth it is easy.”
“No,” she said. “I’m working it out in my head. If I can put enough money away to cushion me, I’d be fine. It’s not as if I’ve got much of a life. But then I remind myself I might do everything to get there and a year later still be feeling the way I am now.”
“I picture you as the type of person who will figure it out.”
“You’re not going to tell me how to figure it out?” she asked. Everyone else in her life always tried to.
“Why would I?” he asked. “You have to live it and do the work. Could I give suggestions? Sure. But I wouldn’t do it now. It’s one date we haven’t even finished. I’ve got enough things to make up for. You don’t think I’m going to step on any fresh toes, do you?”
Dang. She judged that wrong. “You’ve changed too. How or why?”
Their dinner was brought out, giving them both a chance to think before they spoke.
After he’d taken a bite and chewed, he’d said, “I got my butt handed to me by my mother and it opened my eyes some. She’s good at that.”
“Oh boy,” she said. “I need to hear this.”
“Are you going to share why you changed if I share my story?”
“I will,” she said.
His head went side to side. “Today my mother first told me I’m a little like my grandfather.”
“Phoebe hated your grandfather.”
“He was an asshole.”
“And not someone you want to be compared to,” she said.
“You called me a jerk,” he said. “You probably think it too.”
“You were one to me years ago. You haven’t been recently, Ben’s wedding excluded.”
“So you’re reevaluating your opinion?”
“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t,” she said.
“My mother said it was made in the context of me being cocky. I’ll admit I am. But my father and Ben are too.”
“I think a lot of men are,” she said.
“We are. The men in my family. I don’t think I’m a dick about it, but there are some that might feel otherwise.”
“I can see both sides. What else did she say to you? It had to be more than that for the puppy dog look in your eyes earlier.”
“She said I used my last girlfriend.”
Not what she wanted to hear.
“How is that?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. In their eyes I wasn’t serious and just wanted to have fun. I knew Macy wasn’t really the one so I used her for enjoyment outside of work.”
“You led her on?” she asked. Guess he hadn’t changed all that much.
“No. Never. She approached me. We dated, but it’s not as if I gave her my full attention. She wanted to move faster than I did, but we met when I had time. I’ve had enough women want me for my name and I’m cautious.”
“You move slow when you are cautious?” she asked.
“Yes. By the way, I’m not moving slow with you.”
“You know me,” she argued.
“Not like I thought,” he said.
She’d process that later. “Sounds like she was using you too.”
“Exactly. Once I figured that out, I just let it ride. I never made it a secret to her I wasn’t looking for anything serious.”
“Do you want something serious? Not that I’m asking for me, just asking in general.”
“I do,” he said. His eyes were staring into her eyes. “When I find the right thing in life, I fight for it.”
She felt there was a meaning there directed right at her. “A warning or threat?”
“Neither. It’s a fact. I haven’t fought for anyone I’ve dated. They didn’t get me and I didn’t get them. Or more like they got sick of me.”
“The goofing off?” she asked. Now they were getting somewhere and how he might have changed.
“My job is serious. I have bad days like the next person. I like to blow off steam when I’m not working. I’ll admit that many didn’t understand me or I pushed my limits. I don’t anymore. I haven’t in years, but I need to be with someone who has a personality and can take a joke.”
She nodded her head. “I’m not damaged or anything by what you did. I know my mother made it sound that way.”
“I think I did some damage to you without knowing.”
“Listen, Matt. Every kid has horror stories of embarrassment. It just seems a lot of mine came at the hands of you. It’s not like you were aware.”
“I would have fixed it had I been,” he said earnestly. “I mean that.”
“I believe it. Phoebe stood up for me several times. It meant the world to me. My home life wasn’t always the greatest and going to your house was a reprieve.”
“And I ruined that for you,” he said. “Right?”
Her lungs filled with air. He was being honest so she’d return it.
“That’s not on you. You’d have no way of knowing that.”
Though Phoebe knew and she’d bet anything Phoebe shared it with her mother.
But Grace Kelly didn’t know everything that Matt did to Phoebe and her friends either.
“I can’t change anything I did in the past and I can only apologize so many times.”
“I don’t want you to do it anymore,” she said. “Let’s put it behind us and start over.”
“You’re willing to do that?”
“I am if you are,” she said.
“Then tell me what caused you to stand up for yourself now. If you’d done it years ago, I would have been put in my place.”
“I wish I had the courage all those years ago, but I’ve got it now. Better late than never. I don’t back down from anything and am not afraid to speak my mind. Now I’m learning people don’t like that either, but I’m okay with it because then it eliminates them from my life at the start.”