9. Santa Barbara
SANTA BARBARA
Jordyn
Naked, I floated on my back in the cold water off the California Central Coast, staring at a spray of stars.
Had I lost my mind?
Not at all.
Finally, I found it after years of entrapment.
Free ! The cold water didn’t bother me; I reveled in my freedom.
A deep inhale of the briny air, and I let the water push, pull, lift, tug.
Hell, the male species had done the same to me all my life.
Now this, I didn’t mind while lying beneath a sliver of moon.
In my peripheral, I saw movement along the shore and shot up to a standing position. My toes jammed into the soft, wet sand. I waded to shore like I belonged in the Garden of Eden before guilt made humans cover themselves.
My gaze followed a dog speeding ahead as its owner ambled behind, hands in pockets, a towel tucked beneath his massive arm.
That dog. Remi ? Reign ? “Rebel, stop!” My eyes widened .
“Rebel, sit,” Jamie ordered. Although the dog obeyed, Jamie seemed to realize I wanted to avoid the mangy mutt. He picked up a small piece of driftwood and tossed it. “Fetch.”
The dog took off like a firecracker. Okay, maybe she wasn’t a mangy mutt. She had the shiniest coat ever and the longest, whitest teeth. Wait a minute . Long teeth? I trembled in the night.
Jamie must’ve thought I was cold. Probably should’ve been.
He’d shocked my heart to life twenty-four hours ago.
He held out a towel and wrapped me in it.
I waited for his powerful arms to encircle my waist, but he stepped back.
Nor had he looked anywhere but my eyes when wrapping me into the soft towel that caressed my skin like a dream.
Was I not pretty to?—?
My head shook as I grappled with the confusion of being objectified. Who was I now? Free. “Thank you.”
He shrugged.
“No. Not for the towel. Well, yes. For the towel.” Girl, you could’ve been a courtesan in ancient Rome and knocked Ceasar down to size . What is wrong with you ? Sound coherent . “I appreciate the towel, but if the man standing in front of me is the real you?—”
“It is,” he declared, voice deep. “No pretenses, Jordyn.”
“Alright.” I lifted a shoulder. “So, I owe you for saving my life.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Well, I have to repay you.” Would he have a fetish?
Would he—No. I wanted to believe he wasn’t like that.
Same as I had assumed with Katlego. Although kings in South Africa weren’t absolute monarchs, he included me in ceremonies.
Wined and dined me. Took me into more wealthy territories and on excursions throughout Cape Town, Cape Peninsula, Garden Route. It was different.
And then I was sold. Another man’s property.
If Jamie was truly a good man, how did I?—
“You’re shivering, Jordyn. ”
“It’s cold.” And I never resided in a world where things were given freely. So how did I repay the man?
Jamie strode to the bags on the ground. Grabbed them all.
Everything but the briefcase—with his money.
If this was a game of trust, Jamie knew the rules of engagement.
When would he show me his true colors? You didn’t go through what we had and still be whole.
Loving. Joyful. At peace. If I was mistaken and hadn’t taken the man at his word, I could …
fall in love with this man. So, I’d better hold out hope. In the meantime, try to be nice, Jordy.
As I grabbed my briefcase and followed him into the house, I told myself not to condemn Jamie for what other men had done to me. Not to turn my wrath against him. But the thing was, the part of my heart that never grew up since we last crossed paths still hated him. Couldn’t help it.
“Shower? Dinner?” Jamie asked. “It might be too late for dinner, but if you’re hungry, I’ll cook.” He pressed a button inside of the entry. The door closed.
“Have you eaten?” I asked. Why wasn’t he asking why I returned? Heck, I should be grateful. Even I didn’t know the answer to that.
Jamie shook his head.
“Okay, thank you. Dinner sounds good. After I shower, should I, uh, pick another room? You have lots?” Yes , this was a test . Two could play that game for as long as it took my guard to fall.
“No.”
My heart deflated. Alright, he’s like Katlego .
“I haven’t slept in a bed in over six years.” Jamie started toward the open living room kitchen.
Following after him, I stared at his back, muscles moving in fluid motion while he’d already started for a sleek cabinet—that was so not a cabinet. It was a custom refrigerator. “What? Why?” I asked .
“Got comfortable on cots, tents, in the elements of the Indo-Pacific Command. If you prefer to sleep under the stars, we can do that too.”
“Oh, no.” My chin jutted to the glass wall as he placed a handful of colorful vegetables on the island. “What you saw was just a free woman’s rite of passage.”
