9
Lexie spent Sunday morning watching the messages roll in.
Colt:I love you. Can we talk about this?
Colt:You know I didn’t mean it. You shouldn’t have pushed me.
Missed call from Colt Derricks.
Colt:You brought this on yourself. Grow up and take responsibility for your mess.
Colt:I know you’re reading these!
Missed call from Colt Derricks.
Colt:It’s been two days, Lexie. Let’s be adults about this and move on.
Missed call from Colt Derricks.
Missed call from Colt Derricks.
Colt:Lexie! Answer your phone and stop being a child!
As juvenile as it was, she felt a surge of satisfaction every time she hit “ignore,” imagining Colt’s face contorting in fury as his calls were sent to voicemail again and again. He was used to getting everything he wanted, but she was tired of giving it to him.
It was nearly noon, and she still hadn’t gotten out of bed. The warm cocoon she’d created was soft and safe, and she saw no reason to venture into the ugly world beyond. Saturday, she’d immersed herself in work. Midterm exams were coming up fast, and for a while, that had been enough to distract her from the daytime soap opera her life had somehow become.
But Sunday was pity party day—table for one.
She silenced her phone, tossed it onto her nightstand and snuggled deeper into the blankets, only to be disturbed a moment later by a knock on her bedroom door.
“Lex? Can I come in? I have snacks,” Olivia called from the hallway, and Lexie’s stomach growled as if on command. If it had been anyone else, she would have played dead.
“Yeah, come in,” she said, not bothering to sit up as her best friend slipped into the room.
Lexie peered out through a gap in her blanket fortress and watched Olivia look around, undoubtedly taking in the piles of textbooks, open notepads and stray scraps of paper that littered the room. She pushed aside a collection of highlighters on Lexie’s bedside table to make room for a mug of something topped with whipped cream. Then, she sank carefully onto the bed, balancing a giant bowl of popcorn in her lap.
“So,” Olivia started as she tossed a piece into her mouth, “what’s the plan? Are we committing murder or arson? Because I’m down for either.”
An unexpected bark of laughter burst from Lexie’s mouth as she considered her friend’s expressionless face.
“Olivia Nicole, you are truly scary sometimes,” she said.
But Olivia only shrugged. “Look, you treat my best friend the way he did and see how it works out for you. My dad is Special Forces, and both my brothers are marines. I bet they know people.”
Lexie snorted again, pushing herself up to sit against her upholstered headboard. She reached for the mug Olivia had set on the bedside table and smelled rich hot chocolate wafting from beneath the column of curled whipped cream. After taking a small sip, she licked the cream off her upper lip before swiping her finger through the column and eating that, too.
“I wasn’t sure what you’d be in the mood for, so I also have four pints of ice cream—various flavors, of course—brownie bites, Cheetos, Pringles, chocolate pretzels, gumdrops, jelly beans and a monster bag of Pixy Stix, just in case,” Olivia said, ticking the items off on her fingers as she spoke.
“What did you do, raid a gas station?” Lexie asked.
“It’s important to have energy before committing a felony. Everyone knows that.”
Lexie grinned and took another long slurp of her hot chocolate before stealing a handful of popcorn from Olivia’s bowl. She crunched in thoughtful silence, savoring the perfect combination of warm sweetness and buttery salt.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and, to be honest, I don’t want to commit a felony,” Lexie said, staring into her cup.
“That’s okay. I’ll take one for the team,” Olivia quipped, but Lexie stopped her with a sad smile.
“No, I mean, I don’t want to punish Colt; I don’t want to dwell on him. I just...” She took a long breath, choosing her words thoughtfully. “I just want to move on, you know? I just want to tell myself the past two years never happened. I just... How did I get here, Liv?” Lexie asked, suddenly pivoting the conversation. “How did I get to this place where I’m basically dating my father? Somehow, I went out and chose a guy who is all the things I grew up hating about my dad, and I couldn’t even see it!”
Olivia focused on her handful of popcorn, putting one piece at a time into her mouth.
“I think maybe you didn’t want to see it,” she said, finally meeting Lexie’s eyes.
“But you did?”
“Well, I hoped I was wrong.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lexie blurted, setting her cup down.
“Would you have believed me? You were starstruck in the beginning, Lex. You thought he’d had the moon special-ordered and engraved just for you. And I was happy for you, I really was! You know how cynical I can be about the whole ‘falling in love’ thing. I didn’t want to project that on you,” Olivia said, looking guilty.
Lexie leaned back against her headboard and tipped her face toward the ceiling. The crying she’d done Friday night—first in Jake’s arms and then with Olivia—was enough to last a lifetime. There were no tears left for Colt; he’d finally met his quota.
