Chapter 10
By the time they reached the cabin, Bryanna already put the kids down for the night.
Catherine blew her nose and dabbed her eyes, trying to feel brave. Telling the team to return felt like the hardest thing she had ever done. Her heart ached and felt heavy as Kassie shut off the engine.
“It took courage to do what you did tonight,” Kassie said quietly. “I don’t know if I’d have the guts to do it.”
“As soon as I read Leo’s letter, I needed to do it,” Catherine sniffled. “Part of me doesn’t want to stop. Maybe it’s wishful thinking. Or part of me wants to believe I dreamed this whole thing.”
“I wish,” Kassie whispered. “Come on. The kids have settled, and you need to rest. You insisted on doing this, and I don’t even want to think about your blood pressure.”
“All right, Mom,” Catherine said, sighing. “I’m ready for this day to end.”
Kassie helped her out of the car and into the cabin. Bryanna hugged her as she entered. “I finished the laundry and fresh pajamas are in the bathroom for you.”
“You’re amazing,” Catherine said. “Thanks for watching the kids.”
“Melody helped me. She’s such a great big sister,” Bryanna praised her.
“Yes, she’s very helpful,” Catherine said. “Once I get settled, I’ll return the favor and watch your munchkins.”
“Please,” Bryanna brushed her off. “They’re angels. I merely hung out with them.”
“I hate to feel like a party crasher, but I’m ready for bed,” Catherine said, hugging Bryanna again. “I really appreciate the help.”
“Good night,” Bryanna said softly.
“Night,” Catherine said as she entered the bedroom.
She hesitated by the closet. Feeling the need to have Leo with her, she perused his shirts until she found his favorite.
Entering the bathroom, she took off her makeup, brushed out her hair, brushed her teeth, and changed, pulling his shirt over her head.
She smelled it, longing to catch his scent.
Walking into the bedroom, she noticed Kassie changed and already lying on Leo’s side of the bed, careful not to touch his pillow.
Her best friend smiled at her. “Climb in, and I’ll get the light,” she said, fluffing her pillow.
Slipping into the covers, Catherine got in and sighed. “Didn’t we talk about this? You can’t sleep with me forever,” she reminded her.
“Starting tomorrow, you’re on your own,” Kassie informed her. “But I’m not leaving my best friend on the night she called her husband’s team home.”
“Neither will I,” Bryanna said, rolling out a sleeping bag and a pillow and sliding inside.
“Have you gone mad?” she asked.
Samantha and Lizzy softly knocked and made room on the opposite side, rolling out their sleeping bags.
Claire and Gabby waddled in and kissed her cheek. “We’re here, too. The women insisted we use the pullout couch. Bryanna has made it up for us.”
Tess and Stormy entered next, hugging her. Stormy brought a cot and set it up in the corner for Tess and then unrolled her bag as Brownie watched.
Annabelle smiled as she took her turn and lay next to Tess.
Tears gathered as the women showed their support. The gesture meant more than she could express.
Julie and Avie silently made their way in and settled. Addyson arrived last and settled at the foot of the bed.
“I can’t believe…,” Catherine stammered. “You did this.”
“We want you to know you’re not alone,” Addyson whispered. “There will come a time when you’ll feel alone, and we want you to remember this moment. We stand with you through the good times and the bad.”
“How did you do it, Addyson? I’m sorry. It’s a highly personal question. When Sam died, did you feel like you woke up from a horrible dream?” Catherine asked, holding Kassie’s hand.
“I won’t lie to you,” Addyson said. “The first year felt the worst. Some days I felt sad. Others, I felt mad at the world. Eventually, I learned to take it minute by minute, then hour by hour. Then, I made it through an entire day,” she explained.
“The pain doesn’t go away. You learn to live with it differently. ”
Catherine let out a shaky breath. “It hurts too much to think about it. Did he suffer? What were his last thoughts? Did he know how much I loved him?”
“It won’t do any good to torment yourself,” Addyson chided. “Concentrate on the good memories. As a nurse who worked in the field, a lot of men claim to relive their best memories. I’m sure Leo thought of you and his kids.”
“Everyone knows we fought about the baby,” Catherine cried. “We agreed not to discuss it the night before he left. I wish I could take back all those hurtful words. I want this baby more than anything.”
“Shhh,” Kassie said. “Leo knew how much you loved him. He always got in trouble for something. It defined your relationship. Remember when he swore enough to pay for all new floors?”
Lizzy giggled. “How about the time when we went away, and he forgot to treat his office for lice after picking Melody up from school? He spread it to the whole team.”
The women laughed together.
“I’ll never forget Patch bitching about Leo putting him on latrine duty for a month. Turns out Brody ate all the bacon,” Claire called softly from the other room.
“We can’t forget how he stood vigilante over Taco after he got stabbed, wearing that ridiculous mask he bought for you,” Tess reminded them.
“Saint nearly choked him when he caught the flu and whined the entire time,” Bryanna added.
“I’ll never forget how he kept doing CPR on you after the fire. He refused to let you go,” Kassie said gently.
“He never failed in taking LJ to ball games and to the movies. The entire team moved me here and promised me a new life after Whiskey supposedly died. Now, I have the best friends I could ever ask for,” Samantha reminded them.
“Leo saved me,” Stormy confessed. “He gave me a job and ensured I knew my value. Cole and Brody helped, but Leo’s insistence on giving me a job helped me more than I ever knew.”
“He helped get through to Patch. I might have died if not for Leo and the team helping him find me,” Claire admitted from the living room.
“Leo never gave up on Knight, even when he acted like an ass,” Gabby called from the other room. “Trust me, I almost gave up on him.”
“Leo never gave up on someone he cared about. When Ragu struggled during detox, Leo sat with him. He made him eat and drink. At first, I considered him bossy, and then I realized he did it because he cared about Ragu,” Annabelle told them.
Catherine smiled in the dark as she recalled her husband’s loyalty and how he showed his love. Her eyes closed as she conjured his image in her mind. No one could ever take Leo Armstrong’s place. He represented more than a great man. He was a legend.