Chapter 3
Whiskey stared at the mounting pile of paperwork on Leo’s desk. It seemed his friend covered for him more than he let on. Stormy seemed to scramble to get purchasing orders handled by digging through the pile on Leo’s desk. She reminded him of appointments constantly and left in tears.
At first, Whiskey imagined it might be because of Leo’s death. When he went to close her office after she left in such a rush, he noticed the papers on the floor. Apparently, Stormy took Leo’s place and tried covering for him. The feeling didn’t sit well with him. He didn’t know how to fix it.
Locking up the empty facility and strapping in Hope, Whiskey got into his truck and drove home, perplexed about what to do.
When he pulled into his garage, he sat inside his truck, mulling over Claire, Dr. Myer’s advice about living in a fog, and trying new medications.
Reluctant to try anything except the medications for anxiety, Whiskey faced the fact he gave the bare minimum at work and at home.
Even Samantha made excuses for him to keep him from feeling guilty. It hit him like a punch to the gut.
A tapping on his window got his attention. Whiskey smiled at his beautiful wife and opened the door.
“Hey, Sunshine,” he greeted her.
“Hi,” she said, gazing at him. “I heard you pull into the garage ten minutes ago. Did you and Hope have a bad day?” she asked, glancing at the service dog.
“I’m mulling over a problem,” he said, still uncertain.
“L.J. and Ari went to Lizzy and Michael’s to play for a while,” she explained. “Why don’t you come in and I’ll make us a cup of tea?”
“They did?” He asked, surprised. “Ari’s too young to play with Beth.”
“Believe it or not, kids don’t care about age. They’re hanging out there for a while,” she teased. “I’m done in the shop this evening. We have some time to ourselves.”
“Oh?” he said. “I’m sorry, Sunshine. I’m afraid I won’t be good company,” he said sadly.
“Why don’t we get Hope fed and then we can chat for a bit?” she suggested softly. “I know you’ve struggled with the news of Leo. It must bring back a ton of unsettling feelings for you.”
Whiskey got out and released Hope, who ran into the house. Samantha put her arm around him, and they walked inside together. He smelled his favorite shortbread cookies and saw the teapot by the stove, ready to steep.
“You know exactly what I need,” he said, kissing her.
“If you feed Hope, I’ll take the cookies into the living room,” she suggested gently. “I added the water to the pot a minute ago.”
“Thank you,” he said, heading toward the pantry, where they stored the dog food.
He scooped out the measured portion and sprinkled a few salmon skins on top as a treat.
“There ya go, girl,” he said, smiling softly.
The dog saved his life and his marriage.
When Leo brought him home, he didn’t feel worthy of Samantha after all the torture he endured.
If his best friend had stopped searching for him all those years ago, he’d still be suffering in some hot desert somewhere.
When Hope finished eating, he took her outside. When they returned, he found Samantha sitting on the couch, waiting for him. Hope curled up on her bed and watched them.
Whiskey sat beside her, and she cuddled into his shoulder. “What’s on your mind?” she asked softly.
“Leo,” he admitted, feeling ashamed for letting his best friend down.
“Hmmm,” she said, letting him take his time to gather his thoughts.
“Sunshine, I have something to say, and I don’t know where to begin,” he said, taking the cookie she offered him.
“You can tell me anything. If your thoughts come out jumbled, then we’ll unscramble them. We’re a team,” she reminded him.
“I think Stormy left today because I made her cry,” he confessed.
“What happened?” she asked patiently.
“She asked me about a shipment, and I didn’t know where I put it. Then, she asked me about Rocker’s paperwork. When I asked her why, she stated she needed to know his hire date. I put it on hold since I didn’t know what to do.”
“Did Leo tell you what he wanted you to do with Rocker?” she asked, sitting up and pouring them each a cup of tea.
“Yeah. We planned on bringing him onto the team,” he explained. “They’ve stayed in Afghanistan, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
“Will they eventually return home?” she asked sadly.
“I’m not sure when they’ll give up their search.
Leo never told me about searching for you.
I’ll never forget the day he told me about you dying.
I’ve never seen him…broken. He always acts like a fierce leader, and your supposed death crushed him. ”
“His death has… gutted me,” Whiskey stammered, trying to control his emotions. “I’m lost, and I don’t know what to do.”
“Do you need to speak with Claire, or can you talk to me about it?”
“I can’t sort out my feelings. It’s not something Claire can handle,” he said slowly. “I returned some time ago from captivity. I’ve gone through therapy and practiced the exercises Claire has taught me. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you and Leo have let me get away with things.”
“What do you mean?” she asked calmly. Samantha took a bite of her cookie and waited for Whiskey to process everything before he spoke.
“I walked into Leo’s office today and stared at two months of work not completed.
He hired me to manage his office, and I have slacked off and let him do it on top of managing the team.
I’m supposed to train the new hires, except for the missions.
I haven’t instructed a single person who walked in our doors.
Leo took over Sparky and Stormy’s training.
Shadow worked with Cole, and Taco handled Hollywood,” he said, feeling frustrated.
“I didn’t think about it until today when Stormy asked me about the payment of one of the invoices.
I never did it. Leo’s covered for me,” he said uncomfortably.
“I’m sure he did it out of love,” she assured him.
Whiskey set his teacup on the table and rested his elbows on his knees.
“It’s not only him. You’ve done it, too.
Every time Ari gets cranky, you step in and take over for me.
When LJ gets too loud, or I’ve come home after a bad day, you send him to his room,” he said gently.
“It’s as if you don’t think I can handle the situations. ”
“I’ll admit I’ve done those things. Like Leo, I did them from a place of love.
When you first returned, loud noises bothered you.
You pushed me away. Maybe some part of me still feels if things get too difficult, you might walk away from us.