“You also told me he didn’t hurt you anymore,” Olivia added quietly. It wasn’t an accusation, simply a statement of fact.
Lexie sighed. “It was always little things, and never in public,” she admitted, though she felt oddly numb about that statement. “Friday was the worst time.”
“I’m just glad Jake went looking for you,” Olivia said, and Lexie watched as her friend’s eyes scanned the greenish-purple bruise along the crest of her cheekbone, courtesy of the conference room table.
“I wish he hadn’t,” Lexie said, her voice barely a whisper.
“Lex, it could have been worse—”
“I know, I know, and I’m grateful. I am. I just wish he hadn’t had to see how broken I am.”
“Lexie, that boy does not think you’re broken,” Olivia said with conviction. “You should have seen the way he was looking at you. He went to bat for you, and if you’d even thought the words, he would have gone out and finished the job. As it was, I thought he was going to sleep on the landing. I almost had to walk him down to his truck and make sure he got in it.”
Lexie groaned, her face hot with embarrassment. “He could have been hurt. He could have lost his job. He could have been arrested, and for what?”
“For you, sweetheart,” Olivia said, a smile on her face. “That boy would slay dragons for you without batting an eye.”
Lexie sighed, suddenly conflicted. Regardless of how Jake might feel, she didn’t want to be that girl who just jumped from one man to another—no matter how shiny his armor might be. There was something to be said for finally standing on her own two feet.
Olivia, as usual, seemed to be reading her mind.
“I’m not saying you should leave Colt for Jake,” she clarified. “I’m saying you should leave Colt for you. Anyone who comes after that is just incidental.”
Lexie cradled her mug in both hands, silently watching the last of the whipped cream melt into the hot chocolate.
“Jake respects you, Lex, and that’s huge,” Olivia said. “You told him to leave, and he left, even when he didn’t want to. He found out you had a boyfriend, and he backed off, even though we both know he’s been crushing on you for ages. And when you needed him, he was there, and he didn’t ask for anything in return.” She picked up the flattened penny where it rested next to Lexie’s alarm clock. “You could definitely do worse is all I’m saying. Figure yourself out, but don’t punish yourself for stumbling upon somebody better than Colton Derricks. Maybe it’s time the universe finally gave you something good.”
Lexie mulled this over as she watched her friend trace the edges of the copper oval with her thumb. Suddenly, her thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock on the front door.
“That must be the pizza,” Olivia said. She rose to her feet and headed for the hall without another word, though what she’d already said had found its mark.
Lexie nestled back under her comforter, distractedly listening to her friend move through the apartment and slide the chain lock on the front door. She jumped when she heard a shout.
“What are you doing here?” Olivia yelled. “Get out!”
“I’m not leaving until I see her,” Colt growled, and his voice sent a shiver down Lexie’s spine.
“I have a baseball bat, and I am not afraid to use it. Now get out before I start swinging,” Olivia threatened, and Lexie leapt from the bed in a rush. She’d imagined seeing Colt again would be difficult, but right at that moment, she decided enough was enough.
“What do you want?” she demanded, striding down the hallway as if she were wearing Kevlar armor and not a faded T-shirt and flannel pajama pants. She stopped near the kitchen table, leaving ten or fifteen feet between herself and where Colt stood by the open door.
“I want you to stop throwing a fit and answer your phone!” he raged, gesturing wildly with both hands. “I want you to grow up and remember you have responsibilities. You missed that committee meeting yesterday about floral arrangements or whatever else it is my mother is so obsessed with, and now all she can talk about is what poor taste I have in women. I’m sick of it!”
Suddenly, all Lexie could see was a spoiled child stomping his foot in a candy store, and all the aggravation from the last two years welled up in her chest, lending her confidence.
“Women? Well, I’m glad she knows it’s plural. I’d hate for her to think her only son is a responsible family man,” she spat.
Colt’s mouth popped open, and his eyes flashed, making the fading purple bruise along his cheekbone pop in contrast. Lexie traced the edges of it with her eyes, silently thanking Jake for marring Colt’s usually perfect complexion, if only temporarily.
“Did you tell her we have matching war wounds?” she went on, her voice dripping with venom. She turned her head and held her hair back to give him a good view of her face. “I’m sure she’ll be proud to know how I got mine.”
Colt pressed his lips together and took another step into the room.
“Put on some clothes and get in the car. This is ridiculous,” he said. There was a deep warning in his voice, but Lexie ignored it.
