28. Big Bear #2
Her chin trembled as her hand slid up to the side of my face. “Then I’m good where we are in our relationship, Jamie.”
I pressed my forehead to hers, letting the quiet fall between us.
I’d stoked the fire again sometime last night, then pulled Jordyn back into my arms. Now, I awoke to the scent of pine and ash. Pale winter light filtered through the frosted windows.
Jordyn stirred beneath the heavy quilt beside me, her breath catching before her eyes opened.
“You okay?” I asked. Last night, seeing her beneath Rocket. Man, that still gutted me.
“I wasn’t. But sleep … And you—and your emo black hair …” She grinned as if just noticing my dye job.
“I’ve gotta wash this out.” I started to rise.
Jordyn wrapped her arms around me, not letting me go. “No ya don’t, Mr. MacKenzie. You haven’t been relieved of duty.”
I laughed, hugging her back. My arms became a shield around her body as I pressed my lips against hers. “We can’t continue doing this indefinitely. Me. You. Same bed. Maybe once more … If I marry you tomorrow, will you say?—”
“I’ll say yes.” Jordyn cackled .
I flipped her until she was on top of me, and my fingers tangled into her hair. Then I caught myself. “Yeah. Can’t do this.”
She got off me with a groan.
I grabbed her thigh. “You said yes, Jordyn. Remember that tomorrow.” Apparently, I had twenty-four hours to find and kill Chelomey.
“Boy, if this is a joke, I’m the butt end of it.”
“You’re not, but we both know I have a list. I just have to cross a few things off first.”
“Like what?”
“Aleksandr.” We sat up in bed. “I’ve got something to discuss with you. First, where’s Rebel?”
Compassion warmed Jordyn’s face as she wrapped a flannel blanket around her shoulders. “I’m so sorry?—”
Terror tightened my chest. I’d bought the pup from a kid. That sick kid was trying to drown her. I named her, trained her, and loved her. Rebel was my little girl. “She’s dead?”
“No. Okay, so I’m sorry for the inference as well.
You know you’re the first person I’ve really socialized with.
You and your mom.” Jordyn shook her head.
“Big Brody, Leith, Camdyn, and Lachlan had to take her to a veterinarian in San Bernardino. Apparently, the nearest place was all out of antibiotics.” Again, she murmured an apology.
“Ugh. I can’t reprimand them. We had a Rottweiler once. Of all our dogs, she was the best.” I shoved a few fingers through my hair, pushing it out of the way. “So, it was just you and Mam?”
“Your other brother dropped by with Rocket around dinner time …”
One of my brothers brought Rocket here? I knew the answer but chose to play dumb. Best to err on the side of caution before I killed a man—my blood. “Which brother? You only named half of them. ”
She chewed her lip. “Little Brody. You … uh … just got quiet. Weird quiet. So, I’ll just say this—you can’t kill him.”
“Why not?” I climbed out of bed.
“Because … because Brody had good intentions.” She explained about Mam and the others, and how Brody had made Rocket apologize and then followed him down the hill.
“I hear you, JorJor. However, all I understand is that Brody’s here now, right?”
“Ye—”
“And he allowed this to happen.”
“N—”
Before I reached the door, Jordyn flew past me.
My brow lifted. “What are you doing?”
“Stopping you from murdering your brother.”
I picked her up by the waist and placed her out of the way. Reached for the door.
“Jamie, you went after Nolan or Old Bones Hagerty. Which one?”
A muscle underneath my jaw twitched. Seems we are gonna have this chat now . I gritted out, “Hagerty. One shot. It’s over. Now, may I?”
Her eyes welled, yet no tears fell. “You really …?”
Eye for an eye flashed before my eyes. How would I punish my eldest brother for what he allowed?
Ring his neck since Jordyn’s throat shows slight handprints. Just squeeze it until he ? —
And then I glanced at Jordyn. This time, when I placed my hands around her waist, it wasn’t to move her because she no longer blocked my path to vengeance.
I sat on the chair near the door and placed her on my lap.
“Yes, I really did it.” My voice softened.
“For you. Me. Lisette. Anyone stuck in that basement. I also made an anonymous call to the police. Told them to search Hagerty’s home just in case … y’know? ”
Sighing, Jordyn wedged her face against my neck. Breathed in. “My heart feels lighter just to hear you say that the Gov”—she shook her head as if fleeing the compulsion of that sick title—“can’t harm another person.”
