6
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
Lexie’s shoulders bumped the door of the old darkroom as he came closer.
His eyes darkened to the color of Hershey’s syrup as his hands hit the wood on either side of her head, caging her in. He didn’t say anything, but the look on his face spoke volumes.
“Jake, why are you looking at me like that?” Lexie repeated, feeling oddly breathless. Somehow, he’d taken all the oxygen from her personal space when he’d stepped into it.
His laughter was soft in her ears as he settled one forearm against the door. His other hand dropped to her waist, and his fingers tightened against the curve above her jeans.
“That depends. What do I look like?”
The low timber of his voice made Lexie shudder, but in a good way, and her hands found their way to the front of his T-shirt, tugging him closer.
“Like I’m a snack, and you missed breakfast.”
A rumbling sound rolled out of him as he dipped his head and brushed his mouth up the side of her neck.
Lexie felt the shiver all the way to her toes.
“Well, I am pretty hungry.”
Lexie woke with a start, sucking cool air deep into her lungs, unsure what had disturbed her. Her sleep-fogged brain gradually registered the sound of her cell phone, and she rolled toward it and managed to answer before the call went to voicemail.
“Hello?” she said, pushing her hand across her forehead and into her hair. Her heart was still racing, and she sounded like she’d just run an eight-minute mile.
“Hey, babe! This is your wake-up call!” Colt’s voice filled her ears, even as Jake’s face still hovered behind her eyelids.
Lexie groaned and peeked at her alarm clock. “Colt, it’s barely six thirty.”
“I know, sweetheart, but we need to leave by nine if we’re going to make it to my parents’ house on time. Last time we were almost late.”
Lexie scrubbed her palm over her closed eyes. It was the first Sunday of the month. She’d almost forgotten. Her mind was still leaning against a rough wooden door with Jake’s breath against her skin.
Colt said something else, but it got lost in the fog of her daydream.
“I said, be sure to wear the earrings I got you for your birthday,” he repeated, an edge to his voice now, and Lexie jumped, remembering that he was still on the phone.
A wave of guilt crashed over her. Here she was, dreaming about another guy while Colt was trying to be considerate. She really didn’t need two and a half hours to get ready... but that was neither here nor there.
“Of course,” she said automatically.
“And Mother thought that dark dress you wore last month was depressing.”
“She what?” Lexie asked, suddenly feeling slightly more awake. Mrs. Derricks had complimented her outfit! Several times, actually. Which, now that Lexie thought about it, should probably have been a sign.
“She said it looked like you were dressed for a funeral.”
Lexie closed her eyes and stifled a yawn.
“Are you even listening?” Colt asked, his irritation coming through loud and clear. “You seem very distracted.”
“Yes, I’m sorry. It’s just very, very early,” Lexie said, sneaking another peek at the clock and hoping it had changed.
“Well, forgive me for disturbing you. I didn’t want to wait for you to finish curling your hair or whatever else you women have to do every time you leave the house,” he snapped, and Lexie flinched. How had she already made him angry? She’d only been awake for five minutes.
“I’ll be ready. Don’t worry.”
“Good. I’ll be there at nine,” he said sharply, and then he was gone.
Lexie dropped the phone onto her pillow without looking at it and rolled over, closing her eyes.
Jake’s heart pounded against her chest, his body heat making hers rise as his hand slid up her rib cage.
“Now, where were we?” he asked.
Ugh. Lexie’s eyes flew open again. Where were they?
Nowhere. That was where they were.
Jake was kind and gentle and considerate. He left comic strip clippings and Post-it note doodles on her desk every day. He sometimes randomly disappeared from work and returned with strawberry smoothies from her favorite cafe. He was a good friend, and nothing else. That ship had sailed when she’d embarrassed him; he wasn’t likely to come back begging for another round.
She had Colt, and he was... well... Colt. He was brash and arrogant, confident and cocky. He made decisions for her and didn’t ask for her opinions. But he took care of her. And he loved her.
Didn’t he?
That was the million-dollar question.
Lexie stared at the textured ceiling above her bed, the details barely visible in the early morning light.
Colt said he loved her. She’d waited her entire life to hear those words, and even though love didn’t feel the way she’d always hoped it would, it wasn’t something she could just walk away from. Plus, her father had made it very clear that Colt was the only good choice she’d ever made, and who was she to argue? She didn’t have any real evidence to the contrary.
Knowing she’d never get back to sleep, Lexie slung her legs over the edge of the bed with a groan. She moved quietly down the hall to the bathroom and filled the tub with steaming water, thinking she might as well enjoy herself since she had so much time. She made a mental note to thank Colt for that, managing not to roll her eyes as she did.