“No,” she said. “In fact, I’m not going anywhere with you ever again.”
Colt’s face froze as he processed her words. “Excuse me?”
“Don’t play stupid. You heard me,” Lexie hissed. “Go find yourself another plaything. I’m done.”
“And I’m done with this tantrum!” he yelled. “I don’t have time for you to sulk. You want to make a point? Fine, you’ve made your point. Now, get dressed and let’s go!” he ordered, fire crackling behind his eyes.
But Lexie crossed her arms over her chest and held her ground. She was glad adrenaline was still on her side, because just beneath the buzz of anger she felt a growing sense of nausea. She’d never put her foot down with anyone before, and she honestly wondered if she might get sick. From the corner of her eye, she saw Olivia duck into her own bedroom, then reappear seconds later with a baseball bat hanging casually from her hands.
Colt saw it too and rolled his eyes. “Seriously? You’re going to beat me to death? I’d like to see you try,” he taunted, throwing Olivia an unimpressed glance.
“Oh, she’s serious, trust me. You should go,” Lexie said, glad her voice was still steady.
Colt took another step as his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “You throw me out of here, and I’m not coming back,” he said, his jaw set in a hard line. “Is that really what you want?”
“That is exactly what I want.”
“Oh, really? So, you want me to have you arrested for grand larceny? Because you’ve got about eight grand in jewelry that belongs to me,” he said, his voice smug, as if he expected her to be impressed by the amount of money he’d spent decorating her—as if that price would buy her obedience. Instead, his expression shifted as Lexie whirled on her heel, turning back the way she’d come.
“Wait here,” she called over her shoulder as she hurried back to her room. She ripped open the top drawer of her dresser and dug out case after case of high-quality gemstones, piling the boxes in front of her vanity mirror. Then she yanked a plastic grocery bag off her closet doorknob, dumped its contents onto her bed, and swept all of Colt’s gifts into the sack without a second thought.
When she returned to the living room, Colt, surprisingly, was waiting where he’d been told—though Olivia and her Louisville Slugger might have had something to do with that.
“Here,” Lexie said, shoving the bag into his hands. “It’s nice to know exactly how much I’m worth to you. Maybe you’ll get store credit.” She walked to the still-open door and stood beside it, an implicit order for him to leave.
Colt glanced down at the bag in his hands, and Lexie could see his whole body shaking with rage.
“I’ve spent two years on you, Lexie. Two years! And you’re just going to throw it away over nothing?”
“Two and a half years, actually, and I’m not throwing anything away, Colt. You did that all by yourself.”
He took a quick step toward her, his jaw clenched, but when Olivia raised her bat, he seemed to think better of it.
“You were such a waste of time,” he spat, as though desperately trying to have the final word. “Don’t come crawling to me when your guard dog gets sick of you.”
And then he stepped through the door, giving Lexie enough clearance to slam it shut. She turned the bolt and slid the chain home, then leaned back against the wood and sank slowly to the floor as her legs finally gave out.
Outside, Colt cursed loudly, and the door trembled as he took out his anger on it one final time before stomping away. Lexie held Olivia’s wide eyes for a breathless moment, listening to his footsteps fade, scarcely able to believe it was really over. Then, she laughed. It was the wildly inappropriate, slightly unhinged laughter born of adrenaline and panic. It was two years of stress leaking out of an overinflated balloon. And it felt good.
Lexie tucked her face against her bent knees and laughed until tears streamed from her eyes, wetting the legs of her soft pajamas. Then, looking up, she caught sight of the bright blue baseball bat in Olivia’s hands and the slightly concerned look on her friend’s face, and she started laughing all over again.
“Great practice, Blackhawks!” Jake shouted over the chatter of a dozen kids and their parents. “Next practice is on Thursday, and don’t forget there’s a game right here on Saturday morning at ten o’clock!”
Families scattered, probably trying to reach their cars before the sky opened up. The clouds that had piled on top of each other at the start of practice were growing darker, and the wind was rising. Jake hurried across the field, gathering forgotten soccer cones as he went. He stuffed everything into his bag and threw the strap over his shoulder before jogging toward the parking lot—but he stopped short when he reached the curb. A familiar silver Infiniti was waiting near his truck, and Lexie sat on the tailgate, swinging her legs as she looked up at the sky.
Jake hadn’t seen her since Friday night. He hadn’t heard from her since Saturday morning. And now he was almost dreading what she might say. She knew how he felt, he was sure of it. He’d watched the puzzle pieces come together in the dark and recognized the moment a switch flipped inside her, like she’d finally seen him for the first time.
The only question was what she would do with that information.
