Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Cora
“We’re friends, aren’t we, Cora?”
Atlas’ question repeats through my head. After giving him my address, I keep my eyes fixed out the window as he drives. I need to think.
Are we? I steal a look at him driving through the evening, taking in how the streetlights lighten his skin, flickering across parts of the tattoos that wind up his neck.
He took off his beanie when we got in the car, tossing it in the back.
Now his dark hair looks like there’s not a single strand in place, but somehow it fits him.
He looks like a raging storm about to hit, and I’m afraid of the trajectory.
I thought we were making some progress, but maybe not. We had fun at the game. Atlas knows a lot about hockey, and I was surprised to learn that he and the guys all played. I’m not the best skater, but there’s nothing like a hockey game. The ice, the speed, and the energy are so addictive.
“I thought we were friends, but honestly, Atlas, you’re exhausting,” I admit.
That’s the word that comes to mind when I think about him—exhausting.
His dark eyes haunt my dreams more than I care to admit, and I daydream about him sometimes at the library when I’m shelving books or cataloging.
It’s not because of his hot and cold behavior, at least not entirely.
I’m exhausted trying to figure out what it is about me that seems to set him off so much, while at the same time I find myself wondering how I can make him smile more.
“I’m exhausting?” He repeats my words slowly, as if he’s confused. “What about me exhausts you?”
“I don’t know how to explain it to you.”
“Why don’t you try?” he suggests.
Huffing, I finally snap. “You know what? Fine, it’s because—” I’m cut off when my phone rings. Of course, now would be the time I get a call.
Checking the screen, I see that it’s Matt. I know Noah’s at Dane’s tonight, so maybe he finally got done with work.
“Hold on, I have to take this.”
I ignore the way Atlas shakes his head. He can be mad.
“Hey, Matt. What’s going on?”
“Hey, Cora. Just wanted to check in. Sorry I missed the game. The emergency surgery lasted longer than I thought it would.” He sighs. “Were you still able to go?”
“Are they okay?” I ignore Atlas’ questioning glance. “And yeah. I went with a… a friend,” I finish lamely.
“Yeah. He’s okay. I guess he thought the word ‘chew’ in chew toys was optional. Poor guy.”
Nodding, though he can’t see me, I agree. “Okay, well I’m glad everything is okay. I enjoyed the game.”
“Maybe we can get a raincheck?” he asks.
Chewing on my lip, I think before answering, “Sure, we can see when our schedules might line up again. Make sure you tell Noah hi for me when you see him.”
“Will do. Oh, I’ve got to go. Mom’s calling. See you later, Cora.”
I disconnect the call and stare at the screen a moment longer, admiring the picture of Noah and me as the background. It was from last Halloween—which reminds me that it’s coming up soon. I’ll have to see what he wants to do.
Adding a note to my phone, I’m shocked when Atlas interrupts my thoughts.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he snaps.
Swinging my gaze toward his, I think something is going on outside, but there’s nothing. It’s just us. I realize I’m almost home and can’t wait to just crawl into bed.
“What?” I’m genuinely confused. “What’s wrong?”
“How do you keep them all straight? How many do I have to compete with?”
“What are you talking about?” Turning my body toward him, I stare and wave my hands. “Explain.”
“Well, first you were supposed to go out with Matt”, he sneers. “Then you got stuck with me, and Sean tried to scoop you up, but of course, let’s not forget about Noah.”
“Don’t you dare talk about Noah… ever.” Now I’m pissed. Atlas doesn’t know he’s my brother, but I don’t like his tone.
“Oh, is he your main guy then?”
“Yeah. Actually, he is.”
I don’t owe him an explanation, but I’ll be damned if he treats me like this.
I’m fuming as we turn onto my street, and as he gets closer to my house, I count the seconds until I can get out of this car.
He’s stupid if he thinks I’m letting him take me to my car tomorrow. I’ll call Mila or get her dad to come.
“Do they all know?” he asks.
“Do they all know what?” I force out in frustration.
“That you’re out with me! That you and I have something,” he spits out.
“Excuse me?” I ask, staring at him in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Is one person not enough? Why did I think I would be enough?” He shakes his head, pulling into my driveway.
I stare at the house that Noah and I have worked so damn hard to call home.
The house I was only able to really afford because my grandmother hated my parents so much, she left us with them and tried to buy my forgiveness when she died.
He doesn’t know shit about me, and I’m not going to enlighten him when he thinks he’s got it all figured out.
Making a mental note to look for a new job in the morning, I spare a glance at him and find his eyes locked on me.
I shake my head sadly as I look at him. “I don’t know what happened to you, but let me tell you something, Atlas.
” Pointing my finger at him, I let him have it.
“You’re exhausting because I never know where I stand with you, and quite frankly, I don’t give a shit anymore.
You’re not the man I thought you were or could be.
I am a good person, but you prefer to see the worst in people, and no matter how good-looking you might be, or how beautifully you tattoo, you have ugly insides,” I explain angrily, my voice rising.
“You’re exhausting because I spend too much time thinking about you, and I can’t figure out why I bother. ”
Opening the door of the car, I take a deep breath. The cool air does little to dampen my temper. I don’t think I’m a violent person, but right now I could punch him.
Maybe I’m more like my parents than I thought.
No. Shaking that thought out of my head, I know I’m not really like them.
Not bothering to look back and watch him leave, I let myself into the house and turn the lights on.
The living room feels empty without Noah’s shoes on the floor or his sports bag strewn all over, but it’s okay.
He’ll be home tomorrow. Noah is the only guy I need.
I was dumb to think there could be another side to Atlas.
The level of disappointment I feel is surprising.
Tossing my keys on the table, I grab a bottle of water from the fridge.
God, that arrogant asshole. Taking a deep breath, I tell myself it’s time to look for something different tomorrow.
Maybe I can get more hours at the library, or just not work right now.
It’s not like I have to, but I want to make sure Noah has money set aside for when he’s older.
I wonder if Mr. Morgan wants help at the garage again.
Shutting off the kitchen light, I take my water and go to head upstairs. Nothing sounds better than crawling into the shower and curling up in bed. I nearly shriek when banging at the door stops me.
“Cora. It’s me,” Atlas shouts from the other side.
Standing quietly in my spot, I refuse to move. Maybe if I wait a few minutes, he’ll get tired and leave.
“I’m not leaving. Open the door.” Damn it.
“Give me one good reason,” I shout, walking toward the door. I don’t have it in me to fight him anymore.
Sighing in resignation when I’m met with silence, I unlock the door and fling it open to see Atlas standing on my front porch, head down.
As soon as the sound of the door opening registers, his head snaps up, and he looks straight at me.
His dark hair is messier than it was in the car, and when he takes a step toward me, I don’t move.
“Well?” I huff out, staring at him, as he stares at me. “Why are you here? What’s your problem now?”
“You are,” he responds, right before his lips crash onto mine.