It hurt when you refused my help the first time,” Samantha said, sounding as uneasy as he felt.
“I will never make that mistake again, Sunshine. You have my word. I might’ve acted strongly when Bryan bowed out gracefully.
Losing you made me feel worse than getting tortured daily by those assholes.
I told myself letting you go might be the best thing for you.
It’s because I didn’t know how to face resentment, fear, or worry in my head.
I’m in therapy, and I help run the groups at the hospital for PTSD.
Yet, I didn’t want to try the medications Claire suggested because I felt it might make me appear weak. ”
“Whiskey,” she admonished. “You’re the strongest man I know. How many other men endured torture and still searched for the sunrise? You did it because it represented one less day of hell and one more day closer until you came back to me.”
“Ack, Sunshine. It still hurts,” he said, holding his chest. “Sometimes, I don’t feel whole.
It doesn’t help when you don’t hold me accountable to anything.
Leo did the same. We hold LJ responsible for doing his homework, emptying the dishwasher, and putting away his clothes.
You don’t even trust me with my own socks. ”
“What do you want me to do about it? Shall I leave your socks and underwear for you to fold?” she asked teasingly. “I’m aware of your capabilities. Maybe Leo felt the same. We didn’t push you because we didn’t want you to fall back into your old way of thinking.”
“See? There’s my problem. I didn’t give it my best, and I feel like shit.
I’m bollixed,” he said vehemently. “It’s not you who needs changing.
It’s me. How can you expect more from me when I’ve slacked off all this time?
I’ve got Stormy doing office work when she’s supposed to handle the supplies.
If I don’t bring in Rocker, I’ll risk losing him to another security firm. ”
“Then, what do you want to do about it?” she asked gently, rubbing his shoulder.
“For starters, stop tiptoeing around me. I must learn how to adapt. Second, I’m making an appointment with Claire.
I can’t live in a haze anymore. It won’t be an overnight fix, but it’ll help,” he said thoughtfully.
“Leo hired me to manage the facility, and I’ve let him down.
In doing so, I’ve jeopardized Catherine and her children’s future.
It’s time I stepped up to the plate,” he said firmly.
Samantha smiled and took his hand. “From now on, I’ll hold you accountable. I have never lost my faith in you, Whiskey. You retreated, and I didn’t know how to handle it. Maybe I need to join a support group for people with spouses with PTSD. It might help us both grow.”
Whiskey cupped her cheek, already feeling the weight lifted from his shoulders. “Do you mind if I take a ride to visit Stormy? I owe her an apology.”
“It sounds like a good place to start. If she’s handled the place this long, Stormy may be a good resource for you.”
“I’ve let a lot of things go by the wayside. It’s time I made things right,” he said, rising.
“Dinner will be waiting for you when you get home. Maybe you should stop by the facility and start separating some of those papers. Figure out what needs to be addressed first,” Samantha suggested.
“Thank you,” he said, brushing his lips against hers. “I’ve seen Leo miss spending time with his family. At the time, I thought he got behind. I suspect he covered for me. Leo hired me to do the job, and I’m not letting my brother down.”
“Then, I’ll see you when you get back,” she said proudly.
Whiskey signaled Hope, and they returned to his truck. He drove toward Cole and Stormy’s cabin. As if Leo’s ghost agreed with his decision, the wind circled around his truck and lay neatly on the ground as he parked.
Knocking on the door, he waited until Stormy answered. Her eyes grew round as she saw him.
“Hello, Stormy,” he greeted. “May I come in?”
Stormy hesitated a moment before she moved aside and gestured for him to continue. Whiskey signaled Hope to follow and made his way into the living room. Sitting on the couch, he watched as she swiped her cheek and held her chin high.
“What can I do for you?” she asked stiffly.
“You can forgive me,” Whiskey said quietly. “I’ve acted like a complete bonehead and took it out on you. I know you’re covering for my job, and you left today because I overwhelmed you. I’ve come to offer you my apology and to ask for your help.”
Stormy’s mouth dropped open and shut.
“I appreciate it, Lass. I’m sure Leo told you to watch over me.
I’m not saying we’ll have an easy go of things right off the bat, but it’s important I do this.
First thing tomorrow, we’re moving the stack of paperwork into my office.
Then, I need to contact Rocker and offer him the position.
I might even send him to relieve Knight,” Whiskey added.
“I’ll be honest, I suck at doing the balance sheet and paying the monthly bills.
I’m assuming you’ve done them. The more I think about it, the less I believe I even paid the team.
If you can teach me how to run the payroll, I’ll get it handled. ”
“May I make a suggestion, sir?” she asked.
“My dad taught me how to do this stuff. He’s retired and driving my mother crazy since they moved here.
Maybe you can offer him a job, even on a temporary basis, to handle the accounting aspects.
It’ll free up your time to focus on new hires.
Several veterans have submitted their applications, and we have jobs available for them.
The construction contractor has called us twice, begging us to take his security job in Seattle and Portland. It’ll bring in money for the business.”
“Can you ask your dad to come to my office around 0930?” he asked.
Stormy’s eyes sparkled at his request. “Yes, sir.”
“Good. I’m making an appointment with Claire tomorrow if she can make time for me. We need to make lots of changes. I’m sorry I’ve made you feel all alone these past couple of months.”
Stormy smiled. “I accept your apology and will call my dad when we’re done.”
“Then go ahead and do it, lass,” he said. “Tomorrow, we’ll get started on the right foot.”
Rising from the couch, he motioned Hope to follow him. He shook Stormy’s hand before walking with Hope to his truck. The sinking feeling vanished as he put the truck in drive. Whiskey smiled to himself as he headed home.
“Don’t worry, brother,” he said to the wind. “I’ll make you proud.”