“Do you really have to go all the way to Hampton just for breakfast?” Olivia asked, sitting on the edge of Lexie’s bed almost two hours later.
Lexie unwound a long, golden ringlet from her curling iron and arranged it over her shoulder, giving herself a critical look in her dresser mirror.
“It’s tradition. The first Sunday of every month is brunch at Penbrooke,” she said, referring to the Derricks’ large home about an hour from Cypress Valley. It not only had a name but also a set of tennis courts, a driving range and an infinity pool complete with a lazy river. It was basically a resort destination.
“You’d think they’d give you a break since you’re not actually family. It’s just pancakes,” Olivia replied unhelpfully.
Actually, it was a four-course social experience with everyone who was anyone within Derricks Pharmaceuticals, including the entire executive team and their families. Lexie’s presence was expected by default. The heir to the throne must have his princess, after all.
“You know how they feel about appearances” was all she offered Olivia, keeping the finer details to herself.
She knew exactly how it would go.
She and Colt would climb out of the car in his parents’ driveway, and Colt would appear at her side like the attentive, adoring partner he was meant to be. He would put on his most charming smile and look at her warmly, maybe even leaning down for a kiss if he thought anyone might be watching from the front windows. She’d look up into those crystal blue eyes, and her heart would remember a day when she’d thought this entrance came from a Hollywood movie rather than a well-choreographed sleight-of-hand show.
And then they’d go into the lion’s den, where glittering women using pretty words would pick her apart and show her every flaw she’d ever tried to hide, all while smiling graciously and asking if she’d like more champagne.
Lexie yanked the plug for the curling iron out of the wall, grateful for something to do with her hands.
“It’s only a few hours. I’ll be back soon, and then we can go out with Kate and Robin,” she said, meeting Olivia’s eyes in the mirror as she put on the extravagant earrings Colt had given her months ago. The heavy pear-shaped diamonds swung in their delicate pendants with every movement, already threatening to give Lexie a headache. She popped open a second jewelry case and removed a glittering tennis bracelet from its velvet resting place. The stones sparkled, even in the artificial indoor light, but as she pulled it out, her eyes jumped from the expensive gemstones to a small brown oval resting nearby. She picked it up, turning it between her fingers.
The penny had been flattened in one of those souvenir machines at the children’s museum in nearby Willow Creek. Lexie rubbed her thumb over the small princess now stamped into the copper where President Lincoln had been. She could still feel the brush of Jake’s hand as he’d slipped it into her palm during a staff meeting—like a secret only they would share. She started to set it back down, but as an afterthought, tucked it into her pocket instead.
“Hey, would you fasten this?” she asked, turning to Olivia and extending her wrist with the dangling diamond bracelet. Olivia stood with one eyebrow cocked, her gaze darting up from Lexie’s pocket.
“What’s with the penny?”
“What?”
“The penny. The one you just caressed with your eyes and put in the pocket of a designer dress,” Olivia prompted, fastening the bracelet as requested.
Lexie fought back the blush that crept into her cheeks.
“It’s just a penny. For good luck,” she hedged, but Olivia only smirked.
“This lucky penny wouldn’t happen to be part of your new collection, would it? Like the doodles taped to your mirror and all the comic strips on the fridge?”
Lexie rolled her eyes with effort, then slipped her feet into a pair of strappy silver sandals and fastened the tiny buckle around each ankle.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, you don’t? Well, I guess we can get rid of these, then,” Olivia declared, reaching over to her friend’s bedside table and grabbing three four-leaf clovers, each carefully dried and pressed.
Lexie felt the blood drain from her face. “No!” she shouted.
Olivia paused with the treasures suspended over the trash can and eyed her friend in triumph.
“They’re from Jake, aren’t they? All these things are from him?” she asked, laying the fragile plants carefully where she’d found them. She picked up a small plush frog wearing a tiny Cardinals baseball cap—the kind of toy that might have come from an arcade game. She squeezed it, and it croaked.
Lexie, on the other hand, didn’t answer.
“Come on, Lex. Colt gives you expensive jewelry that you wear once a month, but these things... these are important to you,” Olivia said as she sank back down onto Lexie’s bed with a softer look on her face. “Why can’t you come out and admit it? You like him. You really, really like him.”
“Who?” Lexie asked, adding a spritz of perfume to the insides of her wrists.
“Jake!” Olivia all but screamed. “Don’t play dumb with me. Why are you still going to family brunch with Colt when you’d rather be here with someone else? Why waste your time?”