“Speaking of harm. Listen, I have a program scrubbing the internet for Aleksandr right now. Before the police arrived at his home in July, he fled. I know he has other houses.”
“Yep.” She sighed. “Bratva Tsar perks.”
“I need to take care of him for you.”
“Sounds like you want to leave me here again while you’re off finishing your hit list.”
“No.” I scoffed. “Well.”
“You and your list, Jamie. Remember, you had items on the list to help me feel at home at your place? I understand that’s how your brain works. Which means, if you find him, you’re not marrying me tomorrow because you’ll be too busy cutting down his ranks?”
“I want to marry you tomorrow. But yes. Rules of engagement indicate that I need to protect you. I’ll have another discussion with my family. Maybe get more of them to watch you and Rebel …” I groaned. My poor girl.
“What about you? I just said Aleksandr has an entire Bratva backing him, Jamie! Let’s go down to Mexico.
I’ll wait tables. You’ll—” She scrubbed a hand over her head.
“Okay, that sounded dumb. But you aren’t doing this for us.
You’re doing it for me. Ugh ! This is all my fault. ” She worked her way out of my lap.
“Jor—”
“It is.” Her shoulders lifted. “Let’s eat breakfast. For some reason, our life is like an action flick where nobody gets to eat.”
“Speaking of which.” I scrubbed the back of my neck, following her out of the room and downstairs. “I got a burrito for you from El Ch?—”
“Excuse me?” Jordyn’s tone was more had I lost my mind? than an attempt at clarification. Hand on hips, she stood in the middle of the living room. “You. Went. To. El Chuy. Without. Me?”
A smile perched on my lips. How else would I respond to her wrath? “Listen, I put it on dry ice.”
“So, we’re gonna pretend that was your idea?” came a murmured Italian voice hidden beneath mounds of blankets in front of the fireplace.
“Shuddup, Lorenzo G?—”
“You about to use my entire government? Too early, fra .” Enzo chuckled, climbing to his feet in the same clothes as yesterday. “Sweetheart, just call me Enzo.”
Jordyn shook his hand. “Thank you for helping Jamie yesterday.”
“No, no. Your guy is a beast. Handled every element of our mission. Even the TikTok ice cream.”
Her eyes brightened in delight. “You brought me ice cream, too?”
Uh-oh. Enzo bought just the two ice creams. We ate them after using them as a solid alibi . I put my arm around her waist and led her into the kitchen. “Breakfast first. Then ice cream.”
“ Mm-hmm .” Jordyn pulled out a mixing bowl. “You didn’t get me ice cream. I’ll pay you back one way or another. And I have a lifetime to do it. Now, help me cut some bell peppers. I’m cooking frittatas for your friend.”
“What about me?” I folded my arms.
“Heh, sounds like I’m Jordyn’s inspiration.” Enzo wriggled his brows.
“Do that again. I dare you.”
“Jamie,” Jordyn snapped.
“Looks like someone got their marching orders.” Enzo saluted me while folding a blanket neater than any of my brothers ever had.
The glare I cut warned him to keep laughing. One day, he’d blow through the bevy of right nows he kept nailing. A woman unwilling to tolerate his nonsense would bring him to heel. And I was here for it.
We were soon seated at the dining room table. As I’d made introductions between Enzo, Mam, and Little Brody, Mam slapped my brother’s hand. “Mind your manners. The chef prays.”
He placed the serving spoon back into the bowl.
I spoke up. “I can?—”
Jordyn stepped on my foot under the table. Leg jittering, she said a quick prayer for breakfast.
Once we started eating, I said, “Mam, I need to ask you something.” Something I didn’t want her running to the kitchen for that food hammer she used or crying.
“What’s this about?” Mam took a bite of food. “Oh, Jordyn. You’ve added a delightful spin to these frittatas.”
“Thank you.” Jordyn blushed.
In between bites, Brody grunted the same, and Enzo offered a chef’s kiss.
Still on the task at hand, I said, “I need you to call Nolan.”
“Jamie, we’ll handle him.” She patted my shoulder, her voice soft—too soft. It was that strange tone she reserved for me when I was six years old instead of over six feet tall.
Oh, c’mon. I stiffened. She was still using a different tone of voice with me than with my brothers. I remembered a time before the abuse. This wasn’t the voice of my mother.
Although my abduction and disappearance later from the clan after Devi’s death caused her intense grief, my mom needed to understand I’d grown. The structure of black-ops missions helped me grow, helped me focus. She needed to see that.