An hour later, I’d showered and dressed in Old Navy pajamas.
Maybe that was why I adored Katlego. He allowed me to wear more than freak ‘em attire when I accompanied him to greet his citizens. Although I’d never shopped at Old Navy, a part of me had a desire to dress like a nun.
The store’s mannequins seemed like the closest I could get.
Strolling into the kitchen, I touched my hair, which felt like tiny crunchy tresses. Uncooked ramen noodles. “I knew I should’ve bought some real hair products,” I muttered.
“Should’ve what?” With a raised eyebrow, Jamie wielded his chopping knife like a hatchet.
“Don’t worry about it. But do you belong in the kitchen?”
He glanced at me, those soulful teal eyes that could make me obsess over this man locked onto mine.
King Katlego 2.0, be damned. Jamie laughed.
The carefree sound did more than please my ears.
It was a double whammy, with his eyes lancing me straight to the heart.
I knew I shouldn’t desire this man. Not so soon after he set me free— if he had freed me—and not when I didn’t even know … me.
Gosh. My mind was a mess. Though playful, I rolled my eyes. “Get out of the kitchen, Jamie.”
He smiled, letting me push him. I was secretly appreciative of it, too, because I imagined it looked like I wanted to move a tank without it being in neutral. All on my lonesome.
Jamie went around the island and snorted. “You don’t think I can cook?”
“Did I say that?” My hand dropped onto my hip as I glanced at the bell peppers.
All the shapes and sizes—julienne and non-julienne.
“If this is any indication, I imagine you can catch a chicken, pluck it, and place it over an open fire while backpacking across the world. Hell, even I can’t do that. ”
“Y’know what?” Jamie rubbed his jaw. “Maybe I should’ve further elaborated about my willingness to sleep on the floor. Yeah, I wanna protect you. But I wasn’t just some rich boy backpacking across the world. I was a Marine Raider.”
“A Marine what? What in the Indiana Jones are you talking about?” I glanced up from the vegetables that needed my attention. What a mess .
“Marine Raider. Why do I have to explain myself?” Jamie rubbed a hand through his hair.
I shut my mouth from asking if he hid the good conditioner because his hair floated down perfectly over his shoulders.
My eyes landed on the olive oil. It would work for my hair, my skin …
and the chicken breasts—that could become drier than my hair if I didn’t give them the love and attention they deserved.
I tuned into Jamie, and he was muttering under his breath.
I arched a brow. “What?”
He sighed and said, “Okay, I’ll ask? You’ve heard of a Navy SEAL?”
“Sure have.” I smiled. “From nonfiction to fiction. Love them.”
“But you haven’t …”
My brow lifted. “Heard of a Marine Treasure?—”
“Raider.”
I chuckled. “I’ll let you tell me a story sometime.”
“Fair enough. We have all the time in the world, right?” He sat, his elbows on the marble, chin in his hands. “Do we have all the time in the world, Jordyn? Or will you be running off every time you’re confused?”
“Excuse me?” I glanced down at the knife in my hand, halfway done adding conformity to his butcher work.
“How about we stick a pin in analyzing me?” A destructive animosity, capable of demolishing a skyscraper, washed over me.
Stabbed my veins, resulting in unrestrained truth.
“Oh, so we’re at the part where we discuss the rules, which means I can’t run off, but you can get rid of me? ”
“Jor—”
I could love you forever, Jordyn, Katlego had said with each kiss .
“You want to keep me forever or until a beautiful, younger woman comes along?” As I spoke, Jamie’s mouth formed a line.
“From where I’m standing, it’s always the latter.
Now that we’ve got that covered, and I’m fine with you not promising me forever, let’s jump into the part where I thank you for saving me.
It ultimately comes down to that. Me thanking you. ”
“Jordyn, stop being sarcastic.”
“You left me to be raped—raped by a bag of bones. Yes, you were a kid, Jamie. So, I shouldn’t hold you accountable.
But there’s a disconnect between my thoughts and feelings.
” Indignation tightened my chuckle into something salty and bitter.
“While I was sold and sold and sold, you went away. Became a good soldier. Saved the world. So, here’s a big thank-you for saving me.
” My thank-you had all the ash and cinder of another simple two-word expression that ended with you .
Jamie nodded slowly, as if letting my hard-hitting words penetrate. “That’s the farthest thing from the truth. Except for?—”
“Except for what?”
“The part where I was a soldier, and it wasn’t the world I saved, but another little girl in a cage. She … ahem … reminded me of you.”