“It’s complicated,” Lexie said.
“No, it’s scary,” Olivia corrected, crossing her arms stubbornly over her chest. “I know you, Lex. I know you don’t like to make waves. But I also know you have the good sense to see that something’s wrong with this picture.”
Lexie ignored her and twisted around to see her back in the mirror.
“Colt will be here soon. Check me over and make sure I don’t have any snags,” she instructed, turning in a slow circle so Olivia could make a final inspection. Swirls of tiny silver sequins spread across the front of her pink cocktail dress, making Lexie feel a bit like a disco ball as she twirled.
“You’re avoiding the issue,” Olivia observed.
“How perceptive of you,” Lexie said, her voice flat as she picked up her purse and made her way to the living room.
A single glance at the hallway clock showed she was right on time and, true to form, so was Colt. She could hear his heavy footsteps on the landing as she reached the door, and she opened it before he could knock. He looked impeccable, his tall, broad frame dressed in a dark sport coat and matching pants. The indigo in his shirt brought out the blue of his eyes, and Lexie couldn’t help but remember how handsome she’d thought he was on the night they’d met.
Fresh out of her first year of college, the attention of the most charming man in the bar had turned her head, and she’d relished the jealous whispers of other women as Colt had claimed every dance, ignoring his friends and making her feel like the luckiest girl in the room. After that, he’d started calling, sending flowers and pretty gifts to her apartment, and showing up to spirit her away to expensive restaurants in Memphis and swanky hotels in St. Louis. Only a year out of college himself, he’d already had the air of a successful young businessman. It had all felt too good to be true. Why would a guy like him think she was special? No one else ever had.
It wasn’t until later that he’d started criticizing her appearance, bossing her around and finding ways to make her feel small. But by then, she’d been in too deep to turn around.
“Take what you can get, my dear. Men are not generous with their hearts.”
She could still hear her mother’s voice as she said those words, though it had been nearly seven years since they’d been spoken aloud. Lexie had seen the truth of them play out in her parents’ marriage until the day it ended, and she’d yet to find a relationship of her own that could prove her mother wrong.
She blinked, and the memory of Colt the night they’d met gave way to the man now standing in front of her, whose eyes darted over her body before he’d even said hello. Lexie felt herself brace for impact.
“You look perfect,” he said, and the genuine tone of his voice nearly knocked her over. She sighed in relief.
“Thank you,” she said. She could feel his praise in every fiber of her being, and she did another little twirl, relishing his attention.
“I mean it, babe! This color really complements the diamonds.”
Lexie’s steps faltered slightly. Had he just complimented her or the jewelry?
“All that extra time I gave you really made a difference, huh?” he said, clearly pleased with himself.
Lexie’s expression hardened until it felt like she was wearing a mask. She glanced back into the living room and saw Olivia sitting silently on the couch, pretending not to pay attention, but Lexie knew better. She caught the twist of her friend’s mouth that clearly meant she had something to say but was holding it back, and it made Lexie sad. Olivia was smart-mouthed and fearless. When had she started hiding what she thought?
Colt reached past Lexie and grabbed the door handle with a cursory wave of acknowledgement to her best friend.
Olivia did not return it.
“We’d better get going. Simon Anderson is going to be there today, and I’d like to catch him up on the latest trends we’re seeing with the new respiratory inhaler,” Colt said, taking Lexie’s hand. He obviously didn’t notice she wasn’t paying attention. He led her down the stairs to the parking lot, and she caught sight of her reflection in the fresh layer of wax on his BMW. Her eyeliner made a perfect wing, her flyaways were all tamed and she looked like she could grace the cover of a glossy magazine.
“Take what you can get, my dear.”
Ugh.
She should have gone back to sleep.
“Alexis, dear, do we need to have Maria sew your pockets closed?” Harriet Derricks asked, her tone playful but her eyes sharp. She glanced pointedly to where Lexie’s hand had disappeared for the umpteenth time.
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Derricks,” Lexie said, reluctantly pulling her fingers away from the flattened penny and leaving it behind.
“Young people are so fidgety these days,” Colt’s mother said. She laughed in a way that invited the women nearby to join her, and several of them did.
Lexie stood as still as she could on aching feet, keeping her hands folded primly in front of her and doing her best to pay attention. But as Mrs. Derricks went on and on about yet another charity art auction, her words began to sound like bees buzzing around Lexie’s ears. She snapped back to attention when she heard her name again.
“So, Alexis, are you excited about graduating in the spring?”
One of the wives, whose name Lexie couldn’t remember, looked at her expectantly.
