Chapter 23
Kassie stroked Catherine’s hair as she cried.
“Do you think he’d like the casket? I mean, he’s not in it, but did I pick out everything? It needs to be perfect.”
“It will be,” Kassie assured her. “You’re doing what Leo wanted.”
“It felt like getting punched in the gut to pick out the coffin. Maybe I should have bought a box from Bryanna’s bakery, added a piece of her chocolate mousse cake, and buried it.
Leo would love having a piece to go. Does it sound stupid to bury an empty casket?
Melody cries herself to sleep every night.
It’s heartbreaking. I don’t know how to manage this pain.
It feels like someone ripped out my heart. ”
“Addyson said, minute by minute, hour by hour,” Kassie reminded her. “Grief doesn’t have a time limit.”
“I’m trying,” Catherine sniffed and blew her nose. “The florist got her nose out of joint when I told her I planned to pick wildflowers for the top of the coffin.”
“Who cares? You’re doing it for Melody. I’m glad you didn’t take her to the funeral home. This will make her feel like she has a part to say goodbye,” Kassie said softly.
“I’m glad the team will be here. They’re Leo’s biggest accomplishments.
His parents were awful people. I’m glad he found my brother, Eric, and they became best friends.
My dad taught Leo about loyalty and honor.
His dad hated how much time he spent at our house.
One night, Leo knocked on the door and asked if Eric might come outside.
My mom caught a glimpse of his face and called my dad.
She dragged him into the kitchen and cared for his cuts and put ice on his bruised eye.
My father took him into the study, and Leo admitted his dad beat him for coming to our house.
My dad opened the door, and Eric took him upstairs to his room.
My dad kissed Mom and left a few minutes later.
“Where did he go?”
“I suspect my dad beat the shit out of Leo’s father. He came home with bleeding knuckles, and Mom didn’t say a word. She tended to his hands. He only said, ‘It won’t happen again.’
“Did his dad leave him alone?” Kassie asked.
“He still gave him shit, but Leo never showed up with bruises again,” Catherine said. “My dad called him son.”
“Leo affected a lot of people,” Kassie said. “In this mission, he did some good for his fellow military.”
“Don’t you need to get home?” Catherine asked. “It’s past suppertime.”
“The grans have everything covered. I’m here for you,” she said, brushing the hair from Catherine’s face as she lay in her lap.
“Mom?” Melody said from the hallway.
“Yeah, baby? Aunt Kassie and I are in the living room,” she said, sitting up.
Melody ran into the living room with a tear-streaked face. “I can’t find it.”
“Find what, baby?” Catherine asked.
“I wanted us to all bury Dad with something. I can’t find Grace’s rattle. I can’t give him one of her books. She’ll freak. I’ve never seen a kid attached to a machine gun parts catalog,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“We have a spare catalog we can use,” Catherine suggested. “What did you decide for Derrick?”
“I haven’t decided. When Dad left, he complained about him always playing with his poop. I don’t want to make Dad live in eternity with Derrick’s doo doo,” Melody confessed.
Catherine and Kassie laughed.
“I don’t think Dad would appreciate it. Maybe we can put a picture of Derrick or one of his toy tanks? Catherine suggested.
Melody put her hand on Catherine’s stomach. “I don’t know this baby yet. What can I put in there for him or her?”
“Maybe we can put one of the ultrasound pictures in it,” Kassie proposed.
“Dad will love it,” Catherine said gently. “Did you finish your picture?”
“I’m still working on it,” she said. “I want it perfect.”
“I know you’ll do a great job,” Catherine said. “Did you finish your homework and put it in your backpack?”
“Yeah. Mrs. Smith says I don’t need to do homework if I feel sad,” Melody informed her.
Catherine pulled Melody closer and cupped her face. “We’ll feel sad for a long time. You’ll miss Dad every day. But if he were here, what do you think he’d say about you not doing your homework because your teacher gave you a free pass to feel sad?”
Melody shifted her weight from one leg to another. “He’d say suck it up, buttercup, we still got work to do.”
“Exactly. We’ll get through the hard days together and feel sad. But we can’t let it stop us from living. Does that make sense?” Catherine said, kissing her forehead.
“Yeah. Things feel different without him here. I don’t like it,” she confessed.
“It might feel different, but Dad’s here with us. He lives in your heart. Even if you can’t see him, you’ll remember what he’s told you. When you’re not sure, we’ll figure it out together,” Catherine comforted her.
“You’ll always have your Aunt Kassie and Uncle Chase if your mom isn’t around. Your other aunts and uncles feel the same way,” Kassie soothed her.
“I think I’ll go finish my picture. Can I keep it between Dad and me?” Melody asked.
“Absolutely. Some things don’t need to get shared with everyone else,” Catherine said.
Melody walked down the hall and entered her room.
“You did good,” Kassie praised her. “Let me make you something to eat. You haven’t eaten since lunch.”
“Everything tastes bland. I feel numb, like I’m going through the motions. I can’t get stressed because of the baby. It’s almost like Leo planned it. I can hear him. “Now, Kit Kat, I know I screwed up, but think of the baby,” she said, crying.
“Why don’t I stay with you tonight? Chase left with Whiskey. We can have a sleepover,” Kassie offered.
“The night nurse will be here shortly. She got a flat, and one of the veterans stopped to help her change it. You have your family to care for. I will be all right. It doesn’t feel like it right now, but I have four kids to think about.
They need their mom. Thanks for coming with me today.
Bryanna and Ty were sweet to cover the luncheon after the service. ”
“We can still have it at my house,” Kassie offered.
“No. This was his home, and people will come to pay their final respects,” Catherine said firmly. “I want Melody to have her own space if she gets overwhelmed.”
“Then, I’ll head home. Get some sleep, and I’ll talk to you in the morning,” Kassie said, hugging her friend.
“I love you,” Catherine whispered.
“Right back atcha,” Kassie said, holding back the tears.
“Call me if you hear from the team,” Catherine said. “I know they’ll try to protect me, but I need to know.”
“I’ll never keep it from you,” Kassie vowed. “Eat something.”
“I will,” she promised.
Kassie put on her boots, grabbed her purse, and got into her SUV.
She watched Catherine enter the kitchen and lean her head against the fridge.
Pain shot through Kassie’s chest as she observed her best friend cry.
“I’ll do my best, Leo, to keep her going.
Wherever you are, give her the strength to go on without you,” she whispered as she started the vehicle.
Something told her nothing would ever heal her friend’s broken heart.