As I stared at Mam, something in her shifted. She held my gaze, and for a moment, I saw it. A flicker in her eyes. Like she knew. Like she remembered all the times she’d talked to me like I was breakable. Contaminated. Something to pity .
Like a placenta.
Aye . That .
A sigh escaped her thin lips, long and weary. “I’m sorry, Jamie.”
The words cracked something open in me, and deeper than that, cracked something true.
A memory from my wrecked childhood.
Who came for ye, Jamie?” Nolan’s voice had gotten slick and raspy. “Not yer mam, yer da. ME. Uncle Nolan loves you. I love you …
I’d believed him.
I had. That twisted bastard had sunk his claws in and rewired my grief into loyalty. Made himself the savior of my story. And I’d let him. Let the lie burrow into my soul and poison the love I had for my clan.
Leith had been right. Jordyn too. I hadn’t just distanced myself. I turned my back on them. Hated them in my heart because of the King of Mind Games.
No point in pointing fingers now. I’d played my part.
Let the lies take root. Grow. So, I owned it.
“Mam, I’m sorry too,” I replied, voice rough.
“For disappearing. For what happened in Da’s study.
For—” My hand raked through my hair, trying to tame the mess that clanged inside. “I’ve gotta a lot to apologize for.”
She smiled. Soft. Real. The pressure lifted from her shoulders as if she’d finally allowed herself to forgive—not just me, but herself too.
“You were a Marine Raider, I was told?” she gently asked, pride glimmering in her eyes.
“Yes. If you want to see pictures, hear stories, I’d be glad too. Later.” I was still a man on a mission, after all. “Let’s call Nolan.”
“I’ll get him on the phone.” Mam nodded. “Albeit, I won’t be in charge of my response, which is why I’d rather not call him and tip him off.”
That was my mother. Not the coddling woman that tragedy created .
“Fine by me. Let’s finish breakfast first.”
My request seemed to somber the mood for breakfast, but it had to be done. I was ready for tomorrow to come, whether that meant going after Aleksandr one more time or?—
A buzz brought my attention to my cell phone next to my glass of OJ. Dad . I answered on the first ring. “How’s Reb?”
“After a horrible night in the waiting room moaning the whole time, the doctor took her in around sunrise. She’s still somewhat sedated. The vet cleaned her wound again. This new antibiotic is more potent than your supply from Los Angeles. Just left Redlands. On the 210.”
That was one issue resolved. “Be careful once you start coming up the 330.”
“ Me son’s giving me advice?” I heard a faint chuckle before Dad terminated the call.
I relayed our chat with everyone and how the forty-minute commute would double because of safe drivers, scary drivers, and snow.
Brody stared out the sliding glass door. “With the way the snow’s coming, they’ll be an hour. Maybe more. Well, glad to hear your dog’s still got some bark in her. You ready to make that call?”
“Yeah.” I looked at Mam.
As she removed the phone from her culottes, Jordyn sprang to her feet. “I’ll start washing dishes.”
“Later.” I placed a hand over hers as she reached for my dish. “I’ll help.”
“Nah. Hearing that man’s voice will just remind me of how bitter I used to be. Not trying to fall into that trap. Besides, I’m with your mom. I’m liable to say something crazy. And then I’d be hotter than fish grease because I can’t back up what I say. He’s a cop.”
Didn’t mean Nolan was above the law. Jordyn buzzed around the table, stacking plates that didn’t have a scrap of food left on them. Man, I didn’t know her pain. But I was about to give the sole reason why she and the others stayed in captivity.
Uncle Nolan let children be?—
The second she walked away, Mam made the call.
The phone rang once, twice. He answered. “Nan, what do I owe the pleasure of hearing your pretty voice?”
“Cut the crap, Nolan.”
“ Och , c’mon lassie. I had a thing for you in primary school. Long before Big Brody entered the picture. The bawbag wasn’t all that big then, either.”
“Nolan, I’ll give you to the count of three to tell me why.” Her voice cracked. “Why didn’t you tell us about the other children?”
Silence. And then a heavy sigh. “I-I needed someone with pull on my side. Your clan was great to have in my pocket, but neither you nor your husband were gunning for a position in Congress.”
Her bottom lip quivered. “I just told me son I wouldn’t be liable for what I said. For so long, I’ve prayed and then taken vengeance into my own hands. I-I’m speechless.” She slammed up from the table so fast that the back leg of the chair snapped. “ You were me friend, Nolan!”