Chapter 8 #2
Mitch leaned closer and she had to stop herself for swaying toward him. She could totally picture the two of them cuddling together on the couch. “Hmm interesting. Do tell.”
Nadia took a second to comprehend that the man who kept to himself was flirting with her. She liked it. She liked him. “I always forget to turn lights off when I leave a room. Used to drive my brothers and sister crazy.”
Mitch shook his head. “Lame Boston. Apart from wasting electricity, that’s not a bad habit. Come on give it to me.”
“I hate to lose. Whenever we played board games as kids I would always throw a tantrum if I lost. Although I’m pretty sure my older siblings cheated to make sure I lost. I know they did that when we played a trivia game.”
“Hmm remind me not to play board games with you. Or if we do, I’ll let you win.” He sidled closer to her and now their thighs brushed against each other. Her body heated from the connection. “What else ya got?”
“I suppose you would call this more of an obsession than a habit. I love all things New England Patriots. I even have a Patriots sheet set on my bed.” She ducked her head, already feeling the bloom of a blush on her cheeks.
Mitch laughed again, this time a full belly laugh.
Glancing over at him she could see the surprise in his eyes, as though it had been a long time since he’d laughed like that.
“I should’ve known, with you being from Boston and all.
I can’t deny that team always seems to make it work. You gotta admire them.”
“Yes you do. Although I’m fully aware that in a couple years’ time they’re not going to be as successful, but they’re my team and I will love them no matter what.”
“Loyalty is a good thing. You don’t see much of it these days” he commented. He reached out and took some of her hair, curling it around his finger. The gesture sweet—just like when he brushed his fingers down her cheek.
Did he realize he was doing it?
And what did he mean by not seeing much loyalty these days? Had someone abused his trust? There were so many things she wanted to ask him but she probably had no right. Plus she didn’t want to spoil the moment they were currently sharing.
Without thinking Nadia snuggled a little closer to Mitch, placing her hand on his chest. His citrusy scent wafted around her. Instead of stiffening, like she thought he might do, Mitch put his arm around her shoulders, securing her to his side.
They sat like that for a few moments, Mitch continuing to play with her hair.
A peacefulness settled over them. It seemed crazy that they could find this level of comfort with knowing each other in such a short time frame.
Surviving a tornado had given her a new perspective on life.
It could’ve easily turned out worse. A shudder rippled through her.
“You okay, Boston?”
Nadia picked at the buttons on his shirt.
As much as she wanted to share her fears about what might have been, she was reluctant to do so.
What if her talking about almost dying would trigger him?
Again she was being unfair to him. She had no idea how often Mitch had his attacks.
The fact he’d had two around her didn’t mean he had them every day.
But she couldn’t avoid answering him either.
“Yeah, I was just thinking about how things could’ve been different last night.
The can could’ve hit my head at a different angle and I could’ve died.
Or the roof could’ve collapsed on all of us. ”
Mitch’s muscles stiffened the more she talked.
Damn, I knew I should’ve kept my mouth shut. Way to go, Nadia bringing back bad memories for him.
“If I learned one thing while in the Army and on deployment, life doesn’t come with guarantees and you can drive yourself crazy with what-if scenarios.” He pressed a soft kiss on her forehead. “None of those things happened and everyone came out alive. That’s all that matters, okay?”
She sighed. “Yeah, and I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For bringing up things that could bring back bad memories for you. I know you’re suffering from PTSD, me talking like I did can’t be good for you.”
Mitch shifted abruptly before standing. She had to catch herself from falling on her side. Shit, she’d gone too far. Why hadn’t she just changed the subject instead of apologizing?
“I think it’s time I went. You’ll be okay, tonight? Do you want me to call someone to keep you company?” There was no emotion in his voice, even though his last comment told her he still cared.
Nadia stood quickly, a flash of lightheadedness hit her, and she took a second to regain her balance. A little piece of her cried inside knowing that Mitch hadn’t tried to steady her. “Don’t go, Mitch. Please. It’s almost dinner time, why don’t we order something in.”
God, she hoped he wouldn’t rebuff her invitation. She had to make it right somehow. Make him understand she wasn’t trying to be insensitive to his issues. Or highlight them.
Mitch was a proud man. He’d probably hated this weakness in him. Intellectually he had to know he wasn’t the only former combat veteran who suffered from these types of attacks, but emotionally, he didn’t want to accept he was vulnerable.
“I’m not sure that’s the best idea,” he said, but he still hadn’t moved closer to leaving the living room. That had to be a good thing.
What she was about to say could make the situation worse or better, but she’d already poked the bear a little, she might as well poke it a lot.
What was the worst that could happen? He’d walk out and she’d never see him again.
Or he’d stay and they’d have a nice evening.
And maybe, just maybe, they’d share another kiss where both of them were aware of what was happening around them.
“Mitch, I know what I said was very personal, but I’ve seen you suffer two attacks.
One less than twenty-four hours ago. I don’t think any less of you for having them.
” Still he hadn’t moved so she closed the gap and placed her hand on his arm.
His bicep was rock hard beneath her fingers.
“I want to help you, Mitch. I know I can do that.”
He swiveled on her then. “How can you help me, Boston? You’re not a psychologist or psychiatrist. What are you going to do prescribe me with an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety meds?