“It’s terrifying, to be honest,” she answered. “The idea of finding a real job next summer is a bit daunting.”
Colt’s mother laughed, a false, tinkling sound that grated on Lexie’s skin.
“Oh, dear girl, don’t be coy. We all know how these things work,” Mrs. Derricks said, gesturing with her wine glass. “I mean, look around. You can’t honestly believe you’re going to need a job, do you? Colton is more than able to support you in whatever style you’d like.” She looked at the other wives with a knowing expression. “Frankly, I’m surprised you’re even going to finish. After all, it’s the men who need the diploma; all you need is the ring.”
Lexie forced a tight smile as the women around her twittered like birds, all jostling to agree at once. The idea of becoming Colt’s wife wasn’t new, though it seemed the only people who hadn’t discussed it at length were Lexie and Colt themselves. She looked across the mansion’s immaculate courtyard to where he stood talking with a group of older men. He was far and away the most charismatic young man present, and the gentlemen around him visibly hung on his every word. A cluster of giggling girls in pastel dresses talked behind their hands, sneaking not-so-covert glances in his direction as they did.
Lexie should have been thrilled that this man was hers, but instead, she just felt tired—tired of pretending, tired of never quite being enough, tired of hoping for a change that never came. She smoothed her hands over her dress again, feeling the outer ridge of the penny beneath the shimmering material.
“Take what you can get, my dear.”
What she was getting was a handsome husband and a gorgeous future.
So why did that not feel like enough?
Lexie watched West Tennessee life flash by the windows as she and Colt headed north to Cypress Valley several hours later. The crisp, blue October sky showcased wispy clouds, like cotton stretched between a child’s fingers. Small-town main streets flew banners advertising festivals and farmers’ markets, and endless acres of soybean fields were dotted with barns of every shape and size.
“Dad says if I keep up my current sales trend, I’ll be a shoo-in for the Young Salesman’s Award this coming spring. Just think, second year in a row!” Colt crowed, smoothing his hand over the lapels of his coat.
Lexie absently thought he looked a lot like a bird preening its feathers.
“That’s wonderful, sweetheart,” she said, more because she knew it was expected than anything else. She wasn’t completely certain what his job as a pharmaceutical sales rep entailed, but to hear him talk, you’d think he personally invented the lifesaving drugs he sold.
Colt kept talking, but Lexie’s mind was still on the party they’d just left and the endless line of similar events that waited in her future. Did she really want to spend the rest of her life as an accessory to his success, pretending to listen and trying to forget she’d ever had dreams of her own? Her mother had done that tirelessly for years, and look where she was now—in an early grave at a fancy cemetery that no one ever visited.
A soft curse from Colt caught Lexie’s attention, and she turned to him.
“I’ve got to stop for gas,” he muttered, suddenly changing lanes. He made a sharp turn into a station at the southern edge of Cypress Valley, and Lexie’s clutch slipped off her lap and clattered into the space beside the center console. Colt pulled into the closest gas pump before shutting off the engine. “I’ll be right back,” he said, and he unfastened his seat belt and climbed from the car.
Lexie twisted sideways, peering into the thin crevice where her purse had fallen. Catching a glint of the case’s metallic exterior, she wedged her hand into the gap, but instead of her cold, hard wallet, the tips of her fingers brushed something soft. She automatically grabbed whatever it was and pulled it out, surprised when a wad of lacy black fabric pooled in her hand.
Unfolding it, she found an expensive pair of women’s underwear.
Lexie’s breath caught in her chest, and her surroundings seemed to fade until all she could see was the material in her hand. Her breathing slowed until it was just white noise in her own ears, as if all other sounds had ceased.
There was underwear shoved under the seat of Colt’s car.
Sexy, silky women’s underwear.
There had to be an explanation.
Maybe he’d bought them for her and they’d fallen out of his shopping bag. Maybe he’d driven a friend home from the airport and her carry-on had come open. Maybe—
The gas pump shut off with a dull thunk, jolting Lexie into action, and she shoved the panties back where she’d found them. She snatched her clutch from the crevice in the same movement and straightened just as Colt’s door opened.
He slid behind the wheel and ran one hand through his hair.
“I can’t believe we still have to pump our own gas. What do the attendants do all day?” he complained, oblivious to the way Lexie kept her eyes trained straight ahead, unable to look at him.
There wasn’t enough air in the car. Lexie took one shallow breath after another, counting slowly to one hundred in her mind. She didn’t know if she was angry or in shock or embarrassed—or maybe all three at once—but she was afraid that if she opened her mouth, she would scream.
She was becoming her mother after all.