Chapter 26 #2
I tune out the rest of dinner after that, eating on autopilot. Emma’s food is delicious, but I find it hard to focus on anything with Atlas next to me. His thumb is rubbing across my skin, and it reminds me of a few nights ago. I can’t think straight when he touches me like this.
“So.” Emma’s voice breaks through my haze. “Who’s ready for dessert?” she asks, standing to clear plates.
“Here, let me help,” I offer as I stand, trying to shake out of his grip.
“Nonsense. Atlas, let go of that poor girl’s hand you’ve had in a death grip all night and grab the ice cream,” she orders, causing a blush to sprout on his cheeks. I guess we weren’t as discreet as I thought.
Once dessert is finished, I offer to help with dishes, but Emma won’t hear of it.
“It’s fine, Em,” Atlas interjects. “You cooked, so we can clean.”
“Can I use your bathroom?” Noah’s small voice cuts in.
Emma looks at him with a smile. “Of course, I’ll show you where it is.” She gives Atlas a look, then leads Noah out.
As soon as they’re out of earshot, I whirl around and glare at him. “What is wrong with you? You can’t do that.”
“Can’t do what?” he asks, genuinely confused.
“Touch me like that.” Closing the distance between us, I stare up at him. “Noah was sitting there, and so was your mom. I’m nervous enough without thinking about you touching me.”
He grabs my arm and pulls me closer to his chest. “Does my touch make you nervous, Firefly? Does it make your heart feel like this?” he asks, placing my hand over his chest. The urge to pull away is at the forefront of my mind when I feel how fast his heart is beating.
It’s a quick, steady thrum under my hand.
“That’s what it feels like every time I’m around you, Cora. ”
“That’s not normal,” I whisper, breaking eye contact to look where my hand is still covering his chest.
“No,” he admits. “It’s not.”
I don’t know why hearing that hurts until I feel his hand under my chin.
Tilting my face toward his, he murmurs, “It’s so much fucking better,” as he brushes his lips against mine.
It’s not a hard or controlling kiss, like the one on Saturday night.
It’s soft, and I melt as he pulls me closer to his body.
I move my hand to wrap it around his neck and pull him down to me.
His mouth moves on mine, and when I feel his teeth nip my bottom lip, I gasp.
Taking advantage, Atlas slides his tongue against mine.
He tastes of chocolate and devastation. It’s a dangerous combination.
Gently pulling back, he brushes his lips over mine once more, then places his hand over my heart.
With his other hand, he tucks a stray lock of hair behind my ear and leans down until he’s eye level with me. “Not normal, but it feels so right. I think you know that too. Don’t fight me… don’t fight us.”
Taking a step back, I clear my throat and gesture toward the sink. “We should probably get these done.”
Smiling, Atlas nods, and we silently work in tandem to clean everything up, stealing glances at each other. There’s something different about Atlas and the more time I spend with him, the more I’m not sure I’ll be able to resist him. Or that I want to.
When we’re done, we head back out to the couch where Noah is sleeping. Crap. Glancing at my watch, I realize it’s later than I thought.
As if sensing my panic, Atlas leans down and softly says, “Don’t worry. I just want to grab something, and we can head out.”
Nodding, I watch his retreating form disappear down a hallway, leaving me with Emma. I try not to let my unease show. She’s been nothing but kind all evening, but I didn’t exactly have the best mother figure.
Looking around the living room, my eyes zero in on the photo I saw earlier.
Studying the boys when they were teens, I smile at the picture.
They look like babies instead of the giant tattooed men I know.
It’s easy to pick Atlas out of the bunch.
His face still has the same scowl I saw most days when I first started.
“It’s my favorite picture.” Emma’s voice interrupts my thoughts. She stands next to me, looking at the photo.
Trying to calm my racing heart, I look back at the photo. “They look so young, but still like trouble,” I attempt a joke.
“Oh, they were trouble. Every single one of them, but I wouldn’t have had them any other way. The best thing I ever did in my life was take them in.”
Noticing it’s just the five of them in a lot of the pictures, I almost ask where her husband is, but think better. She must sense my question because she gives me a knowing look.
“My husband didn’t appreciate that I couldn’t have kids, so he found a new family.”
“I don’t understand.”
“They came to me as teenagers,” she simply explains, leaving me to read between the lines. That’s why they call her Emma instead of Mom sometimes.
They were foster kids themselves. I never would have guessed it about them. My heart breaks a bit for each of them. Kash, Rhett, Seth and Atlas are all such great guys, it makes me wonder how she came to end up with all four of them.
“I should thank you, ya know?”
“For what?” I almost dread the answer.
“You make him smile. Atlas can be...” She trails off, looking at the photo as if she’s trying to find the word. “Complicated,” she settles on.
That’s an understatement. Atlas is the very definition of complicated.
He was so hot and cold when we first met.
A scowl was always aimed at me, and he was rude, but now he seems boiling, and I don’t know how to wrap my head around that.
He’s kind to Noah and took care of me, so I don’t know which side of Atlas is real.