Lexie dropped her gaze from the storm clouds just as the first stray raindrops hit Jake’s skin, and when their eyes connected across the nearly empty lot, he felt the voltage from the storm crackle in his stomach. Her legs stopped swinging, and there was a moment when neither of them moved. Then, she hopped down and strode purposefully across the pavement.
Jake couldn’t tell if she was angry or just determined.
His tennis shoes were cemented to the sidewalk. He couldn’t have moved if he’d tried, and the closer she got, the tighter his rib cage seemed to become. His need to scoop her up and hold her tight tangled with an instinctive urge to run, to put distance between himself and whatever pain might be coming. He couldn’t exist in limbo anymore. Either they moved forward together, or he had to walk away.
Her gaze was laser-focused on him as she closed the distance, and he could feel it like hot pinpricks along the collar of his shirt and the edges of his sleeves. When she finally came to a stop in front of him, there was nothing but a roll of thunder to break the silence.
Jake had to remind himself to swallow.
“I broke up with Colt on Sunday,” she said finally, and he blinked. That was not the opening he’d been expecting.
“I’ve spent the last two days telling myself there is a respectful amount of time to wait before I can let myself be happy, like I’m mourning the dead, but I’ve finally stopped kidding myself,” she went on, looking up at him. “I’m not mourning anything. Whatever Colt and I used to be was over a long time ago; I just woke up enough to make it official.”
Lightning flashed across the sky, illuminating the green in her eyes, and Jake felt a timid sense of hope poke its head out of hiding and sniff the air.
“If I’m really being honest with myself,” she said, “the only person I’ve wanted for a long time is you.”
Jake stopped breathing, picking her words apart in his mind to see if they could possibly mean anything other than what he thought they meant. A dormant sense of self-preservation chose that moment to come alive, opening his mouth and forcing out words he couldn’t believe he was saying.
“Lex, I can’t just be a change of scenery.”
The uncertainty that had spread across her face during his silence began to clear, like clouds rolling back after a storm, and Jake saw the sun break through in her smile. She moved closer, and Jake’s fingers tightened around the strap of his sports bag as though reminding himself not to jump ahead. She hadn’t answered him yet.
Her hands came up and hovered over his collarbones, and he stood as still as possible, terrified something would spook her. His breath hitched when her palms settled gently against his shirt and began to travel upward. Her fingertips were cool compared to the humid air around them, leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake as they slid up his neck.
“You’re not,” she said, her eyes searching his. “You’re who I should have seen all along.”
Jake moved without thinking, and his bag hit the ground with a thud. All the times he’d kept his distance, all the times he’d stayed quiet, all the times he’d held himself back were suddenly erased as his hand shot out to cradle the back of her head. Lexie made a startled sort of sound when he tugged her forward and kissed her without hesitation, opting instead to make the most of a moment he still wasn’t completely convinced was real.
But despite her surprise, she didn’t protest. She didn’t step back. Instead, she slid her hands the rest of the way into his hair and matched him beat for beat. She was everything Jake had hoped she would be—soft and sweet, molded to fit in all the right places. He’d never had a first kiss that felt so familiar, as if they’d been together long ago and had only just found their way back—a little older, a little wiser, but still made for each other. His whole body sighed in relief.
Unconcerned, Mother Nature chose that moment to open the floodgates, and the lukewarm October rain drenched them in an instant. Jake grabbed Lexie’s hand and his gear, and they made a run for his truck. He could hear her laughing behind him, clinging to his hand as they splashed through the puddles that accumulated quickly in the empty parking lot, and a crazed sort of grin took over his face. He tossed his bag into the bed of the pickup and yanked open the driver’s side door, urging her in first. She scrambled over the center console and flopped into the passenger’s seat as he climbed in behind her.
“Talk about bad timing, huh?” Lexie said, giggling as she shoved a wet lock of hair out of her face. Jake could only grin, and he let himself stare at her without reservation. Even dripping wet, she was gorgeous.
“It was perfect,” he said, not even talking about the rain.
Lexie’s cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink as she ducked her head, not quite biting back a smile he’d have been able to see from a mile away. Just knowing he’d put it there was deeply satisfying. He twisted in his seat and leaned across the console, reaching for her the way he’d imagined a thousand times. The thunder that shook the windows and the lightning that lit the sky were worlds away as he kissed her again, this time moving carefully, like an explorer on uncharted land.
“Lex, will you go out with me?” he finally asked, barely lifting his lips from hers, and he felt her laugh.
“That’s a stupid question,” she said, and Jake could hear the smile in her voice. “What do you think?”