Chapter 1
Tara
“My appetite is raging.” Nora, my brother’s fated mate, reaches across the table to snag another two thick slices of garlic bread.
For someone who spent her first days with us locked in Cole’s room for fear of facing us, she’s certainly made herself at home.
“I don’t know what it is. I guess it’s all the time I spent not being allowed to eat very much.
My body wants to make up for lost time.”
Normally, even that casual reminder of the hell she went through for so long would make me cringe and struggle against a powerful wave of guilt.
It’s something I’ve thought about for weeks, ever since we learned the truth about how she ended up in the woods alone all those years ago, the night Dad died protecting her.
We spent the years since going out of our way to torment her, like it was our vocation or something.
And all the time, she was as much a victim as our parents.
I’ve spent weeks flinching and cringing under the weight of my guilt, especially now that we know she’s Cole’s mate.
I’ve wracked my brain to find ways to make it up to her, though I know it won’t be that easy.
She has to be the one to accept my efforts.
It’s not exactly that she hasn’t. There’s still a lot of awkwardness between us, is all.
We’re kind to each other; we don’t avoid speaking, but there’s no warmth yet.
When I see the way Cole looks at her, like she hung the moon and the whole world revolves around her, I wish we could be best friends for his sake.
Tonight, though? I have bigger things on my mind.
“What’s up with you?” Zeke gives me a kick under the table. “You haven’t stopped fidgeting since you sat down.” Declan, our older brother and pack alpha, raises an eyebrow from across the table.
“Is that true?” Do I sound casual? Probably not, but I’m trying my best. The fact is, I’m about as close to screaming out loud as I’ve ever been.
I’m burning up inside, heart pounding, blood pumping.
Now that Zeke’s brought my attention to it, I realize I’ve been bouncing my knee up and down all throughout dinner.
When I force myself to stop, my fingers tap against the table.
Sort of like plugging up a hole in a bucket just for another hole to pop open.
The storm brewing in me needs a way of being released.
This isn’t the first time I’ve felt this way, either.
In fact, the past three weeks have been a constant struggle.
Ever since the night Cole and I wound up drugged by Nora’s so-called family, there’s been this pull inside me that’s impossible to deny.
This longing, this silent demand that I go back to the place where the attack happened, then to keep going until I’ve crossed the border between our territory and the lands designated for the bear clan.
Zeke and Declan explained a bear helped us the night of the attack. We were that close to the border.
Now, my wolf is ready to run there, the way she’s wanted to all this time. Every day it’s gotten a little harder to resist the pull, but I have to. There’s no choice. The law is clear: step foot over the border, and you’re as good as dead.
So why am I being drawn there? It can’t be the pull of my mate… can it? Why would my mate be a bear and not a wolf?
“I’m going for a run.” I’m out of my chair before I know what I’m doing, and my wolf purrs in my head, relieved that she’s finally getting what she wants.
“Want me to come with?” Zeke asks, wiping his mouth on a napkin as I push my chair into position.
“No, I just want a little alone time.” I can’t miss the way Nora winces at my sharp tone.
She’s working on feeling more comfortable around us, and the same goes double from my side, but this isn’t about her.
If I didn’t feel so much like I’m about to burst out of my skin, I would explain that.
Instead, I waste no more time heading out the back door and stripping down on the porch.
The sky is moonlit and star-spangled—it’s under that light I shift, letting my wolf run free.
I’m not strong enough to fight anymore. I can’t control this.
She knows where she’s going and moves quickly, efficiently, tearing through the woods.
It’s like all of the energy used to hold her back was stored up and now bursts free, pushing me faster.
My lungs burn and my legs ache from the effort of getting there as quickly as I can, but it isn’t long until the familiar scent of my fellow wolves turns into something different.
Something almost overpowering but not enough to keep me away.
There’s no going back now once I’m over the border and moving deeper into bear territory. I know I should turn back, but there’s no hope of that. It’s too late.
I know that once I hear the heavy footfalls against the packed earth. When the scent of bear gets so strong, it drowns out the sweet, familiar scents of the woods around me. The hair on the back of my neck rises and my body tenses, my muscles poised, ready for whatever is about to happen.
At least, I tell myself I’m ready before the bears emerge from the deep shadow of the tree canopy. One, two, four, six—eventually, I lose count as they surround me. Their heavy breathing is almost as loud as the pounding of my heart. Aggression fills the air, hitting me in waves.
I’m going to die here. What was I thinking? I’ve broken the oldest and most highly held of all of our laws. The penalty is death. It doesn’t matter the reason.