“He was the last one to join us, and boy was he something. Furious, withdrawn, and didn’t want anything to do with any of us.
” She shakes her head as if lost in memory.
“But I knew that one day when he found someone, he’d love them so hard they’d never doubt it.
He has a big heart; it’s just been heavily guarded. ”
“We barely know each other. I don’t think that’s the case with us,” I stammer lamely. She can’t mean Atlas loves me, right? That’d be insane. We’ve only known each other for a month or two, and he’s been angry for most of it.
After staying silent for a moment, she continues, “Atlas doesn’t talk much, and he smiles even less. The way he looks at you speaks volumes, so just remember that the next time he opens his big mouth and sticks his foot in, because he will.”
Not knowing what to say, I simply nod.
“Are you ready to go, Cora?” Atlas asks from behind us. I don’t know how long he’s been standing there or how much he heard, but he has my jacket in his hand.
“Yeah. Let me just grab Noah.” I take my jacket, quickly shrugging it over my shoulders. Turning to Emma, I smile. “Dinner was delicious. I appreciate you cooking for us. My energy is still coming back.”
“It was a pleasure to have you. After all, I owe you one.” She leans in and hugs me tightly. “It’s not every day a stranger pays for all of your junk food.”
Surprise courses through me. That’s why she looked so familiar. She was the woman in front of me the night Noah got sick, and Atlas yelled at me. I was on my last leg that night and just wanted to go home.
Atlas looks from me to Emma. “That was you?”
“You knew about that?” I ask him, looking at Emma, though the question is for Atlas.
“Oh yeah. I told him all about it when he came over that night.” Moving over to him, she puts her arms around his waist and hugs him. “He was having a pity party, so I canceled it when I reminded him that other people go through shit too.”
Atlas looks sheepishly at the ground, then kisses the top of Emma’s head. “Thanks again for dinner, Emma. We’ve gotta get Noah home. School night and all.”
Nodding numbly, I lean down to grab Noah, but Atlas puts his hand on my arm. “What are you doing?”
“I can carry Noah out if you get the door,”
Shaking his head, Atlas leans down and scoops up Noah’s sleeping form as if he weighs nothing. “Come on, Firefly, it’s late. The car should be warm by now,” he says, walking toward the door.
Picking my jaw off the floor, I follow closely behind them, opening the door so he can go through with Noah. The car is already running. He must have come out to warm it up while I was talking to Emma. Watching him on the porch for a moment, he opens the back door and gently sits Noah down.
Turning toward Emma, I thank her again for her generosity. As I head toward the car, I hear her voice behind me. “Volumes, Cora. Volumes.” She looks over my shoulder at Atlas, who is waiting next to my door. “Drive safe, Atty.”
“Goodnight, Emma.”
When I reach the car, Atlas opens my door, shutting it softly after I’m situated. I try to get my bearings as he walks around to his side and slides in. It’s quiet as we head back to my house. I attempt to wrap my head around the evening.
It’s like the Atlas I met and the one sitting next to me are two different people. He’s definitely complicated. I think back to all the times at the shop I’d find him watching me, or how he’d suddenly be there when a customer was being friendly. Maybe he didn’t really hate me; he was just jealous.
Can I handle someone like that in my life? Can I let them into Noah’s? It’s not just me I have to consider. Growing up with violent parents, I have to be careful. My decisions can affect Noah and his childhood.
I’m so caught up in my thoughts, I don’t realize we’ve made it home, and Atlas is talking to me. Meeting his gaze, I say, “What was that?”
“I was telling you we’re home. If you get the door, I’ll grab Noah. Come on, it’s late.”
Nodding, I grab my keys and head to the door. On the front steps is a bouquet of flowers. That’s weird. They must be for one of the neighbors. I decide to take them in and figure it out tomorrow.
Unlocking the door, I quickly set the flowers on the kitchen table and go back to open the outer door.
Atlas hits the top of the porch as soon as I open it, holding it for him to pass.
He walks upstairs with Noah in his arms. I listen as I hear his voice.
“Gotta wake up a second. You need to brush your teeth real quick.”
Quietly, I walk up the stairs to check on them, but I find Atlas already coming down. Closing the gap between us, I give him a questioning look. “What are you doing?”
“Waiting for you to say goodnight to Noah so I can say goodnight to you.”
Blushing, I nod and head up to check on him. I almost laugh when I get to his room. His clothes from tonight are on the floor even though his hamper is five feet away, and he’s already in bed. He must be really tired. Stepping into his room, I grab his clothes and toss them in the basket.
“Night, Cora Bora.”
I turn to see his sleepy gaze on me.
“Night, Needy Noah.” I smile as I turn off his light.
“Cora?”
“Yeah, Noah?” I pause in the doorway.
“Atlas seems cool.”
“I’m glad you think so, Noah. Night, bud.” I give him a small smile, trying not to show how relieved I feel. Closing the door, I head back downstairs and brace myself. Somehow, I don’t think Atlas’ goodnight will be as simple.