News flash—I’ve already got those. And if you thought I was a zombie during my attacks, when I take those it’s ten times worse.
It feels like a curtain falls around me and I can’t see, think or feel anything.
It’s a fucking horrible sensation. So I deal with them the best way I can. ”
“By ignoring them.” She knew her words were harsh, but they needed to be said. Someone needed to make Mitch see that going alone wasn’t the best way. It was the dangerous way.
“You know I don’t have to stand here and take this from you.
” Mitch blew out a frustrated breath. Part of him admired Nadia for standing up to him.
For bringing forth the very subject he batted away with the accuracy of a sniper’s bullet whenever anyone else tried to talk to him about it.
The other part of him was pissed that she wasn’t backing down when he was being an asshole to her about it.
“You’re right, you don’t and yet if it really bothered you, you’d have already walked out.
Yet here you are still standing in this room.
Why is that?” Nadia challenged him, crossing her arms over her chest. The action stretched her t-shirt, accentuating her breasts, a certain part of his body tightening and he wished they were doing something other than arguing.
He was a master at changing the subject, well diverting it. If he kissed her, would it divert her focus off his attacks?
As if she was able to read his mind, she held up her hand. “No, whatever you’re thinking, don’t do it.”
“How do you know what I was thinking about?” The very thought of her knowing he wanted to kiss her was impossible. Even he couldn’t understand the pull to lock lips with her. It seemed he needed her kiss as much as he needed to breathe, which was even more ridiculous.
“It’s written all over your face. You want to change the subject and you’re thinking of things to do that will achieve that.
” Instead of putting space between them, like he thought she would, Nadia moved forward and rested her hands on his chest. Immediately his flesh warmed and some of her calm transferred to him.
“I’m not going to let you do that. I’m sure that’s what you do with everyone else, and they let you. But I won’t.”
Mitch slipped an arm around her waist, holding her tight against him. “You’re going to be a pain in my ass, aren’t you, Boston?”
“If it helps you, then yes I am.” She lifted her eyes to his and he lost himself in her open gaze. He should let her go. Walk out of her house and drive back to his lonely cottage on the ranch, but he couldn’t.
Since the first moment he became aware of her kissing him back at the celebration event, he’d known that she could be dangerous for him. He hadn’t known how dangerous until this moment. Nadia challenged him to face the demons he didn’t want to.
Mitch threaded his fingers through her hair, careful not to hit her injury. He nuzzled his nose against hers. His body kicking into overdrive at her sharp intake of breath.
He wanted to hear her make that sound again.
He wanted to make her cry out in desire when he possessed her.
He wanted her to be his.
“You’re impossible to resist, Boston.” He closed the gap and captured her lips. Mitch wasn’t gentle with his kiss. He couldn’t be. She called to the inner part of him he’d thought he’d lost in the dusty Afghan desert. The part he hadn’t wanted back until Nadia stormed into his life.
Her mouth opened beneath his and he thrust his tongue inside, dueling with hers. Her hands were pulling at his shirt and a shudder ripped through him when her fingers brushed the skin she exposed.
It would be so easy to lift her and lay her down on the couch. Slowly peel away every piece of clothing she wore and then kiss every single inch of her. Only now wasn’t the right time. She was still recovering and he had to put aside his needs.
Also he wanted their coming together to not be because he was avoiding talking about his issues, which, this was. As much as he’d like to think it wasn’t.
Slowing the intensity of the kiss was harder than he thought it was going to be. His body screamed at him to follow through on his thoughts, but the rational part of his mind, the part that had been partially aware during his last attack, set him on the right track.
Mitch pulled his lips away and buried his head in her neck. He could still smell the faint trace of the antiseptic from her hospital stay. Nadia needed a long shower or bath, dinner and then a good night’s sleep. He could help with two of the three items on that list.
Loosening his arms from their tight grip on her, Mitch took another deep breath and put some space between them. He kept his hands resting on her waist. He didn’t want to lose his connection with her. “Why don’t you take a shower or bath, if you’ve got a tub, while I order some dinner?”
“Are you suggesting I smell?” Nadia asked, grinning slightly.
“Well…” He lifted his hands up in an I don’t know gesture.
Nadia playfully slapped his arm. “Don’t you know that you should never tell a woman she smells?”
“If we can’t be honest with each other, what can we be?”
“This is true and you’re right, I do want to wash the hospital stay off me. I think there’s some takeaway menus in one of the drawers in the kitchen. Why don’t you choose something and order it? I’ll eat anything, I’m not fussy.”
Mitch pulled out his phone. “Takeaway menus are so 2002, there’s an app now for ordering food.”
Nadia shook her head laughing. He couldn’t deny he was enjoying the way the mood between them had shifted from intense to light-hearted. “You do what you have to do. I’ll be back in thirty.”
“Take your time.” Mitch scrolled through the list of restaurants. Kerrville wasn’t huge but they did have a couple of nice places to eat at, he hoped they did delivery.
“Mitch?”
“Mmmm?” he responded but didn’t look up. Nadia cleared her throat after a few heartbeats and he looked up.
“Thank you,” she said once she knew she had his attention. “For everything. For taking care of me to make sure I got home safely.”
A piece of the hard cast around his heart that had begun to crack even though he wasn’t aware of it, broke off. “You’re welcome, Boston. I know you’d do the same for me.”
“Yes, I would.”