Amazing how many thoughts can fly through a brain in only a few seconds. I see Cole, Declan. Zeke. I see the pain they’ll go through. I’m responsible for our family getting even smaller, and all because I wasn’t strong enough to fight this impulse.
My heart is about to break for them when the largest bear of all steps out of the circle formed around me. He is enormous, with dark brown fur and eyes that are almost black, glittering under the light of the moon. His paws are massive, easily capable of shredding my body if he decides to.
My heart is going to burst out of my chest when the realization hits.
My mate. This is him. My reason for living, the soul my soul is inextricably bound to for all eternity.
There is a sense of growing excitement mixed with the certainty that this is all wrong.
Like cream after it’s poured into coffee, swirling around.
His deep, authoritative voice trickles into my awareness, fainter than the voices of my brothers and the other wolves, but still present. “Shift. Show yourself to me.”
Does he know who I am to him? The way he’s looking at me, I don’t think so. Could it be possible I’m the only one feeling this? Even though it will mean standing naked in front of a bunch of bloodthirsty bears, there is no denying my mate’s command.
I let the shift take over, now standing in my human form in front of my aggressor.
Soon, I’m not the only one. My mate shifts, going from a heavily furred bear on all fours to a chiseled, large-framed man whose eyes are just as dark and just as unsympathetic as before.
His shining dark hair gleams when he inclines his head a little.
“You shouldn’t have come here.” His voice!
Like warm honey being poured over my body.
All I want is to savor it, but I can’t ignore the message.
When all I can do is stand here gaping at him, his nostrils flare in an exasperated sigh. “My clan is about to kill you, little wolf.”
No. That can’t be right. “But…” I whisper, finally finding my voice. “But can’t they tell? I mean, don’t they know?”
Another sigh, this one enough to make his broad shoulders rise and fall. “They do. They’re only waiting for me to reject you before they close in.”
Reject me.
My fated mate is prepared to reject me. He doesn’t even seem surprised that I found him or that I exist. He’s already decided I’m not worth having. Only the worst of the worst are rejected by their mates.
Well, I qualify, don’t I? Somehow, over the pain of my broken heart and my wolf’s agony, I understand I deserve this.
I’m not worthy of being claimed after what I did to Nora for so long.
I took my pain out on her again and again until hating her was more the point than anything to do with Mom or Dad.
And I took pleasure in it. That’s the worst part.
This is my repayment. Being rejected by the one living creature I was meant for.
A hundred stories of rejected mates and their miserable existences crowd my already overwhelmed mind.
How am I supposed to live with this? How can he look at me, standing naked in front of him, and not feel the same pull I do? How is that possible?
Wait. What am I thinking? How can I wonder and worry about how I’ll get through this when it’s obvious I won’t live to see tomorrow?
There are low, menacing growls beginning to fill the air.
I sense their impatience. They want him to get this over with.
To reject me once and for all so they can tear me to pieces.
How was I supposed to know my life would end tonight? How could I have known the last time I looked at my family would be the last time ever?
My heart stutters when he steps closer to me. This is it. This is when I die. He doesn’t say a word, but he doesn’t have to. I know what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling. He is my fated mate, after all.
Somebody needs to explain all of this to my body, since his nearness makes my skin flush and desire pool in my core. My nipples tighten, and I go wet between my thighs. He has to smell it. I know he does. He has to know what he’s doing to me. Is he feeling the same way?
Touch. Feel. Mate. My wolf only wants one thing. Forget survival, forget what they’re about to do to me. I can’t die without at least touching this man, who towers over me and stares down with a look of stern disapproval.
I have to. I have to raise my hand and place it on his chest, where dark hair covers his skin. A shiver of pleasure races through me when I feel the firmness of his muscle, the heat of him, the strong heartbeat under my palm. It’s electric. And it feels so right.
His eyes widen, his heavy brows lifting, but he doesn’t say a word. He doesn’t try to push me away, either, which means a lot more. It’s one thing to know he’s about to reject me, but totally different to have him physically shove me away from him.
If I’m going to die, I’m at least going to have my first kiss before I do. Not many people are lucky enough to have their first kiss with their fated mate, even if I wouldn’t consider anything about this lucky.
Before I can overthink it, I stand up on tiptoes, my lips seeking his sensuous mouth in one last act of desperation. Before he can stop me, I make contact, and the pleasure deepens as I kiss him for the first and last time.
He might want to reject me, but I’ll make sure he doesn’t forget me.